Jay Cutler and Aaron Rodgers, or All Sacks Are Not Created Equal

Pictured: Cutler (Top) runs for life, while Rodgers (Bottom) stands tall in pocket.

I've been a pretty fervent defender of the season Jay Cutler had last year. While I agree that Jay should have simply eaten the ball on a number of the interceptions he threw, there's still no doubt in my mind that most of his problems last year stemmed from a god awful offensive line. One of the rebuttals I've heard to this argument is that "Aaron Rodgers took more sacks than any other quarterback in the league and he still had a great season."

On the surface, this argument is solid and compelling. Rodgers did, in fact, take 50 sacks, which makes Jay's 35 seem paltry by comparison, and Rodgers (who, though I'm loathe to admit it, is a phenomenal quarterback), did have an outstanding season, with a 64.7 completion %, 4434 yards passing, 30 tds, 7 ints, and a stellar 103.2 rating. However, there are a number of different reasons why quarterbacks take sacks, and, quite frankly, almost all of the other evidence supports the notion that Green Bay had a better offensive line than Chicago this year.

1. Rodgers took sacks because he threw the ball deep.

As the 42.8 sacks averaged each year by a Mike Martz offense will attest, any time you have a quarterback take mostly 5-7 step drops and go for a vertical passing game above all else, your quarterback is often going to get hit before he can let it loose. Rodgers averaged 8.2 yards per attempt, good for 4th in the NFL, and he averaged 12.7 yards per completion, good for 5th in the NFL. That's indicative of a high number of completed deep balls, and Rodgers was 9th in the league with 55 passes over 20 yards, and 1st in the league with 17 passes that went over 40 yards. In an offense that features that many deep balls, the chances for sacks goes up.

In Cutler's case, the deep ball wasn't as much of an option. While Cutler actually had 1 more completion over 20 yards than Rodgers, he had just 6 passes go 40 yards or more. He averaged a career low 6.6 yards per attempt and a mere 10.9 yards per completion (vs. the 7.4 ypa and 11.8 ypc he managed in Denver (11.8 yards per completion? Why that's the exact same as Peyton Manning's career average! Odd)). Jay took far fewer 7 step drops than Rodgers and was forced to dump it off much more, thus bringing down his averages in those categories, since we know it isn't out of any physical inability to throw the ball deep.

2. Rodgers holds the ball too long.

This is one explanation that gets thrown out any time a quarterback takes that many sacks, but in Rodgers case, it seems to be true. I won't dwell on this very long, because it's the weakest part of the argument and it's hard to prove statistically, but from what I've seen in the games, Rodgers should take at least some responsibility for holding the ball too long.

Cutler, unfortunately, tends not to hold the ball long enough and rushes throws that become interceptions, but the sacks he does take tend to come rather quickly after the snap. So...win?

3. The Packers actually had a running game.

While some offensive lines are much better at pass blocking than run blocking or vice versa, there's generally some level of correlation. If you're good at one, you're probably not awful at the other. The Bears offensive line sucked at both, with the 35 sacks surrendered going along neatly with their 29th ranked rushing attack.

The Packers? Well, their run game was actually pretty good. They rushed for 1885 yds (118 ypg), good for 14th in the league, and we're 13th in the league in yards per rush (Bears were 26th). This means that teams actually had to respect the run when playing the Packers.

Simply put, Cutler had to face far more pressure against defenses that knew, more often than not, that the Bears Had to pass if they had any hope of moving the ball. He was alone on an island with little help from the run game and inexperienced wide receivers. Rodgers had the threat of the run to take the pressure off, as well as one of the best wide receiver corps in the game with Greg Jennings and Donald Driver, who were much better at making adjustments and coming back to the ball than the young Chicago corps.

4. The Packers offensive line improved as the year went on.

After 10 games, the Packers had given up 43 sacks and were stuck in the middle of the pack at 6-4. Over their last 6 games, however, their offensive line showed drastic improvement and gave up just 7 sacks as the team went 5-1 to clinch a wildcard spot. Rodgers was sacked just once in each of the Green Bay's last five games.

The Bears? Well, they remained consistently awful. Granted, most of us will remember that they actually did improve slightly after Orlando Pace was benched, but they still remained far below average, as they gave up at least 2 sacks in all but 3 games last season. On average, Cutler was sacked 2.5 times per game as the Bears folded down the stretch, while Rodgers went down just 1.2 times per game as Green Bay raced to the playoffs.

So there you have it. Now, let me make this clear to anyone who thinks I'm being completely irrational: Aaron Rodgers is better than Jay Cutler (right now). You'd have to be really thick-headed to take the league leader in interceptions over a guy who currently holds the highest career passer rating in NFL history. However, it is not, as I've said, an invalid argument to blame many of Cutler's problems on a poor offensive line while ignoring how well Rodgers played despite 50 sacks. Frankly, all of the other numbers outside of those 15 extra sacks clearly show that Green Bay had a much, much better offensive line.

Dammit, People, It Wasn't Tim Couch's Fault

It's okay, Tim. I understand.

I'm going to digress from the Bears today (what's that? I do it all the time? Well, no one's reading anyways) and talk about an anecdote from this article by Steve Wyche of NFL.com. In the article, Wyche makes the case for JaMarcus Russell supplanting Ryan Leaf as the greatest draft bust of all time (which, while I may disagree, is an argument with a great deal of merit), but he also lists his top ten draft busts of all time. Wyche has Tim Couch at #3. This cannot stand.

Tim Couch was not a bust at all. I repeat, Tim Couch was Never a bust. Let's look at the statlines of the QBs Wyche has in his list:

JaMarcus Russell- 31 Games, 25 Starts (7-18), 354 comp./680 att. (52.1%), 4083 yds, 18 tds, 23 ints, 6.0 ypa, 131.7 ypg, 65.2 rating

Ryan Leaf- 25 games, 21 starts (4-17), 317 comp./655 att. (48.4%), 3666 yds, 14 tds, 36 ints, 5.6 ypa, 146.6 ypg, 50.0 rating

Tim Couch- 62 games, 59 starts (22-37), 1025 comp./1714 att. (59.8%), 11131 yds, 64 tds, 67 ints, 6.5 ypa, 179.5 ypg, 75.1 rating

Akili Smith- 22 games, 17 starts (3-14), 215 comp./461 att. (46.6%), 2212 yds, 5 tds, 13 ints, 4.8 ypa, 100.5 ypg, 52.8 rating

Heath Shuler- 29 games, 22 starts (8-14), 292 comp./593 att. (49.2%), 3691 yds, 15 tds, 33 ints, 6.2 ypa, 127.3 ypg, 54.3 rating

Notice how Tim Couch is light years ahead of the rest of them (including the two who were BELOW him on this list) in every single category? Hell, compare him to some other first round quarterbacks in the last couple decades who were much worse, like Brady Quinn, Matt Leinart, Alex Smith (he may have turned it around last year, but he was garbage his first four years), Kyle Boller, Joey Harrington, Cade F*&king McNown, Jim Druckenmiller, Trent Dilfer, Rick F*&king Mirer, David Klingler, Tommy Maddox, Todd Marinovich, Dan McGwire, Andre Ware, Kelly Stouffer, or Chuck Long, just to name a few. Statistically speaking, Couch is better than all of them. And that's just the quarterbacks. That doesn't include colossal busts at every other position on the field. That also doesn't include the off-field problems of many of those busts (Cade's assholery, Matt Leinart's partying, Marinovich's drug abuse, Leaf's total dickishness, JaMarcus' missing work ethic), none of which Tim Couch was ever accused of. Tim Couch shouldn't even sniff a top ten busts lists, let alone wind up at #3.

Sure, there are people who will argue that he didn't live up to the expectations of the number one overall pick, or as Wyche says, "he didn't have the makings of an NFL quarterback," but that's absolute horseshit. Couch took over the reigns of an expansion team from the 2nd game of his rookie season and improved each season until he took them to the playoffs in 2002. Couch's rookie season alone was a testament to his ability to perform as well as possible despite the total dearth of talent around him. Couch was sacked a league leading 56 times in 1999, and yet he managed to 223 of 399 passes (55.9%) for 2447 yards, 15 tds, only 13 interceptions, and a 73.2 rating. Compare that to some other quarterbacks placed into similar situations for first year expansion teams:

David Carr (2002 Texans)- 233/444 (52.5%), 2592 yds, 9 tds, 15 ints, 62.8 rating

Mark Brunell (1995 Jaguars)- 201/346 (58.1%), 2168 yds, 15 tds, 7 ints, 82.6 rating

Kerry Collins (1995 Panthers)- 214/433 (49.4%), 2717 yds, 14 tds, 19 ints, 61.9 rating

Jim Zorn (1976 Seahawks)- 208/439 (47.4%), 2571 yds, 12 tds, 27 ints, 49.5 rating

Steve Spurrier (1976 Buccaneers)- 156/311 (50.2%), 1628 yds, 7 tds, 12 ints, 57.1 rating

As you can see, Couch was better than any of those quarterbacks other than Mark Brunell, and he was certainly better than the other three rookies (Carr, Collins, Zorn). Also, Brunell and Collins both benefitted from the fact that the Panthers and Jaguars were both expansion teams run by non-morons that added talent and actually advanced to their respective conference championship games in their second seasons.

Hell, compare Couch's rookie season to that of some other QBs taken #1 overall in recent decades:

Matthew Stafford, 2009: 10 G, 10 GS (2-8), 201/377 (53.3%), 2267 yds, 13 tds, 20 ints, 6.0 ypa, 226.7 ypg, 61.0 rating.

