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Sunday, December 22, 2013

Eagles A Lot, Bears 11- Forget What I Said About Fun

As of right now the Eagles have 54 points. They may hit 60. I'm going to go ahead and write this recap now. It'll be quick.

This sucked. Oh my God did it suck. Yet next week we could forget all about it if they beat Green Bay. Or not. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.


The Lions and Packers: They lost. The Bears still control their own fate and Rodgers isn't playing next week. I guarantee it. He's not going to magically heal in another week, folks. If Green Bay wasn't going to risk him this week they won't next week. The Bears can still easily make the playoffs. Not that we'll want to see what's going to happen when they do.

The Bad: 

The offensive line: I'm going to start here, because we expected the defense to suck. Odds are there was no fucking way the offense at it's best could win a shootout with a team that was going to run for 300 yards, but they couldn't even get started in that direction thanks to an abysmal performance in run and pass blocking by the line and Matt Forte. I got horrible flashbacks to OL's of recent memory, and I didn't like it.

Devin Hester: God. Dammit. Devin.

The Wide Receivers: I refuse to believe that the 31st ranked pass defense in the NFL improved so much that Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery were suddenly incapable of getting open. They dropped several passes as well. It was embarrassing to see the strength of the team fail to show up at all tonight.

Marc Trestman: The game plan was terrible. The short passing game that had worked so well all season was nowhere to be found as Trestman called mostly deep drops and slow-developing routes against a defense blitzing on every down.

Mel Tucker: I know there were injuries, I know guys like Peppers and Briggs are just older and slower, but this was the closest the team came to playing with a full-deck in months, with Ratliff, Paea, Briggs, all playing, and they were utterly destroyed on every play. There's no way coaching doesn't play Some factor in a team that is fooled by every single play-action, every misdirection, and every screen. He may just be a scape goat, but something tells me even at his best Mel Tucker is probably not a great defensive coordinator, and they're going to need one of those going forward.
Lance Briggs: Jesus, what did you eat while you were out, Lance?

Shea McClellin:  Just stop with this. He's not getting any better. He's the worst defensive end in the NFL and I can't even pretend that's hyperbole. Get rid of him.

And the Rest: You all suck.

Adam Podlesh: I won't pretend that the Eagles wouldn't have scored on that first drive even if Podlesh had booted it seventy yards, but he sure didn't help. He's been mediocre at best the last two years.

The Ugly:

Fuck you, NBC:
In case you didn't notice Michael Bush, Eric Weems, and Dante Rosario came in at the same time as Josh McCown. The fucking quarterback controversy graphics can go straight to hell. That was just Remember the Maine-level media bullshit.

Well, I'll see you all next week for the NFC North title game. With any luck we'll all be here commiserating Cam Newton/Colin Kaepernick or whoever else wins the wild card running roughshod over this defense in a few weeks as well. It's not over yet, even if we might want it to be after this.