Atlanta 16, San Francisco 14
So the Falcons have now beaten the Cardinals, who suck, and the Saints because of a missed field goal, and now the 49ers because of a fumbled interception return where, if Clements had just taken a knee, they'd have lost. Those are three less than convincing wins. Why is it that they get a pass from the "ARE THE BEARS FOR REAL?" media?
NY Jets 38, Buffalo 14
God the Bills are horrible.
Baltimore 17, Pittsburgh 14
I'd still have to go with Pittsburgh as the favorite in that division, since Rapelisberger will give the Steelers a functioning offense.
New Orleans 16, Carolina 14
The three teams that the Saints have beaten are 1-10, and yet they've won those three games by a combined 10 points. Now, New Orleans is a great team and they obviously deserve to be acknowledged as so because of what they did last year, but again, why the hell are the Bears the only team that gets grief for winning 3 close games?
Denver 26, Tennessee 20
As usual, Vince Young only wins when I do not desire it. F*&k you, Vince. You could have done me a solid here and landed on right in McDaniels' smarmy cockface, and you failed.
Cleveland 23, Cincinnati 20
I'm not sure at all how Cleveland won this game despite their absolute refusal to cover the Bengals' receivers at all, but good for them.
Green Bay 28, Detroit 26
Green Bay only beat Detroit by 2 points. They were aided in this by 13 Detroit penalties. Does that invalidate the victory? Well, based on the logic of Green Bay fa-Whatever. Just shut the fuck up now, Cheeseheads, and keep telling yourself all is well with your "Superbowl favorites."
St. Louis 20, Seattle 3
I can't make heads or tails of the NFC or AFC Wests this year, but I do not that I am awesome for calling that St. Louis would win this game. I'm absolutely pulling for them to win the division. The crazy thing is that that's Not unthinkable.
Houston 31, Oakland 24
In previous years this is exactly the kind of game the Texans would have dropped. Maybe they are growing up.
Jacksonville 31, Indianapolis 28
God dammit, Jacksonville. Why can't I ever understand you?
San Diego 41, Arizona 10
With the news that Max Hall will get the start for the Cardinals this week, I can't help but think they should lure their old quarterback out of retirement. You know who I mean.
Washington 17, Philadelphia 12
Wow, Kevin Kolb sucks. It was sickening how much I was forced to agree with Troy Aikman as he ranted and raved about how big of a coward Kolb was for his refusal to throw anything downfield. Oh, and Washington isn't very good either.
New England 41, Miami 14
Thank you, Dolphins special teams, for making the Bears offensive line look like a less atrocious unit by comparison. Brutal. New England's secondary still sucks. And regardless of whatever the "Patriot Way" says, they'll miss Randy Moss. Thanks a lot, assholes.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
A New Low
So who is to blame for Sunday night's god awful sackfest? The offensive line (ding ding)? Mike Martz (ding) ? Jerry Angelo (ding ding motherfucking ding)?
No, you fools. Rick Telander has the answer, and it's Jay Cutler's defective pancreas. Yes, Rick Telander is blaming Jay Cutler's diabetes, and even more, he's INDIGNANT that the Bears apparently think this is a stupid thing to suggest (mostly because it's retarded).
Anyway, he's in italics:
You give up something when you live in our socially connected world.
And sometimes you get something taken from you. Like your ability to naturally produce insulin.
Anonymity, freedom, call it what you want.
This is going to be a fucking joy.
So imagine being Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, the most scrutinized person at the most scrutinized position on the most scrutinized entertainment vehicle in Chicago.
When I was 8 years old I was involved in a hit and run accident. Somebody just straight up drilled me with their car, knocked me into a ditch, ruined my brand new bike, and left me there. I walked myself home, bleeding from the top of my skull. My parents took me to the hospital and cat scans revealed a massive concussion. I should state that I don't actually remember any of this, because, well, I was hit by a car and had a massive concussion. I still have frequent headaches and migraines to this day. My point? I know exactly how it feels to be Jay Cutler right now.
Cutler was so badly battered Sunday by the New York Giants that it's a wonder his eyeballs still face forward.
There are sacks and there are sacks, and one of the latter occurred when Giants blitzer Aaron Ross slammed Cutler to the ground less than a minute before halftime. Cutler's head bounced off the turf like a ball off a bat. It was the ninth time Cutler had been sacked, an NFL record for a half.
There are hacks, and there are hacks, like the one's who tell us about how a quarterback was sacked 9 times in a half behind an historically bad offensive line (say what you will, they're on pace to tie the NFL record with 72 sacks in a season) and then are about to try to blame this on his blood sugar level.
Curiously, Cutler stayed in for the next play, even though the Giants futilely called their final timeout. When play resumed, he simply handed the ball to tailback Matt Forte, and the half came to an end.
Okay. He hadn't really talked to anyone yet. Concussions are not ridiculously easy to notice. Hell (WARNING: HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL STORY) we had a kid on my team that had one, got up, went to the huddle, broke, and for some reason waited until after the play to remark that he had absolutely no idea where the hell he was. So it's not that mysterious that Cutler stayed in for one last handoff when no one had any idea yet that he was concussed.
The concussion Cutler suffered at some point -- on the last sack or even cumulatively -- is the point at which we want to know something. Maybe it's more than Cutler -- or the Bears -- would like us to know.
What. the. Fuck. Does. This. Mean? Are you trying to say you want to know "at what point" Cutler suffered the concussion? Because if so, you badly botched that. Or are you saying the concussion is "the point" you want to know more about? Jesus Christ, you're awful at your job.
The main question will be answered soon enough: Will Cutler be able to start Sunday against the Carolina Panthers?
So that was your point?
Then there is the question of who failed the most in the disaster: Was it the offensive line, offensive coordinator Mike Martz or head coach Lovie Smith?
You're really not making any kind of argument or anything here. Now you're just listing questions. Weren't you supposed to have "a point"?
Did disease play a role?
No. No it did not. That's an utterly absurd question.
But most important is Cutler himself.
I still don't get what you're trying to say here. The most important question is about Cutler himself? The most important person on the offense is Cutler himself? The person who holds the biggest share of blame is Cutler himself? WHY CAN'T YOU WRITE ANYTHING REMOTELY READABLE?
And a huge question is whether he himself screwed up by not recognizing pass rushes, missing hot reads, moving the wrong way or holding the ball for too long.
Probably. At least a couple times. It happens. To all quarterbacks. Diabetic and non-diabetic ones included. Since the vast majority of quarterbacks are non-diabetic, it stands to reason that DIABETES PLAYS NO FUCKING FACTOR IN THIS YOU TWIT. But alas...
No, it's not a valid question at all. Not for Jay Cutler, not for any other diabetic. It defies logic and medical science. It's a ridiculous fucking stupid question and I weep that in this economy people with skills and worth to society are struggling to feed their families while you are paid to smear a bunch of shit on a page without any kind of rationale behind it.
It is noble and courageous that Cutler plays pro football at all, let alone stars at the sport, with Type 1 diabetes, a disease that forces him to measure his blood-sugar and insulin levels constantly, even during games.
Oh. My. God. (vomits uncontrollably).
To be slightly off on those levels can cause a diabetic to have blurred vision, reduced reaction time and slight loss of judgment. And who needs total awareness more than an NFL quarterback?
Obviously not a sports columnist for the Chicago Sun Times. You get by just fine with no awareness at all. Also, YOU JUST SAID THEY MEASURE HIS LEVELS DURING THE GAME. So, I'm just going to assume that since they test him, they wouldn't have sent him out onto the field if his levels were dangerously low. And since no one but you is apparently dumb enough to believe that getting sacked can cause your insulin and blood sugar to fluctuate, anyone else could tell you this isn't an issue at all and that you're a god awful excuse for a man.
We largely have forgotten about Cutler's battle with diabetes since he came to Chicago and was very open about his dealings with the late onset of the disease.
We've forgotten about it because it's a private and very manageable condition and it DOES NOT AFFECT HIS PLAY YOU IDIOT.
But it is there. And one can't help but wonder whether the blows to his head, combined with the possible internal effects of diabetes, had anything to do with this horror show.
The blows to his head, yes. The internal effects of diabetes? No. They aren't combined. Because they aren't at all related. You. God. Damn. Idiot.
That he wanted to go back in is irrelevant. Remember that Dallas Cowboys tight end Jason Witten became indignant when he wasn't allowed to re-enter a game against the Bears on Sept. 19, even though he had a concussion.
Irrelevant to what? This isn't a talking point at all. "He wanted to go back in!" is not the defense anyone would have used against this asinine accusation. This paragraph just doesn't belong anywhere, not even in this shit-stained drivel. The rebuttal wouldn't be "he wanted to go back in!" It would be "Rick, you know absolutely nothing about diabetes and sadly even less about football." And then I would kick you in the groin. But I'd give you a candy bar to help with the blood sugar I'd just lowered.
Here is the kicker: Cutler was sacked seven times in the second quarter alone. If that isn't an NFL record, nothing is.
The kicker to what? This doesn't help your argument at all. If you're argument is "diabetes played a factor" then this doesn't help at all. Granted, nothing will, because it's a pathetic and untenable argument, but all this sentence does is provide evidence to EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD who said "hey, Cutler looks out of sorts. Maybe it's because he's GETTING THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF HIM." Rather than "I bet he'd have thrown that ball away if he'd eaten a f$%king Snickers bar before this series."
And the rest of this is all drivel about head injuries (is this supposed to be an article about concussions or diabetes or what, Rick?) ending with:
No, you fools. Rick Telander has the answer, and it's Jay Cutler's defective pancreas. Yes, Rick Telander is blaming Jay Cutler's diabetes, and even more, he's INDIGNANT that the Bears apparently think this is a stupid thing to suggest (mostly because it's retarded).
Anyway, he's in italics:
You give up something when you live in our socially connected world.
And sometimes you get something taken from you. Like your ability to naturally produce insulin.
Anonymity, freedom, call it what you want.
This is going to be a fucking joy.
So imagine being Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, the most scrutinized person at the most scrutinized position on the most scrutinized entertainment vehicle in Chicago.
When I was 8 years old I was involved in a hit and run accident. Somebody just straight up drilled me with their car, knocked me into a ditch, ruined my brand new bike, and left me there. I walked myself home, bleeding from the top of my skull. My parents took me to the hospital and cat scans revealed a massive concussion. I should state that I don't actually remember any of this, because, well, I was hit by a car and had a massive concussion. I still have frequent headaches and migraines to this day. My point? I know exactly how it feels to be Jay Cutler right now.
Cutler was so badly battered Sunday by the New York Giants that it's a wonder his eyeballs still face forward.
There are sacks and there are sacks, and one of the latter occurred when Giants blitzer Aaron Ross slammed Cutler to the ground less than a minute before halftime. Cutler's head bounced off the turf like a ball off a bat. It was the ninth time Cutler had been sacked, an NFL record for a half.
There are hacks, and there are hacks, like the one's who tell us about how a quarterback was sacked 9 times in a half behind an historically bad offensive line (say what you will, they're on pace to tie the NFL record with 72 sacks in a season) and then are about to try to blame this on his blood sugar level.
Curiously, Cutler stayed in for the next play, even though the Giants futilely called their final timeout. When play resumed, he simply handed the ball to tailback Matt Forte, and the half came to an end.
Okay. He hadn't really talked to anyone yet. Concussions are not ridiculously easy to notice. Hell (WARNING: HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL STORY) we had a kid on my team that had one, got up, went to the huddle, broke, and for some reason waited until after the play to remark that he had absolutely no idea where the hell he was. So it's not that mysterious that Cutler stayed in for one last handoff when no one had any idea yet that he was concussed.
The concussion Cutler suffered at some point -- on the last sack or even cumulatively -- is the point at which we want to know something. Maybe it's more than Cutler -- or the Bears -- would like us to know.
What. the. Fuck. Does. This. Mean? Are you trying to say you want to know "at what point" Cutler suffered the concussion? Because if so, you badly botched that. Or are you saying the concussion is "the point" you want to know more about? Jesus Christ, you're awful at your job.
The main question will be answered soon enough: Will Cutler be able to start Sunday against the Carolina Panthers?
So that was your point?
Then there is the question of who failed the most in the disaster: Was it the offensive line, offensive coordinator Mike Martz or head coach Lovie Smith?
You're really not making any kind of argument or anything here. Now you're just listing questions. Weren't you supposed to have "a point"?
Did disease play a role?
No. No it did not. That's an utterly absurd question.
But most important is Cutler himself.
I still don't get what you're trying to say here. The most important question is about Cutler himself? The most important person on the offense is Cutler himself? The person who holds the biggest share of blame is Cutler himself? WHY CAN'T YOU WRITE ANYTHING REMOTELY READABLE?
