Get the SKOdcast imported directly into your brain! http://startkyleorton.podbean.com/feed/
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Week 12 College Rankings
1. (-) Florida (10-0)- I'm not sure why people seem so concerned about their failure to dominate offensively. Their only obstacle is Alabama, a team that's clearly more offensively challenged, and their defense is good enough to stick it to any offense in the country.
2. (-) Texas (10-0)- A ho-hum drumming of Baylor keeps them on track.
3. (-) Alabama (10-0)- See above, but replace "Baylor" with "Mississippi State".
4. (-) Boise State (10-0)- I Still like them better than TCU.
5. (-) Cincinnati (10-0)- So they didn't start Tony Pike, they just brough him in the red zone? I'm so confused. Stop with your use of two amazing quarterbacks, damnit, and give me one.
6. (-) TCU (10-0)- I still like them less than Boise State (see what I did there?).
7. (-) Georgia Tech (10-1)- Could be a shootout with Georgia this weekend, but I don't see Joe Cox being able to keep up. GT makes it to the ACC title game with ease.
8. (+1) Pittsburgh (9-1)- They get West Virginia this weekend, who can still be dangerous, but it's more than likely that it'll all come down to next week's game vs. Cinci for all of the marbles. If Wannstedt wins that I may vomit.
9. (+1) Ohio State (9-2)- And Sweatervest is going back to the BCS, probably against Oregon. God damnit.
10. (+1) Oregon (8-2)- If they make it past Arizona and Oregon State the Pac 10 is theirs. However, the loss to Harbaugh has shaken my confidence in their ability to not fuck up.
11. (+1) LSU (8-2)- There's absolutely nothing remarkable about this team. The SEC right now consists of two leviathans, one well-rounded but unimpressive team (LSU), and then 9 teams that can each only play one half of the ball.
12. (+5) Oklahoma State (8-2)- They're at least talented enough to be the #12 team? Even though they've lost the only two tough games they've played.
13. (+3) Penn State (9-2)- See my last comment about OK State.
14. (-6) Iowa (9-2)- Woops. I hath committed the faux pas of ranking Iowa below a team they beat. I'm too lazy to fix it. Have fun in the Capitol One Bowl, boys.
15. (+7) Stanford (7-3)- Harbaugh is an unstoppable machine.
16. (NR) Clemson (7-3)- Similar to my Texas Tech clause, Iggins! demands that I rank Clemson whenever possible.
17. (+4) Wisconsin (8-2)- It all sucks from here on out.
18. (+2) Virginia Tech (7-3)- They're just too talented to have three losses. I'm disappointed in you, Frank Beamer.
19. (NR) Oregon State (7-3)- And they're back! Every single time I've ranked them they've lost their next game. Sorry Beavers, I hath jinxed you again.
20. (-5) USC (7-3)- The guys over at Every Day Should Be Saturday compared USC's losses to Oregon and Stanford this year to Nebraska's blowout loss to Colorado in 2001, which signalled the beginning of the end for the Cornhusker's decades long reign of asskickery. I think that's crap. USC is undeniably mediocre this year, but they have a true freshman quarterback who has shown flashes of serious potential, their usual stack of young blue chippers, and an offensive staff that's slowly gaining experience. They'll be back next year.
21. (-13) Miami (7-3)- What happened to the 'Canes being "back"?
22. (+1) Temple (8-2)- 8 wins, people. Temple. 8 wins. This is a school that hasn't been to a bowl since 1979. In the last 20 seasons before this one they've won a grand total of 48 games, (an average of 2.4 wins per season). Hell, Ron Dickerson, who coached the team for 5 seasons from 1993-1997, won 8 games Total in that time. What Al Golden has done is nothing short of amazing.
23. (-5) Utah (8-2)- Sorry Utah, you may have won a BCS bowl last year, but you aren't a Cinderella story, so you get to sit behind Temple.
24. (+1) Central Michigan (8-2)- Dan Lefevour is still a really good quarterback.
25. (-11) Houston (8-2)- There we go.
Friday, November 13, 2009
God Damnit
As for Cutler, well, I don't know what you want from me. Analysis? Defense? To say that it wasn't his fault that Hester fell down or that Kellen Davis was interfered with? Yeah, that's great, so he only threw 2 interceptions that were mind-numbingly stupid and fucked his team's chances in the red zone. Great. There's the Franchise. I can't keep him separate from my rants against the suck on this team. He's right there with them now. Can I blame them for dragging him down into the muck with them? Sure, why not.
We are in hell right now. As much as any football fan not in Cleveland, Detroit, Oakland, St. Louis, or Buffalo can be. Everything that could have gone wrong this season pretty much has, from the moment Jay threw his first pick in Green Bay and Urlacher's wrist snapped in half. Kyle Orton's 6-2 in Denver. No, I don't think he's had much to do with the 6 wins. He's had a lot to do with the 2 losses, but that doesn't change how much it chaps my ass that he's at 6-2 and the Bears are 4-5. Cutler's played three games on prime time tv and has been a complete embarassment in all three. The Eagles are coming in next week. God fucking damn it. I don't want to watch that. I just flat out do not want to watch. Before this season I thought I was well past that point of ever being so disgusted that I don't even want to watch my own team. I figured no matter what, the games should be entertaining with a real, live offense. Well, turns out I was wrong.
