To the picking!
Cowboys @ Giants
Code Red: Is there anything that's more
of a sure bet than Tony Romo losing to the Giants in a primetime
game? Giants.
Iggins!: The Cowboys and Chargers have
followed a similar path. The last 4 years both have been huge
preseason favorites to win stuff because their rosters look great,
then they’ve fallen on their face one creative way after the other.
At least it seems (some) people are avoiding that pitfall this year.
Giants win.
Mrs. Code Red: Superbowl? Giants.
Falcons @ Chiefs
Iggins!: So yeah, one time Red and I
went to a Cubs game against the Royals in KC (the stadium is
literally fifty feet from Arrowhead) and my wife looked at Arrowhead,
paused, and decided she would be a Chiefs fan. I chuckled, but then
she went home, memorized the players, positions, part of the team’s
history, and requested tickets to a game. So the Chiefs made my wife
enjoy football. I am slanted towards them, but I think we have to
admit at this point that the Chiefs are extremely talented everywhere
but at QB. Sadly, that position matters a hell of a lot, but at home,
in the opener, I’ll take the Chiefs to win this one 17-14 or
something because the Falcons are the Chargers two years ago. They’re
always RIGHT ON THE CUSP. But they aren’t.
Code Red: That's touching. So, so
touching. They have a solid core. They're hardly “extremely
talented” everywhere but QB. The Falcons
will win.
Mrs. Code Red: Falcons.
Eagles @ Browns
Code Red: I'm sure the Eagles may find
a way to make this look tougher than it should be. Eagles win.
Iggins!: Rookierookierookie and a #1
wide receiver who wouldn’t be a number 3 most anywhere else? I
would laugh so hard if the Eagles lost this. Eagles
win.
Mrs. Code Red:
Eagles.
Redskins @ Saints
Iggins!: People seem to think the
absence of Payton somehow hurts the Saints? THEY’RE THE SAME TEAM.
Vilma isn’t even that good anymore. Saints
win.
Code
Red: They signed Curtis Lofton, who is both younger and better than
Vilma anyways. Saints win.
Mrs.
Code Red: Saints.
Rams @ Lions
Code Red: Oof. Calvin Johnson running
loose in the Rams secondary. That's going to get ugly fast. Sam
Bradford against the Lions defensive line? Looks like his shoulder
injury may come early this year. Lions win.
Iggins!: Development is a tricky thing
to predict. The Rams had a godawful year last season, but they have
an acceptable core of young guys. My steal of the draft was Isaiah
Pead, and my prediction was that he would be… Steven Jackson. Huh.
If I were to highlight any game as being a potential shocker in week
1, this would be it, but I’m taking Megatron. Lions
win.
Mrs. Code Red: I
don't want to say the Lions, but come on. Lions win.
Patriots @ Titans
Iggins!: Hm. You know, I actually
really like the Titans this year. CJ2K should get a small bit of his
mojo back, Locker seems acceptable, and Britt+Washington is a pretty
good receiver combo if they both stay on the field. That said, I
can’t pick against the hoodie in game 1. Pats
win.
Code Red: I actually really like the
Titans to go 8-8 this year. Pats win.
Mrs. Code Red: Patriots. Rob
Gronkowski.
Code Red: Yes dear, we get it.
Dolphins @ Texans
Code Red: Well, Tannehill should have a
joyous first start. Texans win.
Iggins!: Total annihilation. Texans
win.
Mrs.
Code Red: Texans.
Mrs. Code Red:
Bills @ Jets
Iggins!: Ah jesus, no matter what
happens in this game, ESPN is overreacting about it.
Bills win, because Sanchez.
Code Red: I have a hard time picking
the Bills in this game, but, damn the Jets are a mess. Bills win.
Mrs. Code Red: Bills.
Jaguars @ Vikings
Code Red: Tough call here. Both of
these team's have this game circled as one of the few games they
could win this year. I'll roll with the only good unit out of the
four in this contest, the Jags defense. Jaguars win.
Iggins!: The Jags do have a good
defense, but I expect Ponder to be further along the development
conga line than Gabbert, and in order to win games you need the
pointz. Vikings win.
Mrs. Code Red: Eww..God..Vikings?
