Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Iggins! Power Rankings post week 9

Awwww christ the NFL is bad this year. Honestly, with the exception of the top four teams (NE, IND, DAL, PIT) the NFL is either mediocre or bad. The rankings of just HOW mediocre are as follows:

Total Shit, nothing more needs to be said:
32) Miami Dolphins
31) St. Louis Rams


Kellen Clemens!...:
30) New York Jets

Should not have, in any reality, gotten two wins:
29) San Francisco 49ers
28) Atlanta Falcons (At least they have an excuse)


FUCK CINCINNATI:
27) Cincinnati Bungals

They have sucked every year since Elway, damnit:
26) Denver Broncos (But they'll be picked for the playoffs again next year)


Goddamnit:
25) Chicago Bears
24) Oakland Raiders (Janikowski missed a 64 yarder... because it hit halfway up on the right crossbar. The kick would have gone 74 at least. OH MY GOD.)

Bad, but still contending:
23) Baltimore Ravens (Yeah, their record is better than Philly, Zona, Houston, and Minnesota. But that isn't their fault)
22) Philadelphia Eagles
21) Arizona Cardinals

Dangerous but still shitty overall:
20) Houston Texans (Okay, maybe Mario Williams over Reggie Bush wasn't a terrible pick after all. But Sage Rosenfels?)
19) Minnesota Vikings (If they hand the ball off to the AP 30 times a game they might go 8-8. Which is surprising considering they suck at every other offensive position.)

Terrible is the new mediocre!:
18) Buffalo Bills
17) Kansas City Chiefs
16) Carolina Panthers
15) Seattle Seahawks

The upper half of the league? Really? Ewww.:
14) Washington Redskins (VERY VERY lucky to be 5-3.)
13) San Diego Chargers
12) Tampa Bay Bucs (Fear Ernest Graham)
11) New Orleans Saints (Looks like they remembered how to play football. Or at least how to play offense)

In the top ten... oh God what have we come to?:
10) Jacksonville Jaguars
9) Cleveland Browns (I'm gonna vomit)

I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS WILL LAST FOR A DAMN SECOND:
8) Detroit Lions
7) New York Giants

Slightly above mediocre:
6) Green Bay Packers (surviving on Favre's magic, balls, and witch doctoring)
5) Tennessee Titans (Now will you draft some damn receivers?)

Actually good, but won't win the Super Bowl:
4) Pittsburgh Steelers
3) Dallas Cowboys

Fear not, my son:
2) Indianapolis Colts (Remember, my children, that the 1980 USA hockey team got crushed by the Soviet Union 10-3 in an exhibition game just before the Olympics)

Pure, untainted horror, malice, terror, and evil:
1) New England Patriots