Monday, October 15, 2007

College Football Round Up and Code Red Rankings 10/15/07

In wake of Illinois' disappointing bounce from the 25, which they admittedly deserve, other than the fact that if a two loss Michigan team that lost to Appalachiafuckin State can be ranked, than a two loss Illinois team that lost to a ranked team and an in-conference rival, should probably be ranked as well, and after Kentucky's upset win over LSU (golf clap for Iggins! for predicting said upset. *clap* *clap*), Cal's loss to Oregon State, and the fact that Ohio State is now #1 and South Florida is #2, which sums up everything that is wrong with the BCS, I am not going to do a game by game roundup of the past week's top 25 results, as the entire ranking system and BCS is a damned sham and anyone who puts any stock into any rankings until the BCS is finally abolished French Revolution style is a miserable sheep and a terrible human being,

Storm the BCS! Behead Myles Brand!

instead, I'm going to post a completely inane top 25 ranking list that will somehow magically hold all the validity of the AP and BCS rankings. Because if an Ohio State team with zero quality wins and SOUTH FUCKING FLORIDA are 1 and 2, justice has evaporated from the world, and any miserable little shit head who tries to tell you that the BCS is great because every college game is now a playoff is a moron. Yes, every game is playoff. I'm sure Ohio State sat there reviewing the film and chanting "play like there's no tomorrow" as they marched out to whomp ass on Kent State, while LSU had to march into Kentucky, a resurgent program that now proves there really is no easy game in the entire SEC, and was taken down in one colossal struggle that should give both of the participants a chance at a national title down the road. But it won't, because now that the BCS has finally proven without a doubt that it is a miserable failure, you'll have an undefeated Ohio State team from the Big Ten in one of its least competitive years later playing for the national title, while an LSU/Kentucky/Florida team that will be the best in the land will be pasting Wisconsin in the Capital One Bowl. Fuck you, college football, let it finally be settled on the field.

So here are my rankings

1. Texas Tech
2. Louisiana-Monroe
3. Spain
4. This Cheese Sandwich


5. Illinois Weslayan
6. Burritos
7. North Glendale High School
8. Voltron

9.Middle Tennessee State
10. The Chinese restaraunt I go to in Campustown. They have the best fucking egg rolls known to man.
11. Tom Jones

12. Bisquit. Iggins! dog with the misspelled name. She rocks.


13. Ole Miss (fear the Orgeron)
14. Dramatic Squirrel


15. Bill O'Reilly
16. Billy Bob Thornton
17. 1999 Dodge Neon


18. Johnny Walker Black Label


19. ESPN 8, The Ocho
20. Miami Dolphins
21. Smokey, my beloved deceased cat.

The world was not enough for you, Smokey..

22. That thing in the back of your mouth? the hangy thing? I'm ranking that here.
23. The Catholic Church
24. James Lipton

Ha Ha Ha..Delightful

25. Think of the sluttiest girl you've ever known. Rank her here.