Due to Red either being
A) Stabbed by someone offended by something he said (40% chance)
B) immobilized because he has let his beard grow for over two weeks and it now weighs 3 tons and stretches around the planet thrice (35% chance)
C) Holding [NAME REDACTED] hostage (15% chance)
or
D) hung over (10% chance)
I feel it is necessary for some college football shit to go down in dis bidniss
-Holy shi'ite today was a fun day for football. Putting aside my own interests (for about three seconds) the number 4 team went down, Alabama won then lost in about three minutes, and Kansas scored 76 on soon to be fired Bill Calahan.
-Now for my interests. Jake Christensen played worse than he has all season for the first quarter (which is saying something). Then he turned into Joe fuckin Montana and tore Northwestern to pieces. I'm still shocked pretty good about that. I can't put too much faith in him, though. I mean, I just saw Griese do the same damn thing.
-Really, there's somethinjg about SEC football that's way better then all other football. It's probably one of these things:
1)They are the best conference in Div. 1
2) They are broadcast on CBS which, though clearly inferior in NFL broadcasting, is clearly superior to all others in college football broadcasting.
3) The games I've seen this year are Fla vs. Kentucky, LSU vs. Kentucky, Arkansas vs. Alabama, LSU vs. Auburn, and todays game Alabama vs. LSU.
-As I am typing this Matt Ryan looks like he's about to do the same thing he did last week, hopefully sans-vomit. If I jinx him, I apologize. (ed. Sweet Fancy Moses FSU's punter just kicked the most beautiful kick to ever be kicked.)
- Watching Minnesota is like watching Iowa, and by that I mean it BURNNNNSSEEESSSSS. Next week's battle for Floyd of Rosedale is going to be horrifying.
Do I really want it that bad? Yes. Oh God
I love this pig.
-Oh my Nebraska sucks hardcore. Or maybe Kansas is good. I prefer to believe a third option: both Nebraska and Kansas were afraid the Mangino would eat them if Nebraska won.
OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT'S HUGE!!!! Let's throw the ball
50 times with a first-time starter! That ought to appease it.
-No Bears game tomorrow so its basically wait for the Patriots/Colts game.
What should you do while you wait? Watch the cheerleaders.
It's more exciting than watching the Chargers play
the Vikings, at least.