And a huge question is whether he himself screwed up by not recognizing pass rushes, missing hot reads, moving the wrong way or holding the ball for too long.
Probably. At least a couple times. It happens. To all quarterbacks. Diabetic and non-diabetic ones included. Since the vast majority of quarterbacks are non-diabetic, it stands to reason that DIABETES PLAYS NO FUCKING FACTOR IN THIS YOU TWIT. But alas...
Indeed, there was one sack on which Cutler dropped back, looked downfield, pump-faked ... then was crushed. You don't pump-fake when the hounds are on you.
Cutler was sacked for the first time just 90 seconds into the game. He was sacked for the second time three minutes later.
When did he get dingy?
And there is this: Did his diabetes have anything to do with it?
Dingy? As in: "1. lacking light or brightness; drab 2. dirty; discoloured"? Someone get Rick a new thesaurus. And I'm guessing he got "dingy" somewhere between sack 1 and sack 9. Now, I don't know if you know how diabetes works, but physical contact from other people does not somehow make it better or worse. It stands to reason that if Cutler was tested and was feeling fine before the game, taking a hit from a 290 pound defensive lineman did not knock the insulin out of his veins. It stands to reason because IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE A DIABETIC REACTION TO A FUCKING TACKLE.
That is a very personal question, but it is a valid one for this highly paid athlete.No, it's not a valid question at all. Not for Jay Cutler, not for any other diabetic. It defies logic and medical science. It's a ridiculous fucking stupid question and I weep that in this economy people with skills and worth to society are struggling to feed their families while you are paid to smear a bunch of shit on a page without any kind of rationale behind it.
It is noble and courageous that Cutler plays pro football at all, let alone stars at the sport, with Type 1 diabetes, a disease that forces him to measure his blood-sugar and insulin levels constantly, even during games.
Oh. My. God. (vomits uncontrollably).
To be slightly off on those levels can cause a diabetic to have blurred vision, reduced reaction time and slight loss of judgment. And who needs total awareness more than an NFL quarterback?
Obviously not a sports columnist for the Chicago Sun Times. You get by just fine with no awareness at all. Also, YOU JUST SAID THEY MEASURE HIS LEVELS DURING THE GAME. So, I'm just going to assume that since they test him, they wouldn't have sent him out onto the field if his levels were dangerously low. And since no one but you is apparently dumb enough to believe that getting sacked can cause your insulin and blood sugar to fluctuate, anyone else could tell you this isn't an issue at all and that you're a god awful excuse for a man.
We largely have forgotten about Cutler's battle with diabetes since he came to Chicago and was very open about his dealings with the late onset of the disease.
We've forgotten about it because it's a private and very manageable condition and it DOES NOT AFFECT HIS PLAY YOU IDIOT.
But it is there. And one can't help but wonder whether the blows to his head, combined with the possible internal effects of diabetes, had anything to do with this horror show.
The blows to his head, yes. The internal effects of diabetes? No. They aren't combined. Because they aren't at all related. You. God. Damn. Idiot.
That he wanted to go back in is irrelevant. Remember that Dallas Cowboys tight end Jason Witten became indignant when he wasn't allowed to re-enter a game against the Bears on Sept. 19, even though he had a concussion.
Irrelevant to what? This isn't a talking point at all. "He wanted to go back in!" is not the defense anyone would have used against this asinine accusation. This paragraph just doesn't belong anywhere, not even in this shit-stained drivel. The rebuttal wouldn't be "he wanted to go back in!" It would be "Rick, you know absolutely nothing about diabetes and sadly even less about football." And then I would kick you in the groin. But I'd give you a candy bar to help with the blood sugar I'd just lowered.
Here is the kicker: Cutler was sacked seven times in the second quarter alone. If that isn't an NFL record, nothing is.
The kicker to what? This doesn't help your argument at all. If you're argument is "diabetes played a factor" then this doesn't help at all. Granted, nothing will, because it's a pathetic and untenable argument, but all this sentence does is provide evidence to EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD who said "hey, Cutler looks out of sorts. Maybe it's because he's GETTING THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF HIM." Rather than "I bet he'd have thrown that ball away if he'd eaten a f$%king Snickers bar before this series."
And the rest of this is all drivel about head injuries (is this supposed to be an article about concussions or diabetes or what, Rick?) ending with:
Cutler is paid a lot. He's famous. He dates a beautiful woman. And he gets to do what so many men think they want to do.
But he has some issues right now that the rest of us wouldn't want.
And we'll be finding out what they are.
Well, I certainly wouldn't want hacks like Rick Telander trying to blame me getting my ass kicked behind an awful offensive line on a complete unrelated medical illness of mine. And I love how fucking pompous that last line is. "We'll be finding out what they are!" Rick Telander sees through your facade, Bears organization. He won't rest until you admit that Jay Cutler's diabetes is slowly eating away at him like a modern day Brian Piccolo. Regardless of what you, common sense, or medical science says, Rick knows the TRUTH.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
College Football Roundup, Week 5
Oklahoma State 38, Texas A&M 35
To be honest, I wasn't expecting this game to be entertaining at all. But then it turned out to be the funniest damn game of football I've seen in a looong time (Sunday Night's Bears game excepted, since, well, let's face it, if you can numb yourself out of thinking like a Bears fan and appreciate the complete disintegration of the Bears offensive line for the total farce that it was, that game was pretty funny). First you had A&M jumping out to a 21-7 halftime lead thanks to 3 TD passes by Jerrod Johnson. Then you had Oklahoma State roaring back and then taking a 35-21 thanks to 3 Jerrod Johnson interceptions and a Jerrod Johnson fumble. Then you had Jerrod Johnson rallying to tie the game at 35 with two more TD passes, giving him five on the day. Then Oklahoma State had to punt, and with a minute or so left Jerrod Johnson drove Texas A&M to the edge of field goal range and then...threw his 4th and fatal interception, which OK State returned to set up the game winning kick. So to recap: Texas A&M had 5 TDs and 5 turnovers that OK State turned into points. All of which came at the hands of Jerrod Johnson. He literally accounted in someway for every single point scored by either offense in this game. It was both hilarious and tragic, but mostly hilarious because Mike Sherman is his head coach and watching that man's agony is a highly rewarding experience.
Miami 30, Clemson 21
Miami may finally be shaking themselves free of the pack and climbing to the top of the giant feces heap that is the ACC. Hurray?
Ohio State 24, Illinois 13
Grrr. ANGRY. REFEREE CONSPIRACY. But seriously, Terrelle Pryor is so overrated it makes my ears bleed. If I hear one more person call him a Heisman frontrunner or the nation's most exciting player while he's throwing for 77 yards against Illinois and Denard Robinson is singlehandedly carrying the secondhand leeches of Michigan's offense to victory like the protagonist in an Ayn Rand novel (minus all of the rape and the thinly veiled sociopathy) I may be forced to kill every living thing on this planet.
Michigan State 34, Wisconsin 24
Well shit. I think we may be looking at that one year where Michigan State breaks free of their standard 5-7 or 7-5 average and heads for double digits. Not that I have any problem with that, I just wish I hadn't picked Wisconsin.
Virginia Tech 41, NC State 30
One of college football's many laws: Tom O'Brien will never, ever actually achieve anything.
Michigan 42, Indiana 35
Denard Robinson is averaging 383 yards of total offense per game and he missed 3 quarters against Bowling Green. I don't know what's more impressive, the fact that he generates more offense by himself than 25 BCS schools (including Virginia Tech, West Virginia, Miami, Georgia, Texas, Penn State, Florida, and Tennessee) or that Michigan needs every bit of his superhuman efforts simply to beat Indiana.
Oklahoma 28, Texas 20
Well, I think Oklahoma will now glide all the way to the Big 12 title game, where Nebraska will then destroy them, rape their mothers, and burn their plantation as the Huskers ride off into the night to join the Increasingly Less Accurately Named Big Ten. Oh, and Texas really sucks. Ha.
LSU 16, Tennessee 14
I have no idea what kind of good deeds or deals with Satan that Les Miles has done in order to earn his charmed existence, but I just know that I would never, ever bet against that man's ability to set himself and his own team on fire and still win the god damn football game.
Iowa State 52, Texas Tech 38
This is what happens when you fire Mike Leach, people. I laugh at you, Texas Tech. 52 POINTS FOR IOWA STATE? That's like 125 points for a real school.
Washington 32, USC 31
CALLED IT! Where is your God know, Lane Kiffin?
Oregon 52, Stanford 31
I really have to hand it to Oregon in this one. They are one very well coached football team. They were down 21-3 in this game before they even knew what hit them and yet there was absolutely no sign of panic. Chip Kelly called an onside kick in the second quarter and went for it on 4th and 1 in his own territory in the first half and yet nothing he did seemed to be a gamble. He played the percentages, bet that his team was better, and he won. I have to say, as much as I love Jim Harbaugh and admire what he's done with Stanford, it's important to remember that they've only been at this a few years, while Oregon has been in the upper tier for over a decade. They simply have more depth, and it showed over the second half. I wouldn't be surprised if this was Stanford's only conference loss. Besides, it's been damn near impossible to come into Autzen Stadium and win since the days when Akili Smith and Joey Harrington played QB for the Ducks.*
Alabama 31, Florida 6.
Steve Addazio, you are not good at your job. I think, even if Dan Mullen were still calling the plays for Florida, that they'd have lost this game. But it should never have been like this. The talent disparity between these two teams is small enough that this game should have been a toss up. Instead, for the last two years it hasn't even been close. Nick Saban absolutely destroyed Florida and showed no remorse while Florida ran option plays where the QB was absolutely no threat to keep the ball, ran 5 wides where Alabama didn't even have to pretend to cover the deep routes, and the Gators simply had no answer for anything Alabama did. T'was very sad.
Iowa 24, Penn State 3
Penn State sucks.
*- Yes, that was just an excuse to mention Akili Smith and Joey Harrington in order to laugh at them.
To be honest, I wasn't expecting this game to be entertaining at all. But then it turned out to be the funniest damn game of football I've seen in a looong time (Sunday Night's Bears game excepted, since, well, let's face it, if you can numb yourself out of thinking like a Bears fan and appreciate the complete disintegration of the Bears offensive line for the total farce that it was, that game was pretty funny). First you had A&M jumping out to a 21-7 halftime lead thanks to 3 TD passes by Jerrod Johnson. Then you had Oklahoma State roaring back and then taking a 35-21 thanks to 3 Jerrod Johnson interceptions and a Jerrod Johnson fumble. Then you had Jerrod Johnson rallying to tie the game at 35 with two more TD passes, giving him five on the day. Then Oklahoma State had to punt, and with a minute or so left Jerrod Johnson drove Texas A&M to the edge of field goal range and then...threw his 4th and fatal interception, which OK State returned to set up the game winning kick. So to recap: Texas A&M had 5 TDs and 5 turnovers that OK State turned into points. All of which came at the hands of Jerrod Johnson. He literally accounted in someway for every single point scored by either offense in this game. It was both hilarious and tragic, but mostly hilarious because Mike Sherman is his head coach and watching that man's agony is a highly rewarding experience.
Miami 30, Clemson 21
Miami may finally be shaking themselves free of the pack and climbing to the top of the giant feces heap that is the ACC. Hurray?
Ohio State 24, Illinois 13
Grrr. ANGRY. REFEREE CONSPIRACY. But seriously, Terrelle Pryor is so overrated it makes my ears bleed. If I hear one more person call him a Heisman frontrunner or the nation's most exciting player while he's throwing for 77 yards against Illinois and Denard Robinson is singlehandedly carrying the secondhand leeches of Michigan's offense to victory like the protagonist in an Ayn Rand novel (minus all of the rape and the thinly veiled sociopathy) I may be forced to kill every living thing on this planet.
Michigan State 34, Wisconsin 24
Well shit. I think we may be looking at that one year where Michigan State breaks free of their standard 5-7 or 7-5 average and heads for double digits. Not that I have any problem with that, I just wish I hadn't picked Wisconsin.
Virginia Tech 41, NC State 30
One of college football's many laws: Tom O'Brien will never, ever actually achieve anything.
Michigan 42, Indiana 35
Denard Robinson is averaging 383 yards of total offense per game and he missed 3 quarters against Bowling Green. I don't know what's more impressive, the fact that he generates more offense by himself than 25 BCS schools (including Virginia Tech, West Virginia, Miami, Georgia, Texas, Penn State, Florida, and Tennessee) or that Michigan needs every bit of his superhuman efforts simply to beat Indiana.
Oklahoma 28, Texas 20
Well, I think Oklahoma will now glide all the way to the Big 12 title game, where Nebraska will then destroy them, rape their mothers, and burn their plantation as the Huskers ride off into the night to join the Increasingly Less Accurately Named Big Ten. Oh, and Texas really sucks. Ha.
