Thursday, July 30, 2009

Training Camp Begins Tomorrow! Football!

Today the Chicago Bears start arriving at Olivet-Nazerene University in Bourbonnais, Illinois. There'll be a lot to watch from the start of practice tomorrow, with most people looking for the answers to several questions-

1. How does Cutler look?

2. Do the receivers look much better with Cutler throwing them the ball?

3. Does the offensive line look improved?

4. Does the Defensive line look improved?

5. Is the safety position anything other than a heaping pile of fail?

6. Does Brian Urlacher look like his old self?

7. Is Tommie Harris healthy?

8. Will Pisa Tinoisamoa, Nick Roach, Hunter Hillenmeyer, or Jamar Williams win the job at strongside linebacker?

9. Did Urlacher really call Cutler a pussy? Bobby Wade says he did! Urlacher says he didn't! Best of all, its a pointless story and nobody gives a shit!

10. Who will step up to play cornerback while Tillman is out?

11. How are Sage Rosenfels and Tarvaris Jackson holding up now that Favre has declined to play this year?

12. After a full year's recovery from ACL surgery, does Kevin Jones look like he did in 04-05 before the weight of playing in Detroit crushed his soul and cruciate ligaments?

13. How much do you love Matt Forte? 'Cuz I fucking love that kid!

14. Can Devin Hester go back to returning punts without looking like a guy in a Warner Brothers cartoon trying to get rid of a bomb with a burning fuse?

15. Does Lovie Smith's voice still remind us all of simpler times?

16. Has Earl Bennett learned his God Damn playbook yet?

17. Garrett Wolfe and Adrian Peterson are battling for the 3rd runningback spot. Which one will win the jobm make no certifiable impact on the offense whatsoever, and be constantly lauded on FOX for his "stellar special teams play"?

18. Will Caleb Hanie just do something impressive so no one keeps saying shit like this?

19. If someone drops a pass will Rick Morrissey start screaming at everyone to duck before Cutler melts down?

20. Can they show any of this shit on tv? Because I'm ready for some god damn football.