Your 2011 Chicago Bears (and, Fuck Yeah, Brandon Meriweather)

Apparently I'm not supposed to be excited about the Bears acquisition of Brandon Meriweather because A) He's an asshole and B) BILL BELICHICK IS TOO SMART TO GET RID OF SOMEONE GOOD. Well, as far as the asshole thing goes they've told me for two years that my franchise quarterback is a cancer and I'm still pretty fond of him. As for B, I'd like anyone to look at the following players who left the Patriot organization and were still productive players for several years: Lawyer Milloy. Ty Law. Asante Samuel. Willie McGinest. Drew Bledsoe. Richard Seymour.

I have a hard time believing that Brandon Meriweather is suddenly a shitty player, unless there's a medical reason for it. If he passes a physical I have a hard time seeing where he's just going to disappear. At the very least, he's one hell of an insurance plan for Major Wright. That should be good news for everyone involved.

That said, it's time for my half-assed preview of the 2011 Bears. I never get much into previews since I spend the whole offseason talking about what I expect, so none of this is really new information. Anywho, let's start with the 53 man roster broken down by position:

Starters in italics-
Offense (24):
QB: #6 Jay Cutler, #12 Caleb Hanie, #10 Nathan Enderle
RB: #22 Matt Forte, #24 Marion Barber, #32 Kahlil Bell, #44 Will Ta'ufo'ou.
WR: #11 Roy Williams, #23 Devin Hester, #80 Earl Bennett, #13 Johnny Knox, #81 Sam Hurd, #18 Dane Sanzenbacher
TE: #87 Kellen Davis, #89 Matt Spaeth, #86 Kyle Adams
OT: #73 J'Marcus Webb, #72 Gabe Carimi, #68 Frank Omiyale,
OG: #60 Lance Louis, #74 Chris Williams, #70 Edwin Williams
C: #63 Roberto Garza, #67 Chris Spencer

Defense (26):
DE: #90 Julius Peppers, #71 Israel Idonije, #96 Mario Addison, #98 Corey Wootton, #94 Nick Reed
DT: #95 Anthony Adams, #69 Henry Melton, #91 Amobi Okoye, #92 Stephen Paea, #75 Matt Toeaina
OLB: #55 Lance Briggs, #53 Nick Roach, #52 Brian Iwuh
MLB: #54 Brian Urlacher, #58 Dom DeCicco
CB: #33 Charles Tillman, #26 Tim Jennings, #30 DJ Moore, #35 Zack Bowman, #21 Corey Graham
S: #46 Chris Harris, #27 Major Wright, #31 Brandon Meriweather, #47 Chris Conte, #20 Craig Steltz, #49 Winston Venable

Specialists (3):
K: #9 Robbie Gould
P: #8 Adam Podlesh
LS: #65 Pat Mannelly

There's a few surprises with the final roster cutdown. I'm still surprised the team is so thin at backup linebacker, and I'd expect at some point they'll find someone and cut DeCicco. Until then, congrats to the rookie. I'm pleased that Martz finally broke down and admitted his offense Does use a fullback and kept one accordingly. I was sad to see Dez Clark go, but Kyle Adams played very well this preseason. Of course, everyone's thrilled to see that Gritty McGrindenwhitey made the roster as a sixth wide receiver, but I'm not sure who he's going to take meaningful reps away from, because I doubt he's a better receiver than Williams, Hester, Knox, or the BBE. Probably a smart move that the team has a billion safeties, since that position always seems to suffer attrition, plus Chris Conte has experience at corner if needed.

On offense this year I'd expect vast improvement. It's dangerous to take too much away from the stellar pass blocking we saw in the last three preseason games, but there's a lot to like about the infusion of size and youth on this offensive line. I think you'll see a much more successful running game from the outset, with the pass blocking to come. The wide receiver corps is undoubtedly upgraded, Marion Barber should be so much better than Chester Taylor that it isn't funny, and the tight ends appear to be capable blockers, which is all anyone will ask of them this year. I'd be willing to stake everything on the 2011 Bears scoring more points than the 2010 edition.

On defense, I'm incredibly psyched about this defensive line. The only sure-fire star may be Peppers, but I don't think there are many teams out there that can bring in fresh, quality bodies at both end and tackle like this team can. There are quality run-stuffers in Anthony Adams, Paea, and Idonije, and young, fast legs that can help on third and long in Okoye, Wootton (assuming he's healthy), Melton, and Toeiana. I'm not sure what to expect from Mario Addison and Nick Reed, but they both had great preseasons and Addison racked up double digit sacks last year at Troy.

Lance Briggs may be a heaping pile of douche, but the linebacking corps should be just as solid as last year if it stays healthy. The safety position may have been upgraded if Meriweather gets up to speed quickly. Corner remains a concern, but if the other units are as good as I hope it shouldn't be too much of a concern since cornerbacks are the sacrificial lambs of Lovie's defense anyway.

I expect good things from this team, but you already know that. I hope you agree with me. It's been another long and painful offseason and everyone and their mother would have you know that the Bears were just a lucky team and that they're screwed this year thanks to the presence of the unstoppable Packers and the ascending Lions. Well, fuck that. Actual football games are about to start, so the meaningless predictions stop here. I'll see you all on Sunday.

Go Bears.

UPDATE: Two seconds after I praise Martz for keeping a fullback, he waives him. There's an open roster spot for now INTRIGUE.