LSU 16, Tennessee 14
I have no idea what kind of good deeds or deals with Satan that Les Miles has done in order to earn his charmed existence, but I just know that I would never, ever bet against that man's ability to set himself and his own team on fire and still win the god damn football game.
Iowa State 52, Texas Tech 38
This is what happens when you fire Mike Leach, people. I laugh at you, Texas Tech. 52 POINTS FOR IOWA STATE? That's like 125 points for a real school.
Washington 32, USC 31
CALLED IT! Where is your God know, Lane Kiffin?
Oregon 52, Stanford 31
I really have to hand it to Oregon in this one. They are one very well coached football team. They were down 21-3 in this game before they even knew what hit them and yet there was absolutely no sign of panic. Chip Kelly called an onside kick in the second quarter and went for it on 4th and 1 in his own territory in the first half and yet nothing he did seemed to be a gamble. He played the percentages, bet that his team was better, and he won. I have to say, as much as I love Jim Harbaugh and admire what he's done with Stanford, it's important to remember that they've only been at this a few years, while Oregon has been in the upper tier for over a decade. They simply have more depth, and it showed over the second half. I wouldn't be surprised if this was Stanford's only conference loss. Besides, it's been damn near impossible to come into Autzen Stadium and win since the days when Akili Smith and Joey Harrington played QB for the Ducks.*
Alabama 31, Florida 6.
Steve Addazio, you are not good at your job. I think, even if Dan Mullen were still calling the plays for Florida, that they'd have lost this game. But it should never have been like this. The talent disparity between these two teams is small enough that this game should have been a toss up. Instead, for the last two years it hasn't even been close. Nick Saban absolutely destroyed Florida and showed no remorse while Florida ran option plays where the QB was absolutely no threat to keep the ball, ran 5 wides where Alabama didn't even have to pretend to cover the deep routes, and the Gators simply had no answer for anything Alabama did. T'was very sad.
Iowa 24, Penn State 3
Penn State sucks.
*- Yes, that was just an excuse to mention Akili Smith and Joey Harrington in order to laugh at them.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Jesus H. Christ.
As I type this the game isn't over, but the Bears are nonetheless done. I'm not even going to bother doing the good/bad. The defense was outstanding when it could have made a difference. That's all I've really got on that side of the ledger.
Chris Collinsworth certainly wore out the angle that Cutler held the ball too long, and I'd agree on 3 or 4 of those sacks. You know what that means? The Bears still gave up 6 sacks where it wasn't the quarterbacks fault. I've got news for you: That's fucking abominable.
This doesn't make the Bears 3-0 start hollow. Don't let people fool you. The stalwart defense that helped them to that start showed up tonight. They still have a great quarterback, assuming that he'll ever start another game for them. The offensive line that had managed to patch and scheme it's way through the last three games, however, has finally run out of ideas.
I really wish I knew how Jerry Angelo is still gainfully employed. In his time at the helm this team is now 79-69. Throw out the 13-3 record in 2001, when he took over after the draft and had little to no role in building that team, and his record drops to 66-66. In those 132 games since 2002 the Bears have given up 334 sacks, or over 2 1/2 sacks per game. They've absolutely sucked at running the ball in that time period as well, with an average finish of 23rd in the league. My point is that Jerry has no fucking clue as to how to build an offensive line, and this isn't going to change. During the only run of competence this team had from 2005-2006, Angelo simply signed the consensus best offensive linemen on the market (Tait, Brown, and Miller) then watched them all age without making any plans whatsoever to replace them. The one promising young lineman they've had (Josh Beekman) was benched for Frank Omiyale and then cut.
Of all the stupid, overused coach-isms in the sport of football, the one that holds true without change is that you win up front. Angelo seems to believe this wholeheartedly when it comes to the defensive line, since he's thrown away four picks in the top two rounds of the draft on defensive linemen since he's arrived (Micheal Haynes, Tank Johnson, and Dan Bazuin look great right now, don't they?) and spent just two on offensive linemen (Marc Colombo and Chris Williams).
The Bears have a franchise quarterback. The media can tell you he sucks all they want, but Cutler has performed like a great fucking QB since he's arrived. He had three god awful games last year against the Packers, Ravens, and 49ers, but in his other 16 games as a Bear before tonight he's posted the following numbers: 340/531 (64.0%), 3858 yds, 32 TDs, 16 INTs, 7.3 YPA, 241.1 YPG, and a 93.2 Rating. He's been nowhere near as bad as people want you to believe. In fact, he's been really good.
The Bears have, believe it or not, a solid wide receiver corps, with Johnny Knox, Devin Hester, Earl Bennett, and even Aromoshadu all having had their moments of greatness.
They have two backs that have both been solid players before and look good when they have any daylight in Matt Forte and Chester Taylor.
They have a tight end corps so deep and talented that they could actually bench Desmond Clark without any kind of negative impact.
They have a defense that hasn't allowed more than 20 points in any game this season and even kept them in this trainwreck until the 4th quarter.
I can't even blame Lovie for this. And as much as I want to hate on all of the offseason and early season hype about Mike Martz and Tice, I really do believe they've done the best job they could. There's just not a fucking thing in this world that a coach can do to fix the lack of talent on that line.
Is it going to get better? Probably. Chris Williams sucks, but he's at least a raw talent that can offer some hope of competence. Maybe Frank Omiyale really is more "comfortable" on the right side. Not everyone has Justin Tuck and Osi Umenyora. The Bears do still have a favorable schedule. But it's all going to be moot because they're eventually going to run into this again. You want to laugh at Favre's failures and the fact that the Vikings suck? Yeah, that's great, but wait until Jared Allen and the Williams Wall are lining up on the other side of the ball. You think Cutler's going to survive a half against the front seven of the Jets?
I'm sure I'm overreacting. God knows I was willing to believe that the 3-0 start meant something. Those games happened, and the Bears certainly won them, regardless of what anyone else will tell you. There will be better games than tonight in the future, but it's only a matter of time.
Hopefully that statement applies to Jerry Angelo, as well. Get fucked, Jerry.
Chris Collinsworth certainly wore out the angle that Cutler held the ball too long, and I'd agree on 3 or 4 of those sacks. You know what that means? The Bears still gave up 6 sacks where it wasn't the quarterbacks fault. I've got news for you: That's fucking abominable.
This doesn't make the Bears 3-0 start hollow. Don't let people fool you. The stalwart defense that helped them to that start showed up tonight. They still have a great quarterback, assuming that he'll ever start another game for them. The offensive line that had managed to patch and scheme it's way through the last three games, however, has finally run out of ideas.
I really wish I knew how Jerry Angelo is still gainfully employed. In his time at the helm this team is now 79-69. Throw out the 13-3 record in 2001, when he took over after the draft and had little to no role in building that team, and his record drops to 66-66. In those 132 games since 2002 the Bears have given up 334 sacks, or over 2 1/2 sacks per game. They've absolutely sucked at running the ball in that time period as well, with an average finish of 23rd in the league. My point is that Jerry has no fucking clue as to how to build an offensive line, and this isn't going to change. During the only run of competence this team had from 2005-2006, Angelo simply signed the consensus best offensive linemen on the market (Tait, Brown, and Miller) then watched them all age without making any plans whatsoever to replace them. The one promising young lineman they've had (Josh Beekman) was benched for Frank Omiyale and then cut.
Of all the stupid, overused coach-isms in the sport of football, the one that holds true without change is that you win up front. Angelo seems to believe this wholeheartedly when it comes to the defensive line, since he's thrown away four picks in the top two rounds of the draft on defensive linemen since he's arrived (Micheal Haynes, Tank Johnson, and Dan Bazuin look great right now, don't they?) and spent just two on offensive linemen (Marc Colombo and Chris Williams).
The Bears have a franchise quarterback. The media can tell you he sucks all they want, but Cutler has performed like a great fucking QB since he's arrived. He had three god awful games last year against the Packers, Ravens, and 49ers, but in his other 16 games as a Bear before tonight he's posted the following numbers: 340/531 (64.0%), 3858 yds, 32 TDs, 16 INTs, 7.3 YPA, 241.1 YPG, and a 93.2 Rating. He's been nowhere near as bad as people want you to believe. In fact, he's been really good.
The Bears have, believe it or not, a solid wide receiver corps, with Johnny Knox, Devin Hester, Earl Bennett, and even Aromoshadu all having had their moments of greatness.
They have two backs that have both been solid players before and look good when they have any daylight in Matt Forte and Chester Taylor.
They have a tight end corps so deep and talented that they could actually bench Desmond Clark without any kind of negative impact.
They have a defense that hasn't allowed more than 20 points in any game this season and even kept them in this trainwreck until the 4th quarter.
I can't even blame Lovie for this. And as much as I want to hate on all of the offseason and early season hype about Mike Martz and Tice, I really do believe they've done the best job they could. There's just not a fucking thing in this world that a coach can do to fix the lack of talent on that line.
Is it going to get better? Probably. Chris Williams sucks, but he's at least a raw talent that can offer some hope of competence. Maybe Frank Omiyale really is more "comfortable" on the right side. Not everyone has Justin Tuck and Osi Umenyora. The Bears do still have a favorable schedule. But it's all going to be moot because they're eventually going to run into this again. You want to laugh at Favre's failures and the fact that the Vikings suck? Yeah, that's great, but wait until Jared Allen and the Williams Wall are lining up on the other side of the ball. You think Cutler's going to survive a half against the front seven of the Jets?
I'm sure I'm overreacting. God knows I was willing to believe that the 3-0 start meant something. Those games happened, and the Bears certainly won them, regardless of what anyone else will tell you. There will be better games than tonight in the future, but it's only a matter of time.
Hopefully that statement applies to Jerry Angelo, as well. Get fucked, Jerry.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I Still Hate Big Ten Referees
Watching the Illinois-Ohio State game I was struck by two things: 1) Illinois somehow has a not-awful defense. 2) Terrelle Pryor blows. 3) Big Ten referees are still mostly incompetent, corrupt, or both. Okay, that was three things, but still, there were 3 phantom calls that sustained Ohio State drives. I'm not going to put on the Packer fan' shoes and say that Illinois "deserved" to win the game, but the officials didn't do them any favors. Although Coach [Redacted] did a fine job of fucking things up by kicking the FG instead of going for the TD on 4th and 7 when he lacked a full complement of timeouts and any real possibility of getting the ball back. Thanks, coach.
Guh.
Anyway, show up here tomorrow by 7:20 for the SKOsCast of tomorrow night's game. We'll be in the shoutbox to the right of this post watching the Bears (hopefully) kick the Giants' big blue asses. See ya then!
Guh.
Anyway, show up here tomorrow by 7:20 for the SKOsCast of tomorrow night's game. We'll be in the shoutbox to the right of this post watching the Bears (hopefully) kick the Giants' big blue asses. See ya then!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Prognostication Bukakke! NFL Week 4
Detroit @ Green Bay
Code Red: Detroit is better than they have been the last two years. Tough opening slate, though. Sadly, they'll drop to 0-4 after the Packers win, and Packers fans can go back to believing their own hype for a week.
Iggins!: HA! The Packers are 2-1. It is a good day. Unfortunately they won’t lose this game, Packers win.
Code Red: We’d just like to reiterate at this point that Green Bay is in second place. Behind the Bears. Who beat Green Bay.
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Iggins!: This will be a very close game. Cincinnati is worse than last year and Cleveland is better. Still, until the Bengals play Pitt I won’t bet against them in the AFC North. Bengals win.
Code Red: Indeed. Not even Carson Palmer’s tattered and ragged arm can lose this game. Bengals win (weeps once more for the downfall of Carson Palmer’s armcock).
Denver @ Tennesee
Code Red: Tennesee is just a much more balanced team all around, and the Broncos are just 3-10 in their last 13 games. Titans win, and I laugh heartily.
Iggins!: Have I ever picked against Vince Young? Seriously? Titans win.
Carolina @ New Orleans
Iggins!: Sean Payton walks into a bar. Shoots his kicker. Fin. Saints win.
Code Red: Carolina truly blows. Saints win.
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh
Code Red: I think Pittsburgh's defense is better than Baltimore's, and Flacco has sucked against every team that isn't Cleveland. He'll be their downfall against the Steelers, a team he's 1-4 against (including playoffs). Steelers win.
Iggins!: The Ravens haven’t figured out that they’re a running team yet, and they insist on throwing the ball 40 times a game. Until they cut that shit out they can’t beat the Steelers. Pitt wins.
NY Jets @ Buffalo
Iggins!: God Buffalo sucks. I expect 3 INTs from Sanchez this game but the Jets will still win by 20 because the Bills suck that hard. Jets win.
Code Red: Agreed. The most important thing is that Mirerez needs to have a bad game. Jets win, hopefully despite an awful Mirerez game.