Eli Manning, 2004: 9 G, 7 GS (1-6), 95/197 (48.2%), 1043 yds, 6 tds, 9 ints, 5.3 ypa, 115.9 ypg, 55.4 rating.

Tim Couch, 1999: 14 G, 14 GS (2-12), 223/399 (55.9%), 2447 yds, 15 tds, 13 ints, 6.1 ypa, 163.1 ypg, 73.2 rating.

Peyton Manning, 1998: 16 G, 16 GS (3-13), 326/575 (56.7%), 3739 yds, 26 tds, 28 ints, 6.5 ypa, 233.7 ypg, 71.2 rating.

Drew Bledsoe, 1993: 13 G, 12 GS (5-7), 214/429 (49.9%), 2494 yds, 15 tds, 15 ints, 5.8 ypa, 191.8 ypg, 65.0 rating.

Troy Aikman, 1989: 11 G, 11 GS (0-11), 155/293 (52.9%), 1749 yds, 9 tds, 18 ints, 6.0 ypa, 159.0 ypg, 55.7

You can see from these stats that Couch actually played better than most, and comparable in many categories to Peyton Manning. But whereas Aikman or the Mannings played on teams that went out to add talent around their young quarterback (Irvin and Emmitt Smith for Aikman, Edgerrin James, Marvin Harrison, and Reggie Wayne for Peyton, and Plaxico Burress, etc. for Eli) Couch played for the Browns, who failed to take a single offensive lineman in the first two rounds during Couch's tenure, or to draft a runningback until they picked the woeful William Green in the first round in 2002. The four second round wide receivers the Browns picked during that time, Kevin Johnson, Andre' Davis, Quincy Morgan, and Dennis Northcutt, proved to be major disappointments, leaving Couch largely isolated without a running game or playmakers to take the pressure off of his offensive line. Couch was thus sacked almost 10% of the time he dropped back to pass, and the injuries began to pile up. He simply wasn't put in a position to take the next step forward like many of his fellow #1 picks.

The ineptitude of the Browns (and the fact that it wasn't, in fact, Couch's fault) can be seen in the performance of every other Browns quarterback but Couch since the restoration:

Tim Couch (posted again for comparison's sake): 62 games, 59 starts (22-37, 0.373 win%), 1025/1714 (59.8%), 11131 yds, 64 tds, 67 ints, 6.5 ypa, 179.5 ypg, 75.1 rating.

All other Browns QBs since 1999: 149 games, 117 games started (37-80, 0.316 win%), 2075/3685 (56.3%), 22731 yds, 127 tds, 147 ints, 6.2 ypa, 152.6, 69.6 rating.

As you can see, Couch is, once again, superior to all of the rest of the QBs the Browns have thrown into the fire, and the franchise as a whole had a better winning % when he started than when he hasn't.

Tim Couch's problems are entirely the fault of the Brown's organization. Tim was a guy that played in a spread offense at Kentucky before anyone really knew what that means. Rather than letting him sit the bench and learn a pro-style offense for a year or two, they threw him out there and let him get clobbered behind a god awful offensive line. Even then he performed far better than most rookies, and far better than most rookie spread QBs (I'm looking at you, Alex Smith). His arm strength wasn't great, but it was at least NFL-quality and it was nowhere near as poor as most people have retroactively graded it until he suffered repeated shoulder injuries. The shoulder injuries are also the reason he's failed in every comeback attempt. The Packers cut him when they saw just how frayed his ligaments were. The Browns organization truly had ruined him.

You can say that the Browns never got what they hoped for out Tim Couch. His career was indeed a disappointment, but not for any failings of his own. I think it's more apt to say that Browns fans, and Tim Couch, haven't gone what they hoped for out of the Browns organization.

Marc Bulger? I'll Pass.

If you're an obsessive football fan like I am, you know how useful ProFootballTalk is. The up to the minute rumors are very helpful for..obsessing over football. However, you also probably hate Mike Florio, the guy that runs the site. I've taken shots at his snarky, sniveling shots at Jay Cutler before, but really he's not biased against Cutler anymore than he is any other player he doesn't likes. It's shit like this article, however, that really gets my goat. In article talking about how the Jerry Angelo stating that the Bears are continuing to look into the notion of signing a veteran quarterback (specifically, Marc Bulger), Florio has this to say:

So why hasn't it happened? Because, in our view, Angelo doesn't want Martz and coach Lovie Smith to have a guy who can help salvage the season -- and their jobs -- if Cutler struggles through an early-season schedule that includes games against the Cowboys, Packers, and Giants. (We focused on this specific issue last month for SportingNews.com.) If the Bears fail with Cutler, Smith goes but Angelo likely stays. If Cutler gets benched and Bulger can't turn things around, Smith and Angelo likely will go, since Angelo pulled the trigger on giving up two first-round picks for a guy who ultimately couldn't hold off a player signed off the street.

Sure, Angelo shouldn't be motivated by protecting his position. But there has to be a reason for the fact that the Bears haven't already signed Bulger. And that's the most logical explanation for it.

Look, I'll buy that Jerry Angelo might do or not do something just to cover his own ass, but you really think that's the MOST logical explanation? Here, I'll give you some more logical explanations:

1. They just drafted a quarterback
Dan LeFevour is a very talented player with a lot of potential who could be a legitimately good quarterback after some time on the bench. He's not going to displace Cutler, but it's very possible that he could be a quality back-up or even a guy other teams will take a look at (sort of like Favre's former backups Mark Brunell, Matt Hasselbeck, and Aaron Brooks, or Charlie Whitehurst, who brought a 3rd round pick to San Diego in a trade with Seattle). If you can take a quarterback like that in the 6th round and redeem that pick later with a higher round pick, that's a great move, and worth more than a veteran who'll probably spend 16 games holding a clipboard at best.

2. They already have a quarterback in Caleb Hanie
True, Caleb's only thrown 11 NFL passes and looked mediocre doing so. However, I don't think throwing him into the fire in a late game blowout against the Ravens defense is a fair test for the guy. He's looked great in both of his preseasons, and while preseason numbers don't meant shit, his technique and his arm strength and mobility have looked good. I realize Martz isn't sold on him yet, but he's another guy with great potential. I have confidence that Caleb Hanie wouldn't embarass himself if he has to start and gets all of the practice reps.

3. They just spent an assload of money on free agents, have yet to sign their draft picks, and Bulger would probably cost more than Hanie/LeFevour/Basanez combined.
..That sums it up.

4. Marc Bulger isn't that good.
I realize the Rams offensive line and wide receiver units have gone down hill. I realize Marc Bulger has been injured. I just don't buy that he could return to form, or that part of that wasn't his fault. In his last three seasons Bulger has a stat line of :

36 Games Started, 612 comp./1065 att. (57.5%)/6581 yds/27 tds/34 ints/6.2 ypa/182.8 ypg/70.9 rating.

None of those numbers are spectacular. All are well below a league average effort. Like I said, I'm quite confident that Caleb Hanie could come in and put up a 70.9 quarterback rating, and at least have more mobility and durability than the statuesque Bulger, all at a lower cost.

So really, Florio, tell me again what the Most logical explanation is for not signing Marc Bulger?

Fun with Math!

JaMarcus Russell was released today. As this article notes, the Raiders will have paid him a grand total of 39.4 million dollars. That means the Raiders paid JaMarcus:

$1,576,000 per start (25).
$5,628,571.43 per win (7).
$2,188,888.89 per touchdown pass (18).
$111,299.44 per completion (354).
$604,294.48 per quarterback rating point (65.2).

When they institute a rookie salary cap in the next bargaining agreement they should name it the JaMarcus Rule.

How to Succeed in Football Without Really Trying.

Because I'm an Asshole, That's Why.

"Tebow ranks among the greatest college players ever. A dual run-pass threat, Tebow won a Heisman Trophy and was part of two national champion teams.

Even so, there are legitimate concerns such success won't translate to the NFL. Pittsburgh Steelers personnel director Kevin Colbert said Tebow would need one to three years adjusting to a pro-style offense after playing in a spread system at Florida. Sirius NFL Radio analyst and ex-NFL quarterback Jim Miller is concerned that Tebow will revert to old habits - like holding the football too low on his wind-up - when under pressure in games. Miller played for Chicago in the late 1990s when the Bears unsuccessfully attempted to change Cade McNown's sidearm throwing motion.

"They tried to get him to become more accurate by throwing over the top and he just couldn't do it," Miller said. "He spent the whole offseason working on it, then lo and behold, everything went to crap on the first day of practice. He threw the way he always threw.

"For Tim, it's not just the motion or footwork involved. It's everything."

Article discussing, once more, the similarities between Tebow and McNown.

Trying to be Positive

....which, as you may have realized, isn't my strong suit. I've obviously been opposed to the hiring of Mike Martz as Bears offensive coordinator since the beginning of the offseason. However, now that it's happened, I have to go ahead and figure out some way to find the positive in this situation, because if I can't muster up some false enthusiasm for football season it's going to be one long, long, looong fucking summer. So here's what I've got:

1. Mike Martz improves quarterbacks.

No, seriously. I mean this. Take a look at some of the QBs Martz has had as either an offensive coordinator/head coach:

Trent Green before Martz: 54.5 completion %, 81.8 rating, 6.8 ypa, 215.1 ypg.
Trent Green under Martz: 60.4 completion %, 101.8 rating, 8.6 ypa, 257.9 ypg.

