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Thursday, November 28, 2013

Progkakke Week 13

Iggins!: 94-52-1
Mrs. Code Red: 94-52-1
Code Red: 93-53-1
Erik: 86-60-1

Green Bay Packers (5-5-1) @ Detroit Lions (6-5)
Iggins!: Look, normally we don’t do contingency picks here, but in this case it is absolutely necessary. If Rodgers plays, Green Bay wins. If he does not, Lions win.

Erik: I might still pick the Lions, honestly, the Packers are just absolutely ravaged by injuries right now. I’m going to do it. Lions.

Code Red: They already said it's Flynn, so Lions it is.

Mrs. Code Red: Lions.

Oakland Raiders (4-7) @ Dallas Cowboys (6-5)
Erik: Barf. Cowboys.

Code Red: Barf indeed. Cowboys.

Mrs. Code Red: Cowboys.

Iggins!: Cowboys it is!

Pittsburgh Steelers (5-6) @ Baltimore Ravens (5-6)
Iggins!: Mediocrity abounds. Home team, I guess. Ravens win.

Erik: I would not be at all surprised to see the Steelers win, but the Ravens should.'

Code Red: Ravens?

Mrs. Code Red: Ravens at home, I suppose.

Chicago Bears (6-5) @ Minnesota Vikings (2-8-1)
Erik: There is not depth to which I do not believe this Bears defense cannot sink anymore. They are dead last against the run, and middle of the pack against the pass. But I believe the latter is only true because teams are getting 200+ yards on the ground and don’t need to pass. Still, Bears 24-17.

Code Red: So, so happy I get to watch Adrian Peterson do unspeakable things to this defense live. Bears 
win, 33-28.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears 34-30.

Iggins!: Like I said on the podcast, my official pick is Bears, but I have a strong feeling that the Vikings are going to take this one.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Rams 42, Bears 21: It was even worse than it looked

By the numbers, the Bears hung in that game until the last five or so minutes of the fourth quarter. But actually watching it, there was no point at which "it is still mathematically possible for them to win" was a comforting thought to me. Despite heroic efforts from some of the offensive players, bad playcalling and an essentially nonexistent defense killed any hypothetical chance they had of staying in it.

They're still tied for first in the NFC North by dint of the Lions Lionsing and the Packers and Vikings managing a tie, but at this point winning the division is the only way this team makes the playoffs. The NFC is just too stacked at the five and six seeds for a 10-6 team with this many NFC losses to get in the back door.

The Good

Matt Forte mostly:  Other than a fumble on the first play from scrimmage that led to an early 14-0 Rams lead, Forte did everything he could to give this team a chance. He turned several plays that should've been losses into gains, sometimes pretty substantial ones. Whatever was causing his inability to evade a tackler in recent weeks has clearly been dealt with, his evasiveness was in full effect today. He evaded six tackles for an easy touchdown that Earl Bennet got called back on a totally unnecessary block in the back, and put together 77 yards with a respectable 4.8 ypc average. He would've had better numbers, too, if not for the bizarre appearance of Michael Bush, but I'll get to him later.

Progkakke Week 12

Progkakke Standings:
Iggins!: 90-43
Mrs. Code Red: 88-45
Code Red: 86-47
Erik: 81-52

New Orleans Saints (8-2) @ Atlanta Falcons (2-8)
Iggins!: Well, Saints win.

Erik: It is strange that this game is so little of a contest, but yeah Saints.

Code Red: Atlanta sucks. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Saints.

San Diego Chargers (4-6) @ Kansas City Chiefs (9-1)
Erik: The Kansas City Star did a lovely job of collecting the filth about the Chiefs “being exposed” and how their “season is over” because they lost to the Fucking Broncos, but that’s whatever. They are still a very good football team that can’t overcome a deficit, and they are not going to experience once en route to victory here. Chiefs.

Code Red: Erik, are you so hungry to bitch about the stupid media that you've gone national in your quest for butthurt? Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: I have this really gut feeling that the Chargers might win here. But I just can't pick them. Chiefs win.

Iggins!: Well, I love me some Chiefs, so Chiefs win.

Chicago Bears (6-4) @ St. Louis Rams (4-6)
Iggins!: I have no goddamned confidence in the outcome of these games, but I think MCCOWN can shepherd us to another close win. Bears win 27-20.

