I Leave for a Few Months and Everything Goes To Hell

Hello again, internet.

You may have missed me. There's only so much a man can take, really. I spent a hell of a lot of time and far too many words defending Jay Cutler and the Bears before this last season to be able to grin and bear their injury-induced collapse. I'll give the New York Giants all of the credit in the world (having a pass rush like that in a league that's rapidly becoming a pass-only collective is a solid strategy), but looking at the NFL's final four this year it was hard to stomach the fact that the Bears as they were playing before the Cutler injury undoubtedly had one of the best shots they've ever had in my lifetime of making a title run. I'm always going to feel cheated, and I hope you'll forgive me for failing miserably at recapping a series of Caleb Hanie-led debacles.

What could I have said, honestly? The Bears lost their first three games without Cutler despite surrendering a whopping total of three touchdowns. You can criticize people for saying "if x would have happened they'd have won" (and I frequently do), but if you don't think that Bears team makes the playoffs with a full season of Jay Cutler, well, you're a moron.

The only thing I really have left to say on the actual games at the end of the season is this: loyal SKO reader Apex and I attended the Seahawks game together (thanks to his generously offered ticket), and I had a grand old time even if it was a total flop. Thanks, Pex. You're good people.

So let's bring everything up to today. Jerry Angelo, finally, wound up on the firing line. You can scroll back through the archives of this site to find plenty of words expressing my feelings on Jerry. He was never the completely inept boob that most meatballs portrayed him to be. He had definite strengths as a general manager. He could find some great talent (on the defensive side of the ball, at least) hidden in late rounds of the draft. He deserves a great deal of credit for resurrecting this franchise, because, let's face it, if you don't think the team was better off in the Angelo Era than in the McCaskey/Graves/Hatley era, you obviously weren't a Bears fan then. Or you've been attacked with brain slugs, and my heart goes out to you.

The problem with Jerry was a simple matter of time. I think new Cubs wunderkind Theo Epstein said it best: there's a shelf life on GM jobs. Jerry had 11 years to win a title and he didn't do it. His teams were continually weak in areas that Jerry didn't value enough to invest resources in, the offensive line and the wide receiver corps, and it was obvious by now that his philosophy was never going to change. I wish him well, and I'm glad he's gone.

As for Phil Emery? I know absolutely nothing about him. Few people do. He seems like a safe hire, one that can tolerate his inherited head coach and the absurd two-headed OC monster (I've seen college programs try this before. It rarely works, and the Bears are not Boise fucking State. It was a good move to get Jeremy Bates as the QB coach/passing game coordinator). Does this make him a bad hire? Not necessarily. I'd love to pass myself off as having some kind of actual input on Emery, but I don't. If he doesn't address the wide receiver issue in the draft or with what's shaping up to be a potentially promising free agent class he'll have lost me right off the bat. He's already got one strike on him, since, as loyal SKO reader TEC noted, Frank Fucking Omiyale is still on the roster. Again, I agree that a change was necessary. We'll see if this is anything more than a lateral move.

As for Lovie Smith, I don't disagree with keeping him, for one more year at least. This team's gone too far down one road to totally rebuild yet, and they're too devoted to Lovie's system to try and switch schemes and still contend. If he fails again next year, his players on defense will be old enough to force a rebuild anyway and it'll be easy to throw Lovie overboard.

I certainly wasn't sad to say goodbye to Mike Martz. To his credit, he helped fix many of the fundamental flaws in Jay's mechanics, and I truly believe Jay become a better quarterback under Martz.Jay will also be in a much better position to succeed without him.

As for the players on the field, well, at some point I hope to get to another position by position review. I'll only say for now that I can't wait to see Cutler healthy and back on the field, and that I wish Johnny Knox a speedy recovery, even though it appears he may not play this season. That was a terrifying injury. The story of the 2011 Bears, sadly.

That's all for now. I'll be back.

Chiefs 10, Bears 3. Fuck It.

Just fuck it all. Season's over, folks. I've got nothing. I didn't want to live through that game. I certainly don't want to relive it.

Raiders 25, Bears 20- Panic Mode

I would be the woman in the chair.

Things aren't good right now, folks. I'm not one to overreact. There's a number of reasons to take some cautious optimism from this game (401 yards of offense, somehow, as well as 6.4 yards per rush and 172 yards rushing, they lost by one score to a good team on the road, etc.). But I'm just not feeling it at the moment. I'm worried.

