HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Where was I?
Oh yeah, the Bears just beat the fucking Packers at Lambeau Field. Shea McClellin may have ended Aaron Rodger's season. Josh McCown is now unquestionably the greatest backup quarterback in Bears history. Julius Peppers remembered he was Julius Peppers.
Everything that needed to happen for the Bears to win tonight happened. Now they're staring at a 5-3 record, first place, and the potential return of Jay Cutler next week for a winner take all battle at Soldier Field. I know what I said last week, and I'm an idiot. This shit is still theirs for the taking.
ONTO THE BREAKDOWN:
THE GOOD:
Shea McClellin: Did that really just happen? Shea may still be on path to being a bust, but for one night he was everything we'd ever hoped he'd be, and it may have changed the entire NFC playoff picture. I have no other words. I will need you all to assure me tomorrow that this actually happened.
Julius Peppers: You can't stop time, but sometimes you can tell it to back off for a night. Peppers had a sack, two batted passes, and an interception. If he and Shea can bottle this and take it throughout the rest of the season, this defense might be even slightly less than awful. That may be all they need.
Matt Forte: The Bears offensive game plan without Cutler may not have been the usual "Forte and Defense and Pray" that it was under Lovie, but Forte still put the team on his back in the fourth quarter. The nine minute drive that clinched the game was pretty much all Forte, and he fought for every yard on his way to 125 yards rushing, to go along with 54 yards receiving.
Josh McCown: This may be his last career start. No offense to Josh, I hope it is. If so, he went out with a bang. He completed just 53% of his passes for 6.6 ypa, but he got 272 yds and two beautifully thrown TD passes and did far more than any of us could have ever dreamed he'd do in this game. I hope he sticks around as Jay's caddy for at least one more year, because everyone seems to love him and I understand why now.
Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery: These two. What a gift it is to watch them make DC's pick their poison and lose either way.
Marc Trestman: I am so happy this man is the head coach of the Chicago Bears. On the road, with his backup QB, going up against a defensive coordinator who had never failed to kick the ass of whoever his counterpart in Chicago was at the time, Trestman dialed up a perfect game as the offense compiled 27 points and 443 yards. With their backup quarterback. Not only that, but on 4th and inches, at his own fucking 30, with a 4 point lead on the road in Lambeau Field, he bet on his team and won. I look forward to seeing what this man can do with a team at full strength someday.
The Bad:
The Safeties: Ok. I get that you all were drafted to be Cover 2 safeties and you can't be expected to cover for 5 seconds when the pass rush is inert, but the simple inability to square up a runningback is just inexcusable. Major Wright was just garbage tonight, and Conte was only a hair better. Guh.
Special Teams: A punt block and caught completely off guard on a surprise onside. It's getting old seeing the once Best-in-the-NFL unit play this poorly.
The Ugly:
Jon Gruden: HIS NAME IS ALSHON JEFFERY. ALSHON. JEFFERY.
That's all for now. Holy shit. Ho. Lee. Shit. Go Bears.