Jon Kitna before Martz: 58.8 completion %, 75.3 rating, 6.4 ypa, 198.5 ypg
Jon Kitna under Martz: 62.8 completion %, 80.4 rating, 7.1 ypa, 258.6 ypg

Marc Bulger under Martz:64.6 completion %, 89.7 rating, 7.8 ypa, 275.2 ypg
Marc Bulger after Martz: 60.0 completion %, 79.9 rating, 6.7 ypa, 209.7 ypg

These are the most noticeable examples of improvement under Martz's system.The other quarterbacks that Martz has developed in his career (Warner, O'Sullivan, Shaun Hill) were all undrafted or unheralded players that Martz made into serviceable-to-outstanding quarterbacks. I guess. Either way, I think we can agree that Jay Cutler is clearly a better quarterback than Jon Kitna, Marc Bulger, J.T. O'Sullivan, or Shaun Hill, and is at least more talented than Trent Green. The quarterback that he compares most favorably to is Kurt Warner, which possibly bodes well.

2. Martz's offense is not inherently opposed to tight ends.

One of the biggest complaints that I and many other Martz detractors have is that his offense doesn't feature the tight end, which takes away Greg Olsen as one of Jay Cutler's biggest weapons. This isn't necessarily so. Martz himself said:

"If there's a player that can't fit a system, then something is wrong -- if he's a good player -- with the system. Don't you think?," Martz said Tuesday at Halas Hall. "Our deal is, we will give everybody an opportunity to find who they are and how they will contribute. Everybody will get that opportunity, and Greg will, too. He's learned things very quickly, very pleased with just the few things we've done on the field. Not disappointed in any respect."

This is a nice start. Another thing to look at is that Martz's offense is (schematically speaking) nearly identical to the offense his former head coach Dick Vermeil took with him to Kansas City. Vermeil inherited Tony Gonzalez and knew the best option was to make the system work with him, and the rest is history as far as that goes. Greg Olsen is no Tony Gonzalez, but the idea that the Martz offensive scheme is inherently opposed to utilizing the tight end as a pass-catcher is wrong.

3. Simply put, he gets results with talented players.

When Kurt Warner, Trent Green, or Marc Bulger were healthy and surrounded by the talented receiver corps and runningbacks of the Rams, Martz's offenses rolled up points by the bunches. His struggles toward the end of his St. Louis career coincided with key injuries to Warner and Bulger, as well as the decline of Isaac Bruce and the defense. He did well with the limited talent in Detroit, with Jon Kitna racking up back to back 4,000+ yd passing seasons, and the 20.4 ppg the Lions offense averaged under Martz was it's highest total since Barry Sanders retired. Likewise, the 21.2 ppg the 2008 49ers averaged was a higher total than they've managed in any season since Jeff Garcia and Terrell Owens left after 2003. Since he's left St. Louis, they've averaged just 16.9 PPG vs. 27.5 PPG under Martz. Granted, the talent level has diminished greatly, but many of the key players during that time period (Bulger, Holt, Jackson) were the same as they were in the last years of the Martz era.

So there you have it. Disastrous hyperbole aside, there's real reason to be hopeful that Mike Martz can get results with Jay Cutler and the Bears offense. The key skill position players (Jay Cutler, Matt Forte, Chester Taylor, Greg Olsen, Desmond Clark, Brandon Manumaleuna, Devin Hester, Devin Aromashodu, Earl Bennett, and Johnny Knox) are all much, much better than anything he's had to work with since the glory days of his run with the Rams. The biggest problem, however, is the offensive line. If the line struggles to block and Cutler starts taking the style of beating that Kitna did (114 sacks in two years) in Detroit, Martz has to be willing to mix things up (focus on the run, abandon the seven step drop, move the pocket, etc.) in order to keep Cutler alive and upright. Martz also has to make good on his promise to use Greg Olsen.

Well, that's what I've got. If you don't like it come back after Martz has Cutler throw 60 passes and gets him sacked 6 times in week one and I start frothing at the mouth. Go Bears.

In Which I Start a Trend

Comment from Peter King, about Josh McDaniel's proclaimed reasons for drafting Tim Tebow:

"Josh McDaniels told me early this morning that the Tim Tebow pick came down to Tebow meeting every one of the parameters he sets out for a quarterback: competitiveness, work ethic, leadership, traits of a winner, intelligence, toughness, productivity. I see all that, but we all know the adjustment in mechanics and style of play are going to be huge factors in whether Tebow succeeds in the NFL."

Scouting Report on Tim Tebow:

"While critics will talk about Tebow's quirky mechanics and throwing motion, his character profile is in line with McDaniels' desire to create a strong locker room rooted in team-first principles...

Tebow is arguably one of the best college quarterbacks of all time. He has won a lot of games over the years ....

....but his accuracy has been inconsistent over the years as he often ends up throwing the ball when on the move"

Another Scouting Report:

"...does not have a great "gun", but all he does is win games and make plays. He is a real student of the game and prides himself on his ability to read defenses and make smart decisions. This lefty is a great ball handler and moves around well in the pocket and handles the pressure of the pass rush. He is not a real pretty QB, in terms of mechanics and as good as his stats are, he tends to throw some ill-advised balls and look a little streaky, but this guy is a winner. Ironically, as we go through the draft process and NFL coaches become more involved, his stock will rise. This is a guy on draft day that several teams will throw out the measurables and concentrate on the player. In this case, that makes a lot of sense.."

Oh, wait. That second scouting report is on Cade McNown. My bad.

Not sayin'. Just sayin'.

Just Something to Consider

The stats for two NFL quarterbacks after their first 53 starts-

1127 comp./1849 attempts(61.0%), 13711 yds, 95 TD, 67 INTS, 258.7 ypg, 7.4 ypa, 5.1 TD %, 3.6 INT %, 85.8 rating, 62 Sacks, 32 wins, 32 losses.

1098 comp./1775 attempts(61.9%), 12690 yds, 81 TD, 63 INTS, 239.4 ypg, 7.1 ypa, 4.6 TD %, 3.5 INT %, 83.8 rating, 86 Sacks, 24 wins, 29 losses.

That first line is Peyton Manning. The second, remarkably similar line, is Jay Cutler. Not sayin'. Just sayin'.

Wrongs Righted- Bears Acquire Chris Harris for Jamar Williams

Since the start of the Lovie Smith administration, the Bears have made a habit of acquiring a plethora of safeties who aren't worth a damn. The only one that did pan out was Chris Harris, whom they foolishly traded to the Carolina Panthers in order to clear the way for Adam Archuleta and Danieal Manning. That worked out fabulously, if I remember. The Bears, having big questions at both safety positions, decided to fix their mistake and shipped Jamar Williams, who played a passable linebacker after injuries to Urlacher, Tinoisamoa, and Briggs, to the Panthers in order to reacquire the prodigal safety.

This is probably the best possible move the Bears could have made at safety this offseason. They certainly couldn't afford the salary demands of someone like Antrelle Rolle, but they also didn't want to gamble that an aging veteran like Darren Sharper could repeat his miraculous 2009 season. Harris gives them a starter at strong safety who is a great run stopper and respectable against the pass at a low cost and for several more years. This also allows Danieal Manning, Major Wright, Al Afalava, and Kevin Payne (although it appears Kevin Payne may already be the odd man out) to compete in order to put the best possible starter at free safety (I guess Craig Steltz and Josh Bullocks could also compete for those spots, but, come on. You're smarter than that).

The acquisition of Julius Peppers should improve the pass rush, while the return of a (hopefully) healthy Brian Urlacher and Pisa Tinoisamoa should upgrade the linebacking corps. With Harris holding down strong safety, and Charles Tillman and Zack Bowman (who led the team in interceptions and improved big time as the season went on) manning the corners, this leaves the free safety and nickel positions as the only big question marks on what should be a much improved defense.

2010 Bears Draft- Somethin Outta Nothin

I hate doing the stereotypical post-draft "grading" system. Everyone uses the same formula:

1. What are the teams needs?

2. Did they draft players at those positions?

3. Did they trade up, even for a totally asinine pick? Trade ups=Good.

Basically then every team that filled all of their holes will get an A or B, and then when those players all suck no one will look back and say "wow, I guess they didn't deserve that A after all." People have long since forgotten it now, but I remember when the analysts said the Detroit Lions "won" the 2004 draft by picking up Kevin Jones and Roy Williams.

The Bears had very little to work with in the 2010 draft, and Angelo was determined not to give away any more future picks (Why not? If the team sucks this year you're probably gone anyway. Why not screw over your successor?), so the odds of trading up were very slim. This was mildly frustrating as there were some great players available in the second round that probably wouldn't have cost much to move up and grab (Taylor Mays, Jon Asamoah) that I was hoping for. Either way, the Bears did OK by staying put. Major Wright is a second round talent at safety that fell to them in the middle of the third. With any luck he can step up and play this year. Some free safety combination out of Manning, Wright, and Payne has to work well enough to not be a gaping hole in the secondary. With another year of experience for Afalava at strong safety I'm optimistic that they'll get competent play from that part of the secondary this year.

Wooten, the defensive end from Northwestern that they grabbed in the 4th round, was an odd pick. I think he's got potential first round talent, but I'm not sure defensive end was the biggest need in that round, although the talent at guard had dropped off precipitously by that point. Hopefully he pans out, but this was the only pick I had any major issues with.

Moore, the cornerback from Kansas State, is a guy I know very little about, but the team always needs help at that position, and the analysts seemed to like the pick (which means nothing).

The Dan LeFevour pick was a fine choice, and the reactions to it are hilarious. The comments on the PFT article are a goldmine, given that PFT is the most wretched hive of scum and villainy among all football blogs (also, Florio hates Cutler, which is why he posted an article about a SIXTH ROUND quarterback at all in order to stir up the Cutler hate). Some of the best:

"I think they realize Cutler=Mistake!"
"Cutler is fuming now! Cutler will be traded during next years draft"
"Cutler is not any good. A really strong arm doesn't equate to good NFL QB.Also, by all indications, in addition to being a pussy, he also seems to be quite a douchebag."

