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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Bottom 10 Bears Quarterbacks Of My Lifetime

In honor of Rex returning to the starting job, giving him one final chance, and giving us one final hope that he may become the Bears first legitimate quarterback in decades, or, failing Rex, our website's namesake, I have decided to list the 10 main reasons Why we have hung onto Rex so desperately despite his best efforts to make us hate him. Because really, if you ever need a reminder of how good we had it during Rex's good games last year, and hell, even Griese's starts this year, I give you ten reminders of how dark it can get.

#10- Chad Hutchinson

Chad was signed by the Dallas Cowboys in 2002 as the first of two Jerry Jones attempts to sign failed baseball players that were mediocre college quarterbacks and make them into NFL stars. That doesn't make sense you say? Well, welcome to the mind of Jerry Jones. Chad started 9 games after taking over for Quincy Carter as Cowboys starter in 2002 and went a robust 2-7. When Bill Parcells took over in Dallas, he tolerated Chad's surfer boy demeanor and deer in the headlights style of quarterbacking for all of one season as a backup and then cut him. After Rex tore his ACL in the third game of the 2004 season, Chad signed with the Bears and spent the next seven games trying to grasp the vast and ineffective playbook of Terry Shea. After a surprisingly amazing game against the Vikings in his first start where he threw for over 200 yards and 3 touchdowns, Chad then went 0-5 the remainder of the season against powerhouses such as the Houston Texans and Detroit Lions, barely averaging 5 yards per attempt, and making Bears history (by that I mean what I can remember) by scoring a miraculous 5 points against the Texans in a 24-5 loss. After Devestating Rex Injury #2 in the 2005 preseason, Chad was handed the starting job and managed to lose it after two preaseason starts, culminating in a 1 for 13 game against Buffalo, leaving Lovie to make the obvious (and therefore surprising) move of naming rookie Kyle Orton the starter and cutting Chad.

Chad's Line: 6 games played, 6 starts, 92 of 161 passing for a 57% comp. rate, 903 yards, 4 tds, 3 ints,a 73.5 rating and a meager 5.6 yards per attempt.

#9 Steve Stenstrom

Coach, I finally found that end zone dealy you were talkin about. Now what do I do with the ball?
Steve marks the second Stanford quarterback to make this list (also is only the 2nd quarterback. Stanford sucks). Bill Walsh coached Steve at Stanford during his second college coaching stint and made the remark that he considered him the second coming of Joe Montana. In reality, he was the second coming of Steve Fuller. Steve spent four years with the Bears from 95-98, but was only given the opportunity to start in his final year. He started seven games and went an impressive 1-6. After finally giving him the opportunity to suck all four quarters, the Bears were disappointed in their Mini Montana and released him. San Fransisco then picked up Stenstrom, believing that playing for the same team as Montana would unleash his inner wonderboy. They were wrong.

Steve's Line: 13 games, 7 starts, 123 of 214, 57 % comp., 1,359 yds, 6.4 ypa, 4 tds, 8 ints, 67.1 QB rating.

#8-Chris Chandler

Chris "Chandelier" holds the distinction of being Brian Griese before Brian Griese. Before the 2002 season the Bears beat out several teams for the insurance policy of having Chris Chandler at quarterback, as he had just been run out of Atlanta after being replaced by the young Michael Vick. Boy, what a deal the Bears got in this one. Chandler managed to be even more fragile than the porcelain Jim Miller, and the repeated injuries to both enabled such illustrious quarterbacks as Henry Burris and Kordell Stewart (don't worry, they're coming) to start games for the Bears. But Chris isn't here just for letting crappier quarterbacks onto the field, he did a fine job of sucking on his own when he was "healthy" enough to play. In his two seasons with the Bears Chris started 15 games, and went a healthy 5-10 in those starts. He also had the most hilarious male pattern baldness known to man, and was the fastest person I've ever seen at switching from helmet to sideline caps the numerous times he was benched.

Chris's line: 17 games, 15 starts, 210 of 353, 59% comp., 2,073 yds, 5.9 ypa. 7 tds, 12 ints, 68.6 rating.

#7- Peter Tom Willis

I'm Peter Tom Willis, and I Sucked So Bad in the NFL no one took my picture.

Peter Tom Willis, or PT, was a very efficient and popular quarterback at Florida State in the late 1980s, and still holds the Florida State record for passing efficiency at 148.1. However, all Florida State quarterbacks are no talent hacks who are lucky to make mediocre backups in the NFL. Peter was unlucky in that he wasn't mediocre. He sucked. The Bears drafted PT in the 3rd round in 1990 hoping to use him as a solid backup to Jim Harbaugh after the departure of Mike Tomczak. For two years, PT was just that, as Mike Ditka refused to start him in 1990 or 1991 no matter how many times Bears fans became fed up with the sometimes poor play of Jim Harbaugh. In 1992, with the Bears sinking in an eventual 5-11 season, Ditka finally benched Harbaugh after 12 games and started PT in weeks 14, 15, 16. PT went 1-2 in those starts before being benched for rookie Will Furrer in the season finale. The Bears kept PT around for the 1993 season, and the dazzling combo of head coach Dave Wannstedt and the terrible play of Harbaugh in his final season in Chicago gave PT one final chance to start for Chicago. He failed.

PT's Line: 21 games, 4 starts, 104 of 183, 57% comp., 1,261 yds, 6.9 ypa, 6 tds, 15 ints, 54.9 QB Rating.

#6-Craig Krenzel

Craig Krenzel was the starting quarterback for Ohio State during their 2002 national title run. He is what most people would call the prototypical caretaker quarterback. His right arm was designed to hand off and throw screen passes. In the Bears quarterback evaluation process, that makes him NFL-worthy, and the Bears drafted Craig in the 5th round of the 2004 draft to serve as the third stringer behind Rex Grossman and Jonathan Quinn. After Grossman was injured and Quinn..we'll get to that later, Craig was given the chance to start in week 7 of the 2004 season. Despite being absolutely atrocious as starting quarterback, Craig managed to win his first three NFL games because of stellar play by the defense and special teams, and the fact that his first three opponents went a combined 15-33 that season. Craig and the Bears then lost his next two starts, the last one against Dallas resulting in an injury to Craig's hand or foot or something that landed him on the IR for the rest of the season. I'll give Craig's regular stat line in a minute, but I want you to consider something, in 6 games as starter Craig threw six interceptions and had four fumbles. thats 10 turnovers in 6 games, while throwing only 3 touchdowns. So if you thought Rex and Brian were turnover prone, imagine the turnovers without any production to counterbalance it. There's Craig.

Craig's Line: 6 games, 5 starts, 59 of 127, 46% comp., 718 yds, 5.7 ypa, 3 tds, 6 ints, 52.5 QB Rating.

Bottom 5 to come later in the day or tomorrow.

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