Tuesday(?) Hoopyball Recap



-It was a long weekend for me, so the recap will span from two Fridays past to last night! The Bulls went 5-2 since Friday, January 11:

The Bulls kicked off this stretch by shellacking the Knicks. They won 108-101 but were up comfortably halfway through the fourth before they let the Knicks score a bunch of garbage time points. The game said equal things about how over their own heads the Knicks were playing to start the year and how good the Bulls can be.

Of course, the Bulls followed that up by losing by 16 points, at home, to the worst team in the West, Phoenix. I wrote about this last Monday, but it bears repeating: the Bulls simply can't take nights off. Before they could turn in lackluster efforts and be bailed out by D. Rose. Without him they need to work hard night in and night out. Luckily, it does seem like this loss kicked the Bulls into gear.

The next game came Monday against Atlanta, and you may not see a better defensive performance from a team all season. The Bulls won 97-58, broke several defensive records, and made Atlanta look like an AAU team. It certainly seemed like the beating administered by the Suns started something in this team that had been lacking for much of the season.

Next came an OT game against the Raptors in Toronto. The Bulls managed a 2 point win, but it wouldn't have ever been that close, and certainly would not have gone to overtime in the first place, if Marco Belinelli would not have taken 7 ill-advised shots down the stretch. Despite Luol Deng and Carlos Boozer both being on the floor, the Bulls ran their entire offense through Belinelli for the last 4 minutes of regulation and almost the entirety of overtime (before they got smart and gave it to Deng to finish it off). I like Belinelli, but he was out of control on this night and he didn't have his shot. I can't be sure if this was Thibs' idea or the team's, but it shouldn't have happened. Deng should have been the go-to guy.

On Friday the Bulls played their second straight overtime game, this one in Boston versus the Celtics. Deng and Boozer had great games, but Deng went down in the fourth (and hasn't played since, he's day to day) and things looked bleak. Luckily, as time was running out Marco Belinelli charged the hoop and lost the ball (there was much rage, this is not the lucky part), but it bounced straight to Kirk Hinrich who nailed a jumper with 3 seconds left to send this one into OT. Belinelli would redeem himself in OT when he hit the game winner with under 10 seconds to go as he was falling down and fading away. It was an impressive shot, and it gave the Bulls the 100-99 win.

Sadly, the Bull's three game win streak would come to an end in their third straight overtime game on Saturday against Memphis. You know it's a defensive battle when a game ends in OT and the score is 85-82. The big story out of this one, aside from another Bull home loss, was that Tom Thibodeau sat Joakim Noah for nearly the entire second half. When asked why, all he would say is that Jo knew why. Whatever happened, it seems to be over, as Jo played full minutes against Los Angeles last night, and it seemed to work, because...

The Bulls beat the Lakers last night at the UC, 95-83. The Lakers may not be a great team overall, but they do have a great offense, and holding them to 83 points is a great accomplishment, not to mention getting home wins for this team seems to be like pulling teeth. This brought the Bulls to 24-16.

University of Cincinnati Surprised to Find Itself In Classic Horror Movie Situation

CINCINNATI, OHIO (AP) The University of Cincinnati released a statement today, on behalf of its leadership and basketball program, pleading for help from other institutions, or at least some explanation as to their current, rather surreal circumstances.

"Is anybody else seeing this?!" reads the statement, "We keep going out the door of Conference USA, but... jesus it just leads right back inside! How is this possible?!"

Cincinnati left C-USA in 2005 for the Big East, a league with BCS ties and a proud basketball tradition.

"Just a few months back we were waking up to say Hi to Syracuse, Pitt, and Rutgers to throw the ol' pigskin around... then they were just gone! I mean, we thought it was strange, but then it got even weirder!"

"One day a week ago we were playing some NBA 2K13 with Villanova, then... jesus they just disappeared! We looked all over for them, but... they were gone! When we went to tell Georgetown, well, they were gone too! So was St. John's! God almost everyone was gone!"

But the worst was yet to come, apparently, as the letter's tone takes a turn for the desperate and clearly delusional.

"Then we noticed even our old buddies from C-USA, Marquette, were gone. That's when we noticed it... the Big East sign above the door... it was all beat up from what the ACC did to it when they came by a while back... but now it looked strange... warped...

it looked like it said C-USA."

Cincinnati is probably confused because the Big East has recently lost all but one of its founding members, leaving the conference with UConn, Cincinnati, and several former members of C-USA.

The letter continues, "We turned from the sign, frightened... and standing there was Tulane. Jesus it was TULANE. We thought we got away from them forever! When Louisville, Marquette, and us got out of that hellhole in '05 we thought it was over! But there it was! So we ran.

We ran for the door, through the foyer... and there they were. Houston! SMU! UCF! Memphis! Oh God they were all there. So we ran out the front door... and came right back in the back door."

The letter trails off from there, devolving into random pleas for help; "Found UConn. Can't escape. We keep trying to leave through the side door into the ACC house... but it's no use. We talked about it, and we think this is our hell. We keep reaching for an ACC hand to save us... but it never comes. Have to sign off now. Boise State made lasagna. I hear Navy will be here soon. Someone says maybe UMass too. God help us. We'll take any help. Even the Big 12! GOD SAVE US SOMEBODY PLEASE AGHHHHH!!!"

The letter devolves into random scribbling and pictures of centaurs after that. When asked for comment, all the ACC would say is "Meh" and "Once the B1G takes North Carolina and Virginia we'll probably take em both. I mean, I guess."

-AP

Conference Realignment Thoughts

So I realize now we posted naught of this: these last two weeks have been our annual "bye week(s)". It happens every year: Red and I have to take trips, finals, get swamped with work, are burnt out, and the Bears lose in depressing fashion. It all combines into us taking a week or two off to refresh, eat a lot, have something called Friendsgiving and Christmasian, and ignore the pain we feel about the Bears. We'll be back Monday! In the interim, some thoughts on realignment:


At some point we all have to admit that the "doomsday" theorists were right, don't we? Back when this whole thing started we all heard the theories of how the NCAA landscape was slowly turning into a Pangaea-esque 4 conference super-league that would leave the NCAA smoldering in its wake. Of course, when things "calmed down", everyone laughed at those peope.

"Ha!" they said, "You see, nothing is ever as bad as it first seems! You overreacting fools!"

Then everyone went back about their business. They watched whilst chuckling as the Big East tried to become the Big... Thing... adding teams from every coast imaginable (they probably offered colleges in Canada, London, Mexico, and semi-pro teams in the Congo). People got a bit more nervous when Syracuse and Pittsburgh decided they were done with the Big East.

"But that's natural," they said, "because the Big East just isn't relevant anymore. Of course this was going to happen!"