Guh. Personally I like the pick. Brett Basanez still sucks, so the team needs a third stringer. They can pay him a lot less than they'd pay Basanez or another veteran and he's got enough raw talent that he could develop into a mid-level starter someday (maybe even above-average if you factor in his mobility).

As for the 7th round, they drafted tackle J'Marcus Webb, a guy with NFL size who started his college career at Texas but left for "personal reasons," which I'm thinking may be a euphemism for "too dumb for an FBS school." He's a project. Hopefully he'll play well enough to stick with the team after training camp.

All in all the Bears drafted for good value with the picks they had. Hopefully they can take a look at a guy like Alan Faneca and see if he might be the stopgap at guard they need. That could make this a pretty good offfseason.

Tim Tebow over Our Hero? Mais Non!

When the Broncos ditched Chris Simms after the season and decided to trade for Brady Quinn, was I concerned? No, of course not. If you think Brady F*&king Quinn is a threat to Kyle Orton, you need to go dip your gonads in something caustic. Brady Quinn, as I've mentioned before, has only one thing in his favor, and that's that he looks like a quarterback. A prototypical one, anyway. That wears eye-liner. But that's not the point. His arm strength is, at best, on par with Kyle's, he's far less accurate (52.1% completion rate to Kyle's 57.8%), and Kyle has the advantage of a year's experience in McDaniels' overrated spread offense. Kyle was thus safe from harm. OR SO I THOUGHT.

Last night the Broncos dropped a bombshell on the draft by trading down from #11 (the pick they got from the Bears) to #13, then to #24, then traded up to #22 where they took WR Demaryius Thomas, then traded back into the first round to get to #25, where they could select Tim Tebow. That flurry of draft trades built upon last year's pattern, giving the impression that Josh McDaniels has decided that people will praise him as a genius for making a lot of moves that ultimately don't make any sense. For the meatheads that are still upset about the king's ransom in draft picks that the Bears gave up for Jay Cutler, the Broncos have now turned those picks into Robert Ayers (a total no show for the Broncos last year) and Tim Tebow. So they've been kind enough to use those picks as poorly as Jerry Angelo would have. Thanks guys.

The Tebow pick is obviously the most shocking and the most newsworthy pick of this year's first round. I'm going to be honest. I like Tim Tebow more than most of the professionals do. Hell, I had a pretty powerful mancrush going for him before he won the Heisman. He's a legitimate project and one that may pay off very well 2-3 years down the road. At the 25th overall pick, though, with the Broncos having much bigger needs and a more NFL (and night club) ready quarterback in Jimmy Clausen available, they seriously overreached to try and-blah blah blah.

Fuck Tim Tebow. Oh I don't hate him for his overexposure. I don't hate him for his religious views. I don't even hate him for his sloppy footwork, his terrible mechanics, or his inability to go through progressions and read a defense. Whether he likes it or not, he's just stepped into the lair of the dragon. No hot shot young Florida quarterback tries to take Kyle Orton's job. Perhaps you remember when the Bears signed Chris Leak? And perhaps you wonder why you haven't heard from him since? Exactly.

McDaniels has dug himself a huge hole with his fanbase and probably his ownership by shipping out the core of the young, talented offense he inherited. The Broncos need to win soon to justify the faith shown in him. The core of the team, ironically enough, is now the defense, with players like Brian Dawkins and Champ Bailey who are old. Instead of making another impact pick on their offensive line, one that could help them win now (like the Thomas pick, which was a good move), they draft the biggest project in the NFL draft. Even if Tebow does pan out, it won't be for several years, at which point the core of their defense will need to be rebuilt.

Plus, McDaniels whole argument in replacing Cutler with Orton was that talent was less important than the system. If that's so, why waste a first round pick on a quarterback that, as Steve Young says, "may someday be almost as good as the guy you just traded away." To put it in Johnny Cochrane's words: That doesn't make sense.

But enough about Josh McDaniels drafting skills. The point of the matter is that Kyle Orton is and always will be a better quarterback option than Tim Tebow. Since I'm always right, you know this is fact. However, McDaniels took Tebow with the first round pick and will, sooner rather than later, seek to justify his asinine decision, most likely resulting in Kyle's departure from the Broncos before the 2011 season. This, of course, means war against the very principle on which Start Kyle Orton was founded, that being that Kyle Orton should start. From this moment on we will seek to denigrate and destroy Tim Tebow at every single opportunity. Sorry Tim. Actually, I'm not sorry. Fuck you. You're just a thicker Alex Smith.

2010 QB Crapshoot

Typically around draft time Iggins! or I like to write some stuff about the players we'd like the Bears to draft. Last year that got thrown out of whack by the HOLY FUCK THE BEARS JUST GOT JAY CUTLER fever and the lack of a first round pick. This year they still lack a first round pick, as well as the second round pick that they lost in the tragic Gaines Adams trade. This really puts a damper on any speculating that can be done, because in one of the most unsual and talent-loaded drafts in recent memory the notion of trying to project all the way into the third round is even more insane than usual. The good news is that the two areas where the team is most in need (safety, offensive line) are unusually deep in this draft. The possibility of the Bears getting 1st or 2nd round talent to fall to their spot is better than it would be in most years. Other than that, there's not much to say. It'll all be a moot point when Jerry drafts yet another injury prone defensive tackle from a southern school and he doesn't make it past mini-camps.

Since there's not much predicting to do for the Bears, I'm going to discuss my favorite part of any draft : quarterback forecasting. If you haven't noticed yet, there's a slight bias on this site in favor of quarterbacks. It's the most important position on the field and the one I pay the most attention to ('cuz the camera is on the guy like every play. lol. srsly). Every year I like to predict which quarterbacks I think will be successful and which will be a bust, a brief rundown of the last decade's drafts shows mixed results:

2009-Matt Stafford (1), Mark Sanchez (5), Josh Freeman (17)- I liked Stafford better than Sanchez because I felt Sanchez's intangibles were overrated and that Stafford's arm strength and accuracy were much better. The results statistically were more or less a wash, with both throwing 20 interceptions, completing only 53% of their passes, and having QB ratings in the low 60s. Sanchez, however, proved that his great defense and outstanding running game can win a lot of games when he doesn't throw 5 picks. So...I'm going to call that a draw for now. I also liked Josh Freeman, although I felt (and still feel) he has more work to do than the other two in order to be a successful pro.

2008- Matt Ryan (3), Joe Flacco (18)- I like Joe Flacco more than Matt Ryan, but I thought both would be successful. Flacco had the better year this year, but Ryan had the better rookie campaign. I'll call it a draw, but both are fine quarterbacks.

2007: JaMarcus Russell (1), Brady Quinn (22)- I wasn't alone in saying both sucked. Russell was nothing more than a fat, big armed moron (I believe my illustrious co-writer once called him a "mush-mouthed idiot" during a frothy rant against the SEC) with little to no accuracy who played at a football powerhouse. Quinn just sucked and played in a loaded system at ND and got too much credit for simply looking like a quarterback. Russell's been the bigger failure so far, but damn, they both suck.

2006: Vince Young (3), Matt Leinart (10), Jay Cutler (11)- This caused a great deal of contention between Iggins! and I. I hate Vince Young. I loathe him with every fiber of my being. I have no idea why this is. I hate his throwing motion, I think his arm is nowhere near as strong as they say, I think he's inaccurate, and I think he's stupid. Oh. That's probably why I hate him. Iggins! absolutely loves the guy. Always has, probably always will. I said Matt Leinart would be better. So far it's difficult to say, although Young has the edge due to his half-decent rebound last year and his logic-defying winning record at quarterback. I'm convinced now Leinart sucks, but with both heading into the season as starting quarterbacks (unless Leinart fucks up and loses his job to Brian St. Pierre or some other no-name), this will be the year they both flop epically. Oh, and I thought Cutler had the best arm of the three and that he'd be successful, while Iggins! called him "the next Kyle Boller," a quote he denies to this day.

2005: Alex Smith (1), Aaron Rodgers (24), Jason Campbell (25)- Guh. I liked Campbell the best of any of the three, but thought that Smith would be successful if given a chance to learn the pro-style offense. I absolutely hated Aaron Rodgers' mechanics (which he overhauled while on the bench in Green Bay) and thought he would fail miserably. Not my finest hour.

2004: Eli Manning (1), Philip Rivers (4), Ben Roethlisberger (11), JP Losman (22)- I thought Eli Manning sucked, and I still do, even if his numbers have improved greatly the last two years. He just looks like a jackass and I know he pisses you off as much as he does me. I thought Rivers was the best QB in the draft, and I think the numbers (other than rings) back me up. I liked Losman more than Roethlisberger, so I'll call that one a failure, although JP's ahead 2-0 in the category of not being accused of sexual assault. Oh, and JP won the first ever UFL championship game, so there's that.

2003: Carson Palmer (1), Byron Leftwich (7), Kyle Boller (19), Rex Grossman (22)- Shit. I thought Carson Palmer would be the greatest quarterback of all time, but the injuries have derailed that. I liked Grossman more than Leftwich or Boller, but the only one I said would be a bust was Boller. Fail all around.

2002: David Carr (1), Joey Harrington (3), Patrick Ramsey (32)- Dear god, what an awful year to look for a quarterback. I liked Harrington more than the other two (he got a ring as the 3rd string QB for the Saints!), and I thought Ramsey was better than Carr. I thought all three would be successful, so....yeah. I even said Ramsey "was a perfect fit for Spurrier's offense." Good god.

