Friday, October 21, 2011

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 7

Broncos (1-4) at Miami (0-5)
Code Red: Miami Has to get a win at some point, and this seems like the place. Dolphins win.

Iggins!: Miami is so dysfunctional. They can't get out of their own way, and this is Tebow appreciation day, IN MIAMI, that is not a joke. Broncos win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm taking the Broncos. I mean, Tebow HAS TO WIN, right? He's the Messiah.

Texans (3-3) at Titans (3-2)
Iggins!: Hm. The Titans have looked good in spurts this year, but all three Texan losses came to great teams in close games... I love the Texans so I'll take them here.

Code Red: TEXANS. TITANS. AN EPIC SHOWDOWN IN A DIVISION THAT'LL BE WON BY THE FIRST TEAM TO HIT NINE OR MAYBE EVEN EIGHT WINS. Texans win.

Mrs. Code Red: The only thing I know about the Titans is that they aren't that good. I guess the only thing I know about the Texans is that they aren't that bad? Fuck Arian Foster. Texans win.

Bears (3-3) at Bucs (4-2)
Code Red: Well, damned if one blowout win didn't restore all of my confidence in this team. Wait. No it didn't. Oh well, hopefully the improvement continues and the neutral site should favor the more internationally recognized Bears? Bears win.

Iggins!: Do the Bears run 6 or 7 man protections all game long? Then they win! If they do not they will lose badly. I'll take the Bears cautiously.

Mrs. Code Red: I can't believe the Bucs are 4-2. I've watched two Bucs games, I think, and they look shitty. Bears win. Then again...the Bears have also kinda looked shitty. But the rules are the rules.

Seahawks (2-3) at Browns (2-3)
Iggins!: Ugh. Gotta take the home team. Browns win.

Code Red: These teams make Football Jesus cry. Browns win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm torn between saying the Seahawks and hoping to steal a win, or admitting defeat and playing it safe. I'll play it safe and go with the Browns. Also, no team should put neon green and teal together.

Chargers (4-1) at Jets (3-3)
Code Red: The Jets haven't looked impressive in a single game all year. Chargers win.

Iggins!: If the Jets could just switch their QB they'd have a shot. As it is they're screwed. Chargers win.

Code Red: 'Tis True. Rico Mirerez be all up in yo franchises, ruinings your postseason expectations.

Mrs. Code Red: Yay, Backup team! Go Chargers!

Redskins (3-2) at Panthers (1-5)
Iggins!: The Panthers are the best 1-5 team I may have ever seen (not saying much). Four of their losses were against top flight NFC teams. The Redskins may have been brought back to earth last week, and with Beck starting now I think the Panthers will win.

Code Red: Dammit. You haven't taken any of the teams I was hoping you'd take. Panthers win.

Mrs. Code Red: They benched Sexy Rexy! Cam Newton shall take my revenge! Panthers win.

Falcons (3-3) at Detroit (5-1)
Code Red: If the Falcons can run with Turner and get to Stafford, they could win. I feel that's not going to happen, though. Lions win.

Iggins!: Lions win.

Mrs. Code Red: It hurts my soul, but I think the Lions will win.

Steelers (4-2) at Cardinals (1-4)
Iggins!: Oh Steelers. By many, many points.

Code Red: THE WHISENHUNT BOWL. Steelers win.

Mrs. Code Red: This week sucks. Steelers win. Why does Arizona even have a team?

Chiefs (2-3) at Raiders (4-2)
Code Red: Trading away your entire future (a 2011 1st rd pick and a 2012 2nd rd (that could become a 1st) for a fading quarterback?) is bad. However, a heavy dose of Run DMC should be enough to sneak the Raiders past the Chiefs. Raiders win.

Iggins!: The Bengals certainly kicked some ass with that trade. The Chiefs figured out their identity the two weeks they had before the bye, But I think the Raiders are too good. Raiders win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Chiefs are gonna win sometimes...and they've been looking better, but the Raiders seem to be a much better team. Raiders win.

Packers (6-0) at Minnesota (1-5)
Iggins!: MASSACRE. Packers win.

Code Red: So much blood. I've decided that this year's Packers team is a better version of last year's Patriots. Their offense is seemingly unstoppable and you just hope some divinely inspired team can find a way to bump them off in the playoffs before they can make a run at title #2. Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Well, this is laughable. Packers win, but should the Vikings pull it off I can only assume divine intervention is involved.