Seattle @ St. Louis
Code Red: I do not believe in Seattle at all. Actually, I don't believe they should allow football west of the Mississippi this year, with the exception perhaps of Kansas City and the Chargers once they begin their annual late season run. With that said, the Rams win two in a row because why not?
Iggins!: After week 3 in the season normally you know what you’ve got in almost every NFL team. I still have no fucking idea if any of these NFC West teams are good, mediocre, or really shitty. I will pick Seattle because the Rams can’t be good damnit. Seattle wins.
Code Red: I agree you can’t tell if they’re mediocre or shitty, but I think you’d be safe in saying none of them are good.
San Francisco @ Atlanta
Iggins!: So I just realized that the 49ers have never actually been good under Singletary. They’ve somehow convinced ESPN that they’re good. Unfortunately for them, they are actually terrible. Falcons win.
Code Red: But he rallied them to 7-9! And valiantly led them to 8-8! FIYUR AND PASHUN. Falcons win.
Houston @ Oakland
Code Red: Well, Houston had better win this game.
Iggins!: Bad game last week for Houston. The numbers looked good, they just couldn’t punch it in on a few occasions and it cost them big time. No way they lose here though, Texans win.
Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Iggins!: So this year the Jaguars have transferred their unpredictability to the Seahawks, and have decided that they are reliably awful. Colts win.
Code Red: But they have Trent Edwards now, so that..should fix nothing. At all. Colts win.
Washington @ Philadelphia
Code Red: I don't care that Philadelphia looks like (and is) a much better team. I love Donovan McNabb, and Philly deserves great pain and suffering. Skins win.
Iggins!: Philly is not a good team, and once they run into a good defense Vick will start getting booed. Unfortunately for the Skins, they don’t have a good defense. Eagles win.
Arizona @ San Diego
Iggins!: San Diego has been disappointing but they don’t have it in them to lose to a team as awful as the Cardinals. Chargers win.
Code Red: Derek Anderson= Less mobile young Jake Plummer. Chargers win.
Chicago @ NY Giants
Code Red: I don't buy that the “desperate” Giants will manage to pull this one out. The Bears are better and should be desperate every fucking week to prove that their start isn't a fluke like last year's 3-1 kick off. Bears win, hopefully big for once.
Iggins!: The Giants have looked terrible the last two weeks and it wasn’t a fluke. Cutler is going to destroy them and the defense won’t allow over 10 points. Bears win big.
New England @ Miami
Iggins!: Good Monday Night games so far this year. Normally this is about the time we see the Cardinals play the Browns or something. The Dolphins will win. I think? I still don’t trust Henne at all. Oh well, go home team! Dolphins win.
Code Red: As much as I hate Chad Henne, he looked damn good against a Jets secondary that’s still above average even without Revis. The Patriots can’t even come close to “above average” in that category, so as long as the Dolphins don’t insist on sticking with the Wildcat even when it’s not working, Henne should lead them to victory. Dolphins win.
Code Red: Detroit is better than they have been the last two years. Tough opening slate, though. Sadly, they'll drop to 0-4 after the Packers win, and Packers fans can go back to believing their own hype for a week.
Iggins!: HA! The Packers are 2-1. It is a good day. Unfortunately they won’t lose this game, Packers win.
Code Red: We’d just like to reiterate at this point that Green Bay is in second place. Behind the Bears. Who beat Green Bay.
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Iggins!: This will be a very close game. Cincinnati is worse than last year and Cleveland is better. Still, until the Bengals play Pitt I won’t bet against them in the AFC North. Bengals win.
Code Red: Indeed. Not even Carson Palmer’s tattered and ragged arm can lose this game. Bengals win (weeps once more for the downfall of Carson Palmer’s armcock).
Denver @ Tennesee
Code Red: Tennesee is just a much more balanced team all around, and the Broncos are just 3-10 in their last 13 games. Titans win, and I laugh heartily.
Iggins!: Have I ever picked against Vince Young? Seriously? Titans win.
Carolina @ New Orleans
Iggins!: Sean Payton walks into a bar. Shoots his kicker. Fin. Saints win.
Code Red: Carolina truly blows. Saints win.
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh
Code Red: I think Pittsburgh's defense is better than Baltimore's, and Flacco has sucked against every team that isn't Cleveland. He'll be their downfall against the Steelers, a team he's 1-4 against (including playoffs). Steelers win.
Iggins!: The Ravens haven’t figured out that they’re a running team yet, and they insist on throwing the ball 40 times a game. Until they cut that shit out they can’t beat the Steelers. Pitt wins.
NY Jets @ Buffalo
Iggins!: God Buffalo sucks. I expect 3 INTs from Sanchez this game but the Jets will still win by 20 because the Bills suck that hard. Jets win.
Code Red: Agreed. The most important thing is that Mirerez needs to have a bad game. Jets win, hopefully despite an awful Mirerez game.
Seattle @ St. Louis
Code Red: I do not believe in Seattle at all. Actually, I don't believe they should allow football west of the Mississippi this year, with the exception perhaps of Kansas City and the Chargers once they begin their annual late season run. With that said, the Rams win two in a row because why not?
Iggins!: After week 3 in the season normally you know what you’ve got in almost every NFL team. I still have no fucking idea if any of these NFC West teams are good, mediocre, or really shitty. I will pick Seattle because the Rams can’t be good damnit. Seattle wins.
Code Red: I agree you can’t tell if they’re mediocre or shitty, but I think you’d be safe in saying none of them are good.
San Francisco @ Atlanta
Iggins!: So I just realized that the 49ers have never actually been good under Singletary. They’ve somehow convinced ESPN that they’re good. Unfortunately for them, they are actually terrible. Falcons win.
Code Red: But he rallied them to 7-9! And valiantly led them to 8-8! FIYUR AND PASHUN. Falcons win.
Houston @ Oakland
Code Red: Well, Houston had better win this game.
Iggins!: Bad game last week for Houston. The numbers looked good, they just couldn’t punch it in on a few occasions and it cost them big time. No way they lose here though, Texans win.
Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Iggins!: So this year the Jaguars have transferred their unpredictability to the Seahawks, and have decided that they are reliably awful. Colts win.
Code Red: But they have Trent Edwards now, so that..should fix nothing. At all. Colts win.
Washington @ Philadelphia
Code Red: I don't care that Philadelphia looks like (and is) a much better team. I love Donovan McNabb, and Philly deserves great pain and suffering. Skins win.
Iggins!: Philly is not a good team, and once they run into a good defense Vick will start getting booed. Unfortunately for the Skins, they don’t have a good defense. Eagles win.
Arizona @ San Diego
Iggins!: San Diego has been disappointing but they don’t have it in them to lose to a team as awful as the Cardinals. Chargers win.
Code Red: Derek Anderson= Less mobile young Jake Plummer. Chargers win.
Chicago @ NY Giants
Code Red: I don't buy that the “desperate” Giants will manage to pull this one out. The Bears are better and should be desperate every fucking week to prove that their start isn't a fluke like last year's 3-1 kick off. Bears win, hopefully big for once.
Iggins!: The Giants have looked terrible the last two weeks and it wasn’t a fluke. Cutler is going to destroy them and the defense won’t allow over 10 points. Bears win big.
New England @ Miami
Iggins!: Good Monday Night games so far this year. Normally this is about the time we see the Cardinals play the Browns or something. The Dolphins will win. I think? I still don’t trust Henne at all. Oh well, go home team! Dolphins win.
Code Red: As much as I hate Chad Henne, he looked damn good against a Jets secondary that’s still above average even without Revis. The Patriots can’t even come close to “above average” in that category, so as long as the Dolphins don’t insist on sticking with the Wildcat even when it’s not working, Henne should lead them to victory. Dolphins win.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Prognostication Bukakke! NCAA Week 5
Standings:
Code Red: 37-16 Overall (20-12 NFL, 17-4 NCAA).
Iggins!: 33-19 Overall (19-13 NFL, 14-6 NCAA).
So we'll see if Iggins! can make up some of those 4 games this week, or if I can begin to bury him early beneath my jackboot. Onto the college picks:
Code Red: 37-16 Overall (20-12 NFL, 17-4 NCAA).
Iggins!: 33-19 Overall (19-13 NFL, 14-6 NCAA).
So we'll see if Iggins! can make up some of those 4 games this week, or if I can begin to bury him early beneath my jackboot. Onto the college picks:
Texas A&M @ Oklahoma State
Code Red: I know nothing about either of these teams except that A&M is coached by Mike Sherman. That's enough to make me pick the Cowboys. OK State wins.
Iggins!: This is a bit of a toss up. I guess A&M almost lost to FIU last week… so yeah. Oklahoma State wins.
Miami @ Clemson
Iggins!: You trying to lure me into picking Clemson? Ain’t gonna happen. Miami wins.
Code Red: It’s worked so many times before. I’m pretty sure my 9 game lead last year was based entirely off of your constant Clemson and Kansas City Chiefs picks. I guess I take Miami too.
Virginia Tech @ NC State
Code Red: NC State is 4-0 and threatening to be a respectable ACC team. That just can't happen. VT gets a measure of redemption here. Hokies win.
Iggins!: VaTech kind of blows. BUT there is an ACC rule that says a team cannot win two big ACC games in a row, and a rule that says Frank Beamer will blow it early and finish strong when it no longer matters… oh well. Fuck VaTech. NC State wins.
Wisconsin @ Michigan State
Iggins!: This pick is entirely based on this game being played at MSU. MSU wins.
Code Red: Bah. John Clay and Scott Tolzien will get the job done. Wisconsin wins.
Texas vs. Oklahoma (Neutral Site)
Code Red: Wow, both of these teams are 1,000 times worse than last year. Oklahoma has the edge on offense. Oklahoma wins.
Iggins!: I don’t think Texas will lose 2 in a row after that ass whooping last week. And Oklahoma is just as bad as Texas, so I’ll say Texas wins.
AZ State @ Oregon State
Iggins!: Oregon State plays the same way VaTech does every year, they lose twice early then by the time they play Oregon they have a shot at the Pac 10 title. Oregon State wins.
Code Red: Pretty much. They always play well in conference. OSU wins.
Washington @ USC
Code Red: My gamble of the week: Jake Locker restores some of the luster by upsetting Kiffykins.Washington.
Iggins!: USC isn’t good, but Washington sucks. USC wins.
Stanford @ Oregon
Iggins!: Harbaugh! Stanford wins.
Code Red: I like your reasoning, and I’ll also add Andrew Luck. Stanford wins.
Florida @ Alabama
Code Red: If Alabama can confound the armcock of my beloved Ryan Mallett, I can't even imagine the hack job they'll do on the Steve Addazio-John Brantley duo. Alabama wins.
Iggins!: Yeah, Bama is going undefeated. Alabama wins.
Penn State @ Iowa
Iggins!: The mystifying Arizona loss notwithstanding, Iowa has been disturbingly methodical in destroying the opposition. PSU has a freshman QB and, in general, they just aren’t as good as Iowa. Iowa wins.
Code Red: Let me rephrase that: the loss to the one quality opponent they’ve faced notwithstanding, they’ve done a good job of beating up a MAC team, Eastern Illinois, and Iowa State. God you’re an undisciplined homer. Penn State does suck, so Iowa will win, but really, “disturbingly methodical in destroying opponents”? Jesus.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Welcome to the Firing Line, Don Banks
Bears' 3-0 start to season proves it's better to be lucky than good
But what if they're both, jackass?
Banks isn't the only asswipe touting this theory, and I have to commend everyone for this brilliant ignorance of the nature of cause and effect. Those two picks were taken away by the penalties, yes. The way Banks says this, it implies that they were fair interceptions and something unrelated took them away, so Cutler still made a poor decision in both cases. HOWEVAH, on the first one that was taken away, the ONLY REASON the pass was intercepted was because of the helmet-to-helmet contact that knocked the ball of course. If there's no helmet-to-helmet, that's doesn't mean the interception would have stayed, that means the pass would have been completed to Greg Olsen. On the other interception, Cutler saw Bennett being mugged and just threw it up. It's called "drawing a pass interference call." Good quarterbacks do this. CUTLER WOULD NEVER HAVE THROWN THE BALL IF HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TO GET THE CALL. My God, if Peyton Manning had done that Peter King would have been fogging up the windows of the pressbox while feverishly writing a hagiography touting Peyton's brilliant gamesmanship.
When you add in Green Bay's team-record 18 penalties for 152 yards (breaking a record set in 1945), and the Packers' special-team lapses, this had the feel of a self-inflicted Green Bay loss more than an impressive Chicago victory.
8 of those calls were on the offensive line and were the direct result of the defense holding Julius Peppers to prevent a sack or committing a false start because they were fucking afraid of having to block Julius Peppers. Meaning Green Bay didn't just commit them because they felt like it. Either way, Chicago was going to win the matchup. The roughing the passer nullfied a pick, this is true, but it came on the very next drive after THE SAME CALL WENT AGAINST THE BEARS and kept alive Green Bay's touchdown drive. The Bears commited five penalties as well. It's part of the game. Bad teams commit lots of penalties, and they lose the game because of it.
