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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Bears 16, Dolphins 0. The Return of BEAR FOOTBAW

Expect plenty of happy Bears fans and Doug Buffones this week. Chicago won tonight using the city's favorite style of football. The offense didn't have to do much, as the defense was more than willing to slap Tyler Thigpen around whenever he got cute and acted like he belonged on the same field as them. Overall, solid game by everybody except J'Marcus Webb. TO THE RECAP:


Matt Forte: He came up just shy of a hundred yards, but Matt did an excellent job moving the chains tonight. This is the first game in a while where Matt went out and took over. The Carolina game was nice, but this is the game Forte needed to have to silence some of his critics he think he doesn't run hard or decisively.

Julius Peppers: He should really be in this category every week. I know he only had 2 sacks coming into tonight, but is there any doubt that the defensive resurgence this year is 50% Julius Peppers, 50% healthy Urlacher/Briggs? The guy just wrecks offensive game plans. He has been instrumental in ruining every team's run game as well. Tonight he erupted for 3 sacks. You're the man, Pep.

Robbie Gould: He's the balls. That is all.

Brian Urlacher: Oh man. He destroyed Thigpen. Congrats on tying Singletary's record for most tackles. Even if I want to facepalm every time you talk, I'll love you forever big guy.

Any other defensive lineman: Melton and Izzy had sacks and the Bears had 6 total. Miami gained just 39 yards rushing. Only 12 yards came from plays that weren't just Thigpen scrambles.

Devin Hester: He put the Bears in good field position most of the night. As usual. He did drop a TD pass, though. So, don't do that.


Jay Cutler: He "managed" the game well most of the night, to use one of my favorite (not) cliches in sports, but that interception was brutal. The Dolphins have a fantastic secondary, but Jay made them look better than they are on a few plays. I won't hate too much, because he's my boy and frankly every completion he had had to be perfect against that secondary, but on a night when everyone else was an A, Jay was a C+

J'Marcus Webb: Okay. Not everyone else was an A. Webb was a big fat pile of FFFFail tonight. Jesus. Cameron Wake should get to take him home as a pet tonight, because he straight up owns Webb's ass.

That's all for tonight. Great win, and 7-3 is damn solid. The schedule doesn't have any easy outs the rest of the way, but that defense (Tyler Thigpen be damned, I don't think anybody'd have been able to beat that defense tonight) will keep them in every one of them. If the offensive line holds it together and Cutler steps it up, they'll be in the playoffs.

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 11

Bears @ Dolphins
Code Red: I don't think people should be salivating like they are over an easy Bears win over a Dolphins team starting Tyler Thigpen and possibly missing Jake Long. I really liked what Thigpen did as a rookie in Kansas City. It'll be interesting to see if Sparano tries to run the ball against the Bears D or if he'll do what suits Thigpen best and spreads it out. That's what Gailey did for Thigpen in KC and it led to an 18-12 TD:INT ratio, pretty solid for a first year player. I don't know if Miami will trust him that much. That said, I really do think the Bears will win this game by a respectable margin.

Iggins!: Thigpen isn’t a terrible QB, but against the Bears defense he will look like it. Not to mention the Dolphin running game is less than mediocre, and they’re facing a great run D. The thing to be concerned about is the fantastic Dolphins pass defense, but I think the Bears will make it through that to pull off a squeaker. Bears win.

Redskins @ Titans
Iggins!: So hopefully Donovan and everyone else has realized he isn’t going to see any of that money in his contract. Titans win.

Code Red: I still don't buy that the Redskins were actually shrewd. There's something hidden and idiotic in that contract. Titans win.

Bills @ Bengals
Code Red: the Bills pick up two wins in a row for the first time since Clinton was in office or can the Bengals snap their seven game losing streak. I'm actually going to roll with Buffalo.

Iggins!: The Bengals will win, and I swear you won’t see so much as a mention of it anywhere outside of Cincinnati.

Browns @ Jaguars
Iggins!: What a ridiculously hard game to pick. The Browns are playing well above how good they are and the Jaguars seem to win or lose via a random drawing. I’ll take the Browns.

Code Red: The Browns are a solid team fundamentally. Jacksonville is not. Browns win.

Lions @ Cowboys
Code Red: For a while the Lions were good but not lucky. Now I think they're just bad. Tough to lose as many close ones as they have, and to lose Stafford again. Cowboys win.

Iggins!: The Lions have a losing mentality. They have lost close games for 4 years now. No reason to expect that to change. Cowboys win.

Raiders @ Steelers
Iggins!: I won’t fall into your trap, Oakland. The Steelers will bounce back here. Steelers win.

Code Red: Agreed. Oakland doesn't have the passing game to attack the Steelers like New England and New Orleans did. Steelers win.

Cardinals @ Chiefs
Code Red: I expect the Chiefs to stop their slide. Their defense is better than it has looked the last two weeks. That, and Arizona sucks like a 53 man roster of Jake Plummers. Chiefs win.

Iggins!: Lots of hate for Jake Plummer from you. Why not pick on Kordell? Chiefs win.

Code Red: Its a long story.

Packers @ Vikings
Iggins!: Favre has a knack for being a dick, I expect him to win here, but I really want him to first break both his legs in this game, then right after the game be informed that he will be suspended for eternity for exposing himself, then get brought to court and registered as a sex offender. So… let’s make that happen. Vikings win.

Code Red: I wish. Packers win.

Ravens @ Panthers
Code Red: Ravens win.

Iggins!: Ravens win.

Texans @ Jets
Iggins!: Oh my beloved Texans, why do you do this every year? Your offense is so stacked! The Texans are in serious need of a new OC. Jets win.

Code Red: They're on pace for the 2nd worst scoring defense of all time and you want to fire the OFFENSIVE coordinator? Jets win.

Falcons @ Rams
Code Red: Ahh. Matt Ryan, former wonder-rookie leading a surprise contender vs. Sam Bradford, current wonder rookie leading a surprise contender. I'll take the veteran. Falcons win.

Iggins!: I need to pick up more games so RAMS in an upset!

Bucs @ 49ers

Iggins!: The Bucs have done a good job of cleaning up all the teams they should this year, so I expect them to win here. Bucs win.

Code Red: The Bucs have another game against the Falcons and the Saints. Those two, plus an upset loss to the Troy Smith-led (Jesus Christ) 49ers should get them out of playoff contention. Where they belong. 49ers win.

Seahawks @ Saints
Code Red: The Seahawks will probably get blown out by 3 touchdowns and then continue on their way to an 8-8 division title. Saints win.

Iggins!: I hate the NFC West with every fiber of my being. Saints win.

Colts @ Patriots
Iggins!: I hate that this is some kind of annual matchup now. I most hate having to hear about it for 7 days until it happens. Patriots win, and let’s be done with this BS.

Code Red: Wait, how did NBC NOT make this the Sunday night game for the first time in 17 years? Colts win.

Giants @ Eagles
Code Red: Michael Vick was outstanding Monday night, and has been all season, but let's not lose sight of the fact that he's yet to face a defense ranked higher than 21st in the NFL as a starter this year. I think the Giants will rebound from their disaster against the Cowboys and hold Vick to non-video game like numbers. Giants win.

Iggins!: I’m going to guess Vick gets injured and Kolb comes in, throws for 300 yards and Shady racks up over 150 total yards, thus causing Philly fan’s heads to explode in confusion over who to hate (because they can’t just love having two good QBs! No, now they have to trade Kolb because keeping the best backup in the NFL for 1.4 million next year to back up your injury prone QB who throws his body around like a kamikaze would be stupid. Fuck you Philly.) Eagles win.

Broncos @ Chargers
Iggins!: The Broncos offense is consistently frightening, it’s just rare to see them get in the end zone as much as they did last week. I’m betting this is one of the weeks where Orton gets 400 yards passing but only 13 points. Chargers win.

Code Red: The Broncos offense is consistently one dimensional and racks up hollow stats against most average-to-above average defenses. The Chargers won't melt down like the Chiefs. Chargers win.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 12

The Standings:

Code Red: 111-59 (62-38 NFL, 49-21 NCAA)
Iggins!: 94-76 (56-44 NFL, 38-32 NCAA)

Yes, that is a 17 game lead. Thanks to a 9-1 streak in my NCAA picks last week (as opposed to a solid .500 for Iggins!) I have absolutely buried my rival. But the charade must continue:

Wisconsin @ Michigan
Code Red: Wisconsin is the best team in the Big Ten without a doubt. Wisconsin wins.

Iggins!: So I was banking on Michigan winning this game before last week, then Iowa did that thing they do every year, but I’ll still bank on Wisconsin screwing this up. Michigan wins.

Virginia Tech @ Miami
Iggins!: Virginia Tech is so goddamned predictable. Throw yourself out of the National Title picture then don’t lose again the rest of the year. Winning when there’s no pressure doesn’t count, Frank. Virginia Tech wins.

Code Red: Wait. Is there ever pressure in the ACC? VT wins.

Illinois @ Northwestern
Code Red: Please, Zook. Get to a god damn bowl game and beat a Northwestern team that doesn't have their starting quarterback. Illini win. Please.

Iggins!: You’re welcome. We injured their QB on the play that cost us the game. I have a sneaking suspicion they have another shifty spread QB ready behind Persa, but I’ll take the Illini to win.

Ohio State @ Iowa
Iggins!: Life sucks. At least I have the Bears? Now that Iowa has no pressure on they’ll probably win by 20. Iowa wins.

Code Red: I actually think Iowa will win this game. They should be able to befuddle Terrelle Pryor and shut down the running game. However, I'm going to pick Ohio State, because I'm going to give this kid a few shots at maybe crawling back to respectability.

Arkansas @ Mississippi State
Code Red: Mallett's armcock will be the difference. Armcockansas wins.

Iggins!: Learned your lesson about betraying Mallett, eh? Arkansas wins.

Oklahoma @ Baylor
Iggins!: Oklahoma is the model of inconsistency, so any pick I give here has a 50-50 shot at being right. I’ll take Baylor at home?

Code Red: I'll take Oklahoma then.

Nebraska @ Texas A&M
Code Red: Hmm. Ryan Tannehill doesn't seem to be the guaranteed 4 pick monster that J-Rod would be in this game. Texas AM may stand a chance, but Nebraska should win.

Iggins!: I don’t want to live in a world where Sherman has a winning team. Nebraska wins.

North Texas @ LA Monroe
Iggins!: What the hell is this shit? What’s the line on this game? You made me do research, asshole! So from what I can tell North Texas has lost all its close games, and ULM has lost by wide margins and won their close games. I will take ULM.

Code Red: I guess I'll take the Mean Green then.

Idaho @ Utah State
Code Red: There were a bunch of shitty games this week, so again I chose to pick some shitty teams. Idaho has a good QB, so I'll take the Vandals.

Iggins!: Did you see that shitheap Idaho calls a stadium? How embarrassing. Utah State wins.

Eastern Michigan @ Buffalo
Iggins!: WOW these teams suck. Buffalo?

Code Red: Eastern Michigan it is.


SKOSCAST tonight at 7:00 PM central time. Game starts at 7:20. Be there or, well, I can't really get mad at you, I've not been in the shoutbox for the last 4 games. But still, I'll be there tonight (and probably intoxicated by halftime), so you should too.

Apologies for the delay in posting this week's Prognostication Bukakke. Iggins! hasn't yet responded to my threats of abuse and gotten his picks in. We'll try to have those up before tonight's game. The kid just doesn't want to wake up and look at his SEVENTEEN game deficit in the standings.

See ya tonight, folks.