These are the same people that said realignment was done not months before. And here were two founding Big East members leaving the conference... but people still refused to accept that this thing was not over, would not be over, and will not be over until everyone has been assimilated.

But it got considerably harder to deny over the last week, didn't it? Maryland and Rutgers are now members of the B1G. Some fans are angry because they don't fit regionally. Some are angry because they don't fit athletically. Plenty are angry because Maryland was a founding member of the ACC. They say there is no loyalty anymore.

But what the hell does that even mean? Maryland (and Florida State) voted against the massive exit fee the ACC passed such a short time ago (a ridiculous $50 million) in part because the leadership of that conference had failed so mightily at cashing in on lucrative TV contracts. The conference had failed its members. Maryland felt it was riding a sinking ship.

How bad was it? Well, Maryland is literally willing to pay FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS to leave. Of course, that isn't the only factor: there is also the fact that the B1G is still, despite the dominance of the SEC and the terrible years the B1G has had the past two seasons, the most lucrative conference in the country. Lucrative enough to lure a founding member of an established power conference away from it's home. Maryland's athletic expenses are going to skyrocket! Instead of taking a "long" trip to Clemson every season, now they'll have games against Nebraska and Iowa!

Prognostication Bukkake: NCAA Week 10

NCAA:

Mrs. Code Red: 53-27

Code Red: 50-30

Iggins!: 48-32



NFL:

Code Red: 74-44

Mrs. Code Red: 73-45

Iggins!: 70-48



Total:

Mrs. Code Red: 126-72

Code Red: 124-74

Iggins!: 118-80





#12 Oklahoma @ Iowa State

Iggins!: Rhoads tends to check one big thing off his list per year; beat Texas, beat Nebraska, beat Iowa. The only thing left is beat Oklahoma. I’m taking Oklahoma to win, in the interest of staying close, but gun to my head I’d take ISU.
Code Red: You bastards are going to let Tuberville win this fucking conference, aren't you? Oklahoma wins.
Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma.



#16 Texas A&M @ #15 Mississippi State

Code Red: Starkville is a tough place to win on the road. Mississippi State wins.

Iggins!: Neither team has really beat anybody good yet, so I’ll take the home team. Mississippi State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Mississippi State.



#23 Texas @ #18 Texas Tech

Iggins!: Almost lost to Kansas, eh, Texas? And now you’re going to Lubbock. This should be painful. Texas Tech wins.

Code Red: God dammit. Texas Tech wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Texas Tech

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 9

NC State @ North Carolina

Iggins!: This is the most ACC matchup yet. NC State just tried to lose to Maryland and UNC lost to Duke, made them bowl-eligible, and tore a hole in time-space. I’ll take North Carolina to win, because lord knows the ACC requires teams who lost to Duke to beat a decent ACC team the next week.

Code Red: I don’t want to pick UNC again. They’ve cost me a lot this year. Oh, dammit. UNC wins.

Mrs. Code Red: UNC wins.

#2 Florida vs. #10 Georgia

Code Red: Florida has gotten me this far. Their defense is very good. Maybe every bit as good as Alabama’s….but that offense. When I saw they beat South Carolina 44-11 I thought “good, finally some offense”...but they had 182 total yards, and SC just imploded with turnovers. Not sure they can score enough to win this one…but they haven’t failed me yet. Florida wins.

Iggins!: Florida wins are almost entirely responsible for how far back I am right now, but… man, if Georgia wins this game they have no competition left in the East. Their remaining games are jokes. I’ll take Georgia to win because I had them winning the East to start the year.

Mrs. Code Red: Georgia wins.

#14 Texas Tech @ #3 Kansas State

Iggins!: Tommy Tuberville has this thing where he beats top 5 teams. It actually seems to be the one thing he’s good at. But I’ll take the old warlock’s magic over Tuberville’s any day. K-State wins.

Code Red: It is, indeed, part of his dark arsenal. But I’m done betting against K-State. K-State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State.

#9 USC @ Arizona

Code Red: Seems like every week we get the Arizona or the Arizona State game in here and neither of ‘em ever wins. USC wins.

Iggins!: Yeah, but they’re both top 35 teams, so they keep being in the discussion. USC wins.

Mrs. Code Red: USC wins. 

 

Ohio State @ Penn State

Iggins!: So, this is the first time these two have played since 1996, AMIRIGHT?! Hehe… anyway. How sad is it that these are two of the remaining unbeaten teams in B1G play and neither will go to the title game? So sad. Penn State wins because Braxton got run over by the Madden ambulance and OSU has no defense.

Code Red: So much hatred. Ohio State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Are you sure I can't pick “neither?” It doesn't matter anyway, right? Ohio State.

Baylor @ Iowa State

Code Red: Iowa State, as usual, put up a valiant fight in OK State before losing. But Baylor is coming on strong with that offense. Baylor wins.

Iggins!: I think iowa State is favored in this game. That is never good for ISU. Baylor wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll roll with Iowa State. 

 

#5 Notre Dame @ #8 Oklahoma

Iggins!: Notre Dame is winning games like 2001 OSU. They keep almost losing over and over again. Also, Oklahoma likes to look really great for a few weeks then get stomped. I’ll take Notre Dame to win.

Code Red: You mean 2002 Ohio State, but close enough. It ends here. Oklahoma wins.

Iggins!: …yes. Yes I did.

Mrs. Code Red: Gonna go with Notre Dame. Because I'm Catholic? (ignores all of the previous times she picked against Notre Dame).

#22 Michigan @ Nebraska

Code Red: Oh God. Don’t do it. Don’t pick Nebraska in a huge game again….Nebraska.

Iggins!: On the other side of the coin, the only reason I’m still close this year is because you can’t stop picking UNC and Nebraska. Michigan wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Michigan, although I'm getting concerned about how often I'm aligning with that loser Iggins! this week. 

 

#11 Mississippi State @ #1 Alabama

Iggins!: I want so badly to take MSU. But until they beat Bama or LSU, I can’t do it. Alabama wins.

Code Red: I’m not picking against Saban. That is a fool’s errand. Alabama wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Bama. Roll tide.

#7 Oregon State @ Washington

Code Red: Oregon State is just a damn good team. Mike Riley can coach. Oregon State wins.

Iggins!: Yup. The Civil War is going to be huge this year. Oregon State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Step 1) Pick Oregon State. 2)?????? 3) Profit. Oregon State wins.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 8

#3 Oregon @ Arizona State

Iggins!: DIE TODD GRAHAM DIE. Oregon wins.

Code Red: Why do you hate him so much? Man just wanted a better job. This is America, commie. Oregon wins.

Iggins!: Which is understandable, but when your resignation affects the lives of an entire class of students you brought in based on your lies about being fully committed, then all you give them is a text when you leave? You're a fuck.

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon.

Virginia Tech @ #19 Clemson

Code Red: Going to hope that Clemson's got all of the Clemson out of their system for the year. Clemson wins.