Skipping....
But I still can't see Chicago keeping this kind of mojo going throughout the season, looking downright outmatched in some parts of every game, but still finding a way to win. It happened against Detroit, in Chicago's shaky second half. It happened at Dallas, where the Bears started the game looking overmatched on the offensive line. And it happened against Green Bay, a team that dominated Chicago statistically for most of the night.
You mean the second half where the Bears took the lead and held Detroit without a single first down until the last drive where Detroit DIDN'T SCORE? And yeah, the Bears had two bad series on the offensive line against Dallas. Apparently two bad series=Cowboys actually dominated. And the only statistics that Green Bay dominated last night were time of possession and first downs. Well, and penalty yardage and turnovers. The Packers actually only had 3 more first downs then Chicago, had fewer rushing yards, and, umm, oh yeah, fewer fucking points.
Skipping some more....
3. The "new and improved'' Jay Cutler looked a lot like the old Jay Cutler to me at times.
Probably because that's just a figure of speech and he's really the same guy. Seriously. They didn't clone him or anything.
But that sure looked like the old, careless Cutler against Green Bay. The Bears quarterback sailed some passes, missed some easy throws and took several unnecessary risks. By his own admission, he didn't play anywhere near his best game in finishing 16 of 27 for 221 yards, with one touchdown and one interception.
But thanks to the sloppy Packers, Cutler didn't wind up paying for most of his mistakes. Cutler had some very pretty throws -- his 21-yard completion to Olsen on 2nd-and-20 in the fourth quarter was a thing of beauty -- and made some big plays when in clutch moments. But you can't live that dangerously every week in the NFL and survive. At the minimum, he threw three passes that should have resulted in Green Bay interceptions, and that would have been enough to get him beat on most nights.
But they weren't intercepted. That's part of playing in the NFL. Aaron Rodgers threw an interception last night, too. He also threw one that hit Izzy Idonijie right in the chest on a blown up screen play. NFL quarterbacks make bad throws. It's true. It totally happens. They have these things called "incompletions" and since no one has ever completed 100% of his pass attempts (other than Marty Booker), it turns out that no quarterback is perfect. Why many of those incompletions were good plays by the defense or could have been intercepted! Hell, you might say Jay Cutler takes a risk any time he puts it up in the air! That mad man!
Seriously, this is shit. Nothing that didn't actually happen in an NFL game matters. Calvin Johnson's no catch? Get the fuck over it, it didn't happen. If Detroit wants to bitch they can try gaining more than 168 yards and getting past the 50 yard line more than once in the second half. If Dallas "absolutely overwhelmed" the Bears they'd have had more than one sack and would not have lost the fucking game. Jay Cutler cannot be judged based on interceptions that didn't happen. I'll judge him based on the 109.7 rating he has on the passes that did.
Eat shit, Don Banks.
But what if they're both, jackass?
Five things we learned from watching the Bears pull out a rather-improbable win over the error-prone Packers at Solider Field ..
Or Soldier Field. Also, again, THE ERRORS WERE FORCED BY THEIR INABILITY TO STOP JULIUS PEPPERS AT ALL. Also, the Bears had 5 penalties, a missed field goal, and a dropped touchdown pass on 4th and Goal. STOP ACTING LIKE GREEN BAY IS THE ONLY TEAM TO EVER MAKE A MISTAKE.
1. I'm still not sure how the Bears have found their way to 3-0 for the first time since 2006, but I do know they're the last and most unlikely team to be perfect in the NFC. This Chicago team is living something of a charmed existence so far in 2010; and in its own way, this game deserves to be right there alongside the Week 1 win over the Lions, in terms of winning with good fortune. It's true that Chicago hasn't played a complete game yet, but it's also true the Bears haven't lost yet, either. Would you rather be lucky or good?
I'll tell you how. In game one against the Lions they thoroughly dominated and outgained Detroit by 300 yards. Were it not for four fumbles the game wouldn't have been close. The game was close, and thus the Lions had a chance to win the game on a touchdown pass that wasn't a touchdown pass. They didn't so they lost the game. In Week 2 they went to Dallas, didn't commit a turnover, forced three, played great on both sides of the ball, and kicked the Cowboys' fucking asses. In Week 3 Green Bay had a bunch of long drives consisting of short passes and yet failed to score very often, because the Cover 2 worked to perfection and the Packers could not stop Julius Peppers without pulling him close by the jersey and going for a reacharound. When the Bears had the ball, they scored. Turns out that time of possession doesn't always matter that much. Also, I believe all three Chicago games have gone all four quarters and were complete by NFL rules.
Chicago quarterback Jay Cutler was his team's poster child for this peculiar game. He threw one interception against Green Bay, but it could have easily been five
Or ten! Or 27! Because that's how many passes he attempted! Theoretically all of them could have been picked off. Or they could all have been touchdowns! My god, 27 touchdown passes. Since we're just acting like plays that didn't happen DID happen, let's all stop to commend Jay Cutler on this mind-blowing single game touchdown record.
The Packers dropped two passes that were right in their hands (Nick Collins and Charles Woodson)
So did Desmond Clark. Cutler threw 1 TD pass, but it could have been two! Or 11!
and penalties wiped out two other Green Bay picks.Banks isn't the only asswipe touting this theory, and I have to commend everyone for this brilliant ignorance of the nature of cause and effect. Those two picks were taken away by the penalties, yes. The way Banks says this, it implies that they were fair interceptions and something unrelated took them away, so Cutler still made a poor decision in both cases. HOWEVAH, on the first one that was taken away, the ONLY REASON the pass was intercepted was because of the helmet-to-helmet contact that knocked the ball of course. If there's no helmet-to-helmet, that's doesn't mean the interception would have stayed, that means the pass would have been completed to Greg Olsen. On the other interception, Cutler saw Bennett being mugged and just threw it up. It's called "drawing a pass interference call." Good quarterbacks do this. CUTLER WOULD NEVER HAVE THROWN THE BALL IF HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TO GET THE CALL. My God, if Peyton Manning had done that Peter King would have been fogging up the windows of the pressbox while feverishly writing a hagiography touting Peyton's brilliant gamesmanship.
When you add in Green Bay's team-record 18 penalties for 152 yards (breaking a record set in 1945), and the Packers' special-team lapses, this had the feel of a self-inflicted Green Bay loss more than an impressive Chicago victory.
8 of those calls were on the offensive line and were the direct result of the defense holding Julius Peppers to prevent a sack or committing a false start because they were fucking afraid of having to block Julius Peppers. Meaning Green Bay didn't just commit them because they felt like it. Either way, Chicago was going to win the matchup. The roughing the passer nullfied a pick, this is true, but it came on the very next drive after THE SAME CALL WENT AGAINST THE BEARS and kept alive Green Bay's touchdown drive. The Bears commited five penalties as well. It's part of the game. Bad teams commit lots of penalties, and they lose the game because of it.
Skipping....
But I still can't see Chicago keeping this kind of mojo going throughout the season, looking downright outmatched in some parts of every game, but still finding a way to win. It happened against Detroit, in Chicago's shaky second half. It happened at Dallas, where the Bears started the game looking overmatched on the offensive line. And it happened against Green Bay, a team that dominated Chicago statistically for most of the night.
You mean the second half where the Bears took the lead and held Detroit without a single first down until the last drive where Detroit DIDN'T SCORE? And yeah, the Bears had two bad series on the offensive line against Dallas. Apparently two bad series=Cowboys actually dominated. And the only statistics that Green Bay dominated last night were time of possession and first downs. Well, and penalty yardage and turnovers. The Packers actually only had 3 more first downs then Chicago, had fewer rushing yards, and, umm, oh yeah, fewer fucking points.
Skipping some more....
3. The "new and improved'' Jay Cutler looked a lot like the old Jay Cutler to me at times.
Probably because that's just a figure of speech and he's really the same guy. Seriously. They didn't clone him or anything.
But that sure looked like the old, careless Cutler against Green Bay. The Bears quarterback sailed some passes, missed some easy throws and took several unnecessary risks. By his own admission, he didn't play anywhere near his best game in finishing 16 of 27 for 221 yards, with one touchdown and one interception.
But thanks to the sloppy Packers, Cutler didn't wind up paying for most of his mistakes. Cutler had some very pretty throws -- his 21-yard completion to Olsen on 2nd-and-20 in the fourth quarter was a thing of beauty -- and made some big plays when in clutch moments. But you can't live that dangerously every week in the NFL and survive. At the minimum, he threw three passes that should have resulted in Green Bay interceptions, and that would have been enough to get him beat on most nights.
But they weren't intercepted. That's part of playing in the NFL. Aaron Rodgers threw an interception last night, too. He also threw one that hit Izzy Idonijie right in the chest on a blown up screen play. NFL quarterbacks make bad throws. It's true. It totally happens. They have these things called "incompletions" and since no one has ever completed 100% of his pass attempts (other than Marty Booker), it turns out that no quarterback is perfect. Why many of those incompletions were good plays by the defense or could have been intercepted! Hell, you might say Jay Cutler takes a risk any time he puts it up in the air! That mad man!
Seriously, this is shit. Nothing that didn't actually happen in an NFL game matters. Calvin Johnson's no catch? Get the fuck over it, it didn't happen. If Detroit wants to bitch they can try gaining more than 168 yards and getting past the 50 yard line more than once in the second half. If Dallas "absolutely overwhelmed" the Bears they'd have had more than one sack and would not have lost the fucking game. Jay Cutler cannot be judged based on interceptions that didn't happen. I'll judge him based on the 109.7 rating he has on the passes that did.
Eat shit, Don Banks.
Around the NFL Week 3
Man, the day after it still feels really good that the Bears are 3-0 and in first place. It's also hilarious to hear everyone else trying to rationalize away the Packers loss to the point that they're still the "clear favorite" to win the division. That's fine. I'll be content with the "mathematical favorite" for now.
Bengals 20, Panthers 7
Really folks, Carolina is awful. Good to see Jimmy Clausen end the first half of his first start with a zero rating. The problem here is the fact that I'm forced to face the fact that Carson Palmer is done. We all know how much I love a good Armcock, and coming out of USC Carson was more or less the platonic ideal of a QB with armcock, armcockuracy, and all the "intangibles" that mediafolk love. Sadly, the injuries to his knee and rotator cuff have left him a shell of the man he used to be, and I just don't see the Bengals being able to go very far in that division without a quarterback who has a big enough arm to threaten the Steelers or one of the AFC elites in the playoffs.
Patriots 38, Bills 30
Wow, the Pats have a shitty defense. First the gimpy armed Carson Palmer gets them for 345 yards, then Rico Mirerez (yes, he's had two very good games, but Ryan Fitzpatrick's success against the Pats invalidates Mirerez's, while I'm just going to say the Dolphins have a terrible secondary without any evidence to back that up) torches them and now Ryan Fitzpatrick guides the Bills to 30 points. I'm actually beginning to look forward to seeing Cutler go up against them late this season.
Chiefs 31, 49ers 10
Aaaand that should do it for the 2010 49ers. I know the NFC West absolutely blows, but I think that team has just spiraled too far out of control. Pete Caroll will probably win the damn division at 8-8 and I have to see that happy bastard smile once again with an undeserved (well, I suppose in college it was more illegally-earned) sense of accomplishment. Oh, and the Chiefs are good outside of Matt Cassel, who, despite his 3 TDs on Sunday, still really sucks.
Titans 29, Giants 10
If I wasn't a backwards, jinx-fearing fool, I'd point out that the Giants are 4-10 in their last 14 games with 38 turnovers and that they look like a really bad football team. Alas, I won't say that because I'd rather not let the fact that I pointed out that the Giants kind of suck come back to haunt me. Even if they do suck. Nice rebound for VY, who I now begrudgingly root for if only because Jeff Fisher is a dick to him.
Ravens 24, Browns 17
Sure it was only against the Browns and you only threw the ball to Anquan Boldin, but you finally had a good game. Good for you, Flacco! Also, I can't decide if it's hilarious or sad that Browns fans are probably eagerly awaiting the return of Jake Delhomme. Probably both.
Steelers 38, Buccaneers 13
Well, the only thing surprising about this was the Steelers managing 38 points. One more game left without Rapey. They're definitely looking scary.
Falcons 27, Saints 24
Garrett Hartley kinda sucks. The Falcons are good, and they still had to drive down to get their own field goal to win the game, so people shouldn't say they didn't Beat New Orleans, but I'd still take the Saints in this division. It was good to see Matt Ryan finally string together consecutive good games for the first time since the first half of last season. I like the kid. I hope he's back on track.
