Notes from A Weekend of Slumber

Hello there, everybody. I know you're all missing me after an uncomfortably long absence due to the amount of time i spent in my evenings this past week studying for the grueling round of midterms I have taken or are in the process of taking. I'll get to my college football roundup and rankings tomorrow, but here are some of my notes from this weekend..

- [Redacted], I hate you even more than ever. First of all, learn how to coach a team's emotion so we don't keep giving teams like Michigan extended drives. 10 fucking penalties? Four of them personal fouls? Teach some God Damn Discipline.

-Also, look, I know the trendy thing in college football right now is the the whole Leak/Teabow two qb system. I know LSU's had success doing the same thing with Matt Flynn and Ryan Perilloux, but the difference, [Redacted], between those two combinations and the whole Juice Williams/Eddie McGee system, is that Leak was a senior who knew how to manage games and pass effectively, as is Matt Flynn, whereas the Juice/McGee pairing is a Sophomore with no ability to pass, and McGee is a redshirt Freshman with no ability to run the option. Newsflash! When you have two quarterbacks that have potential but no real experience, you hitch your wagon to one of them and see if they pan out. You don't fucking jerk them in and out of a game like you're fly fishing. Let one of them learn how to do more than One fucking thing and then see what you've got.

-Tim Tebow is not a man, he is a dragon man, or maybe he's just a dragon, but he was still TEBOW! Burninating the countryside, burninating the peasants!

-Brian Griese, for this week, no criticism shall befall upon you in our hallowed halls. But lose next week and we'll call for your head once more. But seriously, 97 yards in 1:45 with no timeouts, and your headset broken so you're forced to audible every play? Balls. Pure, gigantic, balls.

-Tom Brady- DIE! WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING DIE!?

Lil Wayne has retired

I regret to inform you that Lil Wayne has stepped down as prediction master. He said something about "y'all being bitches" and "fuck deez hoes" then left. I'd like to think he left because he was sucking. In any case we're searching for his replacement, so this week I'll just do 'em my self.

Winners in ALL CAPS

TAMPA BAY vs. Detroit
Falcons vs. SAINTS
Titans vs. TEXANS
Cardinals vs. REDSKINS
PATRIOTS vs. Dolphins
RAVENS vs. Bills
49ers vs. NY GIANTS
KC vs. OAKLAND
Jets vs. BENGALS
Rams vs. SEAHAWKS
Vikings vs. COWBOYS
BEARS vs. Eagles
STEELERS vs. Broncos
COLTS vs. Jaguars

Also, if you're expecting me to rant about how bad the Hawkeyes are, you, sir, will be disappointed. What more can be said?