Iggins!: Have to take Clemson to win.

Mrs. Code Red: Clemson wins.

#24 Iowa State @ Oklahoma State

Iggins!: So many reasons ISU won’t win this game. 1) They’re ranked. Not sure why. Because they beat TCU? 2) They hate winning games they’re favored in. 3) Oklahoma State probably remembers the whole “You kept us out of the National Title Game” thing. Oklahoma State wins.

Code Red: 4) They're probably a vastly superior program to Iowa right now. Has no relevance on this game. Just like saying it to you. Oklahoma State wins, because Stillwater is a rough place for a team like Iowa State to win on the road.

Iggins!: Nuh-uh!... oh wait... shit.

Mrs. Code Red: Iowa State wins. 

 

#6 LSU @ #18 Texas A&M

Code Red: That Texas A&M defense may very well make LSU's offense look average. LSU wins.

Iggins!: Just setting up another Alabama versus other SEC team title game here, nothing to see. LSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: LSU wins.

#17 Texas Tech @ #23 TCU

Iggins!: Seems like a good spot for Texas Tech to lose after that big win against WVU. TCU wins.

Code Red: Sigh. Hate picking Tuberville, but can't help meself. Texas Tech wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Religion over science, I guess. TCU wins.

#7 South Carolina @ #2 Florida

Code Red: Have to continue to ride the horse that got me here, but I'd nay be surprised if Spurrier came out on top here. Florida.

Iggins!: Picking against Florida has caused me nothing but pain this year, and South Carolina isn't the same on the road. Florida wins.

Mrs. Code Red: South Carolina wins.

 

Nebraska @ Northwestern

Iggins!: Nebraska hasn’t looked great. Of course, neither has Northwestern, but they have looked at least as good, and they managed to beat Nebraska last season. Hoping the curse has transferred. Northwestern wins.

Code Red: I turn my back on you, Nebraska. I do it myself. Northwestern wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Uhh...Nebraska?

#4 Kansas State @ #13 West Virginia

Code Red: Please, Holgo. Right the ship! America needs you to keep your title hopes alive! WVU wins.

Iggins!: Kansas State is good. Their defense is great and their offense can put up enough to keep up with WVU. Sadly, I'll take Kansas State here.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State.

#1 Alabama @ Tennessee

Iggins!: This was a fun game last year, and Tennessee almost ruined everything for Bama (which means Tennessee is the reason for that awful title game last year… goddamn you Tennessee). Tennessee gon Tennessee. Alabama wins.

Code Red: Saban hasn't forgotten that, and this is definitely going to be a slaughter. Bama wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Alabama.

#14 Florida State @ Miami (FL)

Code Red: FSU has also hopefully gotten the FSU out of their system. FSU wins.

Iggins!: Florida State on the road against a mediocre ACC team? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. But I'm playing it safe. Florida State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Florida State, because my good friend Abby goes there, and it'd be ludicrous to roll with G-reg's boys in this one.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 7

#15 Texas vs. #13 Oklahoma:

Iggins!: Everyone looks competent against WVU’s defense, Texas, but I don’t like Landry Jones one damn bit. Grumble. Flipping coin… Texas wins.

Code Red: Texas' defense is legitimately good. Geno Smith is just at that level. They'll confuse Landry Jones into mistakes. Texas wins. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma. 

 

Wisconsin @ Purdue:

Code Red: Oh God. The awfulness. The horrible, no-good, very-bad conference. My eyeballs are bleeding as I look at this. Purdue? God. Am I really picking Purdue over Wisconsin? Purdue. The horror.

Iggins!: Wisconsin struggled against Illinois, so, I mean… Purdue wins?

Mrs. Code Red: Purdue....with a question mark?

Utah @ UCLA:

Iggins!: UCLA got all Jim Mora last week and Utah decided they would put up a pretty good fight against USC. I’ll take the Utes to win, and promptly watch Jim Mora drop 700 points.

Code Red: Utah benefitted from turnovers, mostly. I'm not confident that Utah could put up many points against Illinois. UCLA wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Utah.

#17 Stanford @ #7 Notre Dame:

Code Red: They're good. What are we going to do?! NOTRE DAME IS ACTUALLY GOOD AGAIN. WHO LET THIS HAPPEN? Notre Dame wins.

Iggins!: This needs to stop, but I can’t take Stanford here. God save us all from Touchdown Jesus. Notre Dame wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Notre Dame.

#10(!) Oregon State @ BYU:

Iggins!: Yeah, that’s the number 10 next to the Beavers there. Wow. Picking against them seems like a bad idea, so Oregon State wins.

Code Red: Except word comes in now that Sean Mannion needs shoulder surgery. That blows. BYU still looks like shit, though. Oregon State wins. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon State.

#4 Florida @ Vanderbilt:

Code Red: Oh you damned fool. Now you must pay for your stupidity. Florida wins.

Iggins!: I’m a gonna ride this here pony to death. It already died? Oh well. Vanderbilt wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Florida.

#11 USC @ Washington:

Iggins!: USC got that one weird loss out of the way, it seems. On the other hand, Washington does that to USC as well. It would be just humorous enough to see Washington win this, have victories over USC and Stanford, then not matter at all in the Pac-12 title picture. Washington wins.

Code Red: Very odd for you to gamble like this. USC wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Washington.

TCU @ Baylor:

Code Red: Nice job, Casey Pachall, costing your team a big game with your stupid suspension. Even with him back I still like Baylor's improving offense. Baylor wins. 

 

Iggins!: Paul Rhoads does that to people. Baylor wins.

Mrs. Code Red: TCU.

#3 South Carolina @ #9 LSU:

Iggins!: Can’t tell if South Carolina is that good or Georgia is that bad. Seemed like the perfect storm of good fortune for the other USC. Still, until LSU finds an offense, I’ll take South Carolina to win.

Code Red: Can't trust LSU's offense at all, and I think SC's defense is legitimately that good. South Carolina wins.

Mrs. Code Red: South Carolina.

#22 Texas A&M @ #23 Louisiana Tech

Code Red: Should be one hell of a game. About time LA Tech got some love. Have to trust A&M's defense to be slightly better in this one. TAMU wins.

 

Iggins!: Tempted very badly to take LaTech at home. Texas A&M hasn’t exactly looked great against inferior competition this season either. FINE. Let us dance the dance of risky picks this week! Louisiana Tech wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Texas A&M.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 6

#13 USC @ Utah

Iggins!: Utah has been pretty disappointing considering they were supposed to at least contend for their division title. At the beginning of the year I had Utah here, but despite Barkley’s struggles, I have to take USC to win now.

Code Red: Seems like a pretty good game for Barkley to right the ship. USC wins. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: USC wins.