Vikings 24, Lions 10
I really have to ask why the Lions ignore Calvin Johnson until the 4th quarter. Tough loss for the Lions. Favre still sucked (1:3 TD to INT ratio this year, with a 60.4 rating), but Peterson is doing everything he can to carry the Vikings. I have confidence that that won't be enough to win the North this year.
Cowboys 27, Texans 13
I don't buy that the Cowboys saved their season here, but, then again, the NFC East looks pretty shitty, so who knows? I do know that the Texans proved they're still the Texans by losing yet another winnable game.
Eagles 28, Jaguars 3
Beating a lame duck Jags team doesn't prove much of anything, but I have to finally concede that Michael Vick may, possibly, have learned, maybe, how to pass. In the abstract.
Rams 30, Redskins 16
Well, I didn't see this particular loss coming, but I can't say I'm all that surprised. The biggest problem for the Redskins over the last few years have been an inconsistent defense, one of the league's worst offensive lines, and a lack of a running game behind an aging Clinton Portis. Their fix to all of that was to sign Albert Haynesworth, the $100 Million Dollar Slave, and to trade for another quarterback who can take a beating behind that line. So no, they aren't playoff bound. Also, since we all know I'm a quarterback nut and one particularly interested in the handling of rookie QBs, I'm a huge fan of how the Rams are handling Bradford. They're letting him throw the ball (averaging 39 attempts) but also rolling him out, minimizing his reads, and letting him grow slowly while under fire.
Colts 27, Broncos 13
Suck it, McDaniels.
Cardinals 24, Raiders 23
Thanks to the ineptitude of Sebastian Janikowski, the Cardinals and Derek Anderson (currently sporting a young Jake Plummer-esque 67.6 passer rating) are now in the lead in the NFC West, because everyone west of the Mississippi hates quality football.
Seattle 27, Chargers 20
Well, San Diego's off to their standard September pants-shitting.
Jets 31, Dolphins 23
HOW HARD IS IT TO DOUBLE COVER DUSTIN KELLER? 6 OF THE FIRST 7 PASSES WENT TO HIM! DO NOT MAKE IT EASY FOR RICO MIREZ! Also, Chad Henne looked pissed (and rightfully so) everytime the Dolphins pulled him despite his absolute destruction of the Jets defense (363 yards) in order to run the f%&king Wildcat.
Well, that's it for the NFL this week. Prognostication Bukakke should be up in the next couple days. Go Bears.
Bengals 20, Panthers 7
Really folks, Carolina is awful. Good to see Jimmy Clausen end the first half of his first start with a zero rating. The problem here is the fact that I'm forced to face the fact that Carson Palmer is done. We all know how much I love a good Armcock, and coming out of USC Carson was more or less the platonic ideal of a QB with armcock, armcockuracy, and all the "intangibles" that mediafolk love. Sadly, the injuries to his knee and rotator cuff have left him a shell of the man he used to be, and I just don't see the Bengals being able to go very far in that division without a quarterback who has a big enough arm to threaten the Steelers or one of the AFC elites in the playoffs.
Patriots 38, Bills 30
Wow, the Pats have a shitty defense. First the gimpy armed Carson Palmer gets them for 345 yards, then Rico Mirerez (yes, he's had two very good games, but Ryan Fitzpatrick's success against the Pats invalidates Mirerez's, while I'm just going to say the Dolphins have a terrible secondary without any evidence to back that up) torches them and now Ryan Fitzpatrick guides the Bills to 30 points. I'm actually beginning to look forward to seeing Cutler go up against them late this season.
Chiefs 31, 49ers 10
Aaaand that should do it for the 2010 49ers. I know the NFC West absolutely blows, but I think that team has just spiraled too far out of control. Pete Caroll will probably win the damn division at 8-8 and I have to see that happy bastard smile once again with an undeserved (well, I suppose in college it was more illegally-earned) sense of accomplishment. Oh, and the Chiefs are good outside of Matt Cassel, who, despite his 3 TDs on Sunday, still really sucks.
Titans 29, Giants 10
If I wasn't a backwards, jinx-fearing fool, I'd point out that the Giants are 4-10 in their last 14 games with 38 turnovers and that they look like a really bad football team. Alas, I won't say that because I'd rather not let the fact that I pointed out that the Giants kind of suck come back to haunt me. Even if they do suck. Nice rebound for VY, who I now begrudgingly root for if only because Jeff Fisher is a dick to him.
Ravens 24, Browns 17
Sure it was only against the Browns and you only threw the ball to Anquan Boldin, but you finally had a good game. Good for you, Flacco! Also, I can't decide if it's hilarious or sad that Browns fans are probably eagerly awaiting the return of Jake Delhomme. Probably both.
Steelers 38, Buccaneers 13
Well, the only thing surprising about this was the Steelers managing 38 points. One more game left without Rapey. They're definitely looking scary.
Falcons 27, Saints 24
Garrett Hartley kinda sucks. The Falcons are good, and they still had to drive down to get their own field goal to win the game, so people shouldn't say they didn't Beat New Orleans, but I'd still take the Saints in this division. It was good to see Matt Ryan finally string together consecutive good games for the first time since the first half of last season. I like the kid. I hope he's back on track.
Vikings 24, Lions 10
I really have to ask why the Lions ignore Calvin Johnson until the 4th quarter. Tough loss for the Lions. Favre still sucked (1:3 TD to INT ratio this year, with a 60.4 rating), but Peterson is doing everything he can to carry the Vikings. I have confidence that that won't be enough to win the North this year.
Cowboys 27, Texans 13
I don't buy that the Cowboys saved their season here, but, then again, the NFC East looks pretty shitty, so who knows? I do know that the Texans proved they're still the Texans by losing yet another winnable game.
Eagles 28, Jaguars 3
Beating a lame duck Jags team doesn't prove much of anything, but I have to finally concede that Michael Vick may, possibly, have learned, maybe, how to pass. In the abstract.
Rams 30, Redskins 16
Well, I didn't see this particular loss coming, but I can't say I'm all that surprised. The biggest problem for the Redskins over the last few years have been an inconsistent defense, one of the league's worst offensive lines, and a lack of a running game behind an aging Clinton Portis. Their fix to all of that was to sign Albert Haynesworth, the $100 Million Dollar Slave, and to trade for another quarterback who can take a beating behind that line. So no, they aren't playoff bound. Also, since we all know I'm a quarterback nut and one particularly interested in the handling of rookie QBs, I'm a huge fan of how the Rams are handling Bradford. They're letting him throw the ball (averaging 39 attempts) but also rolling him out, minimizing his reads, and letting him grow slowly while under fire.
Colts 27, Broncos 13
Suck it, McDaniels.
Cardinals 24, Raiders 23
Thanks to the ineptitude of Sebastian Janikowski, the Cardinals and Derek Anderson (currently sporting a young Jake Plummer-esque 67.6 passer rating) are now in the lead in the NFC West, because everyone west of the Mississippi hates quality football.
Seattle 27, Chargers 20
Well, San Diego's off to their standard September pants-shitting.
Jets 31, Dolphins 23
HOW HARD IS IT TO DOUBLE COVER DUSTIN KELLER? 6 OF THE FIRST 7 PASSES WENT TO HIM! DO NOT MAKE IT EASY FOR RICO MIREZ! Also, Chad Henne looked pissed (and rightfully so) everytime the Dolphins pulled him despite his absolute destruction of the Jets defense (363 yards) in order to run the f%&king Wildcat.
Well, that's it for the NFL this week. Prognostication Bukakke should be up in the next couple days. Go Bears.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Bears 20, Packers 17- Bonertime.
First off, a quick note to Green Bay Packers fans and the media (especially you, Trent Dilfer):
THE GOOD:
Devin Hester: He's baaaaaack. Hester had two very good returns including his first return TD since 2007. Bonerific. God dammit, I love that sonofabitch.
Greg Olsen: For two straight weeks he's made me eat my words. Keep it up, you big lug. 5 catches for 64 yards and TD and they were all huge.
Johnny Knox: 4 catches, 94 yards. The most consistent receiver the Bears have.
UrlachBriggsamoa: The linebacking trio held Green Bay to just 63 yards rushing (with 20 of those coming on some ridiculous scrambles by Rodgers), Briggs had a pick, and Urlacher forced what was essentially the game winning fumble. Glorious. Please, for the love of all that is holy, stay healthy this year.
Julius Peppers: Michael Lombardi of the NFL said that he "didn't make the big plays" this game. Ummm....Mike, what the hell do you call blocking a field goal and forcing nearly 100 penalty yards singlehandedly? A holding call is a good defensive play. Why don't people acknowledge this? Lineman don't hold unless they know Peppers is half a second away from making Aaron Rodgers eat his helmet.
Tim Jennings: He recovered the fumble, had some big hits, and actually seemed to do a better job in coverage than Bowman, the man he replaced. Nice call, Lovie.
Jay Cutler: It wasn't the prettiest game he's ever played, but don't let a bunch of interceptions-that-weren't tarnish your view of what happened. Cutler took Green Bay's best shot and found a way to make them pay late. He's currently at 60/91 (65.9%) for 870 yards (9.6 YPA, 290 YPG) with 6 TDs, 2 INTs, and a 109.7 rating. He's now over .500 as a Bears starter. This, folks, is what a franchise fucking quarterback looks like. Enjoy it.
The Bad:
The offensive line: They settled down after allowing 3 early sacks, but Cutler still got hit way too damn many times and they only paved the way for 40 rushing yards (I'm not giving them credit for the 37 yards Jay racked up while running for his life.) They've got to be better.
Martz, Lovie, or whoever the hell was responsible for that fourth down call: I give credit to Martz for once again salvaging a working offense out of this patchwork offensive line, but that was a stupid call. USE THE QUARTERBACK SNEAK. YOU HAVE A 6'3" 230 LB QB WHO'S VERY MOBILE. Jesus. As for Lovie going for it on 4th down, well, take the points, moron.
Desmond Clark: All of that would have been a moot point if Dez actually catches that ball. I don't care if the throw was off, if it hits you in both hands you have to make that play.
ESPN: As usual, you people suck at everything. Trent Dilfer immediately dismissing the Bears win as a "disgrace for Green Bay." Replacing Jon Gruden with a GrudenBot that simply says "THIS GUY. I call him the __________. Because he _________." Allowing Mike Tirico near a microphone. Gainfully employing Matt Millen. SOMEHOW FINDING A WAY TO WORK IN FOOTAGE OF BRETT FAVRE'S FIRST CAREER START JESUS CHRIST YOU PEOPLE ARE RIDICULOUS.
Well, that's all for now, folks. Your Chicago Bears are 3-0 and alone in first place. The schedule features a ton of winnable games the next few weeks (@Giants, @Panthers, Seahawks, and Redskins). There's every reason to hope this team can enter the bye week at 7-0. Anything less than 6-1 would be a disappointment, frankly. They open up after the bye week with Buffalo in Toronto and then the Vikings at home. They need to win all of the games that they're supposed to win in that stretch, because the stretch run is going to be more difficult (@Dolphins, Eagles, Patriots, @ Vikings, Jets, @Packers). But enough of looking ahead. Savor this shit for now. The Bears are in first, the Packers are in second, and gameday is just six days away. Bear down, motherfuckers.
Holding calls, blocked field goals, and forced fumbles are caused by the defense. Green Bay didn't give the game away. Chicago took it. This is the NFL. If you "deserved" to win you would have. Robbie Gould missed a FG. Desmond Clark dropped a TD on a pass that hit him in the hands on 4th and Goal. Mike Martz once again forgot the QB sneak on 4th and goal. That's 10 points off the board for Chicago, but you don't hear me bitching. Grow up.
Now, onto the shoutouts:THE GOOD:
Devin Hester: He's baaaaaack. Hester had two very good returns including his first return TD since 2007. Bonerific. God dammit, I love that sonofabitch.
Greg Olsen: For two straight weeks he's made me eat my words. Keep it up, you big lug. 5 catches for 64 yards and TD and they were all huge.
Johnny Knox: 4 catches, 94 yards. The most consistent receiver the Bears have.
UrlachBriggsamoa: The linebacking trio held Green Bay to just 63 yards rushing (with 20 of those coming on some ridiculous scrambles by Rodgers), Briggs had a pick, and Urlacher forced what was essentially the game winning fumble. Glorious. Please, for the love of all that is holy, stay healthy this year.
Julius Peppers: Michael Lombardi of the NFL said that he "didn't make the big plays" this game. Ummm....Mike, what the hell do you call blocking a field goal and forcing nearly 100 penalty yards singlehandedly? A holding call is a good defensive play. Why don't people acknowledge this? Lineman don't hold unless they know Peppers is half a second away from making Aaron Rodgers eat his helmet.
