Bears 18, Saints 26: We Told Him So

Well, the Bears lost to the Saints. Hardly surprising, but it was more painful that it had to be. Really, though, the pain seemed to roll to every phase in turn. When the defense was busy holding Brees to 6 points on two drives, one of which began at first and a goal, the offense couldn’t do anything. Then the playcalling just kind of fell apart. Then the offense worked, and the defense decided they didn’t need to.

Still, I said I wouldn’t be upset if they held up reasonably well against Brees in a loss and I stand by it. There were a lot of encouraging signs in this game, despite the frustration. Thanks to Green Bay spanking the Lions, the Bears are still tied for first and are looking at two pretty soft teams before the first Packers game. Without further ado,

Prognostication Bukkake Week 5

Progkakke Standings:

Iggins!: 45-18

Code Red: 42-21

Mrs. Code Red: 40-23

Erik: 39-24

Buffalo Bills (2-2) @ Cleveland Browns (2-2)

Iggins!: Two very surprising 2-2 teams here. What the hell is with the Browns? Apparently trading away over-praised A-Train was a nice kick in the ass. I like the Browns to win here as, honestly, they’ve just looked better.

Erik: Yeah they’re clearly doing something right, though if the Josh Gordon rumors are true it seems like they may be doing too much. Just… you’re good, guys. Get a new QB and a couple linemen and you’re good! Browns.

Code Red: The Browns have a good enough defense to be…like, legitimately good now. I don’t know how long this whole Hoyer thing can last, but I like them here. Browns win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Browns seem less mediocre. Browns win.

Kansas City Chiefs (4-0) @ Tennessee Titans (3-1)

Erik: While I predict an eventual return to Earth for the Chiefs, they just keep getting handed more and more wins. The Titans have been better than they had any right to be, but they’re up against a team that’s essentially just them, but better at every position here. Chiefs go to 5-0.

Code Red: Jake Locker finally plays as good as everyone was pretending he was playing and gets hurt. Figures. Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: Chiefs. I keep waiting for them to lose, but I don’t think this is where it happens. Also,  Jake Locker is hurt, and that’s somehow a bad thing. Chiefs win.

Iggins!: I like the Titans, but that Chief defense is way too good for Fitzy. Chiefs win.

New Orleans Saints (4-0) @ Chicago Bears (3-1)

Iggins!: I took this one first so everyone could see I didn’t pick the Bears. I think we’ll do much better than we looked last week. Cutler should recover from whatever he had, the offense should get in tune. I think we can keep it close. But when you throw no pass rush, mediocre secondary play (if we’re being generous), and Drew Brees into a pot, you get a Saints win, 38-27.

Erik: I’m not going to mince words because I’m writing a long-winded rant about it, but here’s my take on Sunday: The QB played like shit, and we were never going to win that game. Everything starts there, and he owned it and was apparently sick. So I don’t like it, but every team loses and I’d rather it be an external factor making that happen than Jay just being bad for no reason. I don’t see how they slow down the Saints, but I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if we somehow keep up with them. But still, yeah, Saints 31-24.

Code Red: You treasonous bastards. My head may agree with thee, but I’ve sacrificed progkakke standings to loyalty before, and I’ll do it here. I do think the offense will play pretty well. Whether that will actually be enough, I don’t know. Bears win 34-30.

Mrs. Code Red: I have to admit I’m nervous, but Bears win 27-30. Think about that score for a minute. You gutless cowards!