#24 Northwestern @ Penn State

Code Red: Oh god, let it be NW. Fucking Illinois. I called that, remember? Gah. NW wins.

Iggins!: I’m having a hard time picking this one. Penn State has looked passable the last few games, and Northwestern just isn’t as good as 5-0 would indicate. This game frightens me too much, so I’m taking Northwestern to win.

Mrs. Code Red: Northwestern.

Arizona @ #18 Stanford

Iggins!: Really wanted to take Sark last week. Just as we said, Stanford is never as good as their wins over USC indicate, but they’re much better than Richrod. Can’t believe voters actually ranked Arizona at one point. Stanford wins.

Code Red: No defense in Arizona, and they don't seem to travel well. Stanford wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Picking against Stanford two weeks in a row would probably be folly. Stanford wins.

#4 LSU @ #10 Florida

Code Red: I could very well see Florida winning this game. They've gotten better every game, and LSU has yet to find its offensive stride. But, well, Hat. LSU wins.

Iggins!: Agreed, Hat. LSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Not sure. Better roll with the higher ranked team? LSU wins.

#17 Oklahoma @ Texas Tech

Iggins!: Oklahoma: not that great. But hell if I’m taking Tommy Tuberville. Oklahoma wins.

Code Red: Fuck Tech. Oklahoma wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma.

#5 Georgia @ #6 South Carolina

Code Red: Can only take the home team here, because these teams are very evenly matched. You can bet I'll be watching this one. South Carolina wins.

Iggins!: South Carolina is much worse than Georgia. Clowney may be the best player on the field, but the best team is definitely Georgia. Georgia wins.

Mrs. Code Red: South Carolina wins.

Miami (FL) @ #9 Notre Dame

Iggins!: UGH. Number 9?! That hurts me deep in my soul. It also hurts me that I have to take Notre Dame to win.

Code Red: We have to accept that we live in a world where Notre Dame is good again. Hopefully it won't last long? ND wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Three in a row! Gotta be bold. Miami wins.

#8 West Virginia @ #11 Texas

Code Red: You know I have to roll with Holgo here. WVU wins. God, that game last week was beautiful. 

Iggins!: Texas is grossly overrated at #11. Hopefully WVU can send them spiraling backwards into cold, hard reality. WVU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: West Virgnia.

#21 Nebraska @ #12 Ohio State

Iggins!: Ranked B1G teams. What a joke. Ohio State is exactly as mediocre as I thought they would be; the only problem is that every other member of the B1G is much worse than I thought. Ohio State’s mediocrity is better than everyone elses sub-mediocrity! OSU could go 12-0, and everyone will still thank the Gods they aren’t bowl-eligible, because 12-0 in the B1G this year is about as good as 12-0 in the Big East. Ohio State wins.

Code Red: I think Nebraska is the better team. That UCLA loss was unfortunate. Nebraska wins.

 

Mrs. Code Red: Ohio State. 

 

#23 Washington @ #2 Oregon

Code Red: Well, c'mon. Oregon wins. 

 

Iggins!: Overrating Washington now because they beat the overrated Stanford team. IT’S AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF OVERRATING. Oregon wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 5

#25 Baylor @ #9 West Virginia

Iggins!: WVU is only #9? Geno Smith and the Lords of the Air Raid are not pleased. WVU rolls.

Code Red: Man, this game would have been awesome last year. WVU wins. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: West Virginia.

#14 Ohio State @ #20 Michigan State

Code Red: Both of these teams suck. Ohio State has yet to face a real team, and has still barely won all of it’s games. That said, MSU has looked awful as well. I guess Michigan State at home. How are they still ranked?

Iggins!: This is the part where Michigan State takes all those expectations you have and shits out 7-5. Ohio State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Michigan State. 

 

#12 Texas @ Oklahoma State

Iggins!: So OK State put up 84 points on Div. 3 Polytechnical State School for the Blind/Deaf/Dumb and people said “Yeah, OK State’s gonna be fine! Then Richrod murdered them, in Stillwater, and now people are like… oh. So yeah, I don’t particularly care for the ‘horns, and I’m pretty sure they’ll lose their next three games in a row, but Texas wins this one.

Code Red: Yeah, that about sums it up. Texas wins. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: Texas. 

 

#18 Oregon State @ Arizona

Code Red: Hmm. I’m going to have to take the home team here, and probably move my record when picking against Oregon State to 0-3. Arizona wins. 

 

Iggins!: You may have realized I have a hard time picking against some teams. Notably Clemson. You may not remember that the other team I have a hard time picking against is Oregon State, and now that they have peeked their head out of the bunker and beaten Wisconsin plus UCLA I can just pick them until I can’t anymore now. Oregon State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon State. Three in a row!

So after those 4 games the schedule takes a huge dump on everybody’s chest, so these next six aren’t exactly great games. Seriously, it’s so bad Iowa vs. Minnesota is on ESPN2.

Virginia Tech vs. Cincinnati

Iggins!: Uhhh… well, if we go by common opponents, it’s Cincinnati, because they beat Pitt and all. And Tech did not. Also, Tech’s win over GaTech looks quite a bit less impressive after the fighting Triple-Options got dropped by Da U. And I whiffed by not picking Rutgers last week despite a mighty desire to do so. By the way this game is being played in Landover, MD. Odd. I’ll take Cincinnati to win.

Code Red: Wait, what? I’ll take Virginia Tech, because they already lost their shitty early season game so now they’ll roll to their Orange Bowl beatdown. 

Iggins!: That is, of course, the other possibility, since VaTech always does this. To clarify, I picked Arkansas because SEC > Big East, thus I do not want to pick against the Big East just cuz this week.

Mrs. Code Red: Cincinnati. 

 

N.C. State @ Miami (FL)

Code Red: Man, these games do suck. NC State.

 

Iggins!: It just gets worse. Sigh. Why the fuck not? Miami wins.

Mrs. Code Red: G-Reg! Miami.

#8 Stanford @ Washington

Iggins!: Stanford is ranked ahead of WVU. They always beat USC! We can’t reward them this much for that! Still, until Sark actually proves he’s going to start putting 8 and 9 win teams out there, I’ve got Stanford to win.

Code Red: I do not intend to keep agreeing with you in such a fashion. Stanford wins. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: Washington.

Arizona State @ California

Code Red: Hmm. AZ State has looked very good, when they look good. Does that make sense? Cal doesn’t look good, ever. AZ State wins. 

 

Iggins!: I hate Todd Graham so goddamned much. So this pains me. ASU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Arizona State. 

 

Wisconsin @ #22 Nebraska

Iggins!: They need to unrank all the B1G teams. Nebraska wins?

Code Red: I have to keep riding Nebraska as my one hope for a somewhat mildly respectable B1G team. Damn you, UCLA! Nebraska wins. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: Nebraska. Wisconsin just sucks.

