Thursday, November 4, 2010

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 9

San Diego @ Houston
Code Red: At some point , things have to turn around for the Chargers. They have the #1 offense, #1 defense, and the #1 point differential in the NFL. The football Gods aren’t that cruel. Chargers win.

Iggins!: Turnovers and penalties is their problem. The big matchup here is Rivers versus what the Texans call a “pass defense”. I just call it shit. Chargers win.

Chicago @ Buffalo
Iggins!: If Cutler doesn’t bounce back here we can assume he has regressed to last year’s form, and I will start cheering for the Texans and Titans in earnest. But for now ROSE COLORED LENSES BEARS WIN.

Code Red: Mother of God, please don't embarrass us in front of the Canadians. Bears win.

New England @ Cleveland
Code Red: I guess if Cleveland can beat the Saints, anything is possible. I don’t see Brady turning it over 4 times, though, like Breesus did. Patriots win.

Iggins!: The Patriots are infuriatingly consistent. Patriots win.

Code Red: I loathe New England. That said, I would cut off several appendages if the Bears could be run exactly like them.

Arizona @ Minnesota
Iggins!: Guh. What a crappy game. If Tarvaris plays the Vikings will win. As it stands I think Favre will screw the Cards out of a win here. Cardinals win.

Code Red: I'm assuming you meant screw the Vikings out of a win, but damned if I'm going to proofread your shit. The Vikings will win, because Jesus, it would take a lot to lose to Arizona at home.

Miami @ Baltimore
Code Red: Miami has played well on the road, but there’s something about them that I’m just not sure about. Ravens win.

Iggins!: Could be that their passing offense looks good in the stat book, but on the field looks like junk? Or that their run-first offense has a mediocre running game? Ravens win.

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
Iggins!: It’s time to admit that Tampa is a good team. Unfortunately the Falcons are the best in the NFC. Falcons win.

Code Red: I won't admit that at all. Falcons win.

New Orleans @ Carolina
Code Red: Saints win.

Iggins!: I really hope the Saints win. Saints win.

NY Jets @ Detroit
Iggins!: Stafford upset! Lions win!

Code Red: Umm, no. Jets win.

Kansas City @ Oakland
Code Red: No. Oakland cannot be in contention. I forbid it. Chiefs win.

Iggins!: Ah, a classic football game. Two good defenses versus two great running games. The black hole wins it for Oakland. Raiders win.

NY Giants @ Seattle
Iggins!: The damn Giants started their turnaround early this year. Giants win.

Code Red: That pass rush is not kind to people of the quarterback persuasion. Giants win.

Indianapolis @ Philadelphia
Code Red: Is Vick back? Actually, I don’t even think that would make a difference. Colts win.

Iggins!: Yeah Vick is starting, but Kolb should. Actually it doesn’t matter who starts, either way the Eagles are a better team. Eagles win.

Dallas @ Green Bay
Iggins!: HAHA Dallas. Green Bay wins.

Code Red: LOLCowboys. The only thing funnier than their 1-6 record would be them pulling off the upset here. Not going to happen, though. Green Bay wins.

Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati
Code Red: Sigh. Poor Bengals. Never going to be good in back-to-back years. Ever. Steelers win.

Iggins!: The sad thing is the Bengals won’t realize they need a new QB for another 4 years. Steelers win.