I hate this fucking team, and so should you.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
College Football Week 11 Rankings
1. Florida (9-0)- They beat Vandy. That means nothing, but they're still good.
2. Texas (9-0)- There ain't a tough game left on their schedule.
3. Alabama (9-0)- I still don't like their offense.
4. Boise State (9-0)- I still like them more than TCU.
5. Cincinnati (9-0)- They're going with Tony Pike at quarterback, which means their other absolutely amazing quarterback is waiting in the wings. Lucky bastards. Cinci in the top 5? We're through the looking glass, folks.
6. TCU (9-0)- I'm just gonna take a moment to reflect on my 4-6 being Boise State, Cincinnati, and TCU. Jesus.
7. Georgia Tech (9-1)- THE TRIPLE OPTION SHALL SHATTER THE BCS.
8. Iowa (9-1)- They got royally fucked, but that's what happens when you get that consistently lucky for 9 games. The 10th one just happens to bite you in the ass every now and then. They're screwed for Ohio State as well. Looking like a flashback to 2005, with Iowa and LSU meeting in the Capital One Bowl.
9. Pittsburgh (8-1)- Wanny's in the top ten. SOMEONE STOP THIS. END THIS NOW.
10. Ohio State (8-2)- Fuck. In my haste to destroy Iowa by injuring Stanzi with my mind, I did not factor in the fact that I was handing the Big Ten title to Ohio State. Accept my apologies, Hawkeye fans.
11. Oregon (7-2)- God damnit. They're still winning the Pac 10. Also, have you looked at the AP poll? USC is in this spot, with Oregon at #14, just one week after Oregon beat USC by TWENTY SEVEN POINTS. Fuck the AP.
12. LSU (7-2)- I do not, in any way, consider them a great team, but shit. It's a wasteland out there.
13. Miami (7-2)- I still like Jacory Harris?
14. Houston (8-1)- I guess.
15. USC (7-2)- This seems appropriate. Really, AP? Really?
16. Penn State (8-2)- This is what getting manhandled by the only two good teams you've played all year will get you.
17. Oklahoma State (7-2)- Like I said last week, 10-3 looks likely.
18. Utah (8-1)- Again, what the hell? Utah is 8-1? Name one Utah player. You can't do it.
19. Arizona (6-2)- They're a half game back of Oregon for first in the Pac 10, with a head to head coming on November 21st.
20. Virginia Tech (6-3)- I still think they're better than this.
21. Wisconsin (7-2)- It's all refuse at this point, and who represents mediocrity better than Wisconsin?
22. Stanford (6-3)- Harbaugh's amazing feat of making Stanford bowl eligible deserves at least a temporary ranking. Plus they're winning with a white running back. Who does that?
23. Temple (7-2)- No seriously, Temple has 7 wins. That's awesome.
24. Texas Tech (6-3)- There's a clause in my contract stipulating that I rank Texas Tech whenever possible.
25. Central Michigan (8-2)- I like Dan LeFevour.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
NFL Picks Week 10
(4-4) Chicago @ (3-5) San Francisco
Iggins!: Like I could pick the Bears after the last 3 weeks. 49ers win.
Code Red: The rules are what they are. Bears win.
(8-0) New Orleans @ (1-7) St. Louis
Code Red: Holy shit. What’s the NFL record for points in a game? Saints win.
Iggins!: Whatever the line is for this game TAKE IT. Saints win.
(1-7) Tampa Bay @ (3-5) Miami
Iggins!: Wow, Josh Freeman looked good. Interesting. Doesn’t really matter in Miami though (unless they throw Ted Ginn the ball). Miami wins.
Code Red: I like Freeman, but Miami won’t die yet. Dolphins win.
(1-7) Detroit @ (7-1) Minnesota
Code Red: Guh. Vikings.
Iggins!: Vikings.
(4-4) Jacksonville @ (4-4) New York Jets
Iggins!: Pussy-Tubin’ time. Jets win.
Code Red: Argument’s sake. Jacksonville.
(3-5) Buffalo @ (2-6) Tennessee
Code Red: Buffalo has THREE WINS? When did this happen?? Eek. Time to even that out. Titans win, and Iggins! Becomes more and more unbearable.
Iggins!: What’s that? Titties will be 3-0 with VY at QB? SUFFER, RED, SUFFER. Tits win.
(6-2) Cincinnati @ (6-2) Pittsburgh
Iggins!: Damn this is a good game. The Steelers haven’t lost since they lost to the Bengals, and this is pretty much for the AFC North. I’m going with Cincinnati.
Code Red: Argument’s sake. Steelers win.
(6-2) Denver @ (2-6) Washington
Code Red: Washington bloooooows. Maybe they’ll release Haynesworth’s fat ass and let him take Tommie Harris’ place after the season? Or not. Broncos win.
Iggins!: Wow, Washington keeps playing teams who really need to play a shitty team to turn around recent misfortunes. Nice bunch of guys, those Redskins. Broncos win.
(5-3) Atlanta @ (3-5) Carolina
Iggins!: The Panthers aren’t good, no matter what you see in the box scores of their last couple of games. Atlanta wins.
Code Red: I don’t care if they’re any good as long as Deangelo gets his touches. But no, they aren’t good. Atlanta wins.
(1-7) Kansas City @ (2-6) Oakland
Code Red: Woaaaaah ugly. Kansas City wins.
Iggins!: I made the mistake of picking KC way too many times. Oakland wins.
(3-5) Seattle @ (5-3) Arizona
Iggins!: Not wasting words here. Arizona wins.
Code Red: Ditto. Arizona.
(6-2) Dallas @ (4-4) Green Bay
Code Red: At least Green Bay looks awful too? Cowboys win.
