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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Draft Day is the Single Dumbest Football Movie You Will Ever See (Spoilers)

Generally speaking, I don't like football movies. They tend to over-emphasize exactly the kind of rah-rah cliche laden macho bullshit that is my least favorite aspect of the sport. Sadly no one has yet to make a truly interesting movie focusing on the X's and O's of Bill Walsh's offense or told the story of Mike Leach living in a rat infested trailer park on $3,000 a year as he and Hal Mumme built the Air Raid offense at third rate college programs in Iowa. Those are the movies I'd like to see, but alas, not much interest there.

When I first heard about Draft Day, I had some hope. A behind the scenes look at the NFL draft and the way front offices approach it? Maybe it could be the football equivalent of the movie Moneyball. Once the trailers rolled out and it was obvious that the film revolved around an absolutely implausible (little did I know HOW implausible) draft day trade that Sonny Weaver, Jr. (Kevin Costner) pulls off while also dealing with his romantic and totally not at all creepy and unprofessional relationship with his much younger capologist, Jennifer Garner, I quickly lost any positive feelings I had towards the movie. But, my wife managed to get us free tickets to a pre-release screening and oh my God was this film amazing in all of the wrong ways. I'll just cover a few here: