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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 4.

Panthers (1-2) at Bears (1-2):
Code Red: Please God, let them get something figured out here and get healed up/back on track before the MNF game in Detroit. Bears win.

Iggins!: If I were not a Bears fan I would pick Carolina. But I am, so DA BEARS win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears.

Lions (3-0) at Cowboys (2-1)
Iggins!: The Lions have had a very pleasant schedule, haven't they? The Cowboys have no business posing as a 2-1 team. Lions win.

Code Red: I know I said I'd stop hating on the Lions, but Dallas at home is a tough draw. Cowboys win.

Mrs. Code Red: I really don't know. I guess the Cowboys, because I want the Lions to lose?

Vikings (0-3) at Chiefs (0-3)
Code Red: Well, Minnesota has to get a break at some point. Adrian Peterson should be the difference here. Vikings win.

Iggins!: The Chiefs showed signs of life last week, and the Vikings will probably lose after being up 35-0 at the half. Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: Chuckle chuckle chuckle. Vi..kings?

Bills (3-0) at Bengals (1-2)
Iggins!: I am riding the Bills to prognostication glory. CIRCLE THE WAGONS. Bills win.

Code Red: No reason to hop off this bandwagon this week. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bills. Obviously they're somehow actually good.

Titans (2-1) at Browns (2-1)
Code Red: Tennessee has been surprisingly good. The Browns have been playing it way too tight the last couple weeks. Titans win.

Iggins!: Yeah, what the hell? The Titans aren't supposed to be above average! Titans win.

Mrs. Code Red: I don't care? The Titans?

Redskins (2-1) at Rams (0-3)
Iggins!: The Rams look terrible. Redskins win.

Code Red: Really, really terrible. Redskins.
Mrs. Code Red: Sexy. Rexy. Redskins.

49ers (2-1) at Eagles (1-2)
Code Red: Well, my Bears angst is calmed somewhat by the EaglesFail. They should get back on track here, though. Eagles win.

Iggins!: The 49ers are 2-1?! Good God. Eagles win.

Mrs. Code Red: I think Michael Vick is a scam, but the 49ers suck. Eagles win.

Steelers (2-1) at Texans (2-1)
Iggins!: The Steelers appear to be mediocre, and even against the Saints the Texans fought hard. I'll take the Texans here.

Code Red: Houston has to prove they aren't the Texans anymore. Steelers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Texans, because even without Arian Foster (FUCK HIM)* they look good.

Saints (2-1) at Jaguars (1-2)
Code Red: Ha. Saints win.

Iggins!: Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Saints.

Falcons (1-2) at Seahawks (1-2)
Iggins!: Wow there are a lot of good 1-2 teams in the NFC right now. Falcons win.

Code Red: Seattle is not one of them. Falcons win.

Mrs. Code Red: Falcons. They're much better.

Giants (2-1) at Cardinals (1-2)
Code Red: That Cardinals secondary is certainly bad enough to lose to Eli Manning. Giants win.

Iggins!: The Cardinals have not yet figured out how to play offense. Which is odd. Giants win?

Mrs. Code Red: Giants.

Patriots (2-1) at Raiders (2-1)
Iggins!: The Raiders are a good team, they just don't match up well against the Pats. Patriots win.

Code Red: The Raiders could shoot out with the Patriots just as well as they did with the Bills, but Tom Brady will probably be too much. Patriots win.

Mrs. Code Red: Do the Patriots ever lose two in a row? Patriots win. WELKAH.

Broncos (1-2) at Packers (3-0)
Code Red: Well, this should be quite the brutalization. Packers win.

Iggins!: There are states in which showing this type of disgusting massacre would be illegal. Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: That's humorous. Packers.

Dolphins (0-3) at Chargers (2-1)
Iggins!: The Fins... wow. Maybe even moreso than the Vikings these guys find a way to lose. Chargers win.

Code Red: Damn you. Keep picking your beloved Dolphins, moron! Chargers.

Mrs. Code Red: Chargers, and Philip Rivers better have a damn good day.*

Jets (2-1) at Ravens (2-1)
Code Red: The Ravens are the better team, and they're at home. Ravens win.

Iggins!:Rex Ryan, I will reiterate, is an idiot on offense. And that will doom him until he starts acting like the Raiders instead of the frigging Saints. Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: I guess I'll play defensive bukakke. Ravens win.

Colts (0-3) at Bucs (2-1)
Code Red: Well, this must have looked like a much better game in the offseason. Bucs win.

Iggins!: Lots of fantasy points for Blount here. Bucs win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bucs.

Prognostication Bukakke NCAA Week 5

Rough week last week. For the first time in two years, Iggins! now holds a lead in the prognostication bukakke. This cannot last.

Iggins!: 34-18
Code Red: 32-20
Mrs. Code Red: 29-23

This week's picks:

Northwestern (2-1) @ Illinois (4-0)

Code Red: Even with the return of Dan Persa, Northwestern doesn't appear to be as talented as Illinois, and Illinois is at home. The Illini win.

Iggins!: It looks like Illinois got the Zook out of their system last week, so Illinois wins here.

Mrs. Code Red: Illinois. Native state, homes.

Arkansas (3-1) @ Texas A&M (2-1)

Iggins!: That was a pretty epic meltdown by A&M last weekend. They'll get an early welcome into the SEC here. Arkansas wins.

Code Red: Sigh. I was hoping you'd pick A&M. Arkansas.

Mrs. Code Red: Texas A&M. Not sure why. I just kind of like the Aggies.

Auburn (3-1) @ South Carolina (4-0)

Code Red: This is exactly the kind of game Spurrier would find a way to lose, but I'll stick with the logical odds. South Carolina wins.

Iggins!: South Carolina has been trying to lose all season, but they just can't! So until they do I'll say South Carolina wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll go with Cam Newton. He was at Auburn last year, and now he's in the Carolina region, so South Carolina wins.

Michigan State (3-1) @ Ohio State (3-1)

Iggins!: Here stand two very underwhelming Big Ten teams. I feel like MSU should be better, so I'll take Michigan State to win.

Code Red: OSU sucks. MSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: The Ohio State University.

Baylor (3-0) @ Kansas State (3-0)

Code Red: I don't think anyone has noticed that both of these teams might be kinda good. I'll roll with Robert Griffin III and Baylor. Baylor Wins.

Iggins!: That was a nice win against Da U last week for K State, but Jacory Harris ain't no Robert Griffin. Baylor wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State because I hate Baylor, since I had a professor who was a Baylor alumnus who annoyed the crap outta me.

Air Force (2-1) @ Navy (2-1)

Now I'm picking service academy games? Jesus. Air Force wins using their secret weapon: T-REX IN JETS.

Code Red: Coach Unspellable Name for the win. Navy.

Mrs. Code Red: Go Navy, because my Dad was a sailor. Navy wins.

Miss. St (2-2) @ Georgia (2-2)

Code Red: The SEC's two most disappointing teams meet. I'll give the Bulldogs the edge here. Ha. Ha. I make a funny. MSU wins.

Iggins!: The difference is that Georgia has looked much better. MSU appears to suck. Georgia wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I pick the red and black team. Ha. Ha. Georgia.

Clemson (4-0) @ Virginia Tech (4-0)

Iggins!: Crap. Now Clemson is winning the big games they normally lose! If I pick Clemson they will certainly lose, so I'm pick Virginia Tech to win in hopes that Clemson makes me look stupid.

Code Red: Never. Trust. Clemson. Virginia Tech.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll go with the Hokies, because I just found out that means turkey. Awesome. Virginia Tech wins.

Nebraska (4-0) @ Wisconsin (4-0)

Code Red: Now things get interesting. I think Russell Wilson gives Wisconsin the edge. Badgers win.

Iggins!: The Big Ten is basically Wisconsin and a bunch of slightly above mediocre teams (Illinois may be slightly better than that). So Wisconsin wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll go with the Huskers. Nebraska wins.

Alabama (4-0) @ Florida (4-0)

Iggins!: You know my policy on Trent Richardson. Alabama wins.

Code Red: Sigh. I'll be the gambling man. Florida wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Alabama. Florida is so 2008.