Iggins!: Yeah, the Cowboys are somehow pulling it together and they look rather impressive. Plus, Rodgers is gonna get sacked at least 7 times. Cowboys win.
(5-3) Philadelphia @ (5-3) San Diego
Iggins!: The Eagles will struggle here. San Diego wins.
Code Red: Or they won’t. Eagles win.
(6-2) New England @ (8-0) Indianapolis
Code Red: Oooh! A good game! When was the last fucking time That happened? Colts win.
Iggins!: The Bengals vs. Steelers game. Also, when did this game become something that HAS to be played every year? Colts win.
(4-4) Baltimore @ (1-7) Cleveland
Iggins!: Oh wow, this is on Monday Night. Who the fuck scheduled this? Baltimore wins.
Code Red: Wait, what? I got when Cleveland got like 5 prime time games last year because of the 10-6 record in 2007 and the explosive offense. But what the hell, who wanted Cleveland on national tv?? Ravens win.
NCAA Picks, Week 11
#25 West Virginia @ #5 Cincinnati
Iggins!: So Cincinnati loses their QB, a top rated NFL prospect… and their backup kicks ass too. Life is not fair. Cincinnati wins.
Code Red: And they may have permanently benched that top rated NFL prospect for the back up. Can you imagine a first round pick being a guy that lost his job? Because it’ll happen. Cinci wins.
#7 Georgia Tech @ Duke
Code Red: Really? Georgia Tech.
Iggins!: Had to pick this game, it pretty much determines who wins the ACC coastal, believe it or not. And God I hate Ga Tech, so Duke wins.
#1 Florida @ South Carolina
Iggins!: Wow, how South Carolina has fallen. Pumping gas for Kiffykins and getting shredded by Mallet in the span of two weeks. But those were both road games and, well, Florida doesn’t have much to play for here. I’m callin a miracle, South Carolina wins.
Code Red: Right, other than the #1 rankings in the BCS and a shot at the national title game when there are several other undefeated teams right now. Moron. Florida wins.
Iggins!: Even if Florida loses here and wins out, they’d be in the title game, which would further cause chaos for the BCS, which I cheer for every year.
Idaho @ #6 Boise State
Code Red: Idaho got shellacked by Fresno State, a game I was watching at Buffalo Wild Wings when I went there for a late night dinner Saturday night. This anecdote means nothing. Boise Wins.
Iggins!: Yeah, Boise will go unbeaten again, and still not get a shot at the title. Boise State wins.
Stanford @ #9 USC
Iggins!: So, funny story. USC has lost to Washington and Oregon, yet Oregon, whose only losses are to Boise State and Stanford, and who BEAT USC, are ranked below USC. Sweet. Harbaugh rules, Stanford wins.
Code Red: USC wins, just to piss us all off with an undeserved conference title. WHY DID YOU FUCK UP OREGON??
Iggins!: …USC probably can’t win the conference title. Oregon would have to lose 2 more games in conference, Arizona would have to lose one more, and USC would have to win out.
Code Red: I totally knew that.
#10 Iowa @ #11 Ohio State
Code Red: Wow. My hatred finally reached the point where I was able to knock out Ricky Stanzi, and with Ohio State’s win over Penn State I may very well have cost Iowa the Big Ten Title. MUAHAHAHA. Ohio State wins.
Iggins!: Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and say you had nothing to do with it (considering you picked them to lose to Iowa State and Penn State too) and gonna say it’s that fucking Northwestern curse. But holy shit I’m not stupid enough to pick Iowa with a backup QB, third string RB, two injured O-Lineman, and 2 injured punt returners in the Horseshoe. Ohio State wins.
Code Red: But I did do that. It was my hatred that ruined Drew Tate's senior year, Jake Christensen's career, and Ricky Stanzi's ankle. Iowa quarterbacks continue to fall prey to my wrath.
#16 Utah @ #4 TCU
Iggins!: This should be called last chance week. Boise, TCU, and Florida all have their last real challenges and Cinci has one of their two final challenges, plus the Big Ten clincher game is this week. What I’m trying to say is, I hope all these teams go unbeaten so the BCS can fucking suffer. TCU wins.
Code Red: Utah is ranked? Really? Again? TCU wins.
#17 Arizona @ California
Code Red: Cal sucks, and they won’t have Best. Arizona wins.
Iggins!: Yeah that’s really all that needs to be said. Arizona wins.
Texas Tech @ #19 Oklahoma State
Iggins!: I love good games that are completely irrelevant! Oklahoma State wins.
Code Red: Mike Leach loves to fuck shit up. Texas Tech wins.
Notre Dame @ #12 Pittsburgh
Code Red: Wanny vs. Notre Dame. Two hatreds collide. Only one survives, and its Wanny.
Iggins!: Yeah, Wanny wins and gets Weis fired. Hurray! Pittsburgh wins.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Bears vs. Cardinals Breakdown
This should not be happening. There's enough talent on the Bears roster right now to be competitive. Cutler, Forte, Hester, Bennett, Knox, and Olsen all showed yesterday why this offense has a young, cheap core of skill position players that you can build around. They'll be excluded from this rant. On defense, however, Lance Briggs is about all you can point to and say "there's a keeper." Charles Tillman is still a quality corner, and I don't blame him for struggling in single coverage against Chad Ochocinco or Larry Fitzgerald when his idiotic coach decides to run a linebacker blitz every god damn play and leave Tillman with zero help from a safety or nickel. Especially when Kurt Warner can just fucking double or triple pump, step up in the pocket, dance around, or do whatever the hell he wants because the pass rush isn't even close to getting him. Think about that. Kurt Warner, a man famous for making Drew Bledsoe look mobile, easily evaded the "rush" all damn day yesterday. But it's still not the talent on defense (even though there's not a lot back there) that's sticking in my craw. There are teams out there with less than stellar talent who can avoid giving up 31 points in the first half, which the Bears have now done twice in three weeks.