Arkansas @ Texas A&M (see how I avoided Iowa-Minnesota there? EH?!)

Code Red: You took the coward’s road. I can’t see any way Arkansas avoids just completely unraveling at this point. By the way, did you see John L. Smith owes $25 million or something in debt? How the hell…? Texas A&M wins. 

 

Iggins!: He says real estate ventures. He also says they were profitable at one point. He is also completely and utterly fucking insane. Texas A&M wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Texas A&M.

NCAA Week 4 Prognostication Bukakke

NCAA

Code Red: 12-8

Iggins!: 11-9

Mrs. Code Red: 9-11

NFL

Code Red: 16-16

Mrs. Code Red: 16-16

Iggins!: 14-18

Overall

Code Red: 28-24

Mrs. Code Red: 25-27

Iggins!: 25-27

Oregon State @ #19 UCLA

Iggins!: With Wisconsin barely beating UNI and Utah State, it’s hard to say how good Oregon State is. Of course, it’s equally difficult to assess how good that UCLA win over Nebraska was because B1G teams tend to lose strange games when they travel to the west coast. I’ll take UCLA to win because I don’t have a lot of faith that OSU is suddenly good.

Code Red: UCLA is ranked? God this is a wasteland. UCLA wins. Or something. Wait, didn’t I say UCLA would go to a bowl game or something? HA! I’m RIGHT ABOUT UCLA!

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon State. Worked for me last time. 

 

#2 LSU @ Auburn

Code Red: Gene Chizik is so lucky Cam preferred Auburn’s cash to Mississippi State’s. LSU wins.

Iggins!: There must have been something additional involved. Like free pizza for life or something. LSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: LSU.

#18 Michigan @ #11 Notre Dame

Iggins!: Having people talking national title for Notre Dame is making me physically ill, but Michigan has looked just terrible. Notre Dame wins.

Code Red: They’re not doing that, are they? TELL ME THEY’RE NOT DOING THAT. Notre Dame wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Notre Dame. 

 

Rutgers @ Arkansas

Code Red: Woof. Must be a shitty week. Arkansas I suppose. 

 

Iggins!: Pretty damn slim pickings. I’ll take Arkansas in an extremely tepid fashion, just because it’s Big East vs. SEC. But I can definitely see Rutgers beating the snot out of the Razorbacks.

Mrs. Code Red: Arkansas? 

 

#15 Kansas State @ #6 Oklahoma

Iggins!: Oklahoma is #6, and that’s kind of sad. They looked poor against UTEP, and it’s hard to discern how good a team is by watching them beat Florida A&M. I’ll go out on a limb and take Kansas State to win.

Code Red: Well, that makes this one easy for me. Oklahoma wins.

 

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma. 

 

#10 Clemson @ #4 Florida State

Code Red: Can’t pick against FSU at home. Florida State wins. 

Iggins!: Well, you know I’m not picking against Clemson here. Clemson wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Florida State. I don't trust Clemson.

Utah @ Arizona State

Iggins!: I like Utah, but ASU has been surprisingly stout. Meh, I hate Todd Graham, so Utah wins.

Code Red: I was pretty impressed with ASU, and that’s a hellish place to play (devil pun not intended). AZ State wins. 

 

Iggins!: I think that was intended.

Mrs. Code Red: Arizona State

#22 Arizona @ #3 Oregon

Code Red: Arizona’s defense has looked…porous. Oregon’s offense is wont to exploit such things. Oregon wins.

 

Iggins!: Richrod is ranked. Goddamnit. Oregon wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon.

BYU @ #24 Boise State

Iggins!: I’ll take Boise State at home here, but this could go either way. Losing to any B1G team this season is pretty much admitting you’re irrelevant.

Code Red: BYU is underwhelming as well. Boise State wins.

 

Mrs. Code Red: Boise State

Missouri @ #7 South Carolina

Code Red: Defense will be way too stout for Mizzou to handle. South Carolina wins. 

 

Iggins!: Missouri is going to take their lumps this year. South Carolina wins.

Mrs. Code Red: South Carolina.

Prognostication Bukakke NCAA Week 3.

#1 Alabama @ Arkansas

Iggins!: It would be the most John L. Smith thing in the world to beat Alabama after losing to Louisiana-Monroe, but Tyler Wilson may be out of this one. Alabama wins.

Code Red: Last season I lost the progkakke because I picked against Nick Saban. I did it again in week one, and suffered once more. Never. Again. Alabama wins.

 

Mrs. Code Red: Alabama. Roll tide. 

 

North Carolina @ #19 Louisville

Code Red: Hmm. Louisville is ranked? This is a tough call. UNC just lost to Wake. Louisville is an overachiever with a mediocre offense. I choose UNC.

Iggins!: Good, we disagree on something this week! Shouldn’t that UNC just lost to Wake be a bright red, flashing deterrent? Because if Louisville is an overachiever with a mediocre offense, what does that make Wake Forest? You need to stop this UNC obsession while you’re still able. Louisville wins.

Mrs. Code Red: North...Carolina? I don't know. I tend to take state schools when I know nothing about either school, because, hey, they've got more money, right?

#18 Florida @ #23 Tennessee

Iggins!: Oh joy. Two ranked teams who should not be ranked. Take the home team? Tennessee wins.

Code Red: Fuck, I don’t know. Honor bound, still. Florida, I guess. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: Florida's been sucking lately, right? Tennessee.

Code Red: Only for about three years now. 

 

Arizona State @ Missouri

Code Red: That Arizona State offense was very impressive against Illinois, who did, for what it’s worth, have the #7 defense in the country last year. But they’re traveling east for this one, and Missouri’s offense is also explosive. Mizzou wins. 

 

Iggins!: Yup, just as disastrous as a B1G team heading west is a Pac-12 team heading east. Mizzou takes it.

Mrs. Code Red: Mizzou.

#2 USC @ #21 Stanford

Iggins!: USC has looked a little shaky. I’d imagine this game gets them back on track. USC wins.

Code Red: They’ve looked sort of like a #1 team that’s not coached by Nick Saban, that’ll dick around with shitty teams because they know they don’t have to work. I’d assume they’ll right the ship in conference play. USC wins. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: USC.

#20 Notre Dame @ #10 Michigan State

Code Red: Oh great. This fucking game. I never pick it right. I guess Notre Dame because they’re more experienced? Enjoy your win now, MSU.

Iggins!: Your picks seem unusually risk-takey this week? I thought we were going to agree on everything! I’ve got Michigan State by a lot.

Mrs. Code Red: Michigan State.

#25 BYU @ Utah

Iggins!: Utah got upset last week by Utah State. I don’t see a team as talented as Utah losing to their two in-state rivals two weeks in a row. Utah wins.

