Thursday, November 10, 2011

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 10

Raiders (4-4) at Chargers (4-4)
Code Red: Both of these teams are a goddamn mess. The Chargers have to win this, right? I don't want them coming into Chicago on a terrible three game losing streak. Chargers win.

Iggins!: Like that would matter? You really think the Chargers are good there, don't you? I may not think they're good, but Palmer has looked so bad I can't do anything but pick the Bolts to win at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Chargers. Please God, Philip Rivers. Get your shit together. It has to happen eventually, right? Right?

Bills (5-3) at Cowboys (4-4)
Iggins!: Yeah, I'm not gonna pick the Cowboys. They don't exactly have the Jet's defense. Bills win.

Code Red: I fear the Bills may be fading, but Dallas sucks. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, Bills. I'll never trust Tony Romo, especially not when Miles Austin is hurt again.

Saints (6-3) at Falcons (5-3)
Code Red: The Saints should set themselves firmly at the top of their division after this one. Saints win.

Iggins!: I have to pick Breesus here. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Saints. Do I need to justify picking Breesus?

Texans (6-3) at Buccaneers (4-4)
Iggins!: ARRRRRRRRRIAN FOSSSSSSSSSSSSTER. Texans win.

Code Red: Troll hard, sir. Troll hard. Texans win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, I guess the Texans are alright. Good balance. I like Ben Tate. Promising young RB they have there. Texans win.

Rams (1-7) at Browns (3-5)
Code Red: Oh, this is awful. St. Louis managed to lose to the Cardinals last week, but I still think they'll find a way to overcome a Browns team that's just terrible and has no offense at all. Rams win.

Iggins!: Ima recap for you. The Rams scored 13 points against Arizona last week. Four of those points were safeties. I'll take the Browns at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Hmm...I'm gonna go with the Rams. If Sam Bradford's going to get it together, ever, it'll be here.

Steelers (6-3) at Bengals (6-2)
Iggins!: It looks like the Bengals have three games left they will most likely win, then two each against the Steelers and Ravens and one against Houston. If they can just pull the upset in one they might make the playoffs... oh why the hell not. CINCINNATI WINS.

Code Red: You're a mad man. Pittsburgh wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm also going to roll with Andy Dalton, the Ginger Rifle. Bengals.

Code Red: The whole damn world is mad.

Redskins (3-5) at Dolphins (1-7)
Code Red: Oh God, this is another awful one. Also, if you haven't seen the interview where Mickey Rourke describes Rex Grossman as a “trainwreck with balls,” you absolutely must. http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Rex-Grossman-is-Mickey-Rourke-8217-s-favorite-q?urn=nfl-wp10983. Shanny should definitely put Rex back in, because he's far more entertaining than Beck. I expect the Skins defense (which is pretty good, actually) to win this one in an ugly, unwatchable contest. Redskins win.

Iggins!: This could be one of the worst games you will ever see (Though I doubt much of the country will see it). I'll take Miami at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Sexy Rexy should come back. I bet it'll happen here, with heroic results. Redskins win.

Titans (4-4) at Panthers (2-6)
Iggins!: Killa Cam has had very little to do with the Panther losses. If Carolina can add one more good receiver, kill Deangelo Williams, and upgrade the defense just a little bit they're a 10-11 win team next year. I'll take Carolina to win here.

Code Red: Isn't it odd? The Panthers are 2-6, and yet every week I'm inclined to pick them. I'll do it again here. Panthers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Umm...it's so hard to pick against Cam Newton. I won't. Panthers win.

Cardinals (2-6) at Eagles (3-5)
Code Red: Per usual, the Bears get a great win and the dominant theme is still “what's wrong with [insert Bears opponent]. I've heard several people talk about how the Eagles “didn't show up.” Oh well. The Eagles will break through here.

Iggins!: That's odd. All I saw on ESPN is that the Bears are really good, and Mike Florio was on the radio saying the same thing. You sound like an Iowa State fan there, Red. It does not count as breaking through to beat AZ, it counts as taking candy from a baby. Eagles win.