What's bugging me is, once again, the stubborn nature of Lovie Smith. The Tampa Two works with a hall of fame caliber defensive tackle. Warren Sapp was one. Tommie Harris may have been on that path, but he's a shadow of his former self and a fucking moron to boot. His ass should be first on the chopping block this offseason unless he suddenly turns it on (little secret: it ain't happenin'). It's not fucking working. It hasn't worked since 2006. It won't work again. The sheer stupidity of continuing to run it over and over again boggles the mind. All day long yesterday Lovie sent linebacker after linebacker on blitzes up the middle and left Tillman alone on an island against Fitzgerald, or Bowman matched up against anything that lives, breathes, and has hands. The results on both sides of the field were bad. I'm tired of seeing it. For that alone he should at least be on the hot seat, if not the chopping block, but I'm not done yet.
There's cap room on this team. Cut Harris and Vasher's ridiculously high contracts, and there's even more room to work with. Let Ogunleye walk and you've got more money opened up. I don't even know what free agents are going to be available this year (I could probably find a list, but the NFL's such a crap shoot with franchise tags and transition tags that it's a hell of a guessing game as to who will actually make it to the market), but a few well placed signings and a change of coordinator and scheme on defense could make all the difference. Look at the Broncos and Saints. Both of them added a reputable coordinator (Mike Nolan, Gregg Williams) and a few well placed veteran free agents (Brian Dawkins, Darren Sharper) and it's made all the difference, so don't tell me it can't be done. There's enough talent on that defense to be mediocre. That would, believe it or not, put this team in contention. Right now they aren't even competitive. Aikman said yesterday that "at least they still have two games against the Vikings." I'd rather eat glass than watch what Jared Allen's going to do to Jay Cutler. I'm still going to watch, but after sack number 6 just picture me bleeding from my gums after trying to take down my beer, bottle and all. I can't even imagine the Favrellatio that will ensue from what that old fucker manages to do to this porous excuse for a defense.
If you want to know what really threw me into a boiling fit of rage and cemented me in the anti-Lovie camp, it was sending Cutler back out there with a minute and a half left in the game. He's been sacked 19 times this year and Lovie's tempting fate by throwing him out there in a completely lost cause. The only thing not driving me into the total depths of despair right now is the fact that Cutler is the most important piece to any future success this team will have, and if they fuck up and get him injured that can go right out the window as well, so fuck Lovie.
Going back to all that cap room I mentioned above, however, does anyone feel confident Angelo can use that money effectively? I agree he's probably bought himself more time than Lovie has by making the trade for Cutler (and Knox, actually, since Jerry took him with the 5th round pick the Broncos threw in), a move which at least showed that Jerry's not quite as complacent with the status quo as his milquetoast head coach, but I still don't think he can pick out a quality free agent if his life depended on it. He got lucky in the past with Thomas Jones, Fred Miller, John Tait, and Ruben Brown, but he went ahead and shit on those pick ups by trading TJ and sitting on his hands while those three lineman aged and then collapsed in 2007. Of his three big signings this offseason Pace is old and ineffective, Omiyale is riding the pine, and Tinoisamoa is sitting in a hot tub. Guh.
I didn't say much after the Bears got blasted by the Bengals. I didn't want to speak too soon and make an ass of myself in the anger over a loss, but this time around I don't think anything I'm uttering is uncalled for. Angelo and Smith should get all the credit for saving this franchise four years ago. They should also take all of the blame for what's happening now.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
NFL Picks
(2-5) Washington @ (4-3) Atlanta
Iggins!:
Code Red: God damnit, why did the Bears lose that game? And why can’t they get a shot at the Redskins? Falcons win.
(4-3) Arizona @ (4-3) Chicago
Code Red: Oh hell.
Iggins!: Seriously, I can’t pick against the Bears yet. Bears win.
(4-3) Baltimore @ (5-2) Cincinnati
Iggins!: Them Bengals are perty good. Bengals win.
Code Red: Like, scary good. Bengals win.
(5-3) Houston @ (7-0) Indianapolis
Code Red:
Iggins!: Or you’re just crazy. Indianapolis wins.
(3-4) Miami @ (5-2) New England
Iggins!: So the Dolphins have wins over very suspect opponents and the Patriots are perennially good. So.. I’m picking
Code Red:
(4-3)
Code Red: Okay, so the “playing teams that finished in the same place as you last year” thing means the Bears had to play the Falcons, the Vikings get the Panthers, and the Packers get the Bucs. Fuck. Packers win.
Iggins!: Yeah, that turned out well. Packers win.
(1-6) Kansas City @ (3-4) Jacksonville
Iggins!: Holy battle of suck, batman! I have to stop irrationally picking the Chiefs, so I’m forcibly breaking my habit.
Code Red: Why did you think the Chiefs would be good? What led you to that conclusion?
(3-4) Carolina @ (7-0) New Orleans
Code Red: They’re going down sometime, but it ain’t gonna be this week. Saints.
Iggins!: 16-0 bitch. Saint win.
(1-6) Detroit @ (2-5) Seattle
Iggins!: Wow this is irrelevant.
