Monday, June 15, 2009

Good News: Kyle Orton Named Starter in Denver, Bad News: Where the F*&k is the Neckbeard?

The good, if unsurprising news, comes from Yahoo! Sports. Some good quotes from the article:

From his coach:

“There’s a lot of difficult aspects about what we ask our quarterback to do in our offense and Kyle has really grasped some of them more quickly than Chris did,” McDaniels said in explaining the move after the second day of a three-day minicamp at the team’s Dove Valley headquarters.

From Kyle:

“I’m obviously really excited,” said Orton, who was a key piece to the Cutler deal that also included four high draft picks. “It’s really just the beginning for me in this offense and hopefully I’ll continue to improve every day and get the offense where we need to be come the season.”

From Kyle's beaten rival, Chris Simms:

"“Kyle’s extremely underrated,” Simms said. “I’ve always felt that way. He was underrated in college and with the Bears. He throws the ball very well. He’s a smart guy. He’s a big guy. There’s a lot of plusses with Kyle.”

Chris also added "I should know, I beat out Major Applewhite!" (this has nothing to add to the story, I just like to work in references to Major Applewhite whenever I can.)

In all honesty it shouldn't be that surprising to anyone that the guy that clearly swayed McDaniels to choose the Bears offer over anyone else's for Cutler was able to beat the free agent pick up who has thrown two passes in the NFL since his spleen exploded three seasons ago. I'd be a little bit embarassed and would probably drink heavily if our Hero failed to accomplish that. The question now is what Kyle will be able to accomplish in Denver since the fans are merciless when it comes to quarterbacks, the coach has shown enough of a steady hand since taking over that he's only driven his franchise quarterback away and seen his top wide receiver skip offseason workouts and threaten a holdout. What the hell, Kyle'll throw for 4,000 yards and activate the clause in his contract that'll require the Broncos to fill a swimming pool full of Jack Daniels and older women for him.

But that's what I think. Let me know what you think! Over on the right side of the page take the poll and tell me how many yards KO will rape the skies over the Mile High City for.

The real question in all of this, though, is where the hell did the neckbeard go? Has the stifling oppression of the Rocky Mountain mentality forced Kyle to fall in line? Shall we stand this injustice! Mais non! Don't let them change who you are Kyle! The neckbeard is you, and you are the neckbeard!