Code Red: Sadly, it was mostly on Chicago's own local sports radio. Philly did show up, Hub Arkush. They showed up and got their asses soundly kicked.

Mrs. Code Red: Eagles, I guess.

Broncos (3-5) at Chiefs (4-4)
Iggins!: That was an awful, awful thing that happened last week. I'll take the Chiefs to win for one more week, but if they lose here I'll have to forsake them.

Code Red: I'll take the Chiefs here because the cause of stopping Tim Tebow-mania is a cause dear to the hearts of all red-blooded Americans. Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: Chiefs. Tebow still sucks, no matter how bad Oakland's defense is.

Jaguars (2-6) at Colts (0-9)
Code Red: So many awful matchups this week. The only unit out of the four involved in this game that is any good is the Jaguar defense, so I'm taking Jacksonville.

Iggins!: This is the Colts' best chance for a win, but I'm pretty sure they want the #1 pick more than a win. Jaguars win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, Jags.

Ravens (6-2) at Seahawks (2-6)
Iggins!: Yeah. Ravens.

Code Red: Who the hell is responsible for firing Pete Carroll? Why hasn't said person done so? He clearly has no vision. They have a decent defense built mostly out of retreads that can't be built around for the future, they have no offensive line (apparently Chris Spencer wasn't part of the problem, eh?), and their coach personally identified Tarvaris Jackson as his guy and actively pursued him in free agency. THIS MAN DOES NOT NOW HOW TO MANAGE A FRANCHISE. Anywho, Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm gonna go out on a limb and take the Ravens.

Giants (6-2) at 49ers (7-1)
Code Red: This should be interesting. Eli's been playing well this year, but the Giants tend to struggle when they can't run the ball at all, which tends to be the case against this awesome 49er front seven. I'm going to say the Giants still find a way to win this one.

Iggins!: I have to agree. The 49ers aren't as good as their record suggests. Giants win.

Code Red: They'll still be the two seed, because no one in that division can even dream of moving the ball against that defense of theirs. They're very 2005 Bears-like, but the NFC isn't as weak now as it was then.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, Eli is playing surprisingly well. Giants win.

Lions (6-2) at Bears (5-3)
Code Red: Last time, the Bears controlled the clock, outgained the Lions for most of the first three quarters, and then repeatedly shot themselves in the foot with penalties, bad decisions, and big plays. Since then they've been a 100% completely different team. I think it'll be enough. Bears win, 27-13.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears. That is all.

Iggins!: Bears. That is all.

Patriots (5-3) at Jets (5-3)
Iggins!: People have figured out the Patriots, and Rex Ryan has Brady's number. I'll take the Jets.

Code Red: I want to go with the continued decline of New England. There certainly are more dark days ahead. But I just can't imagine New England losing three in a row yet. Patriots win.

Mrs. Code Red: Dammit. I can't do it. I can't go against them. Patriots win.

Vikings (2-6) at Packers (8-0)
Code Red: The Packer aren't much different than the Pats, in that their defense has been bad enough this year that they'll probably lose the first time Aaron Rodgers has a less than outstanding game. I don't know when someone will make that happen, though. It won't be Minnesota, at least. Packers win.

Iggins!: The Patriots are getting beaten because defenses figured out that, without Randy Moss, they have no vertical passing game, so every throw is made in the same 25 yard area. The Packers aren't being figured out because Aaron Rodgers isn't good because of a scheme, he's just good. Saying they'll lose if he has a bad game is like saying the Cubs will win the World Series if they stay healthy. What are the odds? Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Packers. Sigh.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 11

Iggins!: 115-54
Code Red: 109-60
Mrs. Code Red: 101-68

Virginia Tech (8-1) at Georgia Tech (7-2)
Code Red: It's getting late in the season. It's gambling time. Paul Johnson's gonna find a way to ruin VT's typical run to ACC dominance the most boring BCS bowl game. GT wins.

Iggins!: Just because GT beat Clemson doesn't mean they're good! Clemson does that all the time. I'll take VaTech to win.

Mrs. Code Red: Virginia Tech, because they have a better record. Science.