Code Red: Calvin Johnson’s coming back.
(1-6) Tennessee @ (3-4) San Francisco
Code Red: Iggins! started pulling out his Vince Young manlove last week, and all of that “he just wins games!” bullshit. Well this week he won’t. 49ers win.
Iggins!: Oh look, a battle of QBs who were drafted high and failed epicly! I have a sneaking suspicion that something wholly unnatural will happen in this game and Tennessee will win, causing Red to lash out in anger at me for suggesting that VY causes victory simply by being on the field.
(4-3) San Diego @ (5-3) New York Giants
Iggins!: Here we find a matchup of a team with an incompetent coaching staff but loads of talent against a team with a great coaching staff and diminishing talent. It’s hard to ignore how badly the Giants have been destroyed the last few weeks, but running tiny Darren up the middle is ineffective against everybody equally. Giants win.
Code Red: …..that was actually fairly spot-on. Giants win.
(5-2) Dallas @ (5-2) Philadelphia
Code Red: Hmm. The Eagles have looked great against everyone but the Saints and the…..Rai..ders…and the Cowboys have been nearly as inconsistent as the Texans. This one’s a tough call. Iggles win.
Iggins!: The Cowboys haven’t been inconsistent the last few weeks. And the Eagles haven’t beaten anybody who is legitimately good at this point. Cowboys win.
(5-2) Pittsburgh @ (6-1) Denver
Iggins!: Well after Baltimore crushed the Broncos last week I can’t very well pick the Broncos to beat a better AFC North team, can I? Steelers win.
Code Red: With any luck, the Broncos will lose this game to the Steelers, the Bears will beat the Cardinals, and the Kyle Orton-Jay Cutler comparisons will be dead for awhile. Go Steelers.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
NCAA Picks
#9 LSU @ #3
Iggins!: You know, people complain about how bad Big 10 teams are and how boring and sluggish the games are… but have you seen an SEC game? It’s like two fat molasses monsters slowly grinding on and rubbing eachother. I’m not ready to anoint the SEC as kings of football this year yet. Their big win is Bama over VaTech, but VaTech doesn’t look very good (plus they’re an ACC team). Whatever, Satan wins (
Code Red: The only difference is that based on the # of NFL draft picks and the recent bowl success, you can actually buy that the reason for SEC games being so sluggish is the high level of talent on defense, whereas the Big Ten is just a paragon of mediocrity.
#8
Code Red: Nothing’s stopping
Iggins!: Harbaugh scares me, and I remember the last time Oregon was in this position. My guess is Stanford wins.
#16 Ohio State @ #11 Penn State
Iggins!: No matter what I think of Penn State, the fact is Ohio State is Penn State Lite in every conceivable way.
Code Red: I have to agree, and it’s in
Code Red:
Iggins!: Couldn’t agree more. Beavers win.
#24 Oklahoma @ Nebraska
Iggins!: A once famed rivalry that couldn’t possibly mean less this year. But it does let me say this: any person who passes up millions of dollars for another chance at a computer generated crapshoot and all the bullshit related with college sports is a moron and deserves to get their shit broken.
Code Red: True. My normal advice for quarterbacks would be to stay for your senior year, because the extra experience improves your draft stock (for every other position I say GO). That wouldn’t have mattered for
UConn @ #5
Code Red: The Big East has two good teams. Cincy and….uggh…Wanny. Cincy keeps rolling.
Iggins!: I WANT Cinci to lose, but they won’t. Cincinnati wins.
Northwestern @ #4
Iggins!: Once again, SEC games bore me like nothing else, and even if Iowa tries to kill themselves over and over and even if they probably don’t deserve to be in the title game, at least their games are incredibly interesting and instantly memorable. Speaking of which,
Code Red: The inanity of
Duke @ North Carolina
Code Red: This is not a top ten game of the week. I don’t fucking care what the other options were. Why do I even have to pick? Did you think this was basketball season? Fuck, Duke, I guess.
Iggins!: I actually put it here just because I’m so happy for Duke. Who will win.
South Carolina @ Arkansas
Iggins!: I can hear Red fondling Ryan Mallet’s cock from miles away. And because Lane Kiffin made Spurrier pump his gas last week, I’m thinking
Code Red: His arm is throbbing with power. My god he’s glorious…and he’s in a pro style offense (DRAFTPROZPECTDROOL). Arkansas wins, Mallet throws for 4,000 yards in two and a half quarters, then decides to try his hand at cornerback and mascot.
Code Red: Todd Reesing got benched last week. Fuck you Mangino, you can go join Zook on the bench for Idiotic Coaches Who Benched the One Player That Has Consistently Saved Their Ass club. Loyalty goes both ways, you dick.
Iggins!: Yeah, I think Kansas loses here and pulls off a ridiculous upset over Texas. KANSAS WINS.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
College Football Week 10 Rankings
1. Florida (8-0)- I've been waiting for them to deliver a dominating performance equal to put them back on top, and they delivered with their 41-17 victory over Georgia. Yes, Georgia is downright awful by their usual standards this year, but Florida's struggled to put up points on lower tier SEC competition all season, so I choose to acknowledge this output. Bravo.
2. Texas (8-0)- They have absolutely dominated their opponents this year, and the 41-14 blowout of Oklahoma State should answer any questions as to whether they were merely racking up huge numbers against shoddy opponents. The path to the title game is more or less wide open for them now.