Erik: I am perpetually optimistic about the Rams because, as they demonstrated against the Colts, that defense is ever-hungry and even anemic offensive production can carry them to victory. McCown is taking care of the football extremely well to this point, though, and I think his Shredded Wheat Offense can grind out a boring win here. Bears, 30-17.

Code Red: Bad defense can make any “sure win” a questionable proposition, but I think the Bears should pull this one out. Bears win, 24-20.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears 24-21.

Pittsburgh Steelers (4-6) @ Cleveland Browns (4-6)
Erik: Baaarf. The Steelers have remembered how to pass the ball for a few weeks now, and the Browns don’t even remember what an offense is. I guess the Steelers.

Code Red: Years from now Browns fans will tell their grandchildren that for like a month or so there in 2013 the Browns were semi-competent. But no more. Steelers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Steelers look better, Browns look worse. Steelers win.

Iggins!: The Browns and Bengals always have strange games, that Steeler win against the Lions was a fluke caused by coaching incompetence on the other sideline. Browns win.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-8) @ Detroit Lions (6-4)
Iggins!: The Bucs have been way better lately, and I mean… fuck Detroit. UPSET SPECIAL BUCS WIN.

Erik: I really do believe Schwartz can throw this game away, but the Bucs are just so fucking bad. I want to do it. But home field is pretty big for Detroit, especially against a rookie QB. Lions.

Code Red: Detroit isn't going to fuck away two in a row, even if I wish they would. Lions win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm picking Detroit, but it'll be closer than everyone but Iggins! seems to think.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

SKOdcast Episode 26: This one's personal

Because tonight'll be a short one, what with me being the only one here!


Thursday, November 14, 2013

Episode 25 of the SKOdCast is Now Up

SKOdcast Episode 25

Come as we discuss how nothing happened this past week, really. Right? Nothing eventful or anything.


Is Jay Cutler's Job in Danger? No. No It Is Not.

I know we get down on Bears fans for being dumb a whole lot, but I really don't think I've heard anything dumber in my time overreacting to fan and media opinions than the idea that Josh McCown should be the Bears' long-term starter.  Nevermind that he's older than Cutler and half as talented, the mere fact that he has only even played more than 10 games in a season once at the age of 34 should be a dead giveaway.

Mark Potash of the Sun-Times disagrees with that idea, as well. But not as much as he should, apparently, because he let this nonsense see the light of day. "Josh McCown's Success Makes Jay Cutler Expendable" may be the single biggest concentration of stupidity in a single sentence ever written by a Sun-Times reporter, and it wasn't even somebody named Rick!

I had intended to do this column in customary point-counterpoint style, but there’s just not enough substance there to bother with. It’s just a few tepid arguments that kind-of-support the headline, it’d be like fighting a handicapped man. And not like that guy from Eagle vs. Shark that kicked the shit out of Jemaine Clement. 

Pictured: Not Mark Potash

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Lions 21, Bears 19. Brutal

I like Marc Trestman a lot. He's smart, he's generally a certifiably brilliant offensive game-planner, and I like the Bears future in his hands going forward. Today was a day I hope we'll soon forget, but I doubt it, because Marc Trestman threw first place away today.

Not a soul would have argued if Marc Trestman had told Jay to sit for one more week. Not a soul would have argued if Trestman had sat Jay at halftime when he appeared considerably slower than he did in the first half.

I wouldn't have argued if he'd left Jay in all game. Jay is your starting quarterback, and must be going forward. The team can't waver on this, as there's no future with Josh McCown, even if you're the meatballiest meatball who ever meatballed. If Jay finishes out a gutsy but ultimately futile effort, you just have to roll with it and hope he gets better next week.

The one thing you can't do? That. Now Cutler's status as the starter will be questioned. Josh McCown will grow in meatball legend. Back to back 2 pt conversion attempts failed on awful calls that made no sense. Why bootleg and willingly limit yourself to half a field on a do or die play? Why run up the middle against a defensive line that whooped your ass every snap? Things just got very, very ugly. This season will kill us all, I swear.

