NFL Picks

Red went 6-4 yesterday, while I went 5-5 (because in my insanity I wrote that I would pick K-State and yet picked Kansas), thus furthering the blow that was the Iowa game. Losing Stanzi AND our unbeaten season AND probably the Big 10 all in one game? Goddamnit Bears you better win today. So up to this point our records are thus:

Iggins!: 73-46 Overall (NFL: 45-24, NCAA: 28-22)

Code Red: 79-40 Overall (NFL: 45-24, NCAA: 34-16)

On to the picks:

(2-5) Washington @ (4-3) Atlanta

Iggins!: Atlanta managed to make me feel even worse about their win over the Bears by getting destroyed by Dallas and then somehow hanging with New Orleans? Either way, they really needed this game. Falcons win.

Code Red: God damnit, why did the Bears lose that game? And why can’t they get a shot at the Redskins? Falcons win.

(4-3) Arizona @ (4-3) Chicago

Code Red: Oh hell. Arizona is 3-0 on the road and they actually have their shit together on offense. Things are not looking in Chicago, Ron Turner’s probably on the hot seat, Cutler’s getting molested every time he even thinks about dropping back to pass, and the run game is still shit. Oh and the secondary isn’t very good. But you all know which website you’re reading so Bears 31-28.

Iggins!: Seriously, I can’t pick against the Bears yet. Bears win.

(4-3) Baltimore @ (5-2) Cincinnati

Iggins!: Them Bengals are perty good. Bengals win.

Code Red: Like, scary good. Bengals win.

(5-3) Houston @ (7-0) Indianapolis

Code Red: Houston. It’s just crazy enough to work.

Iggins!: Or you’re just crazy. Indianapolis wins.

(3-4) Miami @ (5-2) New England

Iggins!: So the Dolphins have wins over very suspect opponents and the Patriots are perennially good. So.. I’m picking Miami. Go Wildcat Go! Miami wins.

Code Red: Moron. New England.

(4-3) Green Bay @ (0-7) Tampa Bay

Code Red: Okay, so the “playing teams that finished in the same place as you last year” thing means the Bears had to play the Falcons, the Vikings get the Panthers, and the Packers get the Bucs. Fuck. Packers win.

Iggins!: Yeah, that turned out well. Packers win.

(1-6) Kansas City @ (3-4) Jacksonville

Iggins!: Holy battle of suck, batman! I have to stop irrationally picking the Chiefs, so I’m forcibly breaking my habit. Jacksonville wins.

Code Red: Why did you think the Chiefs would be good? What led you to that conclusion? Jacksonville wins.

(3-4) Carolina @ (7-0) New Orleans

Code Red: They’re going down sometime, but it ain’t gonna be this week. Saints.

Iggins!: 16-0 bitch. Saint win.

(1-6) Detroit @ (2-5) Seattle

Iggins!: Wow this is irrelevant. Seattle wins.

Code Red: Calvin Johnson’s coming back. Detroit wins.

(1-6) Tennessee @ (3-4) San Francisco

Code Red: Iggins! started pulling out his Vince Young manlove last week, and all of that “he just wins games!” bullshit. Well this week he won’t. 49ers win.

Iggins!: Oh look, a battle of QBs who were drafted high and failed epicly! I have a sneaking suspicion that something wholly unnatural will happen in this game and Tennessee will win, causing Red to lash out in anger at me for suggesting that VY causes victory simply by being on the field.

(4-3) San Diego @ (5-3) New York Giants

Iggins!: Here we find a matchup of a team with an incompetent coaching staff but loads of talent against a team with a great coaching staff and diminishing talent. It’s hard to ignore how badly the Giants have been destroyed the last few weeks, but running tiny Darren up the middle is ineffective against everybody equally. Giants win.

Code Red: …..that was actually fairly spot-on. Giants win.

(5-2) Dallas @ (5-2) Philadelphia

Code Red: Hmm. The Eagles have looked great against everyone but the Saints and the…..Rai..ders…and the Cowboys have been nearly as inconsistent as the Texans. This one’s a tough call. Iggles win.

Iggins!: The Cowboys haven’t been inconsistent the last few weeks. And the Eagles haven’t beaten anybody who is legitimately good at this point. Cowboys win.

(5-2) Pittsburgh @ (6-1) Denver

Iggins!: Well after Baltimore crushed the Broncos last week I can’t very well pick the Broncos to beat a better AFC North team, can I? Steelers win.

Code Red: With any luck, the Broncos will lose this game to the Steelers, the Bears will beat the Cardinals, and the Kyle Orton-Jay Cutler comparisons will be dead for awhile. Go Steelers.