2001: Michael Vick (1), Drew Brees (32)- Okay, technically Brees doesn't qualify if I'm only doing first round picks, but both Iggins! and I had a mancrush for Brees during his college days at Purdue. It's not often that you get the two of us to agree on loving a player who isn't on either of our respective college teams, but how the hell could you Not love Breesus, even then? We were both certain he was going to be the best quarterback in this draft and that his tears could cure cancer. Looks like we were right on both counts. Oh, and I hated Michael Vick. He couldn't pass then, and he still can't.

With all of my previous successes and failures tallied, let's take a look at some of this year's top QB prospects and what I think of them:

1. Sam Bradford, Oklahoma: If the Rams were smart, they'd draft Suh and pick up one of the QB's that falls into the 2nd round. They aren't, so they'll probably take Bradford. I think he's an Okay prospect. His arm strength and accuracy are pro-worthy, and he's probably the best prospect in this draft. Before the shoulder injuries I'd have definitely said he was the best. I'm not sure he'll survive long enough to merit the 1st overall pick. Tough break, kid. Next time take the money and run. I'm also not convinced he can handle presure and make quick reads outside of the spread offense (but he's not the only QB in this draft with that problem).

2. Tony Pike, Cincinnati: Ranking him #2 may be a reach, but he's tough and has overcome multiple injuries (although none as scary or as career-threatening as Bradford's shoulder), he's accurate, and his arm strength is better than advertised. I think he'll be a steal for someone in the 2nd or later.

3. Jimmy Clausen, Notre Dame: Guh. He's getting a lot of credit for being "the most NFL ready" quarterback in the draft, and his arm strength and accuracy is certainly respectable. I hate to overrate the team chemistry factor, because it's bullshit and I'd look like a hypocrite after my scathing defense of Jay Cutler, but god damn I hate this guy. He just looks like a shithead. Clausen's success (like most) will depend entirely on who picks him. If he goes somewhere with an adequate line and a strong-willed head coach he'll be fine. If he doesn't? I'm not sure he'll be an epic, Leaf-style bust, but I can see him putting up Grossmanish numbers as a half-developed "gunslinger."

4. Colt McCoy, Texas: He's not good. At all. A 70% completion rate is impressive no matter how dinky the passes were, but other than he's got nothing going for him. He's been injured, he has no arm strength, he's short, and he reminds me of Tim Couch. The only morons predicting anything other than journeyman/Jeff Garcia-ish (and that's being kind) success for this guy are the idiots that use phrases like "proven winner."

5. John Skelton, Fordham: Usually I'm the guy that touts the small school kid with the good measureables (like Flacco) over the kids from the big schools that are clearly just system QBs, but for some reason I'm not sold on Skelton. His size (6'5", 243) and arm strength are undeniable, but he just doesn't strike me as someone who can transition to the pro game quickly. Maybe a few years from now.

6. Tim Tebow, Florida: If he goes to the Colts or Patriots and sits for at least two years before playing, he'll be good. If he doesn't he'll flop. It's that simple. His arm strength is good but his mechanics, even in they're current revised state, aren't that good. He can't make complicated reads and he has no idea how to go through his progression. On top of that, he's lefthanded and you can count the number of good left-handed quarterbacks on one hand (Steve Young, Mark Brunell, Boomer Esiason, Ken Stabler, Jim Zorn). It takes many more hands to count the bad ones (Bobby Douglass, Will Furrer, Cade McNown, Todd Marinovich, Michael Vick, Matt Leinart, Chris Simms, Dave Ragone, Jared Lorenzen...). I think Hell may freeze over and Peter King may be right about Jacksonville taking Tebow. In which case he's fucked.

7. Dan Lefevour, Central Michigan: Before the season ended I thought he was going to be a steal, but his pro day and his work at the senior bowl were lackluster. It's not unthinkable he could end up a late round steal, but I'm losing faith.

8. Jarrett Brown, West Virginia: He's a better passer than Pat White? He's an intriguing project, at least.

9. Jevan Snead, Ole Miss: I can't for the life of me figure out why he didn't stay for his senior year in order to improve his draft stock. The guy has a million dollar arm but his accuracy and decision-making regressed to pure horseshit this season. I had him first on my board before this last season and now I wouldn't even go near him. It's conceivable he could be coached into some better decision-making, or that he could even have some degree of success due to arm strength and dumb luck a la Derek Anderson in 2007, but it's more likely that he's just going to suck like Anderson in every other year of his career.

10. Juice Williams, Illinois: Why not? You've stopped reading this, anyway.

SKO Random 3rd Baseman of the Day: Ron Cey

Name: Ronald Charles "The Penguin" Cey
Height: 5'10''/ Weight: 185 lb
Bats: Right/ Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 1983-1986

Ron Cey is undoubtedly one of the best 3rd basemen the Cubs had during the long gap between Ron Santo and Aramis Ramirez, but unfortunately his age and his precipitously declining fielding skills kept him from being the long-term solution the team desperately needed.

Cey broke into the majors with the Dodgers in 1971, but didn't earn the full-time starting job at third base until 1973. During his time with the Dodgers, he was part of a core group of Dodger infielders which included 1B Steve Garvey, 2B Davey Lopes, and SS Bill Russell. The Dodgers featured this same infield group for an impressive 8 seasons, during which LA won four pennants and the 1981 World Series title, until Lopes left in 1982 and Cey and Garvey followed the next year. Cey was traded to the Cubs on January 13th, 1983.

While the 1983 season was a disappointing one for the 71-91 Cubs and is more memorable for manager Lee Elia's famous rant than anything else, Cey posted solid offensive numbers at age 35. In his finest offensive year in a Cub uniform, Cey hit .275 with a .346 OBP, a .460 slugging %, and an .805 OPS to go along with 24 homers and 90 RBI.

While Cey saw a slight dip in his numbers during the 1984 season, the Cubs saw a complete turnaround of their fortunes. The team roared to 96 wins and the team's first postseason berth since 1945. Cey was still a major contributor the teams success, with a solid .240/25/97/.324/.442/.766 line. Although things ended on a sour note, with the team losing the NLCS to the Padres, things seemed to be looking up for the Cubs.

Unfortunately, the 1985 season didn't go as planned, as injuries erased an early season division lead and the team faltered to a 77-84 finish. Cey saw his numbers dip for a third straight year, as he dropped to a .232/22/63/.316/.408/.724 line. His defense also continued to decline. A career .961% fielder at the hot corner, Cey's fielding averages were mediocre during his time in Chicago (.955, .967, .943, .952), and his range factor/9 innings had dropped from his career mark of 2.90 (near the league average of 2.89) to an extremely limited 2.42 by his last year with the Cubs. He also had 21 throwing errors in '85, his highest total since 1974. One reporter joked in 1984 that a piece of plywood would provide better defense.

An injury in 1986 limited him to 97 games, his lowest total (in a non-strike season) since before his rookie year (he'd played just 13 games in 71-72, making 74 his rookie year). While he posted a solid .273/13/36/.384/.508/.891 line in those 97 games, his fielding continued to decline and he was nearing 40 years in age. The Cubs decided to trade him to Oakland after the season in order to move Keith Moreland to third and make room for new outfielder Andre Dawson. Cey played just 45 games with the A's in 1987, hitting .221 before retiring. The 62 year old Cey now works in a consultant role with the franchise that made him famous, the Dodgers.

Ron Cey: Pretty damn good.

SKO Random 3rd Baseman of the Day: Vance Law

I haven't posted on here in over a month and I'm bored, so I'm going to resurrect an old, old feature. I stated earlier that I would leave baseball coverage to those that are a lot better at it than I am, and that I'm going to do, but I'm at least going to finish this damn list, resuming with:


Name: Vance Aaron Law
Height: 6'2'' Weight: 185 lb
Bats: R Throws: R
Years as a Cub: 1988-1989


Keith Moreland had been a fan favorite and posted good offensive numbers at 3rd base for the team in 1987. Unfortunately, he played 3rd base about as well as Joe Bonham and made 28 errors. The Cubs, therefore, traded Keith Moreland to the Padres before the 1988 season in order to pick up closer Goose Gossage and replaced Moreland with Vance Law, a free agent who had spent the previous three seasons with Les Expos after stops with the Pirates and White Sox.

The 1988 season didn't work out particularly well for the 77-85 Cubs, but it ended up as a career year for Law. A career .256/.326/.376/.703 hitter, Law posted careers highs in batting average, RBIs, and total bases, and neared his career highs in OBP and OPS. Overall he hit .293 with 11 HRs, 78 RBIs, a .358 OBP, a .412 slugging %, and a .770 OPS in 151 games, resulting in his first and only trip to the All Star Game (along with fellow Cubs Greg Maddux, Andre Dawson, Ryne Sandberg, Rafael Palmeiro, and Shawon Dunston. Only the Cubs could post a losing record with 6 All Stars). While those seem fairly pedestrian by today's standards they were outstanding for a Cub third baseman of the late 1980s or early 1990s, and the Cubs showed their appreciation for Vance's efforts by naming a hot dog after him. I'm serious.

In the field in 1988, Law was a slight improvement over Moreland, with 19 errors and a .953 fielding % (besting Law's 28 and .934), although his range was slightly below both his career average and the league average, as he posted a 2.57 range factor/9 innings, below the league rate of 2.77 and his 2.65 career mark.

The 1989 season worked out much better for the Cubs, who ran up 93 wins while racing to the NL East title, but Law's poor play that year would essentially end his career and cost him his job in favor of late-season acquistion Luis Salazar. In 130 games in 1989, Law hit just .235, with only 7 HRs, 42 RBIs, and a .296/.355/.651 OBP/Slug/OPS. His defense also went into the tank as his fielding % slipped to .943 and his range factor/9 innings dropped to 2.31.

