Detroit @ Green Bay
Code Red: Detroit is better than they have been the last two years. Tough opening slate, though. Sadly, they'll drop to 0-4 after the Packers win, and Packers fans can go back to believing their own hype for a week.
Iggins!: HA! The Packers are 2-1. It is a good day. Unfortunately they won’t lose this game, Packers win.
Code Red: We’d just like to reiterate at this point that Green Bay is in second place. Behind the Bears. Who beat Green Bay.
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Iggins!: This will be a very close game. Cincinnati is worse than last year and Cleveland is better. Still, until the Bengals play Pitt I won’t bet against them in the AFC North. Bengals win.
Code Red: Indeed. Not even Carson Palmer’s tattered and ragged arm can lose this game. Bengals win (weeps once more for the downfall of Carson Palmer’s armcock).
Denver @ Tennesee
Code Red: Tennesee is just a much more balanced team all around, and the Broncos are just 3-10 in their last 13 games. Titans win, and I laugh heartily.
Iggins!: Have I ever picked against Vince Young? Seriously? Titans win.
Carolina @ New Orleans
Iggins!: Sean Payton walks into a bar. Shoots his kicker. Fin. Saints win.
Code Red: Carolina truly blows. Saints win.
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh
Code Red: I think Pittsburgh's defense is better than Baltimore's, and Flacco has sucked against every team that isn't Cleveland. He'll be their downfall against the Steelers, a team he's 1-4 against (including playoffs). Steelers win.
Iggins!: The Ravens haven’t figured out that they’re a running team yet, and they insist on throwing the ball 40 times a game. Until they cut that shit out they can’t beat the Steelers. Pitt wins.
NY Jets @ Buffalo
Iggins!: God Buffalo sucks. I expect 3 INTs from Sanchez this game but the Jets will still win by 20 because the Bills suck that hard. Jets win.
Code Red: Agreed. The most important thing is that Mirerez needs to have a bad game. Jets win, hopefully despite an awful Mirerez game.
Seattle @ St. Louis
Code Red: I do not believe in Seattle at all. Actually, I don't believe they should allow football west of the Mississippi this year, with the exception perhaps of Kansas City and the Chargers once they begin their annual late season run. With that said, the Rams win two in a row because why not?
Iggins!: After week 3 in the season normally you know what you’ve got in almost every NFL team. I still have no fucking idea if any of these NFC West teams are good, mediocre, or really shitty. I will pick Seattle because the Rams can’t be good damnit. Seattle wins.
Code Red: I agree you can’t tell if they’re mediocre or shitty, but I think you’d be safe in saying none of them are good.
San Francisco @ Atlanta
Iggins!: So I just realized that the 49ers have never actually been good under Singletary. They’ve somehow convinced ESPN that they’re good. Unfortunately for them, they are actually terrible. Falcons win.
Code Red: But he rallied them to 7-9! And valiantly led them to 8-8! FIYUR AND PASHUN. Falcons win.
Houston @ Oakland
Code Red: Well, Houston had better win this game.
Iggins!: Bad game last week for Houston. The numbers looked good, they just couldn’t punch it in on a few occasions and it cost them big time. No way they lose here though, Texans win.
Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Iggins!: So this year the Jaguars have transferred their unpredictability to the Seahawks, and have decided that they are reliably awful. Colts win.
Code Red: But they have Trent Edwards now, so that..should fix nothing. At all. Colts win.
Washington @ Philadelphia
Code Red: I don't care that Philadelphia looks like (and is) a much better team. I love Donovan McNabb, and Philly deserves great pain and suffering. Skins win.
Iggins!: Philly is not a good team, and once they run into a good defense Vick will start getting booed. Unfortunately for the Skins, they don’t have a good defense. Eagles win.
Arizona @ San Diego
Iggins!: San Diego has been disappointing but they don’t have it in them to lose to a team as awful as the Cardinals. Chargers win.
Code Red: Derek Anderson= Less mobile young Jake Plummer. Chargers win.
Chicago @ NY Giants
Code Red: I don't buy that the “desperate” Giants will manage to pull this one out. The Bears are better and should be desperate every fucking week to prove that their start isn't a fluke like last year's 3-1 kick off. Bears win, hopefully big for once.
Iggins!: The Giants have looked terrible the last two weeks and it wasn’t a fluke. Cutler is going to destroy them and the defense won’t allow over 10 points. Bears win big.
New England @ Miami
Iggins!: Good Monday Night games so far this year. Normally this is about the time we see the Cardinals play the Browns or something. The Dolphins will win. I think? I still don’t trust Henne at all. Oh well, go home team! Dolphins win.
Code Red: As much as I hate Chad Henne, he looked damn good against a Jets secondary that’s still above average even without Revis. The Patriots can’t even come close to “above average” in that category, so as long as the Dolphins don’t insist on sticking with the Wildcat even when it’s not working, Henne should lead them to victory. Dolphins win.