Rams (0-5) at Cowboys (2-3)
Code Red: Sam Bradford should give Tim Couch a phone call to get some advice on dealing with life as a first overall pick suffering on a franchise with no talent. Cowboys win.

Iggins!: The Rams are confusingly terrible. Even Romo can't choke this one up. Cowboys win.

Mrs. Code Red: Cowboys, even though Tony Romo has found a way to blow everything so far, I think he and Miles Austin will get the Cowboys and my fantasy team on track here.

Colts (0-6) at Saints (4-2)
Iggins!: What a terrible lineup of games this week! Saints win.

Code Red: Indeed. Bad week to try and advance in the standings. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Colts are gonna win at some point. This is so not that point. Saints win. (plus, Drew Brees has the cutest baby in the world).

Ravens (4-1) at Jags (1-5)
Code Red: Oh come on. Who thought this was going to be a good game even before the season? Ravens win.

Iggins!: This is going to be one of the most boring weeks of football I have ever witnessed. Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: Ravens. Why is this televised?

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 8

So I skipped last week due to gross negligence on my part. Two weeks ago I cut Iggins' 8 game lead down to five. We'll see if I can make some more headway.

UNC (5-2) at Clemson (7-0)
Code Red: Per usual, it wouldn't shock me if they lost. However, Clemson is legitimately good. Clemson win.

Iggins!: I will pick Clemson until they lose from now on, I guess, so they'll probably be losing this week. Clemson wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Clemson, because they're undefeated. Logic.

Auburn (5-2) at LSU (7-0)
Iggins!: LSU. By a lot.

Code Red: Oh definitely LSU. The games suck this week.

Mrs. Code Red: LSU. They're really good.

Wisconsin (6-0) at Michigan State (5-1)
Code Red: Michigan State did a nice thing by dispelling the illusion that Michigan was good. However, Wisconsin is a murderous juggernaut. Wisconsin wins.

Iggins!: Wisconsin is much better than 6th in the nation. Wisconsin wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Wisconsin. Because they're a better team, maybe a national title team.

Washington (5-1) at Stanford (6-0)
Iggins!: Fun fact, neither of these teams has beaten a team with a winning record yet this season. In other words, Washington isn't actually good. Stanford wins.

Code Red: Andrew Luck is dreamy. Stanford wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Stanford I guess. This week does suck.

Penn State (6-1) at NW (2-4)
Code Red: Northwestern's due to break out at some point. NW wins.

Iggins!: I have to say Northwestern wins here if only because all you need to beat PSU is a great offense.

Mrs. Code Red: Northwestern. I think they tend to pull games out of their asses.

Cincinnati (5-1) at USF (4-2)
Iggins!: A BIG EAST SHOWDOWN. The conference of six! Soon to include perennial powers like SMU... and Navy... let us all hope this removes the Big East's autobid. USF wins?

Code Red: Cin..ci..nn..ati?

Mrs. Code Red: Should I care? Does anyone? Cincinnati (the town) sucks, I think. USF wins. Their win over Notre Dame is meaningless, but it's still the best thing either of these teams has done.

USC (5-1) at Notre Dame (4-2)
Code Red: Ah, both of these once proud teams are pretty mediocre. USC's defense blows. I think Notre Dame will take advantage. ND wins.

Iggins!: I'll take Notre Dame because of home field advantage.

Code Red: You sonofabitch. TAKE USC, DADDY NEEDS THE WINS.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll take USC, then. Bitches.

Utah (3-3) at Cal (3-3)
Iggins!: This is tough. I'll take Utah because Cal is so goddamned irrelevant.

Code Red: I'll take Cal because Utah is so goddamned irrelevant.

Mrs. Code Red: This whole damn week is irrelevant. U..tah?

Texas Tech (4-2) at Oklahoma (6-0)
Code Red: There were only a few good games this weekend. This isn't one of them. Oklahoma wins.

Iggins!: Oklahoma wins by 50.

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma. There's no way Texas Tech can win this.

Oklahoma State (6-0) at Missouri (3-3)
Iggins!: Missouri was very overrated this season. OK State wins.

Code Red: If they were rated at all they were overrated. No one should have looked at Missouri and said “oh, they merit discussion.” OK State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma State.