(2-5) Washington @ (4-3) Atlanta
Code Red: God damnit, why did the Bears lose that game? And why can’t they get a shot at the Redskins? Falcons win.
(4-3) Arizona @ (4-3) Chicago
Code Red: Oh hell.
Iggins!: Seriously, I can’t pick against the Bears yet. Bears win.
(4-3) Baltimore @ (5-2) Cincinnati
Iggins!: Them Bengals are perty good. Bengals win.
Code Red: Like, scary good. Bengals win.
(5-3) Houston @ (7-0) Indianapolis
Iggins!: Or you’re just crazy. Indianapolis wins.
(3-4) Miami @ (5-2) New England
Iggins!: So the Dolphins have wins over very suspect opponents and the Patriots are perennially good. So.. I’m picking
Code Red: Okay, so the “playing teams that finished in the same place as you last year” thing means the Bears had to play the Falcons, the Vikings get the Panthers, and the Packers get the Bucs. Fuck. Packers win.
Iggins!: Yeah, that turned out well. Packers win.
(1-6) Kansas City @ (3-4) Jacksonville
Iggins!: Holy battle of suck, batman! I have to stop irrationally picking the Chiefs, so I’m forcibly breaking my habit.
Code Red: Why did you think the Chiefs would be good? What led you to that conclusion?
(3-4) Carolina @ (7-0) New Orleans
Code Red: They’re going down sometime, but it ain’t gonna be this week. Saints.
Iggins!: 16-0 bitch. Saint win.
(1-6) Detroit @ (2-5) Seattle
Iggins!: Wow this is irrelevant.
Code Red: Calvin Johnson’s coming back.
(1-6) Tennessee @ (3-4) San Francisco
Code Red: Iggins! started pulling out his Vince Young manlove last week, and all of that “he just wins games!” bullshit. Well this week he won’t. 49ers win.
Iggins!: Oh look, a battle of QBs who were drafted high and failed epicly! I have a sneaking suspicion that something wholly unnatural will happen in this game and Tennessee will win, causing Red to lash out in anger at me for suggesting that VY causes victory simply by being on the field.
(4-3) San Diego @ (5-3) New York Giants
Iggins!: Here we find a matchup of a team with an incompetent coaching staff but loads of talent against a team with a great coaching staff and diminishing talent. It’s hard to ignore how badly the Giants have been destroyed the last few weeks, but running tiny Darren up the middle is ineffective against everybody equally. Giants win.
Code Red: …..that was actually fairly spot-on. Giants win.
(5-2) Dallas @ (5-2) Philadelphia
Code Red: Hmm. The Eagles have looked great against everyone but the Saints and the…..Rai..ders…and the Cowboys have been nearly as inconsistent as the Texans. This one’s a tough call. Iggles win.
Iggins!: The Cowboys haven’t been inconsistent the last few weeks. And the Eagles haven’t beaten anybody who is legitimately good at this point. Cowboys win.
(5-2) Pittsburgh @ (6-1) Denver
Iggins!: Well after Baltimore crushed the Broncos last week I can’t very well pick the Broncos to beat a better AFC North team, can I? Steelers win.
Code Red: With any luck, the Broncos will lose this game to the Steelers, the Bears will beat the Cardinals, and the Kyle Orton-Jay Cutler comparisons will be dead for awhile. Go Steelers.