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Friday, August 22, 2014

Season Two, Episode Eleven: Only the Very Realest Talk

Sir, I'm sorry to wake you like this but... they said it couldn't wait. The Expedition they... they found it, sir. Another episode, right where you said it would be. The chopper is fueled and ready, we'll meet them at Fort Booker and ride from there. I just have to ask, sir, how did you know?

This episode is lessened by my absence, which is owed I'm sure to the filthy children I had the misfortune to be near at the museum. Harbingers of pestilence, all of them. And they talked through the whole damn show at the planetarium. Anyway, what was I talking about?

Oh right, the podcast. Kyle and Travis discuss preseason, game two and sundry other things. I'm sure they left appropriate gaps for you to just imagine my incisive observations, so here's a quick checklist for improvising your very own Erik Dialogue™
  • Endeavor to use as many words as possible to make simple points
  • Say "Go HAM" entirely too much (I can't stop, what's wrong with me)
  • Awkwardly compare two things in a way that doesn't quite make sense which your friends will reference every day for the next two years
  • Try to make a bold claim only to realize you've somehow fallen into the middle ground again because your cohorts are Goddamn cartoon caricatures of people
Just follow those simple steps and you, too, can experience this demonstrably inferior podcast while thinking of me the entire time the way I always do.

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