With Salazar in the fold and the 32 year old Law looking washed up, the Cubs handed Vance his walking papers in January of 1990 (I'm not sure what happened to the unused Vance Law hot dogs. Maybe they renamed them Luis Salazar Dogs? Or Steve Buechele Dogs? If you bought them in Mesa it was probably a Gary Scott Dog). He spent the 1990 season in Japan before making a short-lived, 74 game comeback with the A's in 1991. He now coaches the BYU baseball team.

Vance Law: Good enough for a hot dog sponsor, I guess.

Does it Make a Difference?

As you all know by now, Julius Peppers is a Bear, along with Chester Taylor and Brandon Manumaleuna. The reactions to these events should range from the Redskin-fan like euphoria, where every fan feels like their team just won the offseason superbowl, to the bitter, jaded response that those moves didn't really address the biggest deficiencies on the team and that they're doomed anyways. Or, if you're completely retarded, you can argue that this team will never win anything because Jay Cutler blahblahblah.

The fact is, these were good moves. Do they smack of desperation? Of course they do. They should. The fact that Lovie and Jerry feel the heat is a good sign. It shakes up the view of complacency that so many of us were afraid of. In an uncapped year there's absolutely no reason for them Not to break the bank on the free agent market, and Peppers was unquestionably the best free agent out there. Peppers also, far more than Rod Marinelli's sage wisdom, has the chance of improving Tommie Harris, and, by extension, the entire Bears defense. They don't need to revert to 2006 form to be competitive, they simply need to be a top 16ish defense, keep the offense in the game, and avoid debacles like the games against the Bengals, Cardinals, or the game in Minnesota.

Taylor was a good move as well, assuming the team uses him in tandem with Forte and doesn't just give up on Matt. The offensive line was the problem with the run game this year, and it would be foolish to judge Forte based on his performance behind that line. It was thinking like that led to the team drafting Cedric Benson when Thomas Jones was already on the roster. The two quality backs are a must, however, as was obvious this season when Kevin Jones went down and Garrett Wolfe only managed to solidify his status as a wasted draft pick.

Manumeleuna was a good move as well, in the sense that he's a good blocker and he fits Martz' system. The rumors are that Greg Olsen wants out and the Patriots are offering a 2nd round pick for him. I don't like that Olsen has to leave just because he doesn't fit a system I don't like in the first place, but if they trade him for a second round pick that can be used on on a quality guard or tackle that can make an impact this year, well, that wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen.

These were good moves. If Jerry can turn Olsen into a 2nd round pick and have a quality draft, and they maybe find a serviceable veteran lineman or safety after cuts in the spring and summer, they might be able to patch together an offensive line or secondary that can get them through the year and get this team back into the playoffs.

Orlando Pace Released

Worthless Old Fatass.

Orlando Pace got cut the other day. I'm sure everyone's as relieved as I am about that. Chris Williams is more than capable of being a mediocre left tackle, so Pace is superfluous. No idea as to who they think they can get to start at right tackle, unless they're actually crazy enough to keep playing Omiyale or Shaffer regularly. That would be, as some might say, a really, really, poor decision.

This offseason is exceedingly frustrating. Every year for the last few years I've always felt like, with a competent front office, the Bears' problems were easily fixable in a few moves. After the 2004 season, I was confident the team could contend with a healthy Grossman and a quality tackle to pair with John Tait. It turned out they didn't even really need Rex in 2005, but Fred Miller was a big contributor in 2005 and 2006. After 2005, I was sure they were going to kick ass in 2006 no matter what, and that's what happened. After 2006, I thought the team would be fine if everyone stayed healthy and they picked up another starting safety. Everyone got hurt and they wound up with Archuleta, so the team sucked. After 2007, I thought some upgrades on the offensive line and a healthy defense would make the team a contender. The line was slightly better in 2008, but the defense still wasn't great and the team barely improved. Going into 2009, it was obvious that, with Cutler on the team, the defensive line and offensive line were the biggest areas of concern. Jerry Angelo agreed, he just felt the answer was to sign Pace and Omiyale and hire Rod Marinelli. That ended horribly and Marinelli got a promotion.

This offseason, however, it's hard to get excited over any single move. Cutting Pace isn't much of an addition by subtraction, as every spot on the line would benefit from an upgrade (although I'm willing to give Williams another year before I start hating him). The defensive line sucks on ice, and I'm not sure how much the rumored move to pick up Julius Peppers would help without a defensive tackle to keep him from getting double teamed on every single snap. The linebacking corps consists of Awesome, Old and Injured, and the Three-Headed Shitfest of Hillenmeyer, Williams, or Roach. Charles Tillman's a slightly above average corner, which is far more than can be said about any of his comrades, and the safety position is a pathetic mess (and of course they traded away their second round pick in a year where good safeties will actually be available in the 2nd round).

My point is, of course, is that you shouldn't take joy anything, because you're Bears fans.

Back to Cold, Ugly, Brutal Reality.

I wish I could hate you to death

That was fun, wasn't it? For a few months we were winners. The world was our oyster and we went along with Breesus and the Saints for a magical ride that gave me a chance to slip away from the depressing nature of my existence and be a champion. But that's over now. It's back to being Bears fans, and that of course means back to being Pissed Off Bears Fans. So to get this place back on track (I'm not actually going to post all of that much until the draft gets nearer. February and March are bad months to run a football blog, and I'm not going to bother with Cubs coverage this year, I'm not good at it and there are much better places where you can get much better coverage), here are some thoughts on Bears-centric news from recent weeks-

1. Mike Martz is the offensive coordinator- Obviously I'm opposed to this move. Like, really, really opposed to this move. But I was far too optimistic in thinking that the Bears had a shot at any legitimately promising offensive coordinator prospects this offseason. No one wants to take these jobs, because any betting man knows Lovie, and probably his whole staff, is gone after the season. It's not, however much that hack Mike Florio wants you to believe it is, about people not wanting to coach Jay Cutler.

That doesn't make this a good move, though. Martz will do some terribly stupid shit. I'm also sure that in order to get hired he had to promise Lovie he'd still get off the bus running and would try to remember that tight ends are eligible pass catchers and not just fat Hawaiians you draft for your own amusement (see Manumaleuna, Brandon), meaning we'll get some half-assed version of the Martz offensive that ditches all of the effectiveness while retaining the sacks and turnovers. Oh, joy. Seriously, if you aren't some delusional homer you should probably just start (if you haven't already) gearing yourselves up for a horrible fucking season and make it your number one priority to pray to Jesus, Allah, Buddha, L. Ron Hubbard, Cthulu, Gozer, Krishna, Atheismo, or Vin Diesel so they'll spare Cutler's life.

2. Rod Marinelli is promoted to defensive coordinator- If you're a moron like Mike Florio and you think Cutler was the reason no one would take the offensive coordinator job, how do you explain the total FAIL at hiring a defensive coordinator? Perry Fewell, whom Lovie thought for sure would take the job, decided to go to a team with actual defensive talent and left the Bears scrambling for options, and the one they took was naturally the cheapest and most retarded one out there.

If there's one thing this team needed it was someone who could change the defensive scheme and mentality. I'm not someone to generally overrate a coordinator's impact on a unit's effectiveness, but defensive coordinators can sometime's make sweeping defensive improvements with only modest personnel changes (see Williams, Gregg or Capers, Dom). Instead we get the only person somehow More likely to do exactly what Lovie wants on defense than Lovie himself. This is going to suck. All offseason we heard (and I swallowed that bullshit the same as you did), that Marinelli just hadn't been prepared to go from a defensive line coach to a head coach, and that putting him back into the very-specific job that he'd been so effective in would work wonders for him and the team. The defensive line was still absolute shit, so Marinelli got a promotion. Fuck my life.

3. Gaines Adams is dead- I don't wish to make light of this story by making it about football, and that's probably why I didn't post much when it happened. A 26 year old kid is dead and it doesn't get much sadder than that. Obviously we barely knew him, and who knows what might have happened in the future had he been able to start for the team next year like they intended. There's no denying, however, that his death puts the team in even more of a bind regarding their plans for free agency and what few draft picks they have left. Ogunleye is a potential free agent, and he's going to want a raise, even though he doesn't deserve it, in order to re-sign with the team. They can either pay him more to continue his decline or they can take a chance on starting a third round draft pick at defensive end, even though that pick would be better used on an offensive lineman. This just sucks no matter which way you look at it.

4. There are no draft picks, the offensive line sucks, the defensive line sucks, the secondary sucks, the linebacker corps is mediocre at best, oh god damnit they're looking at signing Torry Holt? - Oh God. Why did I come back? I'm not fucking ready for this shit.

Breesus is Risen

Just. Fucking. Awesome.

Mike Martz Would Utterly Freaking Destroy Jay Cutler

UPDATE: They did it. They finally really did it. YOU MANIACS! YOU HIRED MIKE MARTZ! Ah, damn you! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

A couple days ago a rumor posted briefly over at Bleacher Report stated that Mike Martz would be the next offensive coordinator for the Bears, and frankly, I shit my pants. Why? Well, Mike Martz would absolutely be the end of Jay Cutler's career. I'm not the only person saying this, his own former GM in St. Louis, Charlie Armey, has said the very same thing in recent days. Why, exactly, Martz would ruin Cutler may take some time to explain. I'm willing to give it a shot, so here's why Mike Martz' offense is a terrible, terrible thing to throw Jay Cutler into:



1. Schematically, it's very similar to Ron Turner's offense- The Martz scheme and Turner's offense were both variants of the Air Coryell offense. Granted, Turner puts the emphasis on the run game and Martz focuses on the pass, but the terminology and the routes are all very similar. If Jay truly dislikes the scheme, than that's a bad move to begin with.