3. Alabama (8-0)- They barely survived Tennessee two weeks ago and sat idle this week, so they drop to the #3 spot while Florida and Texas ascend. It's not like it matters, since Florida and 'Bama will actually decide this shit the way these things Should be settled.
4. Boise State (8-0)- That win over Oregon looks just outstanding right now, but it looks like TCU may squeeze that at-large BCS bid away from them.
5. Oregon (7-1)- They clobbered my previous #5, USC, and they look like a malevolent entity of doom right now.
6. Cincinnati (8-0)- They've done well without Tony Pike, but they play in the shittiest conference out there (Jim Delaney and the Big Ten would like to thank them most heartily).
7. TCU (8-0)- I guess. They hammered BYU, but so did Florida State. We shall see.
8. Iowa (9-0)- Do I think they're worse than TCU? Or Boise State? Or even Oregon? It's possible. Their offense is utter garbage, yet they keep winning. I don't even think they'll lose in Columbus, as Terrelle Pryor against that defense is a nightmarish scenario, so that puts them on a collision course with Oregon in the Rose Bowl, and I'm willing to bet Oregon will own that game. TCU and Boise State are only ahead because fuck you, Iowa, that's why.
9. Georgia Tech (8-1)- They choose not to play that thing you call defense, but the triple option remains unstoppable and most likely headed for the Orange Bowl after Miami's inexplicable loss to Clemson.
10. Penn State (8-1) - Why? Because I don't want LSU in the top ten yet.
11. LSU (7-1)- There you go.
12. Houston (7-1)- My god, this is a shitty year for college football.
13. USC (6-1)- My first thought was "no, they don't deserve this." But look at what comes after. Guh.
14. Pittsburgh (7-1)- God help me, I've ranked Wannstedt in the top 15. (Breaks down, sobs uncontrollably).
15. Miami (6-2)- It was either Ohio State or Miami for this spot, I went with the one that actually has a quarterback.
16. Ohio State (6-2)- See above.
17. Oklahoma State (6-2)- They'll survive the maiming they got at the hands of Texas, but they have two tough games left- Texas Tech at home, which they should win, and then the last game of the season At Oklahoma. 10-3 looks about right.
18. Utah (7-1)- What? What the hell?
19. Arizona (5-2)- Meh. It's all flotsam at this point.
20. Oklahoma (5-3)- Best three loss team in the country?
21. Virginia Tech (5-3)- Or maybe it's these guys?
22. California (6-2)- They're back! And Jahvid Best is still one of the best runningbacks in the country. I guess that's enough.
23. Notre Dame (6-2)- Guh. The sad part is they Are a top 25 team. That says very little about them but a lot about the entire system.
24. Wisconsin (6-2)- Wooot. Go Big Ten.
25. Temple (6-2)- Bowl eligible for the first time since 1979 deserves at least a one week spot in the rankings.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Bears Beat Browns 30-6...And Yet..
Good-
Devin Hester- He's averaging over 88 yards receiving over the last three games. He's on pace for a 1,000+ yd, 7 td season. That's certainly more than anyone expected of him, but I expect him to finish with even more than that given his progression over the last three games. Earl Bennett and Johnny Knox have done a fine job making themselves into respectable threats as well, but Devin is (get this) a number one receiver.
Jay Cutler?- He had a pretty pedestrian game by his standards, but he managed 225 yards and moved the ball effectively despite being harassed all day...by Cleveland. Aggh.
The Defense- Yeah, I'm still mad at them for last week. Yeah, it's Cleveland, and at this point Notre Dame's defense could hold them to 6 points. But whatever, they forced turnovers and gave up just 6 points, so here's their damn bone. But f*&k you F*&kers raw for the Bengals game.
The Bad-
The Offensive Line- The sight of Cutler bleeding from his jaw after a bone jarring hit from Shaun Rogers pretty much sums up the effor the offensive line has given this year. Well, that and Matt Forte averaging 3.5 ypc against one of the worst run defenses in the league. Leave it to the Bears to finally acquire a franchise quarterback and have nothing but has-beens, cast-offs, and an unproven draft pick (who, actually, is probably the best they have out there right now) to guard him. Cutler's going to get killed. He's been sacked 15 fucking times. That's on pace for a 33 sack season, and unless you're David Carr those numbers should absolutely terrify you. I heard a completely overhaul of the offensive line proposed, with Williams switching to left tackle (he hasn't looked terrible and it is the position they drafted him to play), Beekman at left guard, Kreutz and Garza staying put, and Shaffer taking over at right tackle. I'd try it because Pace is absolutely worthless and what else can you do? God damnit. It's sad that on a team actually loaded with skill position talent (who saw that coming?) the Bears can't get the most fundamental part of the offense right.
I don't know. I'm still angry after a 45-10 maiming at the hands of the Bengals. Nothing about yesterday really gave me any comfort. Am I alone in this? They get the Cardinals at home this week, and 5 of their next 7 overall are in Soldier Field. It goes without saying they need to take all five to have a realistic shot at the playoffs.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
NFL Power Rankings
1. (5-0) New Orleans Saints
2. (5-0) Indianapolis Colts
3. (6-0) Minnesota Vikings
4. (6-0) Denver Broncos
The 4 unbeatens stay at the top. The Saints and Colts are legitimately incredible.
5. (4-1) Atlanta Falcons
6. (5-1) New York Giants
7. (4-2) New England Patriots
8. (4-2) Cincinnati Bengals
9. (3-2) Chicago Bears
10. (4-2) Pittsburgh Steelers
The Giants showed enough weakness to deserve falling behind Atlanta
here. The Pats looked great against terrible competition, but they've
been good enough to warrant being placed over the next two. Isn't it sad
that even though the Bears are 3-2 you have to put them in the top 10?