Code Red: But they just lost their quarterback. I mean, Jordan Wynn injured his shoulder so many times he just quit. I have to take BYU here.

 

Iggins!: Are we acting like losing Jordan Wynn is an issue here? Utah always plays without Jordan Wynn! I imagine having him on the field at this point just confuses them.

Mrs. Code Red: BYU.

Utah State @ Wisconsin

Code Red: God the Big Ten is so awful. I can’t see Wisconsin losing two in a row, though. Badgers win, still fucked. 

Iggins!: This Utah State team is tricky. They pulled a lot of near-upsets last year and I like Chuckie Keeton. Plus Wisconsin sucked against NIU, then got beaten by Oregon State. I’ll risk it and take Utah State to win.

Mrs. Code Red: Wisconsin. 

 

Virginia @ Georgia Tech

Iggins!: Were it not for one of the worst performances by an NCAA kicker ever, Virginia would have lost to Penn State. That’s enough for me to say Georgia Tech wins.

Code Red: This is true. Georgia Tech. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: Georgia Tech.

Wake Forest @ #5 Florida State

Code Red: UNC is one thing, Wake. This is a whole different animal. Florida State wins. 

 

Iggins!: Wake was the team that first reminded the country that FSU was still FSU last year. I’ll take FSU to win but this is a tricky game.

Mrs. Code Red: Florida State.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 2

The schedule is still fairly light this early in the season, so none of these are earth shattering matchups. That said, tradition demands we start them both the same week, so here are the college picks:

Also, the Mrs., who still hates college football, had this to say before her picks:  "Here are my selections. I don't feel like giving any sort of explanation for them, so I won't. Maybe next week."

Miami (FL) @ #22 Kansas State
Iggins!: K-State looked about as blah as you possibly can in a 51-9 win (35 of those 51 points came in the fourth quarter), but there’s absolutely no way Miami wins this here. Their team is in disarray, has a new QB, is just waiting for a massive NCAA sanction hammer, and is from the ACC. K-State wins.

Code Red: Miami is a disaster and I just don’t know how they’re going to get out of it. I also don’t care. K-State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State.

#19 Oklahoma State @ Arizona
Code Red: Okay. 84 points is impressive regardless of opponent. OK State reloads fast, generally. They can handle an inexperienced AZ squad. OK State.

Iggins!: Richrod put up 600 yards of offense last week. And scored 17 points. What the hell? Oklahoma State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: OK State.

Auburn @ Mississippi State
Iggins!: Jesus, you pronounce Kiehl like Kyle? That name is ridiculous. Auburn put up a solid fight against Clemson. Of course, Clemson didn’t have Sammy Watkins, and Andre Ellington demolished them on the ground. Auburn is not good. Gene Chizik is not good. Mississippi State wins.

Code Red: I always feel uncomfortable picking Miss. State to win a game that may require them to score at least 10 points. I will do so anyway. MSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Auburn.

North Carolina @ Wake Forest
Code Red: Damn you, week 2. These games suck. I’ll take UNC because I think that’s what I did when we predicted this division. UNC. They have a QB I’ve heard of.

Iggins!: I believe you did, and I picked Wake here. I’m not a UNC believer this season, and I WANT to believe in Wake. That is foolish, because they are Wake Forest, but what the hell? Wake Forest wins.

Mrs. Code Red: UNC.

#1 USC @ Syracuse
Iggins!: They say this is a neutral field, but since they’re playing in New York I’m going to go ahead and say this is a home game for ‘Cuse. Impressive comeback by the Orange last week, but in the end it fell short just like Syracuse seems to have done since McNabb left. USC destroys.

Code Red: USC murders everything in sight.

Mrs. Code Red: USC
Iowa State at Iowa
Code Red: Iowa State won last year. They looked more impressive last week. Iowa may not be very good at all. I thoroughly enjoy when Iowa State beats Iowa. But they’re in Kinnick and this is clearly just a trap. Iowa wins.

Iggins!: So scared. So very, very scared. Iowa has retooled their defense for just such an occasion as this. They’re good against running QBs who run the spread now, and worse against the offenses they traditionally dominate (pro-style). So in Kinnick, yeah, Iowa should get this win here easily. But their red zone offense was atrocious last week, Greg Davis is a moron who has no idea how to call passes downfield, and Iowa ran Damon Bullock like he was Shonn fucking Greene. If Iowa lost last year, they should lose this year, but fuck it. I’m not picking Iowa State to beat Iowa in Iowa City. PLEASE GOD WIN HAWKEYES.

Mrs. Code Red: Iowa.

#23 Florida @ Texas A&M
Iggins!: Somehow, Florida is ranked. God I hate these polls. Driskel won the starting job last week by… going 10/16 for 116 yards and a TD against Bowling Green. Huh. At least the Florida run game looked solid. Texas A&M got hurricaned out of their opener last week, so they get to debut at home against the Gators. So long as the A&M run game can move the ball on the Florida defense the Aggies should get the win here at home.

Code Red: Yeah…the ranked Florida think is a bit premature. I don’t even think they’re going to win but I picked them for some reason before the season so I’m honor bound. Florida wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Texas A&M

#12 Wisconsin @ Oregon State
Code Red: Also seems like it could be a trap, since that’s a tough road trip and my heart tells me Oregon State’s not as bad as it has been the last two years. Still, I’m going to assume UNI’s comeback rid Wisconsin of their complacency. Wisconsin wins.

Iggins!: UNI is a good team, and they tend to put up a great fight against BCS conference opponents, plus Wisconsin tends to almost lose to a terrible team in their non-conference schedule every year. They should mop the floor with OSU. Wisconsin wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon State

Code Red: Jesus. I wish she'd given an explanation for that one, at least.

#17 Nebraska @ UCLA
Iggins!: UCLA had three extra points blocked last week. They also let Rice run all over them for the first two quarters before tightening up in the second half. I’m not sure this whole “Taylor Martinez Passing Effectively” thing is going to continue, but even if it doesn’t Nebraska should own UCLA’s shit. Nebraska wins.

Code Red: I’m riding Nebraska because that’s what I do, but there’s no way in hell Taylor Martinez will keep passing like that. Nebraska wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Nebraska.

Illinois @ Arizona State
Code Red: Illinois did nothing last week to show me they were anything more than the great defensive team with a weak offense that they were last year. That team would lose in Arizona because Big Ten teams always do, so I’ll take AZ State.

Iggins!: Big Ten team in the desert? Instafail, especially considering Illinois’ shortcomings. AZ State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: AZ State.

College Previewkakke: BCS Predictions and JESUS FOOTBALL TONIGHT



So here we are, my friends. Both at the end of this series of college football previews and at the end of the worst sports drought all year: the football offseason. Tonight, South Carolina plays at Vanderbilt. Tonight, Mike Leach makes his return against a bunch of mormons. Tonight, my friends, there is football.