We know a lot of things about Caleb Hanie at this point. He can do some fun things when he's improvising, like his TDs to Earl Bennett in the title game and the bomb to Johnny Knox. He's athletic, since he managed 50 yards rushing on just five carries, but I can't get over the fact that he appears to be incredibly dumb. I don't know how you throw an interception to BJ Raji. I don't know how you even begin to throw that first interception that he threw to a guy standing directly in front of him just a few feet away. I just don't know how this apparently recklessness that Hanie has will work itself out quickly.

Don't get me wrong. This wasn't Todd Collins, or Craig Krenzel or any of the embarrassingly awful schmucks they've thrown out there before. If Caleb was a rookie making his first start on a team that was going nowhere I'd consider him promising, but I'm not sure he's not going to continue doing stupid shit on a team that really can't afford it right now. At this point, Hanie's a wildcard that could keep this team from beating anyone of the teams that I'd have considered nothing more than cannon fodder for this team with Cutler at the helm. Hell, I'm scared of Tebow's Broncos at the moment. Do you have any fucking idea how much I hate to even say that?

You can say the Raiders are the best team the Bears have left before Green Bay, when, hopefully, Jay may be back. But they didn't do anything yesterday that any of the other teams in the AFC West couldn't do. They were terrible and couldn't run the ball. Caleb put them in position for nearly all of their scores, and it sucked, and it could potentially happen against any of the other teams the Bears Should beat the rest of the way.

Oh well. I'm sure this is just me panicking, and every time I seem to get near the edge this team does something good to get me to back up, so let's hope Caleb Hanie just had one horribly stupid half of football and has it out of his system.

The Good:

Johnny Knox- I'm still mad at him for slipping on that slant and inadvertently causing this whole mess, but Jesus, Johnny is playing some good football, with a 145 yards and a TD to follow his 97 yard effort last week. He's coming along. If his head is finally catching up with his talent, look out.

Forte/Barber: I like the move to give Barber more carries. Teams are going to stack the box and dare Caleb Hanie to beat them. Unfortunately, Matt Forte's edge runs and bounces to the outside tend to wind up in 3 yard losses against those kinds of fronts. The answer, as we saw, was to have Marion Barber run right into the teeth of the defense and drag them for four to six yards a pop. Together the Thunder/Lightning combo managed 22 rushes for 122 yards (5.5 YPC). Hopefully this will bode well in the games to come, since they're going to need it.

The Defensive Line: They had their best performance all year, with 4 sacks and consistent pressure, and they held Michael Bush to 2.9 yards per rush. They were a big part of limiting the Raiders to those six field goals that miraculously kept them in the game after Caleb's mistakes put them in some bad positions.

Sebastian Janikowski: The silver lining in all of this is that I own Janikowski on my fantasy team.

The Bad:

Caleb Hanie: Well, yeah.

Tim Jennings: He played well for most of the game, but he dropped two interceptions that would have taken Oakland points off of the board and he got beat on the pass that set up Oakland's clinching TD.

The Ugly:
Jay Cutler standing on the sideline: Oh, how it hurt my eyes.

Well, That Happened.

Yep, Jay has a broken thumb. Best case scenario that I've heard (and that I'm choosing to believe, because, well, y'all know me) is that he could be back for the Green Bay and Minnesota games to close out the season. That sucks.

Oh well. Shit happens. It is ironic that this occurred on the very eve in which my recap consisted solely of touting the merits of a franchise QB, but Caleb Hanie can handle this. If you don't think Caleb, with Matt Forte, an improving offensive line, that defense, and Devin Hester on special teams can at least break even and get this team to the playoffs where Jay can save the day, well, you must not have been paying attention to any of the Bears teams that made the playoffs despite ENTIRE SEASONS of Kyle Ortons, Rex Grossmans, Jim Millers, and Steve Walshes. Now, if Jay was going to be out forever I'd say "oh well, playoff appearance my ass, you can't win a title with Caleb Hanie, at least not right now," but nobody so far has ruled Jay out for the title run. All Caleb has to do is fulfill every major QB cliche I've railed against for years. Manage the game, Caleb. Play within yourself. Take care of the ball, and fuck it, if you want to make a play every now and then, be my guest. Just watch out for BJ Raji.

I've had my moment of despair. Oh, last night I did hang my head sorrowfully. "Oh, great lords of the football world, why hath thou forsaken me?" I did query. They answered with silence, as they usually do. And lo, I did say, "Oh, bottle of Johnny Walker, a faithful friend thou art."

This morning I woke to a world where the Bears are 7-3 and a full game ahead of the other contenders for the 6 seed in the NFC playoffs. Nothing's changed. The goal is in sight. Bear down.