11. (3-3) Baltimore Ravens
12. (3-2) Philadelphia Eagles
13. (3-2) San Francisco 49ers
14. (3-2) Green Bay Packers
15. (3-2) Arizona Cardinals
16. (2-3) Miami Dolphins
17. (3-3) New York Jets
Ugh. What a clusterfuck. I can't punish Baltimore too severely for
their losses up to this point. And they certainly won't be behind two
teams who just lost extremely embarrassing games. The Packers
and Cardinals are wild cards at this point; they could be good, bad,
terrible, or great depending on the day. The Jets have lost against
bad competition too much, so they have to fall behind Miami.
18. (2-3) San Diego Chargers
19. (3-2) Dallas Cowboys
20. (3-3) Jacksonville Jaguars
21. (3-3) Houston Texans
22. (2-3) Carolina Panthers
23. (2-4) Seattle Seahawks
This is the rest of the teams who won't make the playoffs, but who also won't manage to get a top 10 pick. Nothing spectacular here, just mediocrity.
24. (1-5) Kansas City Chiefs
25. (1-5) Detroit Lions
26. (2-4) Washington Redskins
27. (2-4) Oakland Raiders
28. (2-4) Buffalo Bills
I know, two 1-5 teams are above three 2-4 teams. But those 2-4 teams are absolutely fucking terrible. That they got 2 wins is a disgusting abnormality that I do not wish to talk about.
29. (0-6) Tampa Bay Buccaneers
30. (0-6) Tennessee Titans
31. (1-5) Cleveland Browns
32. (0-6) St. Louis Rams
I really don't want to waste words on this pile of shit.
Week 8 NCAA Picks
Iggins!: Wow finally Ohio State got exposed last week against a Purdue team who was much better than their record indicated. I don’t think this will turn OSUs season around but they can beat
Code Red: I agree Purdue was better than their record indicated. I also agree Terrelle Pryor is a really shitty quarterback. You didn’t say that? Oh. Terrelle Pryor is a really shitty quarterback.
South Florida @ #20
Code Red: Wanny sucks, and USF actually looked decent until the fourth quarter against Cinci. USF wins.
Iggins!: Yeah, I can’t imagine Pitt winning this game. USF wins.
UConn @ #23 West Virginia
Iggins!: This could be one of those rally games considering the stabbing death of UConns starting corner, but I think WVU will be good enough to win.
Code Red: I tell you to pick the top ten games of the week and you give me UConn vs.
Tennessee @ #2 Alabama
Code Red: Wow! A match up of two absolutely contemptible coaches! One’s a great coach known for ruthless efficiency and blinding greed. The other just talks a lot. Saban wins.
Iggins!: Kiffykins got a “big” win last week (and considering that “big” win was over an unranked Georgia team, methinks Tennessee is wishing for a Fulmer renaissance) but the pure evil of Saban can’t be beaten by the adorable likes of Kiffykins. Alabama wins.
#13 Penn State @ Michigan
Iggins!:
Code Red:
Oklahoma @ #25 Kansas
Code Red: I can’t tell if
Iggins!: Kansas managed to lose to Colorado last week. And before that they almost lost to Iowa State. So yeah, Sooners win.
Boston College @ Notre Dame
Iggins!: Sigh. You have 3 chances at a TD inside the 5 late in the game and can’t get it done? Jesus is pissed. But even that can’t lose to a team whose QB managed a below zero passer rating. Notre Dame wins.
Code Red: You give me Wanny vs.
Iggins!: I know, but seriously, check out the schedule. This week has no good games. The others we could have picked would have been too fuckin easy.
#6 Iowa @ Michigan State
Code Red: I realize you’re worried about this one, my friend. Perhaps you should be. OSU can’t get out of its own way, and
Iggins!: I’ve become much less worried each day about this game. I mean, you could say Iowa might overlook MSU, but if you’ve watched any Iowa game this year it seems like they’ve overlooked EVERYBODY and then dominated the 2nd half. The scary thing is there isn’t a game left on the schedule that freaks me out now. Iowa wins.
#8 TCU @ #16 BYU
Iggins!: The great equalizer, this game will stop a Mountain West team from being in the BCS. BYU wins.
Code Red: Indeed. BYU.
Oregon State @ #7 USC
Code Red: If USC makes it unscathed through
Iggins!: Oregon State is USC kryptonite, and they do this every year. They have a rough out of conference time and then in the Pac-10 they have some magical run to almost win the title. Oregon State wins.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Jay Cutler Extended Through 2013

Not sure I like this guy's attitude. Tom Brady would totally have worn a tux to sign his contract.
While some meatheads may be screaming this is a terrible idea, this is a sound financial move by Jerry Angelo. God knows it wouldn't really surprise me to see the team trade so much to get their franchise quarterback and then somehow botch re-signing him and end up without him. The two extension years are supposedly worth about 30 million total. That's about right for his performance compared to the other quarterbacks (Roethlisberger, Rodgers, Manning, Rivers) pulling down that kind of money in his age group. The $20 million in guaranteed money really isn't that high, and it was a good move to get him signed so that the money can begin applying to this year's cap room, while the team has plenty to spare. Nice work, Jerry.