So here you go, Red and mine's predictions for the BCS bowl games:

Orange Bowl:

Iggins!: Clemson vs. USF
Code Red: Virginia Tech vs. Shitty Big East Champion

-Thank you for the specifics, Red. The only difference here is in our predicted ACC Champs.

Fiesta Bowl:

Iggins!: West Virginia vs. Wisconsin
Code Red: Oklahoma vs. Nebraska

-So we have the B1G #2 in this game vs... well, Red picked West Virginia to win the Big 12 but then put them in a bowl game as an at large. WAFFLER.

Sugar:

Iggins!: Georgia vs. Oklahoma
Code Red: LSU vs. West Virginia

-Once again, I contend Red is a flip-flopper. SEC Championship Game loser vs. Big 12 #2 here.

Rose Bowl:

Iggins!: Michigan State vs. USC
Code Red: Wisconsin vs. Oregon

-B1G Champ vs. Pac 12 #2 in the Rose it looks like. All of these pairings seem too likely. Hopefully Louisiana Tech goes 12-0 and screws this thing up.

National Title Game:

Iggins!: LSU vs. Oregon
Code Red: Georgia vs. USC

-And we both agree that the SEC champ will face the Pac 12 champ in the title game.


Well, that's it boys and girls. Football starts tonight; our national crisis has ended. I'm gonna go cook some bratwurst and yell at my TV until it starts.

College Previewkakke: B1G Legends Division

And here we find ourselves on the final leg of our NCAA Preview journey. The B1G Legends division (Jesus that’s grating to type) will be the most entertaining division to watch this season behind the SEC West. Three teams have a legitimate shot at winning the division, two could contend or turn into a dumpster fire, and Minnesota, like every year, has a fanbase that thinks they’ll finally turn it around this season.


Remember when the ACC intentionally put FSU and Miami in different divisions because they were expected to play for the ACC Championship every year and draw huge ratings? No? Maybe that’s because it still hasn’t happened. Remember when the B1G put OSU and Michigan in different divisions, then had a huge debate over whether they were going to move the protected OSU-Michigan game away from the last game of the season because they didn’t want them playing two weeks in a row? No?

Probably because neither OSU or Michigan made it to the inaugural game, and it doesn’t look like either will this year, again (yes, OSU is on probation, but they wouldn’t have made it last year anyway, and I would wager they won’t have a better record than Wiscy this year either). Once again, the Legends division favorite is Sparty, which leads me all the way back to the B1G Leaders division preview. Here we sit, in what is supposedly a “changing” B1G, and the two teams who may play for the B1G Championship two years in a row both run pro style offenses. Certainly, we can have a lengthy discussion about whether we should change the definition of “pro-style”, but we know what it means. Hard running, good blocking, 4-3 defense, acceptable game-managing QB.

It may not be as exciting as the AIR RAID, and it may not be different or new, like a zone read. But there is something comforting in having the pro-style formation live on and win titles in the B1G. So with that, who wins this year? Here are my 100% accurate predictions:

College Previewkakke: B1G Leaders Division Preview



Finally we have arrived at the B1G (isn’t that easier to digest than “Big 10+2-Penn State and Ohio State kind of”?), and, by default, we have to start in the division with two teams who will not matter at all to anybody ever this season (or, in PSU’s case, for many years into the future).

So what the hell happened to the B1G? Where did the league known for infinitely replaceable, immobile, white quarterbacks go? Didn’t this league used to be the last bastion of pro-style game plans in the entire NCAA? Suddenly 7 of the 12 teams run some form of spread, 2 of the 12 just run (and neither of those two were even here 30 years ago… who was supposed to guard the door?!), and we’re left with only three teams still running some semblance of NFL game plan. Leaving Iowa and MSU for the Legends division, that leads us nicely to Wisconsin, the current dominant B1G team.

It’s still strange to say something like that in a conference featuring Michigan and Ohio State, and I didn’t even grow up during a time in which Michigan was great. Somehow Wisconsin has managed to pull together several great seasons in a row on the strength of… well, the same exact thing Wisconsin always did well with; great offensive lines, better running backs (and at least one offensive lineman PLAYING running back at all times), solid defense, and the same quarterback you could swear has been there since you were born (The Russell Wilson aberration notwithstanding. Lord knows the only reason he transferred to Wiscy is because he didn’t want to change jersey colors).

Their competition in the Leaders has been… removed? Yes, that’s a nice way to put it. Ohio State is still serving time for selling things they earned for other things they wanted (yeah, the bigger deal was that Tressel lied about it, but seriously: if I fucking win something I should be able to sell it all I want), and Penn State is… well, they’re going to be busy with lawsuits and things (AVOIDING OBVIOUS SUBJECT MATTER). So the remaining competition is… oh jesus. Illinois, Purdue, and Indiana? I won’t even have to try with this one. What follows are 100% accurate predictions for the Leaders this season! Wow, they need to change that division name:

College Previewkakke: Big 12 Minus 2 Edition


AIR GENO



So the most recent round of expansion might not have made much sense. The Big East added San Diego State and Boise State, and those schools are east of… Japan? The Pac-12 added Utah and Colorado, which is like being the sole proprietor of the Taj Mahal then allowing a couple of hobos to live there. Missouri and Texas A&M? Those make more sense regionally, but they made more sense regionally where they were. We haven’t gotten to the B1G yet, but Nebraska is a perfect fit there. The best move in realignment so far, however, has to be the Big 12-2 adding West Virginia and TCU.

TCU not only fits regionally with its old Southwestern Conference brethren, they also run a very Big 12-esque system. As for WVU, the Big 12 lost Mike Leach, so what did they do? Added a Leach disciple. West Virginia, as a school and state, may have lost a few rivalries by leaving the Big East, but they gained a group of states and schools that mesh much better with that state. Seriously, do you think West Virginia has more in common with New York and Pennsylvania or Texas and Oklahoma? I rest my case.

Speaking of the hill people, WVU is poised to contend in this conference in their first year as a member. They run an offense (AIR GENO) that fits so snuggly into this conference it will seem like they were always there. Their defense, however, could leave the door open to other contenders. Oklahoma has a Heisman hopeful at quarterback (who I believe has played QB for them for at least 12 years now) and National Title aspirations. Texas is out to prove their lull is over. Baylor and Oklahoma State need to prove they can win without last year’s stars. Iowa State and Kansas State need to prove they can maintain their levels of success and build on them. SO MANY STORYLINES. It’s like a goddamned Gore Verbinski movie up in this conference.