Roster Cutdowns and Week One College Football Observations

The Bears made some interesting cuts recently. Juaquin Iglesias, Jarron Gilbert, Dan LeFevour, Al Afalava, and Josh Beekman all got the axe with the final cutdown. Iglesias and Gilbert were only surprising in that Angelo had the guts to part ways with a couple relatively high and recent failed picks of his (Iglesias has come back to the practice squad, so nothing lost there). Why he can't seem to do the same and simply bench Danieal Manning is another question. The writing was on the wall for LeFevour well before final cuts, so I'm not surprised to see him go at all. I'm also not shocked that the Bengals claimed him quickly on waivers. The kid has talent. If the Bengals are willing to spend the roster spot and the time necessary to make him into an NFL quarterback, they're probably getting a good deal.

Beekman and Afalava truly shocked me, however. I never swallowed the Afalava kool-aid before the start of last season, but it's very shocking to see him go from week one starter to the unemployment line in the course of one season. I at least felt he was better than Josh Bullocks or Craig F%*king Steltz.Considering the injury issues of Manning, Wright, and Chris Harris, I'd have thought it wise to keep Al. Beekman performed adequately as a guard the last two years and seemed to be a natural fit at center when Kreutz is finally done. Hopefully this means that Kreutz has looked healthy enough this offseason to remain an effective starter all year long. It bugs me, however, that this team still lacks a succession plan.


ON TO THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL!

-Illinois is doomed. DOOMED I SAY. God I hate my obligatory rooting interest. Curse my place of birth. I wish I'd been born on vacation.

- Ole Miss-Jacksonville State was hilarious and awesome in a thousand different ways. Tough break, Coach Giggity.

- Lost in the hubbub over North Carolina's valiant comeback effort against North Carolina was the fact that they may not have been down 30-10 in the first place if John Shoop could have been moved to attempt downfield passing BEFORE falling behind by 20 points. Glad to see somethings never change in this crazy world, John.

-I realize UConn isn't a powerhouse, but if Denard Robinson has truly learned how to operate Rich Rodriguez's system with Pat White-ian efficiency, then the Big Ten had best be prepared for some terrifying spread-option chaos.

-Arkansas, SKO's 2010 Mancrush Based Entirely On My Vaguely Homo-Erotic Admiration for Said Team's Quarterback and His Throbbing Armcock, looked pretty damn good in their first cupcake game of the year, with the dreamy Ryan Mallett posting a 225.77 passer rating and 3 TDs in their blowout of Tennessee Tech. Armcock.

- Shame on you if you didn't watch TCU-Oregon State. Here's to a Horned Frog-Boise State national title showdown and BCS anarchy once more.

-Currently watching Boise-VT, and Boise's defensive line looks like it could devour worlds with Cthulhu-esque flair.

That is all for now, minions. I shall post my updated College Football Rankings tomorrow. Football is back. Let us weep the tears of salvation and acknowledge once more the presence of the all-powerful God of Fall.

Bears Final Roster

Congrats, Devin.

Quarterbacks - Jay Cutler, Caleb Hanie

Runningbacks- Matt Forte, Garrett Wolfe, Adrian Peterson

Tight Ends- Greg Olsen, Desmond Clark, Kellen Davis, Michael Gaines

Wide Receivers- Devin Hester, Earl Bennett, Devin Aromashadu, Rashied Davis, Johnny Knox, Juaquin Iglesias

Offensive Linemen- Orlando Pace, Frank Omiyale, Olin Kreutz, Roberto Garza, Chris Williams, Kevin Shaffer, Lance Louis, Josh Beekman

Defensive Lineman- Adewale Ogunleye, Alex Brown, Tommie Harris, Anthony Adams, Marcus Harrison, Israel Idonijie, Jarron Gilbert, Mark Anderson, Matt Toeiana

Linebackers- Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs, Pisa Tinoisamoa, Hunter Hillenmeyer, Jamar Williams, Nick Roach

Cornerbacks- Zack Bowman, Charles Tillman, Corey Graham, Nathan Vasher, Trumaine McBride, DJ Moore

Safeties- Danieal Manning, Kevin Payne, Al Afalava, Josh Bullocks, Craig Steltz

Specialists- Robbie Gould, Brad Maynard, Patrick Mannelly.

Notes- I think they made the right choice on the wideouts. Aromashadu is a more polished and talented receiver than Rideau, and Rashied Davis' solid work as a gunner makes him worth keeping, so long as Aromashadu holds down the slot until Johnny Knox is ready to take it from him. I'm a little surprised they cut Rod Hood and kept Trumaine McBride. All that tells me is that I need to sacrifice even more to C'thulu to ensure that Tillman is healthy enough to go on Sunday.

Not many other surprises other than the Bears actually making the smart move of cutting Brett Basanez and only going with two quarterbacks. Basanez made the practice squad, so he should be there if something should happen. Granted, if anything Does happen to Cutler this year I'll be so far gone from the booze I'll drink to numb the pain every Sunday that I won't even notice Basanez's weak arm out there. Another smart move was stashing Henry Melton on the IR for the year. He's a prospect worth taking another look at next year.

The injury to Kevin Jones hurts as Garrett Wolfe will need to be effective (something he hasn't done at all in his career), lest this team subjects Forte to the kind of abuse he took last year (which would have long term effects, trust me).

Also, Rex Grossman is now officially the back up quarterback for the Houston Texans, and Matt Schaub's already dealing with an injury, so raise your Sexy Rexy Alert to Elevated and keep your eyes on the heart of Texas.