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Friday, October 10, 2014

Kyle is a liar and he will serve an eternity aboard this ship.

I've made that reference twice today and I have no idea why.

Anyway, Kyle swore he was going to write a game recap and an article explaining our absence from the airwaves and then he totally didn't do it and now it's Friday afternoon so I assume he's not going to.

Travis doesn't exist anymore and Kyle had some overtime or something he probably could have explained much better if he'd actually written the article he promised to write, so we haven't all had time for a podcast that would inevitably have just been 40 minutes of Kyle's drunken sobbing anyway.

Me? I've got a different problem. I'm not going to write 2,000 words in the negative column at 2-3, I'm just not. This is a team with issues, but issues they could still theoretically fix and bounce back to a winning season. I had them losing that Carolina game in my opening day predictions anyway, so I'm not gonna write them off yet because they're a game back of where I assumed they'd be.

Unfortunately, I don't have anything in the positive column to really write about, which leaves me at something of an impasse. Kyle Fuller and Willie Young fill my heart with joy. There, I got a good sentence out. I think that's the only one in there right now. I tried again and all that came out was a little flag that said "BANG" on it.

This should not lead you to believe that I don't have 2,000 words loaded and ready to be fired at the negative column should they lose to the Falcons this Sunday. I hate "WE'VE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE MY FRENTS" as much as the next guy; but Jesus Christ you guys, this fucking team. I have a lot of very negative thoughts that I'm not going to put down in writing until I'm utterly defeated, which might be Monday morning.

So like I said, I'm not gonna write that article with 12 weeks left in the season. Talk to me in two days and I may be singing a different tune.

Anyway, if Kyle comes out of hiding and/or Travis phases back into this plane of existence for a few minutes, there will be a podcast next week for good or for ill. I'm going to write a recap if Kyle doesn't, it has traditionally been his province but apparently this whole Goddamn website is my responsibility now. You'll notice nobody took it upon themselves to start sending around the prog while I was away on business. These people.

What was I talking about?

Oh right, blogging. You're getting a big ol' mess of words from me and a podcast next week, I urge you to prevail upon Kyle via Twitter until he carries his weight. As usual, we'll see y'all on Sunday. Go Bears.