So get ready for the longest preview: TEN TEAMS, one conference, MASS HYSTERIA. Here are your 100% true predictions for the Big 12 in 2012:

Preseason Colleg Previewkakke: SEC West Division and Championship



Onto the SEC West, home to the winners of four of the last five National Championships. Remember when Mike Shula coached Alabama? Ah, the good days. Alas, all good things are destined to end, and Nick Saban ended up turning not one, but TWO SEC West universities into juggernauts. First a national title with LSU, then a short dalliance with the Miami Dolphins, then a quick and humorously lie-filled exit (Alabama? What’s that?) which saw him retreat back to the same freaking division as the college team he had left merely two years prior. Now? A damned dynasty wherein the man whose name is eerily similar to a certain fiery demon wins a title every couple years.

Add to this the LSU Tigers, who hired Les Miles after Saban left, which has led to some of the most fantastic endings/games in college football history (And another national title for LSU). Add to that Arkansas, who just fired its bike-riding, daughter’s-age-girl-banging, Atlanta Falcons-leaving head coach… and replaced him with John L. Smith. John L. Smith inspired THIS. That is all.

Outside of those three incredible stories we also have three other coaches in transition. Gene Chizik at Auburn needs to prove he can win without Cam Newton. Dan Mullen needs to take the next step with Mississippi State. And Texas A&M needs to prove they can compete in the SEC when they struggled so mightily to do just that in the Big 12-2.

So what happens in the most storyline-laden division in the NCAA? Glad you asked! Because I happen to have a fresh batch of 100% truthful predictions right after the jump:

Preseason College Previewkakke: SEC East Division

You may be asking yourself what order this round of previews is going in. If it were by national relevance, the SEC would obviously be the last conference previewed before the BCS Bowl prediction blowout. The SEC has won (approximately) the last 27 national titles and will, unless the SEC has 14 teams with at least 2 losses this season, send a minimum of one team to the National Championship. But this preview series is going in terms of relevance to our potential readership, and since anyone who cares about Chicago sports probably has a dog in either the Big 12-2 or B1G race, the SEC gets previewed before both of them.

What more can be said about the SEC? They’re dominant. They’ve had the undisputed champions in college football since 2007 and won it as well in 05 and 04 (05 Auburn was 13-0 despite not participating in the title game).

The most recent winners, however, lie in the West. That’s where LSU, Alabama, and Auburn (plus the ever-dangerous Arkansas) reside. The East is a division in transition. Florida was down last year, Tennessee has been down due to the Fulmer curse, Missouri is transitioning from the Big 12 minus 2, Vanderbilt has put together a couple top-25 recruiting classes and solid seasons, Mark Richt is regaining the respect of his fanbase, and Steve Spurrier is finally in contention for those titles his hiring promised.

Can any of these teams be relevant enough to contend for the SEC title (and thus the National Title)? Can any of them go unbeaten? How much credibility do I lose for what I’m about to say Vanderbilt will do? Let’s see! Here they are; 100% accurate predictions for the SEC East:

Preseason College Previewkakke: Pac-12 North and Championship



Still a bit surprised something came up in Google Image Search when I typed in "Flying Cougar"

And now we move into the Northern half of the Pac 12. When conferences construct divisions these days they should do it with one thing in mind: “For the love of God, don’t make the Big 12 North.” The mistake the Big 12 made there was assuming that Nebraska could carry an entire division forever, and do it well enough to beat the best team out of Texas/Oklahoma/Texas A&M once every couple years. As everyone saw, this simply didn’t end up working out. Every big program has lulls, and when Nebraska went into a lull there was nobody in the Big 12 North who could realistically step up and contend with the South. This made for some real snoozers as far as Championship games go, culminating in the South winning every championship from 2004 to 2010 (when the championship could no longer be played).

Herein lies the problem with the Pac 12 as it is currently divided. The only power in the South is USC. Yes, that is one hell of a power, but history has shown that no program can sustain this level of success indefinitely. Alabama, Ohio State, Penn State, Nebraska, Miami (currently!), etc., have all gone through significant periods of time in which they produced mediocre teams. More proof? It happened to USC! From 1996-2001 USC won more than 6 games just one time.

When USC goes into a lull, who will step up? Arizona State? Utah? UCLA? Colorado? Sounds a lot like Missouri, Kansas State, Kansas, and… Colorado… to me. The Pac 12 North, however, has one team that could cement itself as a USC-type elite program in Eugene, OR (Thanks, Nike!), two teams with coaches building teams to contend for many years (the Washingtons; Mike Leach and Steve Sarkisian), one team that has shown the ability to contend at the highest level recently (Stanford) and two teams who have shown the ability to contend historically (Oregon State and Cal). What happens when USC goes down? Well… last year’s title game, basically. Good luck, USC! The only hope for a competitive Pac 12 title game rests with you!

So in this intensely competitive Pac 12 North, who will emerge victorious? How about the Ducks, with their menagerie of ever-changing uniforms? Can Stanford maintain their recent level of success? Can Mike Leach do for WSU what he did for Texas Tech (Hint: Yes)? Once again, with 100% accuracy, your 2012 Pac 12 North final standings:

Preseason College Previewkakke: Pac-12 South Division


I wish Barkley would stop making me like him.

Moving on to a slightly more interesting conference, we start in the Pac-12 (Ah, the west coast, where the number after the conference name is accurate) South division. Unlike the ACC, most people actually know which teams are in the Pac-12 and care about what they do. Sometimes this is because they have a national title contender, sometimes it’s because of the crazy shit they do, but most of the time it’s because both of those things combine and form USC.

So here we have the Trojans, emerging anew from the cocoon of NCAA sanctions and bowl bans with the probable #1 overall pick in the 2013 NFL draft, a young coach who perhaps has enough experience to no longer be considered young, and national title aspirations. Last season USC couldn’t represent the Pac-12 South in the Pac-12 Championship or a bowl, and that ended up proving what pretty much everyone knew; this division is USC and a bunch of teams who are going to get beaten by USC. After a massive logjam the regular season ended with 6-6 UCLA winning this division. That earned them an ass-kicking at the hands of Oregon in the title game (Final score was 49-31, and it was worse than that, trust me) then a bowl bid… at 6-7… where they Fought Hunger in a bowl game sponsored by cheese… and lost to an equally undeserving Illinois team 20-14.

There is no question USC will return respectability to the division this fall, but are there other contenders that can push USC? This division has FOUR new coaches out of six, which should illustrate how terrible it was last season, and oh boy, are the four new coaches juicy. RichRod at Arizona attempting to resuscitate his career after the biggest disaster in Michigan history, Todd Graham at Arizona State after ditching Pittsburgh in the biggest asshole way possible, Jim Mora Jr. (HAHAHA) at UCLA which is… Jesus Christ UCLA… and a new head coach named who-fucking-cares at Colorado, where winning a single game should be considered a major accomplishment. Great pickup with Colorado, Pac-12. Real winners, they are.

So without further ado, venture beyond the jump for the 100% accurate predictions for the Pac-12 South: