Thursday, November 29, 2007

Evoking Memories of Childhood

If you're like me and are praying for the Bulls to right the ship (okay, the ship is cracked in half and sinking, so maybe repair and resurrect the ship) before football season ends so you'll have something to watch, then you'll love the article John Hollinger has up at tWWL right now. It ain't hard to find, just look for the picture of Kirk Hinrich and Tyrus Thomas. The one where they look like their season is comparable to the plague. If they were Nick Saban it'd be 9/11.

Regardless of all that, Hollinger's continued use of the (oh this is original) play on words, "unbeara-BULL" reminded me of my early childhood, a place only battle-hardened war vets would survive. I present to you my favorite childhood cartoon, and frequent user of bad plays on words including Bull (i.e. LuvvaBULL, TerriBULL, BULLoney), The C.O.W.boys of Moo-Mesa:

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Sheriff Moo Montana, bringing back childhood memories
that BURRRRNNSESSSSS


It's a slaughter, BAYBEEEEEEEEE!

For the ninth year in a row, in other words, for the ENTIRE EXISTENCE OF THE EVENT, the ACC has beaten the Big Ten in the ACC/Big Ten challenge.

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Honestly, this thing is a joke. I wish I could complain that the matchups are unfair, but they really aren't. The ACC puts it's best teams against ours, and they put their worst teams against ours. The result has been the same for nine years: violent sodomy at the hands of the East Coast.

As a Big Ten fan, this is hard for me to say, but it needs to be suggested: change this thing into the ACC/Big East challenge. Really, the Big Ten just can't compete from top to bottom with the ACC. The ACC is a basketball centered conference, and the Big Ten is more of a football conference. The Big East has 16 teams, not only giving them a bigger chance of having teams who can compete, but fielding basketball-centered schools like Louisville, Cincinnati, UConn, and Syracuse.

The event is torture to watch every year, especially this year for me because the Hawkeyes refuse to pass, shoot, and manage the game intelligently. Aside from Petersen the entire team's mindset is basically this:

"BALL!!! BALL!!! OOOOOH PRETTY! DRIBBLE RUN DOWN COURT! DRIBBLE DRIBBLE PASS TO COVERED MAN! BALL INTERCEPTED? ME NO WANT DEFEND! the other team scores BALL AGAIN! RUN DOWN COURT DRIBBLEDRIBBLE!! TAKE SHOT WHEN DOUBLE TEAMED!!! MISS?!!? ME NO WANNA PLAY DEFENSE!!!"

which makes the entire game a giant exercise in futility. In short, the ACC has more talent, better coaching and better tradition/recruiting than the Big Ten. Just change the Big Ten with the Big East. Then I might be interested.