Bears 31, Chargers 20- Franchise'd

For the first time in 2011, the Chicago Bears won a game because their franchise QB played like one.

Don't get me wrong, Jay had played very well in some blowouts (Atlanta, Minnesota) and had come up big late against Philly. He'd managed the game well a few times (Detroit 2, Carolina) and he'd been heroic in a losing effort in Detroit. He'd had a couple totally forgettable outings against Green Bay and New Orleans. All in all, he'd done just what he'd needed to do to get this team to 6-3 behind a great run game and a surging defense. But tonight, the Bears needed their guy to go toe-to-toe with San Diego's guy and light up the scoreboard, and he responded.

The Bears needed a showing like this on offense. They needed a game where the defense had shut down Matt Forte and Cutler proved to everyone that that wouldn't be enough to beat this team. Last week against Detroit the defense and Devin Hester had made any risk-taking on offense unnecessary. Tonight, Cutler had to drop back and sling the rock, and he put up a 31 point bomb while accounting for 3 total TDs and 297 yards of offense. Like a franchise quarterback would do.

The Good:
Jay Cutler: I'll just post his statline here: 18/31 for 286 yds, 9.2 YPA, 2 TDs, 1 INT (that came when Knox fell down on a slant. Again.), 5 rushes for 11 yds and a TD. You're the man, Jay. The pass to Roy Williams on third down with a defender draped around him was sheer awesome, and the TD toss to Knox...Jesus. I didn't think throws like that were possible.

Johnny Knox: He's often a punching bag for me, so I'll give Johnny some credit for his 3 catches for 97 yds and a TD. All three catches were beautiful routes, and Johnny even came back for the ball and made a great adjustment on a 42 yard back shoulder throw. Good on ya, Johnny, I'll ignore the slip that caused the interception for now.

Roy Williams: Speaking of punching bags, what the hell got into Roy Williams tonight? 5 catches for 62 yards, all of them great catches showing off good hands. What the hell?

The offensive line: San Diego was keying on the run, much like Detroit, but the offensive line gave Jay all the time he needed, as they kept the sack column clean for the second time in three games. They eventually got the run going there at the end after they'd opened some lanes with the pass. Great effort.

Urlacher/Briggs: San Diego managed 52 yards rushing thanks to these guys. Briggs was a terror in the backfield on nearly every run play, and Urlacher was a force as well.

Major Wright: It's early, but we've seen some signs the last few weeks that Major Wright may be the Mike Brown-esque ball hawk we were told he was on draft day last year.

The Bad:

Charles Tillman: I love you, P'nut, but today was not your day, outside of yet another classic Tillman ball punch. I'm not sure when they're going to learn that Charles isn't the guy to cover a speedster like Vincent Jackson, Steve Smith, or Greg Jennings. Megatron? Randy Moss? No problem, but anybody who can just burn right past Tillman is going to have a big day.

Sloppy Play: Too many penalties, a couple of which called back some great Devin Hester returns. Need to be more disciplined.

The Ugly:

Philip Rivers: Rivers is a talented guy. Smart enough to figure out how to throw the short passes and quick patterns that sometimes give the Lovie defense trouble, but he made the mistake most of the people who aren't Aaron Rodgers make against that D. He got impatient and it led to two key turnovers that sealed the game for the Bears. Also, he's a jag.


That's all for now. Every win at this point is a big one, and next week on the road against Oakland will be the toughest challenge left before the Green Bay game. I'm confident they'll keep rolling, since they showed tonight that even on a night where the two biggest reasons for their success so far (defense and Forte) are struggling, teams are going to have to account for #6. I don't think many teams have enough answers for what the Bears are doing right now. Lovie said that he thought this was the best and most talented team he's ever had in Chicago. I'm really starting to believe him.

Bear down.

(Also, my apologies for the technical difficulties in the SKOsbox this week. The shoutmix people have gotten some strongly worded e-mails. You know they're terrified of me.)

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 11

Jets (5-4) at Broncos (4-5)
Code Red: Much as I loathe the cult of Tebow, I find this Broncos experiment with 1940s football to be quite interesting. It shall fail miserably against the Jets defense, but it shall be a gloriously entertaining failure. Jets win.

Iggins!: Actually the Jets run defense hasn't been as great this season. This'll be close, but I'll take the Jets.

Code Red: Allowing just 3.7 YPC in their last four, I believe. Much like the Bears, they appear to have straightened their defensive issues out, although Rico Mirerez is still there to torpedo their chances.