Tim Jennings: He recovered the fumble, had some big hits, and actually seemed to do a better job in coverage than Bowman, the man he replaced. Nice call, Lovie.
Jay Cutler: It wasn't the prettiest game he's ever played, but don't let a bunch of interceptions-that-weren't tarnish your view of what happened. Cutler took Green Bay's best shot and found a way to make them pay late. He's currently at 60/91 (65.9%) for 870 yards (9.6 YPA, 290 YPG) with 6 TDs, 2 INTs, and a 109.7 rating. He's now over .500 as a Bears starter. This, folks, is what a franchise fucking quarterback looks like. Enjoy it.
The Bad:
The offensive line: They settled down after allowing 3 early sacks, but Cutler still got hit way too damn many times and they only paved the way for 40 rushing yards (I'm not giving them credit for the 37 yards Jay racked up while running for his life.) They've got to be better.
Martz, Lovie, or whoever the hell was responsible for that fourth down call: I give credit to Martz for once again salvaging a working offense out of this patchwork offensive line, but that was a stupid call. USE THE QUARTERBACK SNEAK. YOU HAVE A 6'3" 230 LB QB WHO'S VERY MOBILE. Jesus. As for Lovie going for it on 4th down, well, take the points, moron.
Desmond Clark: All of that would have been a moot point if Dez actually catches that ball. I don't care if the throw was off, if it hits you in both hands you have to make that play.
ESPN: As usual, you people suck at everything. Trent Dilfer immediately dismissing the Bears win as a "disgrace for Green Bay." Replacing Jon Gruden with a GrudenBot that simply says "THIS GUY. I call him the __________. Because he _________." Allowing Mike Tirico near a microphone. Gainfully employing Matt Millen. SOMEHOW FINDING A WAY TO WORK IN FOOTAGE OF BRETT FAVRE'S FIRST CAREER START JESUS CHRIST YOU PEOPLE ARE RIDICULOUS.
Well, that's all for now, folks. Your Chicago Bears are 3-0 and alone in first place. The schedule features a ton of winnable games the next few weeks (@Giants, @Panthers, Seahawks, and Redskins). There's every reason to hope this team can enter the bye week at 7-0. Anything less than 6-1 would be a disappointment, frankly. They open up after the bye week with Buffalo in Toronto and then the Vikings at home. They need to win all of the games that they're supposed to win in that stretch, because the stretch run is going to be more difficult (@Dolphins, Eagles, Patriots, @ Vikings, Jets, @Packers). But enough of looking ahead. Savor this shit for now. The Bears are in first, the Packers are in second, and gameday is just six days away. Bear down, motherfuckers.
College Football Roundup Week 4
Miami 31, Pittsburgh 3
Every year I tell myself I'm going to bury the axe and that the mature thing would be to forgive Dave Wannstedt for shitting on my childhood. Then this happens and I still really fucking enjoy it. Fuck you, Wanny.
Stanford 37, Notre Dame 14
I'm so glad that Notre Dame finally hired a head coach who doesn't start off with one deceivingly "good" first year with the last guys recruits before heading into the tank. Can we stop pretending they're relevant now?
UCLA 34, Texas 12
Holy shit, the Big 12 sucks. UCLA? Really? Yikes. At this point I'm just expecting Nebraska to go undefeated in the conference as a giant middle finger before they head off to the Big Ten.
Alabama 24, Arkansas 20
And lo, the Armcock didst fail in the face of adversity. But he said to his people "fear not, my children, for there is but one Saban, and I should still finish with only one conference loss and an at large bid to the Sugar Bowl"
Oklahoma 31, Cincinnati 29
Last year this would have been understandable. This year, however, it just means that the Big 12 is really bad. Also the Big East. I'm glad that in true Big Ten fashion they've managed to rejoin the ranks of the elite not by getting better, but by watching their rival conferences sink back into mediocrity.
Florida 48, Kentucky 14
It was good to see Steve Addazio finally unleash John Brantley in the first half. If he keeps his head out of his ass they might threaten Alabama.
Auburn 35, South Carolina 27
So Stephen Garcia finally learns how to pass, has 3 touchdown passes, is down by only 8, but Spurrier benches him for a freshman quarterback in the fourth quarter against a ranked opponent on the road. The freshman then throws 2 picks on his only two possessions. You should have retired before you ever left for the Redskins, Steve. Jesus Christ. You've totally lost it.
Boise State 37, Oregon State 24
About what I expected. Boise has to be hoping that OSU can contend for the Pac 10 title in order to strengthen their argument.
LSU 20, West Virginia 14
Yeah, neither of these teams is very good, actually.
Arizona 10, California 9
Arizona narrowly avoids the hangover loss after their big win over Iowa.
Oregon 42, Arizona State 31
Oregon's defense didn't look very good, but I think that won't be a problem, for the most part.
Every year I tell myself I'm going to bury the axe and that the mature thing would be to forgive Dave Wannstedt for shitting on my childhood. Then this happens and I still really fucking enjoy it. Fuck you, Wanny.
Stanford 37, Notre Dame 14
I'm so glad that Notre Dame finally hired a head coach who doesn't start off with one deceivingly "good" first year with the last guys recruits before heading into the tank. Can we stop pretending they're relevant now?
UCLA 34, Texas 12
Holy shit, the Big 12 sucks. UCLA? Really? Yikes. At this point I'm just expecting Nebraska to go undefeated in the conference as a giant middle finger before they head off to the Big Ten.
Alabama 24, Arkansas 20
And lo, the Armcock didst fail in the face of adversity. But he said to his people "fear not, my children, for there is but one Saban, and I should still finish with only one conference loss and an at large bid to the Sugar Bowl"
Oklahoma 31, Cincinnati 29
Last year this would have been understandable. This year, however, it just means that the Big 12 is really bad. Also the Big East. I'm glad that in true Big Ten fashion they've managed to rejoin the ranks of the elite not by getting better, but by watching their rival conferences sink back into mediocrity.
Florida 48, Kentucky 14
It was good to see Steve Addazio finally unleash John Brantley in the first half. If he keeps his head out of his ass they might threaten Alabama.
Auburn 35, South Carolina 27
So Stephen Garcia finally learns how to pass, has 3 touchdown passes, is down by only 8, but Spurrier benches him for a freshman quarterback in the fourth quarter against a ranked opponent on the road. The freshman then throws 2 picks on his only two possessions. You should have retired before you ever left for the Redskins, Steve. Jesus Christ. You've totally lost it.
Boise State 37, Oregon State 24
About what I expected. Boise has to be hoping that OSU can contend for the Pac 10 title in order to strengthen their argument.
LSU 20, West Virginia 14
Yeah, neither of these teams is very good, actually.
Arizona 10, California 9
Arizona narrowly avoids the hangover loss after their big win over Iowa.
Oregon 42, Arizona State 31
Oregon's defense didn't look very good, but I think that won't be a problem, for the most part.
Pivots, Drives, Levels, and 476 Passing Yards for Kyle Orton
I've mentioned before that I'm a big fan of the website SmartFootball.com. Chris Brown (not a rapper) does a better job with X's and O's than anybody else in the blog world (and certainly better than anything you're going to get on ESPN. But that's what you get when you hire Trent Dilfer to explain strategy.) Last year Chris wrote this article explaining how the Patriots' spread offense works in the NFL and specifically the things they do with Wes Welker in order to make the offense work.
Through three games the Patron Saint has put up 1,078 yards. Add that to his 3,802 yards from last year and Kyle's got almost 5,000 yards passing and a 257 ypg average as a Denver Bronco to go along with a 62.3 completion %, 7.3 YPA, and an 88.7 rating, all of which far exceed his averages as a Bear (55.3% completions, 161.2 YPG, 5.8 YPA, 71.1 Rating).
How is Kyle racking up these yards at such an alarming rate? It's all about the way Josh McDaniels schemes to get his receivers wide open. If you watch, the Broncos use a lot of play action and even the occasional roll out as well as numerous crossing routes and multiple wide receiver sets to create mismatches and get Kyle wide open guys on easy throws with plenty of room to move. Or, as Chris puts it:
"Critics say that all Welker does is catch a ton of short passes, as if that were something to regret. Bill Belichick is merely playing to Welker’s strengths, and the very point of the Pats’ pro-spread is to stretch the defense sideline to sideline — throw short, throw short and throw short, that is, until a defender jumps an underneath route, allowing Brady to find another receiver running free downfield."
Replace Welker with Gaffney or Brandon Lloyd and you get basically the same answer. The Broncos make extensive use of the pivot, drive, and levels plays that Chris talks about and charts in that article, so I'd suggest giving it a quick look through. Last year, according to footballoutsiders, Orton threw short passes or medium passes about 85% of the time. This year the Broncos are still doing the same things but with even greater success between the 20s. Watching the game yesterday, I think the only pass that actually traveled over 25 yards in the air was the 38 yarder to Lloyd, but Orton still has 13 completions this year of 25 yards or greater thanks to a tremendous job of finding guys in space.
Now, lord knows I've spent the last year and a half waffling between trying to maintain my support for Kyle, a player I genuinely like, and my desire to see the Denver Broncos fail in order to shut up the mouthbreathers who decide to throw out Kyle's great numbers with Denver every time Cutler throws an interception. More than once I've tried to explain why Kyle's been having the success he's having in Denver and yet why it's a bit misleading as the Broncos have struggled to score despite consistently large outputs in the yardage category. The money line has always been something like this:
"The problem is that when teams move from the "bend but don't break" philosophy that most defenses are forced to employ to their red zone defenses, the underneath stuff is taken away and teams have to revert to conventional out routes agains tighter coverage, the kinds of throws that NFL quarterbacks are made of. Orton, as we know, struggles with these, and the Broncos offense is a perfect example of the tendency of spread offenses to rack up yards and not points. The Broncos, despite Orton's 1,236 passing yards and the great run game leading to a 6th place ranking in total yards, are just 22nd in the league in scoring at 19.8 ppg."- That quote was from last October, but the point remains. Over his last seven games Kyle has averaged 322 yards passing and yet the Broncos are just 1-6 in those games and have only averaged 21 ppg.
The issues remains the same: red zone problems. The reason the Patriots went from 35 ppg in 2007 to 25 ppg in 2008 under Matt Cassel despite only dropping to 5th in the NFL in yardage was because of Matt Cassel's limitations. Cassel, like Orton now, struggles when defenses tighten up in the red zone and they run out of room to throw underneath. The inability of either team to run the ball (a common problem for spread offenses that college teams have solved only by featuring running QBS) all that successfully is yet another problem.
Kyle Orton hasn't magically become a world-beating quarterback. We didn't imagine the physical limitations that he has. Sure Ron Turner didn't utilize him as well as McDaniels has, but the end result (3.9 touchdown % in 2008 with the Bears, 3.9% in 2009 with the Broncos, 3.2% in 2010, 23.4 PPG for the 2008 Bears, 20.4 PPG for the 2009 Broncos, 20.3 for the 2010 Broncos) has been largely the same. Orton still can't make difficult throws against tight coverage, and that is why Josh McDaniels made the erroneous decision to draft Tim Tebow, and why I'd still rather have Jay Cutler.
Through three games the Patron Saint has put up 1,078 yards. Add that to his 3,802 yards from last year and Kyle's got almost 5,000 yards passing and a 257 ypg average as a Denver Bronco to go along with a 62.3 completion %, 7.3 YPA, and an 88.7 rating, all of which far exceed his averages as a Bear (55.3% completions, 161.2 YPG, 5.8 YPA, 71.1 Rating).
How is Kyle racking up these yards at such an alarming rate? It's all about the way Josh McDaniels schemes to get his receivers wide open. If you watch, the Broncos use a lot of play action and even the occasional roll out as well as numerous crossing routes and multiple wide receiver sets to create mismatches and get Kyle wide open guys on easy throws with plenty of room to move. Or, as Chris puts it:
"Critics say that all Welker does is catch a ton of short passes, as if that were something to regret. Bill Belichick is merely playing to Welker’s strengths, and the very point of the Pats’ pro-spread is to stretch the defense sideline to sideline — throw short, throw short and throw short, that is, until a defender jumps an underneath route, allowing Brady to find another receiver running free downfield."
Replace Welker with Gaffney or Brandon Lloyd and you get basically the same answer. The Broncos make extensive use of the pivot, drive, and levels plays that Chris talks about and charts in that article, so I'd suggest giving it a quick look through. Last year, according to footballoutsiders, Orton threw short passes or medium passes about 85% of the time. This year the Broncos are still doing the same things but with even greater success between the 20s. Watching the game yesterday, I think the only pass that actually traveled over 25 yards in the air was the 38 yarder to Lloyd, but Orton still has 13 completions this year of 25 yards or greater thanks to a tremendous job of finding guys in space.