Week 8 College Rankings
#1 Florida 23, Arkansas 20- I predicted Arkansas would scare them, and I was right as always. Right now Florida's offense just isn't in gear, and it's got very little to do with Tebow being "off" as he was their only highlight Saturday. The playcalling is uninspired and it's going to get them killed against Alabama. Also, my man crush on Ryan Mallett (now that he's free of Michigan) goes on unabated. Watch out for Petrino's boys next year.
#2 Texas 16, #15 Oklahoma 13- I usually say that unless you're a quarterback (where the experience always helps) you should jump to the NFL as soon as you're certain to go in the second round. You can always go back and get the degree later if things don't pan out and it's that important to you. I'm now revising that in Sam Bradfords case to "I don't care what position you play, take the money, stupid." Poor kid. God only knows where his draft stock is now.
#12 Georgia Tech 28, #5 Virginia Tech 23- Damn, sometimes I wish I had the conviction to run with my hunches. My love of the triple option once more proves well grounded, as Georgia Tech rings up 28 on VT's defense while rushing for 309 yards and completing ONE pass.
Purdue 26, #6 Ohio State 18- This is just flat out embarassing for Ohio State. Terrell Pryor's complete regression can't even be denied at this point. Tressel cannot coach a quarterback to save his life. Krenzel more or less coached himself and Troy Smith was just better than Pryor at using his athleticism to make plays.
#7 USC 34, #22 Notre Dame 27- This isn't really a surprise. It's just funny. And Iggins! is wrong, yet again.
Colorado 34, #18 Kansas 30- After almost getting upset by Iowa State, Kansas went ahead and sealed the deal against Colorado.
Texas Tech 31, #19 Nebraska 10- This shouldn't be shocking, as Mike Leach's teams are usually capable of upsetting anyone at anytime, but the margin of victory is a bit surprising. Just a complete meltdown by Nebraska.
Now, on with the new rankings (and it's total chaos as usual)-
#1 Alabama, 7-0 (+2)- God I hate Nick Saban. I hate him so much that I sold some of my excess hatred to Dolphins fans after 2006 when their natural apathy towards football left them devoid of the necessary hatred they should have felt after Saban abandoned them. However, anyone that's watched Alabama, Florida, and Texas the last few weeks can tell who is playing the best of the three right now, and while I hope Florida closes the gap soon, it's now Alabama's to lose.
#2 Florida, 6-0 (-1)- I've said most of my thoughts already. I like Florida and I have since the Spurrier days. I'd like to see them get back to their dominant form and put Saban to bed, but I have my doubts.
#3 Texas, 6-0 (-1)- Another sketchy top three team, they escaped by the skin of their teeth against a demoralized Oklahoma team that lost Bradford for a second time. Their biggest test will be Oklahoma State in two weeks.
#4 Boise State, 6-0 (-)- A close win over Tulsa on the road keeps them in the top 5.
#5 USC, 5-1 (+2)- They get Oregon State and Oregon back-to-back the next two weeks. My esteemed colleague bet me they'd lose both. You bet your ass I took the money. USC with three regular season losses? Not happening.
#6 Oklahoma State, 5-1 (+2)- This is wayyy overranking them (AP has them at 14), but who cares? Outside of one loss to a pretty good Houston team they've played well. I think they have a hell of a shot of a taking down Texas.
#7 Cincinnati, 6-0 (+2)- I still don't like ranking a Big East team this high, but they won't just go away.
#8 Iowa, 7-0 (+2)- I'd actually rank them ahead of OK State and Cincy, but I don't want to. I'm going to make them earn every single promotion.
#9 Miami, 5-1 (+4)- They still have a cake schedule the rest of the way, so that makes them my favorite in the three way race to the ACC Championship game between them, GT, and VT.
#10 Georgia Tech, 6-1 (+2)- VIVA L'OPTION TRIPLE!
#11 TCU, 6-0 (-)- I still think they lose to BYU this week.
#12 Penn State, 6-1 (+2)- God only knows if they're any good at all. The only good team they've faced utterly depantsed them.
#13 Virginia Tech, 5-2 (-8)- They get a nice bye week to stew over the loss to GT that ended their national title dreams.
#14 Oregon, 5-1 (+2)- They might beat USC. Oregon State won't. I'll still win.
#15 LSU, 5-1 (+2)- They still don't have an offense, but things are so bleak that they really are a top 15 team.
#16 BYU, 6-1 (+4)- They'll jump after beating the Horned Frogs.
#17 Houston, 5-1 (NR)- The loss to UTEP has been long since forgotten while the win over Oklahoma State looks better and better.
#18 Ohio State, 5-2 (-12)- I guess I can't drop them out completely yet, but holy shit is that offense bad.
#19 Texas Tech, 5-2 (NR)- They earn Nebraska's spot by thoroughly raping them. RED RAIDERS! YAR!
Guh. I'm just gonna list 20-25 without comment because chances are at least 80% of them will be changed by next week and the whole college landscape plummets after #13 or so.
#20 Oregon State, 4-2 (+5)
#21 West Virginia, 5-1 (NR)
#22 Central Michigan, 6-1 (+2)
#23 South Carolina, 5-2 (-2)
#24 Kansas, 5-1 (-6)
#25 South Florida, 5-1 (-2)
Monday, October 19, 2009
Breaking Down the Breakdown
Well there's my take. This was a tough loss, but it was one of the one's that I had rationalized as possible and not necessarily devastating. Lovie always advocates looking at a 16 game schedule as 4 quarters. If the Bears can rally and go 3-1 in this quarter just like they did in the first quarter (and its certainly possible), this team will be set up well for the stretch run.