Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Canadian Refugee League


Why are there so many men on the field? What the hell is an Aloutte? If ham is Canadian Bacon, what do they call bacon??

A little confession that I've hinted at before on this site. I f*&king love Canadian Football. Granted it ranks below the NFL, NCAA Football, Arena Football, and Arena Football 2 on my ranks of football leagues, but its football nonetheless, and I enjoy watching it late during summer nights on CSN or wherever the hell its on. I love the 120 yard field. I love the 12 man teams. I love the fact that a punt that lands in the end zone is worth one point. I love that Henry Burris is the world's greatest dual threat quarterback when he's north of the border. But what I love most is seeing which former NFL and college players have taken refuge there. Every summer around the time of the Canadian preseason I check to see what notable names are there, and here are a few that I've seen this year:

On the British Columbia Lions-

Jarious Jackson, Quarterback.
Why you should know him: Jackson was a fairly competent starter in college and once held the Notre Dame record for yards, completions, and attempts during the 1999 season (Brady Quinn would later torch them all). He had a 14-10 record during his junior and senior years, the last two of the Bob Davie era in South Bend. After failing as a quarterback and safety in the NFL with the Broncos, Jackson wound up in BC, where he's been the starter the last two years.

Damian Sims, Runningback.
Why you should know him: He was a fairly decent backup for Albert Young at Iowa during the Drew Tate Era.

On the Edmonton Eskimos-

Jared Zabransky, Quarterback.
Why you should know him: He's the redbearded badass that took Boise State to a victory in the Fiesta Bowl over Oklahoma by executing the worlds most beautiful Statue of Liberty Play in 2007. He was also on the cover of NCAA Football 2009.

Ciatrick Fason, Runningback.
Why you should know him: I don't really know, but I remember he played for the Vikings for a few years under Mike Tice when they had nothing resembling a running game.

On the Calgary Stampeders-

HENRY BURRIS, Quarterback.
Why you should know him: Because he's Crazy Legs Mother F*&kin' Burris, That's why. Somewhat of a cult hero at this website, Crazy Legs left a promising career* with the Bears for CFL glory and finally captured his first Grey Cup last year after throwing for 5,094 yards with 39 tds, and running for 595 yards and 5 tds. Here's a video of him OWNING Montreal's Shit-


Drew Tate, Quarterback.
Why you should know him: Because he was a three year starter at Iowa, one of Iggins! most beloved heroes (until Tate's senior year, when a slump led Iggins! to curse his very name),and he is living up to the many Doug Flutie comparisons he earned in college by playing in the CFL.

Matt D'Orazio, Quarterback.
Why you should know him: D'Orazio was a long time quarterback for the Chicago Rush of the Arena Football League and led them to their first Arena Bowl Championship.

On the Hamilton Tiger Cats

David Ball, Wide Receiver
Why you should know him: Broke Jerry Rice's record for most NCAA Division 1AA touchdown catches.

Airese Currie, Wide Receiver
Why you should know him: A fifth round pick of the Bears in 2005, Currie was supposed to be a burner to pair with Mark Bradley and Bernard Berrian, but was injured his entire time with the team.

On the Toronto Argonauts

Cody Pickett, Quarterback
Why you should know him: The all time leader in passing yards, touchdowns, attempts, and completions for the University of Washington, played for the 49ers from 2004-2006and was so desperate to get on the field that he often played special teams and practiced as a wideout and safety.

Zeke Moreno, Linebacker
Why you should know him: A former USC standout who actually started for the Chargers in parts of the 2001-2003 seasons.

Jarrett Payton, Runningback
Why you should know him: The son of the greatest football player in the history of the sport, Jarrett has played for the University of Miami and the Tennessee Titans.

Reggie McNeal, Quarterback
Why you should know him: A four year starter at Texas A&M despite the fact that he sucked eggs, Reggie got the moron that is Dennis Franchione fired, and for that all football fans should be grateful.

For the Montreal Alouettes

Chris Leak, Quarterback
Why you should know him: A four year starter at the University of Florida who won the game MVP when Florida whalloped Ohio State for the national title in January of 2007. Leak then signed with the Bears and actually led some people to root for him to be the third stringer over Kyle Orton. Naturally those people were f*&king wrong.

Adrian McPherson, Quarterback
Why you should know him: A highly touted high school player who was destined for great things at Florida State, got in trouble with the law over a gambling scandal, was banned from playing college football, spent a few years in the Arena Football League and somehow got drafted by the Saints in the fifth round in 2005. Is suing the Tennessee Titans for 20 million dollars because their mascot hit him with a golf cart during a preseason game in 2006.

*Seriously though, he was awful. But I love him nonetheless