Mrs. Code Red: I would imagine the Jets' defense is much better than the Chiefs. Blitz him, what's he going to do? Jets win.

Raiders (5-4) at Vikings (2-7)
Iggins!: So last week I picked a couple games I shouldn't have and lost a game in the standings. I told myself I wasn't going to do that this week. Oh well. Vikings win!

Code Red: Well, I guess that means I roll with Oakland.

Mrs. Code Red: God dammit, Iggins!, I wanted to be alone in my Vikings pick. Vikings win.

Bengals (6-3) at Ravens (6-3)
Code Red: The Ravens beat good teams, but play poorly against bad teams. The question is, do they view the Bengals as a good or a bad team? Bah. They've won when I've needed them and Iggins! is crushing on Andy Dalton. Ravens win.

Iggins!: In the sense that Andy Dalton is basically Joe Flacco in his rookie year? Sure then. The Ravens are pretty easy to understand. If they RUN THE BALL they will win. If they run the ball FIVE TIMES like they did against Seattle they will lose. I'll take the Ravens but... I mean they haven't learned yet.

Code Red: Those sonsofbitches better run the goddamn ball. Daddy needs a big game from Ray Rice this week. Also, my Microsoft Word now saves and auto-completes “sonsofbitches” thanks to my frequency of use. Awesome.

Mrs. Code Red: How are the Bengals 6-3? I like Andy Dalton, I feel bad for him that he's in the same rookie class as Cam Newton. Ravens win.

Bills (5-4) at Dolphins (2-7)
Iggins!: This is a solid choice for an upset but I want to believe in the Bills. COME ON BUFFALO. Bills win.

Code Red: Both of these two teams need to end their streaks. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Bills are sliding, but I don't think they'll slide that far. Bills win.

Jaguars (2-7) at Browns (3-6)
Code Red: Oh God, why? That Jags defense is good. Cleveland's offense is brutal. Maurice Jones Drew may be the difference? Jags win.

Iggins!: This game will happen and nobody will know. Jaguars win.

Mrs. Code Red: Well, go for broke seemed to work okay for me last week, so Browns it is.

Cowboys (5-4) at Redskins (3-6)
Iggins!: Good to know the Redskins are just as awful as we all thought. They did the start strong thing last year too. Cowboys win.

Code Red: I think if the Redskins have learned their lesson, they give Shanahan one more year, because I think he has a plan, and he's done a decent job of rebuilding their defense. I think he's had his eye on this year's draft to make his move for a QB, and I have a feeling it'll be Matt Barkley. Anyway, none of this changes the fact that it'll be the Cowboys who win this game.

Mrs. Code Red: My heart says Sexy Rexy, but my head says the Cowboys.

Buccaneers (4-5) at Packers (9-0)
Code Red: Sonofabitch. Packers win.

Iggins!: Packers win handily.

Mrs. Code Red: Stupid Packers. Packers win.

Panthers (2-7) at Lions (6-3)
Iggins!: I want so badly to choose Cam Newton here, but his team just ain't winning. Lions win.

Code Red: Oh fuck it. Save us, Cam. My rage at that bitch Matthew Stafford has not yet abated. Panthers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, I don't think they'll lose to Carolina. Lions win.

Cardinals (3-6) at 49ers (8-1)
Code Red: I'd love if the Bears or someone else can trip up Green Bay and the road to the Superbowl ran through San Francisco. That would be...odd, but better than a trip to Lambeau. 49ers win.

Iggins!: If the Bears lose to the Packers in the NFC Title Game again there will be oceans of blood. 49ers win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll take a gamble and go with the 49ers.

Seahawks (3-6) at Rams (2-7)
Iggins!: What a great game this is! Seattle is rolling, so I'll take the Sea Chickens to win.

Code Red: Seattle's a shit team, but their run defense is pretty good. Their pass defense isn't good, but the Rams have shown no ability to take advantage of something like that. Seahawks win.

Mrs. Code Red: I guess I'll take the underdogs. Wait, who are the underdogs? They both sucks. The Seahawks apparently only beat good teams, so I'll go with the Rams.

Chargers (4-5) at Bears (6-3)
Code Red: I'm no longer afraid that this Chargers team is a typical “waiting for a late run” Chargers team. They're just not very good. Rivers looks like 2009 Cutler, trying to do far, far too much on a team that doesn't have much to offer around him. The Chargers have been gashed by the run and have allowed a QB rating of 96 to opposing passers this year. The Bears win, 28-14.