The Good:

The Defense: Corey Wootton was stellar. The run defense held up for all but two drives. They held the Lions to 21 points, practically a miracle by their standards this year. It was truly upsetting to see their effort wasted.

Brandon Marshall:  He caught 7 of 12 targets for 139 yards and 2 TDs. It was an impressive effort as always.

First Half Jay Cutler: I don't know what kind of fatigue set in at half time, but it's a damn shame. Jay was near perfect to start the game, completing the first drive with a beautiful 32 yard strike to Marshall and moving the ball at will. An unfortunate tipped pass killed a TD drive and then everything went to hell. When healthy, however, Jay is still this team's best option. I don't really care if you disagree.

The Bad:

Alshon Jeffery: He had 114 yards, but caught just half his targets and had several brutal drops, including what should have been a TD pass on the Bears first drive after halftime. The overturned TD catch was a tough play, but it wouldn't have been necessary if Alshon had made the play the first time around.

Matt Forte: the run-blocking was awful, but this offense is designed around Forte managing to make at least one guy miss. He failed to do that at all today, and it killed them.

Run-blocking: Good god, guys. Detroit is stout up front, but 38 yards rushing? 38? 

 The Ugly:

This week. It's going to suck. Think I'm going to just avoid the radio as much as possible. Guh.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Episode 24 of the SKOdCast is Now Up!

Episode 24 of the SKOdCast Live at 6:15!

Listen as we discuss the upset over the Packers, Jay's magical crotch powers, the Lions game, bullying, and of course, GDBF.


Monday, November 4, 2013




Where was I?

Oh yeah, the Bears just beat the fucking Packers at Lambeau Field. Shea McClellin may have ended Aaron Rodger's season. Josh McCown is now unquestionably the greatest backup quarterback in Bears history. Julius Peppers remembered he was Julius Peppers.

Everything that needed to happen for the Bears to win tonight happened. Now they're staring at a 5-3 record, first place, and the potential return of Jay Cutler next week for a winner take all battle at Soldier Field. I know what I said last week, and I'm an idiot. This shit is still theirs for the taking.



Shea McClellin: Did that really just happen? Shea may still be on path to being a bust, but for one night he was everything we'd ever hoped he'd be, and it may have changed the entire NFC playoff picture. I have no other words. I will need you all to assure me tomorrow that this actually happened.

Julius Peppers: You can't stop time, but sometimes you can tell it to back off for a night. Peppers had a sack, two batted passes, and an interception. If he and Shea can bottle this and take it throughout the rest of the season, this defense might be even slightly less than awful. That may be all they need.

Matt Forte: The Bears offensive game plan without Cutler may not have been the usual "Forte and Defense and Pray" that it was under Lovie, but Forte still put the team on his back in the fourth quarter. The nine minute drive that clinched the game was pretty much all Forte, and he fought for every yard on his way to 125 yards rushing, to go along with 54 yards receiving.

Josh McCown: This may be his last career start. No offense to Josh, I hope it is. If so, he went out with a bang. He completed just 53% of his passes for 6.6 ypa, but he got 272 yds and two beautifully thrown TD passes and did far more than any of us could have ever dreamed he'd do in this game. I hope he sticks around as Jay's caddy for at least one more year, because everyone seems to love him and I understand why now.

Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery: These two. What a gift it is to watch them make DC's pick their poison and lose either way. 

Marc Trestman: I am so happy this man is the head coach of the Chicago Bears. On the road, with his backup QB, going up against a defensive coordinator who had never failed to kick the ass of whoever his counterpart in Chicago was at the time, Trestman dialed up a perfect game as the offense compiled 27 points and 443 yards. With their backup quarterback. Not only that, but on 4th and inches, at his own fucking 30, with a 4 point lead on the road in Lambeau Field, he bet on his team and won. I look forward to seeing what this man can do with a team at full strength someday.

The Bad:

The Safeties: Ok. I get that you all were drafted to be Cover 2 safeties and you can't be expected to cover for 5 seconds when the pass rush is inert, but the simple inability to square up a runningback is just inexcusable. Major Wright was just garbage tonight, and Conte was only a hair better. Guh.

Special Teams: A punt block and caught completely off guard on a surprise onside. It's getting old seeing the once Best-in-the-NFL unit play this poorly.

The Ugly:


That's all for now. Holy shit. Ho. Lee. Shit. Go Bears.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Progkakke Week 9

Progkakke Standings:
Iggins!: 82-38
Mrs. Code Red: 79-41
Code Red: 76-44
Erik: 74-46

Cincinnati Bengals (6-2) @ Miami Dolphins (3-4)
Iggins!: Welp, the Fins have certainly lost all their steam and the Bengals have gained all of theirs, so, Bengals win.

Erik: The Dolphins should be able to give Dalton a bit more of a scare than he’s had in recent weeks, but the Bengals are going to devour Ryan Tannehill. Bengals.

Code Red: I won't lie. We didn't get our picks in until after this game, but Mrs. Code Red and I had both said Bengals, and we cannot tell a lie.

Mrs. Code Red: Maybe you can't, but I totes picked the Dol....okay. Bengals.

Kansas City Chiefs (8-0) @ Buffalo Bills (3-5)
Erik: A team with a pretty good defense and no offense vs. a team with a great defense and a mediocre offense. Get ready for the hard-hitting, fast-paced 21-10 Chiefs win.

Code Red: Guys, the Chiefs can swallow good QBs whole. Why keep throwing the Case Keenum's and Jason Campbell's and Jeff Tuel's of the world at them? Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Chiefs have to lose at some point. Just..y'know, not here. Chiefs win.

Iggins!: Gonna be another close one because neither of these teams seems capable of getting any separation either way, but I'll take the Chiefs to win.

Minnesota Vikings (1-6) @ Dallas Cowboys (4-4)
Iggins!: Just not picking the Vikings, ever. Dallas wins.

Erik: Even the Cowboys couldn’t fuck this one up.

Code Red: Oh, Erik. That's tempting fate a bit much. Still, Dallas win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm really tempted to say Dallas will fuck this up, but that would be too much. Dallas win.

Tennessee Titans (3-4) @ St. Louis Rams (3-5)
Erik: The Rams pissed away their chance to win their annual “the Rams beat who?” game last week because Kellen Clemens was afraid to scramble, but that defense looked vicious. I guess Rams?

Code Red: THE JEFF FISHER BOWL. That would be a narrative if anyone had given a shit about either of these teams in the last five years.  Titans win.

Mrs. Code Red: Can't pick the Rams without Bradford. Never really picked them with Bradford either, but still. Titans win. I think this is the first time I've picked them all year.

Iggins!: Elyse, if you had only picked the Titans more you might be tied with me! Titans win.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Friday Hoopyball Recap: B1G Preview Edition!

Hello again everyone! This week we have 2 Bulls games that happened and a preview of happenings yet to happen. To be concise, this column is happenin’. Let’s start with the Bulls!

Bulls 95 – Heat 107
Not exactly the best case scenario for game 1 but it’s hard to be too down about losing to the 2-time defending champions, in their house, on the night they get their rings. There were a few bright spots: Boozer dropped 31 points and 7 rebounds and he even looked fairly aggressive. Several plays he actually made strong moves towards the basket (his normal move, the back-to-the-basket turn-around fade-away is easily the #1 thing I take issue with about Booze. He’s a big guy, and strong. If he would just assert himself, well… Tuesday night happens) and he showed no fear in trying to shoulder the offensive burden when nearly everyone else was ice cold.

Jimmy Butler also had a very nice game, putting up a mini-Paul-George line of 20pts, 5 steals, 3 assists, 3 rebounds, and even a block. He hit half his threes and his early foul trouble (and resultant benching) was certainly a factor in the large halftime deficit the Bulls incurred.

But the real issue in this game was that the bench simply didn’t play correctly for the first 3 quarters. Dunleavy, when he came in, was very obviously lost on several plays. All those open 3s the Heat took? If that wasn’t Dunleavy’s guy it was Hinrich’s. There was even a play where both of them ran to the same guy, instead ran into each-other, and the Heat hit a wide open 3, pretty much encapsulating their entire night. Mike finally got going on offense later on in the fourth, but he did just enough (or not enough, as it were) to earn week 1’s…

Bulls Player Who Will Absorb My HATERAGE

 photo dunleavy_zps10479e1c.jpg

I’m watching you, Dunleavy.