Nebraska (7-2) at Penn State (8-1)
Iggins!: So my greater theory for football this season is that games have almost universally been decided by matchups, not talent. So, under normal circumstances, I would take PSU because their defense is pretty much built to stop Nebraska. HOWEVER, when your head coach and entire administration have been outed as cowardly accesories to child rape, I pretty much can't pick you. Nebraska wins.

Code Red: Yeah, I can't pick Penn State here. May they rot. How fitting is it that Joe Paterno's last game, naturally, was a victory over Ron Zook's idiotic prevent defense. Nebraska wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Hmm...are they going to come out inspired, or will this overwhelm them? Plus, I don't want to be the person that chooses them. Nebraska wins.

Michigan State (7-2) at Iowa (6-3)
Code Red: Not MSU on the road. Made that mistake twice. Iowa wins.

Iggins!: There are so many reasons Iowa will win this game. They're unbeaten at home, MSU sucks on the road, MSU almost always loses at Kinnick, MSU runs a pro-style offense which almost always gets beaten by Ferentz. Just pick Iowa. Hawkeyes win.

Mrs. Code Red: Dammit, I was hoping my Iowa pick would be an upset. Iowa wins.

West Virginia (6-3) at Cincinnati (7-1)
Iggins!: WVU is extremely mediocre, so I'll take a slightly less mediocre Cincinnati team to win.

Code Red: The Big East is so mediocre, that I'll take West Virginia to fuck things up. They are still mediocre, though.
Mrs. Code Red: I guess I, too, will give West Virginia a shot. WVU wins.

Miami (5-4) at Florida State (6-3)
Code Red: I don't think Miami's defense can slow down EJ Manuel and the FSU offense. FSU wins.

Iggins!: I do not care, the ACC is a damned basketball conference anyway, so I'm betting they don't care right now either! FSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: G-Reg's Miami Hurricanes. Why not?

Texas A&M (5-4) at Kansas State (7-2)
Iggins!: K-State will overcome a three TD deficit to win or something. K-State wins.

Code Red: Indeed, Mike Sherman has transported his ability to blow big games despite a talented team has translated quite nicely from Green Bay to Texas A&M. K-State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State. Doesn't Texas A&M lose every game they ever play against anyone good?

Michigan (7-2) at Illinois (6-3)
Code Red: Teams like Michigan don't give Illinois that much trouble. They don't have the stellar defense that OSU and Penn State have. I think they can win the shootout. Illinois wins. (all of this bluster is bullshit, and I fully expect Zook to nosedive this thing to 6-6).

Iggins!: Let's review. The Illini beat five very bad teams and one team (AZ State) that always loses when they're away from the coast to start the year. They have lost their last three games playing mediocre to good teams, and they have looked godawful doing it. Michigan will win. By a lot.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah...Michigan.

Auburn (6-3) at Georgia (7-2)
Iggins!: The Dawgs are a damn fine team, and Auburn is unfortunately just a rung below that. Georgia wins.

Code Red: Georgia is good. Georgia is at home. Georgia is winner.

Mrs. Code Red: Fuck it, Auburn. Gamblin' time.

Washington (6-3) at USC (7-2)
Code Red: Good for you, Washington. Staying relevant somehow. USC's offense at home, though? USC wins.

Iggins!: I'll take USC, I guess.

Mrs. Code Red: USC. They have Matt Barkley, and he is good.

Oregon (8-1) at Stanford (9-0)
Iggins!: The funny thing is we can't tell how good Stanford is because nobody in the Pac-10 has a good out-of-conference win. NONE OF THEM. Oregon put up a fight against LSU, but that game was a bigger beatdown than 40-27 suggests. I'll take Stanford at home, but let it be known that I don't trust how good either of these teams are.

Code Red: I, too, shall take Andrew Luck. Stanford had a big lead in this game before the spread methodically wore them down on the road. I think they're much better prepared for this one. Stanford wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon. What the hell? Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Code Red: I like this go for broke strategy. I am too chicken to employ it, but I admire your gumption.