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Monday, September 27, 2010

Bears 20, Packers 17- Bonertime.

First off, a quick note to Green Bay Packers fans and the media (especially you, Trent Dilfer):

Holding calls, blocked field goals, and forced fumbles are caused by the defense. Green Bay didn't give the game away. Chicago took it. This is the NFL. If you "deserved" to win you would have. Robbie Gould missed a FG. Desmond Clark dropped a TD on a pass that hit him in the hands on 4th and Goal. Mike Martz once again forgot the QB sneak on 4th and goal. That's 10 points off the board for Chicago, but you don't hear me bitching. Grow up.

Now, onto the shoutouts:


Devin Hester: He's baaaaaack. Hester had two very good returns including his first return TD since 2007. Bonerific. God dammit, I love that sonofabitch.

Greg Olsen: For two straight weeks he's made me eat my words. Keep it up, you big lug. 5 catches for 64 yards and TD and they were all huge.

Johnny Knox: 4 catches, 94 yards. The most consistent receiver the Bears have.

UrlachBriggsamoa: The linebacking trio held Green Bay to just 63 yards rushing (with 20 of those coming on some ridiculous scrambles by Rodgers), Briggs had a pick, and Urlacher forced what was essentially the game winning fumble. Glorious. Please, for the love of all that is holy, stay healthy this year.

Julius Peppers: Michael Lombardi of the NFL said that he "didn't make the big plays" this game. Ummm....Mike, what the hell do you call blocking a field goal and forcing nearly 100 penalty yards singlehandedly? A holding call is a good defensive play. Why don't people acknowledge this? Lineman don't hold unless they know Peppers is half a second away from making Aaron Rodgers eat his helmet.

Tim Jennings: He recovered the fumble, had some big hits, and actually seemed to do a better job in coverage than Bowman, the man he replaced. Nice call, Lovie.

Jay Cutler: It wasn't the prettiest game he's ever played, but don't let a bunch of interceptions-that-weren't tarnish your view of what happened. Cutler took Green Bay's best shot and found a way to make them pay late. He's currently at 60/91 (65.9%) for 870 yards (9.6 YPA, 290 YPG) with 6 TDs, 2 INTs, and a 109.7 rating. He's now over .500 as a Bears starter. This, folks, is what a franchise fucking quarterback looks like. Enjoy it.

The Bad:

The offensive line: They settled down after allowing 3 early sacks, but Cutler still got hit way too damn many times and they only paved the way for 40 rushing yards (I'm not giving them credit for the 37 yards Jay racked up while running for his life.) They've got to be better.

Martz, Lovie, or whoever the hell was responsible for that fourth down call: I give credit to Martz for once again salvaging a working offense out of this patchwork offensive line, but that was a stupid call. USE THE QUARTERBACK SNEAK. YOU HAVE A 6'3" 230 LB QB WHO'S VERY MOBILE. Jesus. As for Lovie going for it on 4th down, well, take the points, moron.

Desmond Clark: All of that would have been a moot point if Dez actually catches that ball. I don't care if the throw was off, if it hits you in both hands you have to make that play.

ESPN: As usual, you people suck at everything. Trent Dilfer immediately dismissing the Bears win as a "disgrace for Green Bay." Replacing Jon Gruden with a GrudenBot that simply says "THIS GUY. I call him the __________. Because he _________." Allowing Mike Tirico near a microphone. Gainfully employing Matt Millen. SOMEHOW FINDING A WAY TO WORK IN FOOTAGE OF BRETT FAVRE'S FIRST CAREER START JESUS CHRIST YOU PEOPLE ARE RIDICULOUS.

Well, that's all for now, folks. Your Chicago Bears are 3-0 and alone in first place. The schedule features a ton of winnable games the next few weeks (@Giants, @Panthers, Seahawks, and Redskins). There's every reason to hope this team can enter the bye week at 7-0. Anything less than 6-1 would be a disappointment, frankly. They open up after the bye week with Buffalo in Toronto and then the Vikings at home. They need to win all of the games that they're supposed to win in that stretch, because the stretch run is going to be more difficult (@Dolphins, Eagles, Patriots, @ Vikings, Jets, @Packers). But enough of looking ahead. Savor this shit for now. The Bears are in first, the Packers are in second, and gameday is just six days away. Bear down, motherfuckers.

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