Colts @ Bears
Code Red: I'm sure the Bears will win
28-9, but they'll allow Andrew Luck to look very poised as he tosses
a bunch of short completions for no points and meatballs will curse
Charles Tillman. The Colts are better, but the Bears are one of the
most improved teams in the NFL and were playoff bound last year
before doom struck. It all begins here. Bears win.
Iggins!: How are the Colts better?
People keep saying that! I disagree. Luck threw some swell five yard
passes this preseason when nobody cared. How nice for him! Different
beast here. The game’ll be over by halftime. Bears
win, 45-6
Mrs. Code Red: Bears 27-10. Duh.
Panthers @ Buccaneers
Iggins!: Don’t trust Schiano,
Freeman, Vincent Jackson, or any of the mediocre players the Bucs
overpaid this offseason. All you can be sure of is an RB is going to
get the ball a lot and Cam is going run rampant. Panthers
win.
Code Red: Says the Doug Martin fantasy
owner. Don't trust any Buc, period. Panthers win.
Mrs. Code Red: Panthers.
Seahawks @ Cardinals
Code Red: Oh, Jesus. Coin flip says the
Cardinals.
Iggins!: Haha, no. No, no, no. Seahawks
win.
Code Red: Iggins! Is back in midseason
form. Taking shots at Andrew Luck for throwing 5 yard passes in the
preseason (Luck averaged 7.9 YPA and 12.7 YPC, btw) while apparently
chugging Russell Wilson dong so hard he can dismiss the possibility
that the rookie might lose his first start on the road with a
wanking motion. He may be right, he may be wrong, but the important
thing is he's emphatic.
Mr.s Code Red: I'll go with the
Seahawks because they're my fantasy defense?
49ers @ Packers
Iggins!: Holy crap, how is this game
not one of the Monday nighters? Thus begins the hard fall back to
reality for the Niners. Packers
win.
Code Red: Not sure. Fox must have
protected it somehow. I want so badly to believe the 49ers will stun
the Packers, but I don't buy Alex Smith outscoring Rodgers even
against that shitty Packers D. Packers win.
Mrs. Code Red: Sigh. Packers. Least
this way we can all enjoy it if the 49ers do win.
Steelers @ Broncos
Code Red: I'm aware that the Steelers
got Tebow'd in their last meeting, and now the Broncos have Manning,
but I'm not going to just hand him a win against one of the league's
elite in his first appearance in two years. Steelers win.
Iggins!: Ryan Clark can’t play in
Denver. That is not good. The Steeler defense is on decline and the
Bronco defense is on the rise. I’ll take the
Broncos to win, everyone to proclaim Peyton as Jesus, then for
him to fail miserably the next week for no reason.
Code Red: I don't buy for one goddamn
second that the Broncos defense is on the rise. They have Von Miller
and that's it. DJ Williams is suspended. Dawkins retired. Champ is
old. Elvis Dumervil is only terrifying as a 3-4 OLB and they're back
in a 4-3. Humbug.
Mrs. Code Red: I'm going to go with the
Broncos. I want Peyton to do well. I think?
Bengals @ Ravens
Iggins!: The Bengals have a nice team,
but the Ravens are on a different level still. Ravens dominate.
Code Red: I think the Bengals will take
a step back this year win-wise, while having more talent. Their
schedule was sooooooft last year. Then Bengals fans will hate Marvin
Lewis even more and he still won't get fired and they'll bounce back
to another first round playoff exit next year before going 4-12 again
after that, because life as Bengals fan is purgatory on Earth. You
want hell on Earth you go to Cleveland. Ravens win.
Mrs. Code Red: I just have a thing for
Andy Dalton. Bengals. Why not?
Chargers @ Oakland
Code Red: For some reason I never get
tired of Oakland's horrifying performances in their yearly prime time
double-header opener. It warms the heart to begin the season with
Raiders fail. Then again, the Chargers are fantastic at losing games
like this. Tough call. Chargers win.
Iggins!: Without Mathews the Bolts are
basically running out a ragtag group of mercenaries at RB, Malcom
Floyd as their #1 WR, and a nearly decrepit Antonio Gates at tight
end. I just… can’t… pick them. Raiders
win.
Mrs. Code Red:
Chargers. They're my AFC team.