Friday, April 23, 2010

Tim Tebow over Our Hero? Mais Non!

When the Broncos ditched Chris Simms after the season and decided to trade for Brady Quinn, was I concerned? No, of course not. If you think Brady F*&king Quinn is a threat to Kyle Orton, you need to go dip your gonads in something caustic. Brady Quinn, as I've mentioned before, has only one thing in his favor, and that's that he looks like a quarterback. A prototypical one, anyway. That wears eye-liner. But that's not the point. His arm strength is, at best, on par with Kyle's, he's far less accurate (52.1% completion rate to Kyle's 57.8%), and Kyle has the advantage of a year's experience in McDaniels' overrated spread offense. Kyle was thus safe from harm. OR SO I THOUGHT.

Last night the Broncos dropped a bombshell on the draft by trading down from #11 (the pick they got from the Bears) to #13, then to #24, then traded up to #22 where they took WR Demaryius Thomas, then traded back into the first round to get to #25, where they could select Tim Tebow. That flurry of draft trades built upon last year's pattern, giving the impression that Josh McDaniels has decided that people will praise him as a genius for making a lot of moves that ultimately don't make any sense. For the meatheads that are still upset about the king's ransom in draft picks that the Bears gave up for Jay Cutler, the Broncos have now turned those picks into Robert Ayers (a total no show for the Broncos last year) and Tim Tebow. So they've been kind enough to use those picks as poorly as Jerry Angelo would have. Thanks guys.

The Tebow pick is obviously the most shocking and the most newsworthy pick of this year's first round. I'm going to be honest. I like Tim Tebow more than most of the professionals do. Hell, I had a pretty powerful mancrush going for him before he won the Heisman. He's a legitimate project and one that may pay off very well 2-3 years down the road. At the 25th overall pick, though, with the Broncos having much bigger needs and a more NFL (and night club) ready quarterback in Jimmy Clausen available, they seriously overreached to try and-blah blah blah.

Fuck Tim Tebow. Oh I don't hate him for his overexposure. I don't hate him for his religious views. I don't even hate him for his sloppy footwork, his terrible mechanics, or his inability to go through progressions and read a defense. Whether he likes it or not, he's just stepped into the lair of the dragon. No hot shot young Florida quarterback tries to take Kyle Orton's job. Perhaps you remember when the Bears signed Chris Leak? And perhaps you wonder why you haven't heard from him since? Exactly.

McDaniels has dug himself a huge hole with his fanbase and probably his ownership by shipping out the core of the young, talented offense he inherited. The Broncos need to win soon to justify the faith shown in him. The core of the team, ironically enough, is now the defense, with players like Brian Dawkins and Champ Bailey who are old. Instead of making another impact pick on their offensive line, one that could help them win now (like the Thomas pick, which was a good move), they draft the biggest project in the NFL draft. Even if Tebow does pan out, it won't be for several years, at which point the core of their defense will need to be rebuilt.

Plus, McDaniels whole argument in replacing Cutler with Orton was that talent was less important than the system. If that's so, why waste a first round pick on a quarterback that, as Steve Young says, "may someday be almost as good as the guy you just traded away." To put it in Johnny Cochrane's words: That doesn't make sense.



But enough about Josh McDaniels drafting skills. The point of the matter is that Kyle Orton is and always will be a better quarterback option than Tim Tebow. Since I'm always right, you know this is fact. However, McDaniels took Tebow with the first round pick and will, sooner rather than later, seek to justify his asinine decision, most likely resulting in Kyle's departure from the Broncos before the 2011 season. This, of course, means war against the very principle on which Start Kyle Orton was founded, that being that Kyle Orton should start. From this moment on we will seek to denigrate and destroy Tim Tebow at every single opportunity. Sorry Tim. Actually, I'm not sorry. Fuck you. You're just a thicker Alex Smith.