Now, lord knows I've spent the last year and a half waffling between trying to maintain my support for Kyle, a player I genuinely like, and my desire to see the Denver Broncos fail in order to shut up the mouthbreathers who decide to throw out Kyle's great numbers with Denver every time Cutler throws an interception. More than once I've tried to explain why Kyle's been having the success he's having in Denver and yet why it's a bit misleading as the Broncos have struggled to score despite consistently large outputs in the yardage category. The money line has always been something like this:
"The problem is that when teams move from the "bend but don't break" philosophy that most defenses are forced to employ to their red zone defenses, the underneath stuff is taken away and teams have to revert to conventional out routes agains tighter coverage, the kinds of throws that NFL quarterbacks are made of. Orton, as we know, struggles with these, and the Broncos offense is a perfect example of the tendency of spread offenses to rack up yards and not points. The Broncos, despite Orton's 1,236 passing yards and the great run game leading to a 6th place ranking in total yards, are just 22nd in the league in scoring at 19.8 ppg."- That quote was from last October, but the point remains. Over his last seven games Kyle has averaged 322 yards passing and yet the Broncos are just 1-6 in those games and have only averaged 21 ppg.
The issues remains the same: red zone problems. The reason the Patriots went from 35 ppg in 2007 to 25 ppg in 2008 under Matt Cassel despite only dropping to 5th in the NFL in yardage was because of Matt Cassel's limitations. Cassel, like Orton now, struggles when defenses tighten up in the red zone and they run out of room to throw underneath. The inability of either team to run the ball (a common problem for spread offenses that college teams have solved only by featuring running QBS) all that successfully is yet another problem.
Kyle Orton hasn't magically become a world-beating quarterback. We didn't imagine the physical limitations that he has. Sure Ron Turner didn't utilize him as well as McDaniels has, but the end result (3.9 touchdown % in 2008 with the Bears, 3.9% in 2009 with the Broncos, 3.2% in 2010, 23.4 PPG for the 2008 Bears, 20.4 PPG for the 2009 Broncos, 20.3 for the 2010 Broncos) has been largely the same. Orton still can't make difficult throws against tight coverage, and that is why Josh McDaniels made the erroneous decision to draft Tim Tebow, and why I'd still rather have Jay Cutler.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Prognostication Bukakke! NFL Week 3
Last week in the NFL was not all that kind as I was just 10-6 to Iggins! 11-5, but there's always room for a comeback.
Cleveland @ Baltimore
Code Red: Hey! Maybe Joe Flacco will finally not suck! Ravens win.
Iggins!: Yeah, seriously though, why did the Ravens pass the ball 40 times? Ray Rice people! Ravens win.
Tennessee @ NY Giants
Iggins!: The Tits looked badbadbad last week, and pulling Vince Young is like forcing a mental patient to watch a horror movie, but for one week I can fool myself into thinking the Tits will be okay. Titans win.
Code Red: Did you see the Giants absolute FAIL against the Colts running game? Yeah, CJ2K will murder them. Titans win.
San Francisco @ Kansas City
Code Red: Tough loss for the 49ers. I just don't see them going to 0-3. There's too much talent on defense for them to lose to KC. 49ers win.
Iggins!: Kansas City has no offense yet they are 2-0. The luck has to run out somewhere right? 49ers win.
Code Red: God dammit. I really liked that thing you did last year where you picked the Chiefs to win like 7 games and they lost all of them.
Dallas @ Houston
Iggins!: This is a really good team against a really mediocre team. And it’s the total opposite of the way it was a couple years ago. Texans win.
Code Red: The Texans beat Dallas in their first ever game. Remember those Texans? David Carr actually doesn’t thanks to all of the brain damage. I’m not sure what my point is. Texans win.
Buffalo @ New England
Code Red: Yeaaah. I know it's unlikely that Buffalo will go 0-16 this year, but I just can't imagine picking them ever. Especially not against New England. Pats win.
Iggins!: Yeah they suck big balls. New England wins.
Detroit @ Minnesota
Iggins!: Well… Favre sucks… and the Lions have looked good their first two games… plus it would be hysterical, so Lions win.
Code Red: Last week I picked the Vikings and Iggins! picked against them. And they lost. Let’s make it two for two. Vikings win (but don’t!).
Cincinnati @ Carolina
Code Red: Oh good. That smug bastard Jimmy Clausen gets to make his first start against a terrifying Bengals secondary. This should be fun to watch. Bengals win, Panthers really suck.
Iggins!: I like watching metrosexual douchebags get crushed. Bengals win.
Atlanta @ New Orleans
Iggins!: Much like how Red won’t pick the Bills, I can’t see myself picking against the Saints. Saints win.
Code Red: Yeah, despite the horrendous beatdown of a Cardinals team that’s as bad as any seen since they were led by a young Jake Plummer, I’m not jumping in with the Falcons-knob-schlobbing club. Saints win.
Pittsburgh @ Tampa Bay
Code Red: It is mildly concerning that Pittsburgh may not score a single point on offense with Charlie Batch's corpse or a gimpy Byron Leftwich at quarterback, but they'll probably still win this anyway. Steelers win.
Iggins!: Can defense carry Pittsburgh to 3-0 without Roethlisberger? Against Josh Freeman I think it certainly can. Steelers win.
Code Red: F%&k you. Freeman’s not that bad! ARMCOCK.
Washington @ St. Louis
Iggins!: Washington is pretty good, and the Rams just aren’t. Washington wins.
Code Red: Or how about Washington is pretty sorta decent, and the Rams aren’t. Skins win, but they’ll go 8-8.
Philadelphia @ Jacksonville
Code Red: I don't know that I buy this new and improved “passing” Michael Vick. But I do know that Jacksonville blows. Eagles win, unfortunately.
Iggins!: Jacksonville is the hardest team to pick in the league. One week they can beat the best team in the league and the next they could lose to the Browns by 30. I think the Eagles will win but only because I don’t know what will happen and I don’t want to lose a game to Red.
Indianapolis @ Denver
Iggins!: So a coach comes in and trades away all his best players, replacing them with mediocre players and high draft picks that aren’t working out. Coach should be fired. Do it before you’re totally buried, Denver. Colts win.
Code Red: Yeah, but now he’s got a bunch of mediocre players that buy into the system. So they’ll go 8-8 with heart and determination. Colts win.
San Diego @ Seattle
Code Red: If the Broncos can hand Seattle their ass like that, San Diego will probably have their starters on the bench by halftime. Chargers win big.
Iggins!: Yeah, week 1 was a fluke for the Hawks. Chargers win.
Oakland @ Arizona
Iggins!: Oh wow. What a shitty game. Lost in the Raiders drama is Darren McFadden, who appears to have matured into the beast we thought he would be. I like the Raiders here.
Code Red: Derek Anderson vs. Bruce Gradkowski. What a disgrace to the concept of passing. Bill Walsh just rolled over in his grave. This will be worse than watching dueling Jake Plummers. Ugh. Cardinals win.
NY Jets @ Miami
Code Red: I think Miami's defense is better than New England, and I think Rico Mirerez will revert to form this week. Dolphins win at home.
Iggins!: Yeah, Sanchez tends to have awful games followed by great ones followed by awful ones, etc., so I like Miami as well.
Code Red: RICO MIREREZ. Make it stick, asshole.
Green Bay @ Chicago
Code Red: I don't think I'm lying when I say this is the biggest Bears-Packers game of my lifetime. The Bears can prove they're actually good with a win at home against Green Bay, and I may not draw a breath until the final gun. Bears win. Please, Gods of Football?
Iggins!: This game pits what may be the second and third best NFC teams against eachother. I think the Packers are the second best but at home I think the Bears can win. Bears win.
Cleveland @ Baltimore
Code Red: Hey! Maybe Joe Flacco will finally not suck! Ravens win.
Iggins!: Yeah, seriously though, why did the Ravens pass the ball 40 times? Ray Rice people! Ravens win.
Tennessee @ NY Giants
Iggins!: The Tits looked badbadbad last week, and pulling Vince Young is like forcing a mental patient to watch a horror movie, but for one week I can fool myself into thinking the Tits will be okay. Titans win.
Code Red: Did you see the Giants absolute FAIL against the Colts running game? Yeah, CJ2K will murder them. Titans win.
San Francisco @ Kansas City
Code Red: Tough loss for the 49ers. I just don't see them going to 0-3. There's too much talent on defense for them to lose to KC. 49ers win.
Iggins!: Kansas City has no offense yet they are 2-0. The luck has to run out somewhere right? 49ers win.
Code Red: God dammit. I really liked that thing you did last year where you picked the Chiefs to win like 7 games and they lost all of them.
Dallas @ Houston
Iggins!: This is a really good team against a really mediocre team. And it’s the total opposite of the way it was a couple years ago. Texans win.
Code Red: The Texans beat Dallas in their first ever game. Remember those Texans? David Carr actually doesn’t thanks to all of the brain damage. I’m not sure what my point is. Texans win.
Buffalo @ New England
Code Red: Yeaaah. I know it's unlikely that Buffalo will go 0-16 this year, but I just can't imagine picking them ever. Especially not against New England. Pats win.
Iggins!: Yeah they suck big balls. New England wins.
Detroit @ Minnesota
Iggins!: Well… Favre sucks… and the Lions have looked good their first two games… plus it would be hysterical, so Lions win.
Code Red: Last week I picked the Vikings and Iggins! picked against them. And they lost. Let’s make it two for two. Vikings win (but don’t!).
Cincinnati @ Carolina
Code Red: Oh good. That smug bastard Jimmy Clausen gets to make his first start against a terrifying Bengals secondary. This should be fun to watch. Bengals win, Panthers really suck.
Iggins!: I like watching metrosexual douchebags get crushed. Bengals win.
Atlanta @ New Orleans
Iggins!: Much like how Red won’t pick the Bills, I can’t see myself picking against the Saints. Saints win.
Code Red: Yeah, despite the horrendous beatdown of a Cardinals team that’s as bad as any seen since they were led by a young Jake Plummer, I’m not jumping in with the Falcons-knob-schlobbing club. Saints win.
Pittsburgh @ Tampa Bay
Code Red: It is mildly concerning that Pittsburgh may not score a single point on offense with Charlie Batch's corpse or a gimpy Byron Leftwich at quarterback, but they'll probably still win this anyway. Steelers win.
Iggins!: Can defense carry Pittsburgh to 3-0 without Roethlisberger? Against Josh Freeman I think it certainly can. Steelers win.
Code Red: F%&k you. Freeman’s not that bad! ARMCOCK.
Washington @ St. Louis
Iggins!: Washington is pretty good, and the Rams just aren’t. Washington wins.
Code Red: Or how about Washington is pretty sorta decent, and the Rams aren’t. Skins win, but they’ll go 8-8.
Philadelphia @ Jacksonville
Code Red: I don't know that I buy this new and improved “passing” Michael Vick. But I do know that Jacksonville blows. Eagles win, unfortunately.
Iggins!: Jacksonville is the hardest team to pick in the league. One week they can beat the best team in the league and the next they could lose to the Browns by 30. I think the Eagles will win but only because I don’t know what will happen and I don’t want to lose a game to Red.
Indianapolis @ Denver
Iggins!: So a coach comes in and trades away all his best players, replacing them with mediocre players and high draft picks that aren’t working out. Coach should be fired. Do it before you’re totally buried, Denver. Colts win.
Code Red: Yeah, but now he’s got a bunch of mediocre players that buy into the system. So they’ll go 8-8 with heart and determination. Colts win.
San Diego @ Seattle
Code Red: If the Broncos can hand Seattle their ass like that, San Diego will probably have their starters on the bench by halftime. Chargers win big.
Iggins!: Yeah, week 1 was a fluke for the Hawks. Chargers win.
Oakland @ Arizona
Iggins!: Oh wow. What a shitty game. Lost in the Raiders drama is Darren McFadden, who appears to have matured into the beast we thought he would be. I like the Raiders here.
Code Red: Derek Anderson vs. Bruce Gradkowski. What a disgrace to the concept of passing. Bill Walsh just rolled over in his grave. This will be worse than watching dueling Jake Plummers. Ugh. Cardinals win.
NY Jets @ Miami
Code Red: I think Miami's defense is better than New England, and I think Rico Mirerez will revert to form this week. Dolphins win at home.
Iggins!: Yeah, Sanchez tends to have awful games followed by great ones followed by awful ones, etc., so I like Miami as well.
Code Red: RICO MIREREZ. Make it stick, asshole.
Green Bay @ Chicago
Code Red: I don't think I'm lying when I say this is the biggest Bears-Packers game of my lifetime. The Bears can prove they're actually good with a win at home against Green Bay, and I may not draw a breath until the final gun. Bears win. Please, Gods of Football?
Iggins!: This game pits what may be the second and third best NFC teams against eachother. I think the Packers are the second best but at home I think the Bears can win. Bears win.
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