Friday, September 24, 2010

Prognostication Bukakke! NFL Week 3

Last week in the NFL was not all that kind as I was just 10-6 to Iggins! 11-5, but there's always room for a comeback.

Cleveland @ Baltimore
Code Red: Hey! Maybe Joe Flacco will finally not suck! Ravens win.

Iggins!: Yeah, seriously though, why did the Ravens pass the ball 40 times? Ray Rice people! Ravens win.

Tennessee @ NY Giants
Iggins!: The Tits looked badbadbad last week, and pulling Vince Young is like forcing a mental patient to watch a horror movie, but for one week I can fool myself into thinking the Tits will be okay. Titans win.

Code Red: Did you see the Giants absolute FAIL against the Colts running game? Yeah, CJ2K will murder them. Titans win.

San Francisco @ Kansas City
Code Red: Tough loss for the 49ers. I just don't see them going to 0-3. There's too much talent on defense for them to lose to KC. 49ers win.

Iggins!: Kansas City has no offense yet they are 2-0. The luck has to run out somewhere right? 49ers win.

Code Red: God dammit. I really liked that thing you did last year where you picked the Chiefs to win like 7 games and they lost all of them.

Dallas @ Houston
Iggins!: This is a really good team against a really mediocre team. And it’s the total opposite of the way it was a couple years ago. Texans win.

Code Red: The Texans beat Dallas in their first ever game. Remember those Texans? David Carr actually doesn’t thanks to all of the brain damage. I’m not sure what my point is. Texans win.

Buffalo @ New England
Code Red: Yeaaah. I know it's unlikely that Buffalo will go 0-16 this year, but I just can't imagine picking them ever. Especially not against New England. Pats win.

Iggins!: Yeah they suck big balls. New England wins.

Detroit @ Minnesota
Iggins!: Well… Favre sucks… and the Lions have looked good their first two games… plus it would be hysterical, so Lions win.

Code Red: Last week I picked the Vikings and Iggins! picked against them. And they lost. Let’s make it two for two. Vikings win (but don’t!).

Cincinnati @ Carolina
Code Red: Oh good. That smug bastard Jimmy Clausen gets to make his first start against a terrifying Bengals secondary. This should be fun to watch. Bengals win, Panthers really suck.

Iggins!: I like watching metrosexual douchebags get crushed. Bengals win.

Atlanta @ New Orleans
Iggins!: Much like how Red won’t pick the Bills, I can’t see myself picking against the Saints. Saints win.

Code Red: Yeah, despite the horrendous beatdown of a Cardinals team that’s as bad as any seen since they were led by a young Jake Plummer, I’m not jumping in with the Falcons-knob-schlobbing club. Saints win.

Pittsburgh @ Tampa Bay
Code Red: It is mildly concerning that Pittsburgh may not score a single point on offense with Charlie Batch's corpse or a gimpy Byron Leftwich at quarterback, but they'll probably still win this anyway. Steelers win.

Iggins!: Can defense carry Pittsburgh to 3-0 without Roethlisberger? Against Josh Freeman I think it certainly can. Steelers win.

Code Red: F%&k you. Freeman’s not that bad! ARMCOCK.

Washington @ St. Louis
Iggins!: Washington is pretty good, and the Rams just aren’t. Washington wins.

Code Red: Or how about Washington is pretty sorta decent, and the Rams aren’t. Skins win, but they’ll go 8-8.

Philadelphia @ Jacksonville
Code Red: I don't know that I buy this new and improved “passing” Michael Vick. But I do know that Jacksonville blows. Eagles win, unfortunately.

Iggins!: Jacksonville is the hardest team to pick in the league. One week they can beat the best team in the league and the next they could lose to the Browns by 30. I think the Eagles will win but only because I don’t know what will happen and I don’t want to lose a game to Red.

Indianapolis @ Denver
Iggins!: So a coach comes in and trades away all his best players, replacing them with mediocre players and high draft picks that aren’t working out. Coach should be fired. Do it before you’re totally buried, Denver. Colts win.

Code Red: Yeah, but now he’s got a bunch of mediocre players that buy into the system. So they’ll go 8-8 with heart and determination. Colts win.

San Diego @ Seattle
Code Red: If the Broncos can hand Seattle their ass like that, San Diego will probably have their starters on the bench by halftime. Chargers win big.

Iggins!: Yeah, week 1 was a fluke for the Hawks. Chargers win.

Oakland @ Arizona
Iggins!: Oh wow. What a shitty game. Lost in the Raiders drama is Darren McFadden, who appears to have matured into the beast we thought he would be. I like the Raiders here.

Code Red: Derek Anderson vs. Bruce Gradkowski. What a disgrace to the concept of passing. Bill Walsh just rolled over in his grave. This will be worse than watching dueling Jake Plummers. Ugh. Cardinals win.

NY Jets @ Miami
Code Red: I think Miami's defense is better than New England, and I think Rico Mirerez will revert to form this week. Dolphins win at home.

Iggins!: Yeah, Sanchez tends to have awful games followed by great ones followed by awful ones, etc., so I like Miami as well.

Code Red: RICO MIREREZ. Make it stick, asshole.

Green Bay @ Chicago
Code Red: I don't think I'm lying when I say this is the biggest Bears-Packers game of my lifetime. The Bears can prove they're actually good with a win at home against Green Bay, and I may not draw a breath until the final gun. Bears win. Please, Gods of Football?

Iggins!: This game pits what may be the second and third best NFC teams against eachother. I think the Packers are the second best but at home I think the Bears can win. Bears win.