2. Jay Cutler would get pummeled into oblivion, and probably die on the field- The Bears offensive line absolutely fucking sucks. No one denies this fact. You know who didn't have a bad offensive line? The Rams, from 1999-2005. They had the young, good Orlando Pace, as well as a young Fred Miller and several other quality players over the years. Yet they still gave up an average of 43 sacks a year. Martz' Detroit teams gave up 114 sacks in two years under Martz' direction, despite the fact that the Lions had given up just 31 sacks the year before Martz took over, and his 2008 49ers squad gave up a whopping 55 sacks. All in all that's an average of 42.8 sacks per year. The Bears gave up 35 sacks this year, and that seemed awful to all of us.



Why is it that Martz' teams give up such a ludicrous number of sacks each year despite the relatively high quality of his offensive lines? Because Martz' emphasis on throwing deep at all costs frequently encourages his quarterbacks to hold onto the ball and get hammered. Given the terrible suckitude of the Bears offensive line, I don't see any possibility of Cutler getting sacked fewer than 50 or 60 times in a Martz led offense, assuming he's standing long enough to take that many hits.



3. No, seriously, Jay Cutler would die- In 10 seasons as an offensive coordinator or Head Coach/Offensive Coordinator, Martz has had a quarterback start all 16 games in a season just 4 times (ironically, one of those 16 game starters was Kurt Warner in 1999, who had to take over after the original starter, Trent Green, was sacked and broke his leg in a preseason game). Broken down:



1999- Kurt Warner- 16 games started, 29 sacks (not too bad)



2000- Kurt Warner- 11 games started, 20 sacks (not good), Trent Green- 5 games started, 24 sacks (absolutely fucking terrible)



2001- Kurt Warner- 16 games started, 38 sacks (fantastic by Martzian standards)



2002-Kurt Warner- 6 games started, 21 sacks (awful, awful), Marc Bulger- 7 games started, 12 sacks (still bad), Jamie Martin- 2 games started, 10 sacks (holy shit).



2003- Marc Bulger- 15 games started, 37 sacks (pretty terrible), Kurt Warner- 1 game started, 6 sacks (Jesus Christ!)



2004- Marc Bulger- 14 games started, 41 sacks (awful), Chris Chandler- 2 games started, 7 sacks (seriously, Chris? Someone as fragile as you signed with Mike Martz??), and Jamie Martin-played one half (after Chris Chandler had been knocked out of the game) and received 2 sacks.



2005- Marc Bulger- 8 games started, 26 sacks, Jamie Martin- 5 games started, 11 sacks, Ryan Fitzpatrick - 3 games started, 9 sacks



2006- Jon Kitna- 16 games started, 63 sacks (Have I made my point yet?)



2007- Jon Kitna- 16 games started, 51 sacks (I have some serious respect for Jon Kitna's ability to take a beating).



2008- Shaun Hill- 8 games started, 23 sacks (that's bad), JT O'Sullivan- 8 games started, 32 sacks (that's worse).



4. The system encourages turnovers- Jay Cutler is already far too much of a "gunslinger," if you will. This system would actually encourage that. Whereas the terrible run game and offensive line actually forced Turner to call a pass-heavy offense that led to a mounting pile of interceptions, Martz designs his game plan to do the same god damn thing. Outside of the miracle 1999 season, where Warner threw just 15 interceptions (the 7th fewest in the league), Martz offenses have typically ranked in the bottom five in the league in interceptions. The numbers:



1999- 15 interceptions, 7th in the league (going from fewest to most)
2000- 23 interceptions, 28th
2001- 22 interceptions, 24th
2002- 27 interceptions, 32nd
2003-23 interceptions, 31st
2004-22 interceptions, 28th
2005- 24 interceptions, 30th
2006-22 interceptions, 27th
2007- 22 interceptions, 30th
2008-19 interceptions, 26th.



Guh.



5. The system abandons the run, often for no apparent reason- This is the most common criticism of Martz, and its completely valid. Martz offenses, throughout his 10 year OC/HC career, have had an average ranking of 27th in the league in terms of rushing attempts. This is despite the fact that Martz has had outstanding runningbacks like Marshall Faulk, Steven Jackson, and Frank Gore, and the fact that his offenses are generally effective at running the ball, since their average ranking in terms of yards per rush attempt is 14th. This basically meants that even if the Bears somehow fixed their offensive line in the offseason and improved the running game, Martz would still abandon the run and force Cutler to carry a disproportionate amount of the load on offense.



6. It's just not that great of an offense- When the Martz offense first hit the scene in 1999, it was outstanding, and it stayed that way for several years. But the fact is, just like most offenses, talent had far more to do with its success than the scheme itself. When Kurt Warner started all 16 games in a season, the Rams were 27-5 (0.844%) and made it to two Superbowls. In seasons where Kurt Warner didn't start 16 games the Rams were 44-36 (0.550%) and went just 1-3 in the playoffs (and didn't even go in 2002 and 2005). Martz' Lions and 49ers teams went just 17-31 in his three years as offensive coordinator for those teams.



I don't know who the Bears are going to hire as their next offensive coordinator. Ted Phillips shot down the rumor that it would be Martz. Jay Cutler wants Jeremy Bates, the current USC offensive coordinator and his former QB coach in Denver. I personally think that would be the best route to go, as someone that works well with the slightly temperamental quarterback would be better than Martz, who earlier this season said Cutler needed to "grow up". Just know that if Mike Martz does somehow end up with the job, I'll be getting drunk off my ass and toasting Jay Cutler's doomed career.

SUPEAUXR BEAUXL BEAUXND!

GEAUX SAINTS! How awesome is it that the team of which I am a LIFE LONG fan, and have ALWAYS rooted for without exception, is going to the Superbowl! You're going down Manning! This won't be like your last Superbowl, when you trounced the Bears, that team to which I have no emotional connection whatsoever. GEAUX SAINTS!

The 2009 Bears- The Bad

Well, I was going to do a player by player breakdown of the bad players from the Bears this year before moving onto the coaching staff, but with the latest coaching changes, that's worth more of a discussion, so here's briefly a list of players on this team who suck ass and should probably die:

-Orlando Pace
-Frank Omiyale
-Olin Kreutz' rotten corpse.
-Greg Olsen (most of the time)
-Tommie Harris
-Nathan Vasher
-Danieal Manning
-Zack Fucking Bowman
-Al Afalava
-Kevin Payne
-The three-headed linebacker monster of suck (Hillenmeyer/Williams/Roach)
-Pretty much anyone else on the roster besides the ones I explicitly named yesterday.

Moving on-

The Bears fired 6 coaches yesterday. Let's look at each one-

-Ron Turner, Offensive Coordinator: Anyone that reads this site will know how fervently I defended Turner before this season. His system is not a bad system, and I don't believe he himself is a particularly bad coordinator. He's not particularly good either. He's certainly not innovative. Any moron could look at the offense this year and trace every problem back to the offensive line. Turner isn't responsible for putting that together. But he Is responsible for gameplanning around that, at least somewhat. He didn't. The continued insistence on "establishing the run" over the first half of the season cost this team dearly, as did his utter refusal (until After the team had been eliminated from contention) to roll Cutler out and utilize his mobility in order to buy time to pass. His wide receiver screens, while not as pointless as those used by Crowton, Shoop, or Shea, still sucked. I won't miss him, but he doesn't deserve 100% of the blame, either.

-Harry Hiestand, Offensive Line Coach: This is completely deserved. Name one offensive lineman the Bears have developed effectively during Hiestand's tenure. The only time the line was effective was during the 05 and 06 seasons, when a veteran heavy lineup really didn't Need coaching.

-Pep Hamilton, Quarterbacks Coach: Thank god. Can you name any three quarterbacks with more easily fixable mechanical and technical issues than Rex Grossman, Kyle Orton, and Jay Cutler? Can you name anything Hamilton did to fix Any of those issues?

-Rob Boras, Tight Ends Coach: Can I blame him for my hatred of Greg Olsen? It's not this guy's fault that Olsen drops everything and can't block, is it? If it is, he should probably just kill himself.

And assistants Luke Butkus and Charles London: Other than pissing the meatheads off by firing Dick Butkus' kid, I don't think this will have any effect.

Now, I agree with all of those firings. My problem that list is that it fails to include many of the people who needed to be fired the most, namely, the defensive staff and Lovie's cronies.

I understand that it was a pipe dream to hope that Lovie would be fired, especially after they won the last two games of the season. You'd think in a normal organization three playoff-less seasons would have a bigger impact than two games that allowed a team to finish 7-9, but hey, this is the Bears we're talking about. The fact, however, is that Lovie needs to have the circle of yes men that surrounds him removed. For God's sake, Bob Babich still has a fucking job. The rumors stating that Lovie had decided to make Marinelli the defensive coordinator are fortunately untrue, but that still won't change much.

With Babich and Marinelli and his fellow Cover 2 loyalists in place, the defensive coordinator that Lovie hires (probably Perry Fewell) will be surrounded and outnumbered, if he even wishes to change things. It doesn't matter who calls the defensive plays for this team. The scheme is broken. Tommie Harris is worthless. The front four has been mostly ineffective and wildly inconsistent for three straight years. The safeties all suck, and the corners can't keep up with anybody. The defense and the defensive coaching staff needs a complete overhaul, and Lovie needs to be stripped of as much of his authority as possible. That's not happening, so this team's fucked for at least one more year.

