I've Finally Figured It Out

I know now why I truly, deeply hate Josh McDaniels. It isn't just because of his smear campaign against Jay Cutler or his incessant arrogance despite being the guy that traded Peyton Hillis for Brady Quinn. No, it's because I've finally realized who he is. Josh McDaniels, ladies and gentlemen, is the Dave Wannstedt of the 2000s.

Look at the Similarities:

-Both took over for popular head coaches who had won Superbowls in the previous decade but had failed to win in the playoffs after the departure of many of the key players they had inherited (Payton and others for Ditka, Elway for Shanahan).

-Both were given nearly total authority over personnel decisions by the franchise owner, despite neither having any previous head coaching or GM experience.

-Both were young, hot coordinator prospects coming from the "elite" franchise of the decade, the 2000s Patriots and the 1990s Cowboys.

-Both started off surprisingly well, with Wannstedt's 93 Bears starting out 7-5 before a four game losing streak put them at 7-9, while McDaniels 6-0 start last year culminated in a 2-8 record over the last 10 and an overall .500 campaign. Wannstedt even made the playoffs in 1994 and nearly made them again in 1995 before his personnel decisions caused the team to collapse.

-The personnel decisions: Wannstedt made terrible first round picks, including a questionable pick at wideout (Curtis Conway) when the team had much more glaring needs, as well as two failed runningbacks (Salaam and Enis) and a terrible trade for a quarterback.

McDaniels has picked a wideout and a quarterback when those appear to be, if not the strong suit, at least nowhere near the most glaring weaknesses on his team, and he's drafted an underachieving runningback (Knowshon Moreno) which led him to trade away a far better player (Peyton Hillis). He also made a very questionable trade involving a quarterback. Robert Ayers (40 tackles and 2 sacks in 21 games), McDaniels' first round pick at linebacker, has been every bit as questionable as one of Wannstedt's first round picks at the position, John Thierry (never had more than 4 sacks in a season with the team).

- Finally, Wannstedt clearly should have been fired before his team's 8-24 death spiral in 97-98, but McCaskey was unwilling to fire him with money and years remaining on his contract. McDaniel's is just 5-16 in his last 21 games, but will most likely keep his job for another year as Bowlen still owes Shanahan money and would be unlikely to pay two coaches to not coach.

So there you have it, I hate Josh McDaniels because he reminds me of that hare-lipped bastard who nearly ruined my childhood. Fuck you, Josh.

College Football Roundup Week 13

Texas A&M 24, Texas 17
Mike Sherman finally gets a win over Texas and has built a team that could win 10 games if they win their bowl. How the bloody hell did that happen?

Auburn 28, Alabama 27
That was miraculous. The way Auburn's defense was playing in the game (and all season) had me convinced there was no way in hell they'd even come close to a comeback. I was gearing up for a Boise State title run and then... Cam Newton put on his brass balls and stuck it to Saban. Whatever the guy did off the field, he's just unbelieveable on it. Vince Young didn't dominate the college game in 2005 like Newton is doing right now.

Oregon 48, Arizona 29
I don't give a shit about TCU or BCS busting anymore. I want to see Oregon go up against Auburn in the title game.

Nevada 34, Boise State 31
I hate when people blame the kicker for this shit. Boise had a 24-7 lead. Point the finger at every guy in that locker room. It sucks that all of Boise's hard work ended like this, but if they want to talk about fairness, well, every other team in the country plays with the same razor-thin margin of error.

Connecticut 38, Cincinnati 17
A win over South Florida next week will put 8-4 UConn into the BCS. The Big East, Folks. Fuck em.

Michigan State 28, Penn State 22
Ohio State 37, Michigan 7
Wisconsin 70, Northwestern 23

Thoughts: Michigan State is clearly the 3rd best of these three teams. Michigan's defense is so porous that Terrelle Pryor can actually pass against it. Wisconsin is a merciless fear engine that will pummel you into the depths of hell.

Minnesota 27, Iowa 24
Poor Iggins! I normally laugh at Iowa's failures, but he just lost his beloved Floyd of Rosedale. In this case, I'm fucking guffawing.

Arkansas 31, LSU 23
ARMCOCKANSAS mercilessly removes any chance whatsoever of Les Miles backing his way into the National Title game in an apocalyptic scenario.

Oklahoma 47, Oklahoma State 41
Poor OK State. Thought it would finally be there year, but instead Oklahoma locks up the spot in the Big 12 title game against Nebraska. Probably for the best.