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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Dead Period Home Stretch: How to Identify the Danger Signs

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It's the worst time of year right now, Bears fans. You got past the February-May lull where the only football news is draft conjecture that (as we especially have seen) is largely completely goddamned worthless. But now what to look forward to? We have May, June, July, and half of August to sit here and think about football without actually seeing any. And you know what that does to people?:

Yeah. So instead of that, most people just start reading the ESPN NFL tab for offseason news. This, my friends, believe it or not, is even MORE dangerous than taking care of a cavernous hotel, infested with ghosts, cut off from civilization, being directed by Stanley Kubrick. Lucky for you, I'm here to attempt to steer you clear of the many Second Dead Period pitfalls. Without further ado:

1. The "I saw this in practice and it is sure to be a focal point!" wave.

Remember every article you ever read about how Devin Hester "finally got it" and he was going to be a "big part" of the offense? File that here! The most important thing to note about this category is that Michael C. Wright and the rest of the guys who watch practices open to the media have exactly as much evidence and insight into the Bears this upcoming season as we do, they just get paid to write about it.

Consider this: You are coaching a football team. You have hundreds of people surrounding you with high-tech video and audio equipment. These people's jobs are quite literally to lay bare your entire operation. Are you going to give anything away? Yes?... should I bring out more Shining videos to show you what you turn me into?

An interesting note: last season before the preseason Michael C. Wright hosted a chat. He had just reported that Hester would be the #2 receiver, with Alshon in the slot and BBE presumably eating Skittles. I asked, why, why would the Bears do that? It makes no sense! His reply: "I don't know, but that's what I saw!"

So, case closed.