Iggins!: Yeah the Bears should win this handily, but due to this being a pivotal week for my fantasy team, I'm hoping Ryan Mathews scores a couple TDs. Bears win.

Mrs. Code Red: F*&k you Philip Rivers. Go Bears.

Titans (5-4) at Falcons (5-4)
Iggins!: I approve of the ballsy OT fourth down call. It didn't work, because he isn't Les Miles, but I approve. Falcons win.

Code Red: I think it was incredibly stupid, but I appreciated it since it brought a swift end to that OT game and brought the Bears game onto my TV. Falcons win.

Mrs. Code Red: Hmmm...Falcons.

Eagles (3-6) at Giants (6-3)
Code Red: More prime time EaglesFail! Giants win.

Iggins!: Yeah they suck something fierce. They're like the Knicks from the 00's. Giants win.

Mrs. Code Red: Giants. Most def.

Chiefs (4-5) at Patriots (6-3)
Code Red: God dammit. The Pats have a shitty defense, and yet again their soft schedule is going to lead to 12-13 wins and everyone will forget all about the shitty defense. Sigh. Pats win.

Iggins!: PALKO TIME. My wife is giddy with anticipation, she's been calling for Palko since the preseason. Humorously, I think this game will be close, but the Pats should win. Pats win.

Code Red: Because backup quarterbacks who look great in the preseason are always highly successful in real games. Just ask Todd Collins and Brian Griese!

Mrs. Code Red: I will not be shocked if the Patriots lose this. Patriots win, though.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 12

Standings:
Iggins!: 128-67
Code Red: 123-72
Mrs. Code Red: 115-80

UNC (6-4) at VT (9-1)
Code Red: God dammit, VT. GT had you beat before that dumbass had to cost them and me a win by punching A GUY WEARING A HELMET. VT wins.

Iggins!: There seems to be an epidemic of that. I'm waiting for the first smart guy to remove his opponent's helmet and beat him with it. He might get suspended for the year, but at least we'd all agree that was an intelligent move. VaTech wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Virginia Tech. It only makes sense. Plus we've already established that I discriminate against the Carolinas.

Wisconsin (8-2) at Illinois (6-5)
Iggins!: I was going to correct you, Illinois is 6-4, but really why bother? Wisconsin wins.

Code Red: Well, that was a Freudian slip. Rumors say Zook is gone unless he beats Wisconsin and Minnesota. I bet he wins neither. Wisconsin wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Wisconsin. Zook is gone.

Nebraska (8-2) at Michigan (8-2)
Code Red: Ooh. Both of these teams, they are very similar. I'll take the home team. Michigan wins.

Iggins!: They're the same damn team. Michigan wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oh what the hell? Nebraska.

Penn State (8-2) at Ohio State (6-4)
Iggins!: I don't understand Ohio State, but I'm still anti-kid rape. OSU wins.

Code Red: Ohio State's defense is still excellent, and Penn State's offense is still crapulent. And we're all anti-kid rape. OSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah...I can't pick PSU. OSU wins.

Vanderbilt (5-5) at Tennessee (4-6)
Code Red: Yeah, it's one of those weeks where “Bad but Competitive” gets you on the docket. I guess Vanderbilt?

Iggins!: The fuck is this? Vanderbilt wins?

Mrs. Code Red: Sure, I'll take Jay Cutler's alma mater. Vanderbilt wins.

Miami (5-5) at South Florida (5-4)
Iggins!: I'll take the Canes because I believe every time I've picked USF this year they have lost. Miami wins.

Code Red: I'll take South Florida, because we haven't disagreed yet and I'm running outta time.

Mrs. Code Red: G-reg's Miami Hurricanes.

Virginia (7-3) at Florida State (7-3)
Code Red: Who knew that Virginia was bowl eligible? Florida State wins.

Iggins!: I'll take FSU at home, but VA isn't a bad team.

Mrs. Code Red: Too much agreement this week. FSU wins.

USC (8-2) at Oregon (9-1)
Iggins!: Yeah. Oregon.

Code Red: Definitely Oregon.

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon.

Oklahoma (8-1) at Baylor (6-3)
Code Red: At least RGIII is already bowl eligible. Oklahoma wins.

Iggins!: This seems like a perfect game for Oklahoma to lose, but I just can't pick against them. Oklahoma wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Not Baylor. Oklahoma wins.

Kansas State (8-2) at Texas (6-3)
Iggins!: Texas isn't good. K-State wins.

Code Red: No, they are not. K-State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State. Go Wildcats.