With some actual improvements on the offensive line (which won't be forthcoming if Angelo just signs this year's Orlando Pace or Omiyale on the market) and an offensive coordinator that tailors the offense to fit Cutler's strengths (like Jeremy Bates, the former Denver QB coach and current USC offensive coordinator that Cutler is supposedly lobbying for), this team can make marginal improvements and perhaps be in playoff contention next year, but if nothing changes on the defensive side of the ball the odds of winning anything are greatly reduced. In short, give up hope. Just give it up. It's going to be another long fucking year.

The 2009 Bears- The Good

Not that any of you should care, given that we are all LIFELONG Saints fans (at least until they get eliminated, since they've now gone 1-3 as my favorite team), but it's time to say a few things about the 2009 Chicago Bears. I had thought about writing more about them during the last few weeks of the season, but as they were eliminated from contention before showing any flashes of competence, it seemed best to wait until the end to get the story right. So here we go:

The Good-
- Let's just start off with my textbook defense of Jay Cutler. Half of those picks weren't his fault. Half of them were. That's still too many god damned harebrained interceptions, but let's look at the positives of his season first:

Jay Cutler in 2009-

-27 touchdown passes. That's the third best single season effort behind Erik Kramer (29 in 1995) and Sid Luckman (28 in 1943).

-3,666 passing yards. That's easily the second best in Bears history, right after Kramer's 3,838 in 1995.

-229.1 passing yards per game. That's 2nd to, you guessed it, Kramer's 239.9 ypg in 1995.

-60.5 completion percentage. That's the 2nd highest in Bears history (minimum of 10 starts) after Jim Harbaugh in 1993 (and for what it's worth, Harbaugh that year had just 7 td passes and threw 230 fewer passes than Jay did this year).

-1st in passing completions (336) and attempts (555)

-His 76.8 career (minimum 10 starts) passer rating as a Bear is, sadly enough, the 4th best in Bears history behind Erik Kramer (80.7), Jim McMahon (80.4), and Steve Walsh (77.9).

- And last but not least, at least his 26 interceptions are only the 2nd most in Bears history, behind Sid Luckman's 31 in 1947. Just to show how much the game has changed, Luckman actually made the Pro Bowl that year.

The fact is, despite the picks, despite the god awful line that allowed him to get sacked 35 freaking times, despite the inexperienced wide receivers and the lame duck offensive coordinator (sorry Ron, but you let me down big time this year), Jay managed to have arguably the second best passing season in Bears history. That says more about the ineptitude of this franchise than it does about Jay, but in all honesty there Are positives to take away from his efforts this year. The line needs to be tweaked. He needs more time to set his feet, because when he does, he's nearly unstoppable. Jay needs to stop rushing throws and hearing footsteps. All of this is elementary stuff that's been said about him throughout his career, and it's been said about promising Bears qbs in the past (see Grossman, Rex). This is fixable. There's no reason to give up on Cutler or doubt the wisdom of trading for him.

Outside of the QB-

Matt Forte- he had a down year this year. Not all of it was his fault. He was hurt in the offseason and the offensive line was so far below competent that if competence was sunlight they'd be the mole people. Forte deserves some of the blame, however, for his indecisiveness. Hit the hole, son. It's not gonna last long with your blockers. However, he's the first Bears rookie to rack up 2,000+ yards rushing in his first two years since Walter Payton. He managed to rack up 1,400 total yards from scrimmage in a terrible, terrible year, giving him 3,115 total yards in his young career. He's the surest bet to bounce back on this team, even more so than Cutler.

Devin Hester- He showed some real flashes of potential, as he always does. Had he not missed all or parts of four of five games he may very well have gained 1,000 yards receiving. I'm not sure he's ever going to be the #1 receiver, but I don't mean that as a Morrissey-style derogatory comment. He's simply not as smart as Aromashadu or Knox and they've just developed faster than him. As a slot receiver, #2 receiver, and deep threat he's still an extremely valuable player to have, and he'll continue to progress with Cutler under center.

Johnny Knox- The Bears should never let anyone forget that they got Cutler AND Knox in the trade with the Broncos. Given Denver's late season collapse and Kyle Orton's so-so finish, any moran who still thinks the Bears "lost the trade" should probably choke on his own taint and die. Knox was outstanding as a returner and slot receiver. He and Hester may have combined to make more frustrating and absolutely idiotic mistakes than any two wideouts in history this year, and they often cost Cutler dearly, but they also accomplished more than enough to give fans the feeling that with Cutler, Forte, Hester, Knox, Aromashadu, and, to a lesser extent, Greg Fucking Olsen, this unit is but an offensive line and a coordinator away from being truly terrifying.

Devin Aromashadu- Yes, we all had a good laugh at the meatheads who demanded that he start during the offseason. But even the meatheads can latch onto something sometimes. It's really a scathing condemnation of the coach and the GM that they took so damn long to get him on the field. I look forward to seeing what he does next year when he's Not stuck on the practice squad.

Greg Olsen- I suppose I should say something good about him. 60 receptions, 612 yds, and 8 tds are all fine totals for a tight end, but damned if he didn't feel like a disappointment. I still don't really like him.

Lance Briggs- He weathered the storm pretty well without help from....anybody. It wasn't his best season, but it wasn't his worst, which would have been excusable under the circumstances.

Expect the coaching staff and the rest of the defense to show up on tomorrow's article discussing what went wrong this season. That's going to be a much longer article and I'm tired of writing for now.

In Which I Remind You We're College Students

Iggins! and I are both trapped in the hell that is finals week, so posting will continue to be spotty up until next week. Sorry for the hell that must put you all through. On the bright side, GEEEAUUXXX SAINTS! 13-0!!! What a great time to be a LIFE LONG SAINTS FAN. Certainly wouldn't want to be stuck with those poor, 5-8, listless, aimless, hopeless Bears fans. Those sonsabitches must spend every night drinking paint thinner and curling themselves into the fetal position, begging for sleep or death to take them away from the pain of consciousness.

Weekly Picks, Bandwagon Edition

Now two games separate Red and I as Oregon State had to go and fail once again. But life is grand, for we are Saints fans!

Sigh.

Here are the picks:

(7-4) Philadelphia @ (6-5) Atlanta

Iggins!: Chris Redman, eh? Philadelphia wins.

Code Red: He went to Louisville. That has nothing to do with anything, I just felt the need to point it out. Philadelphia wins.

(1-10) St. Louis @ (4-7) Chicago

Code Red: Oh thank god. For one week the pain will stop. Or ease significantly. Or not. Or who gives a shit because I’m a lifelong Saints fan. Bears win.

Iggins!: Yeah even I can’t pick against the Bears here. Thank God I’m a Saints fan. (But seriously I have been a Drew Brees fan since he went to Purdue so this website suits me).

(2-9) Detroit @ (8-3) Cincinnati

Iggins!: Wow this game’ll be… fun. Bengals win.

Code Red: Bengals.

(3-8) Oakland @ (6-5) Pittsburgh

Code Red: Steelers.

Iggins!: Rapey should be back. And even if he isn’t… it’s the Raiders. Steelers win.

(5-6) Tennessee @ (11-0) Indianapolis

Iggins!: The Colts have been flirtin’ with disaster for weeks now and this week they play unstoppable God-man Chris Johnson and my boy Vince Young who can’t seem to lose. I’ve got Zulu Cthulu for the win. Titans win.

Code Red: God DAMNIT. Stop him! STOP HIM NOW! Colts win.

(7-4) Denver @ (3-8) Kansas City

Code Red: Guh. Sadly Denver’s losing streak is long over with opponents like this. Broncos win.

Iggins!: I hate myself for doing this but Kansas City wins.

(7-4) New England @ (5-6) Miami

Iggins!: Insert ESPN comment about Bill Belichick after a loss, New England wins.

Code Red: Insert ESPN comment about Tom Brady being more NOW. New England wins.

(11-0) New Orleans @ (3-8) Washington

Code Red: Undefeated, bitches! Geaux Saints!

Iggins!: 16-0 Bitch! Saints win.

(1-10) Tampa Bay @ (4-7) Carolina

Iggins!: Delhomme is back to his old self again and Freeman has been knocking at the door against really good teams for weeks. Tampa Bay wins.

Code Red: Eh, why not? Tampa Bay wins.

(5-6) Houston @ (6-5) Jacksonville

Code Red: The Texans will win this game. Or they won’t. Those are the options. Texans win.

Iggins!: That was very diplomatic of you. Texans win.

(8-3) San Diego @ (1-10) Cleveland

Iggins!: And the race for the first overall draft pick is on! San Diego wins.

Code Red: Cleveland’s going to have it. San Diego wins.

(8-3) Dallas @ (6-5) New York Giants

Code Red: Dallas isn’t That good, and the Giants have to do something at some point. Giants win.

Iggins!: Yeah, but the Giants suck. Cowboys win.

(5-6) San Francisco @ (4-7) Seattle

Iggins!: It’s too bad that Alex Smith’s resurgence isn’t leading to wins for the Niners. 49ers win.

Code Red: You cannot WIN WITH EM. 49ers win.

(10-1) Minnesota @ (7-4) Arizona

Code Red: Arizona, because fuck you, that’s why. Cardinals win.

Iggins!: Thank you for giving me a win. Minnesota wins.

(6-5) Baltimore @ (7-4) Green Bay

Iggins!: Baltimore hasn’t shown greatness yet this season so I can’t imagine they’ll beat Green Bay at Lambeau on Monday Night. Packers win.

Code Red: I’m a bitter, spiteful, hateful man. Ravens win.