Atlanta 16, San Francisco 14
So the Falcons have now beaten the Cardinals, who suck, and the Saints because of a missed field goal, and now the 49ers because of a fumbled interception return where, if Clements had just taken a knee, they'd have lost. Those are three less than convincing wins. Why is it that they get a pass from the "ARE THE BEARS FOR REAL?" media?
NY Jets 38, Buffalo 14
God the Bills are horrible.
Baltimore 17, Pittsburgh 14
I'd still have to go with Pittsburgh as the favorite in that division, since Rapelisberger will give the Steelers a functioning offense.
New Orleans 16, Carolina 14
The three teams that the Saints have beaten are 1-10, and yet they've won those three games by a combined 10 points. Now, New Orleans is a great team and they obviously deserve to be acknowledged as so because of what they did last year, but again, why the hell are the Bears the only team that gets grief for winning 3 close games?
Denver 26, Tennessee 20
As usual, Vince Young only wins when I do not desire it. F*&k you, Vince. You could have done me a solid here and landed on right in McDaniels' smarmy cockface, and you failed.
Cleveland 23, Cincinnati 20
I'm not sure at all how Cleveland won this game despite their absolute refusal to cover the Bengals' receivers at all, but good for them.
Green Bay 28, Detroit 26
Green Bay only beat Detroit by 2 points. They were aided in this by 13 Detroit penalties. Does that invalidate the victory? Well, based on the logic of Green Bay fa-Whatever. Just shut the fuck up now, Cheeseheads, and keep telling yourself all is well with your "Superbowl favorites."
St. Louis 20, Seattle 3
I can't make heads or tails of the NFC or AFC Wests this year, but I do not that I am awesome for calling that St. Louis would win this game. I'm absolutely pulling for them to win the division. The crazy thing is that that's Not unthinkable.
Houston 31, Oakland 24
In previous years this is exactly the kind of game the Texans would have dropped. Maybe they are growing up.
Jacksonville 31, Indianapolis 28
God dammit, Jacksonville. Why can't I ever understand you?
San Diego 41, Arizona 10
With the news that Max Hall will get the start for the Cardinals this week, I can't help but think they should lure their old quarterback out of retirement. You know who I mean.
Washington 17, Philadelphia 12
Wow, Kevin Kolb sucks. It was sickening how much I was forced to agree with Troy Aikman as he ranted and raved about how big of a coward Kolb was for his refusal to throw anything downfield. Oh, and Washington isn't very good either.
New England 41, Miami 14
Thank you, Dolphins special teams, for making the Bears offensive line look like a less atrocious unit by comparison. Brutal. New England's secondary still sucks. And regardless of whatever the "Patriot Way" says, they'll miss Randy Moss. Thanks a lot, assholes.