A few college opinions before we begin here...
-Iowa sucks. Actually, that's not entirely true. Their coach, quarterback, and secondary are the worst in the league NAY, the NCAA. The defense, line, rbs, and DJK are good. But seriously, we're going 2-10.
-Cincinnati will win the Big East, this is the truth. But USF is still a decent team, maybe (certainly) not the number 5 team, but still good.
-The SEC champion will have at least one conference loss and possibly two. Kentucky WILL beat LSU this weekend, that is undeniable truth, my friends. Taste it. It is delicous.
-Also, Illinois is the best team in the Big Ten. Really, they have no competition. And I'm going to be at the Illinois at Iowa game this Saturday. Christ save me.
-On to the NFL...
Power Rankings, week 5:
No movement here, much like their offenses:
32) Miami Dolphins
31) St. Louis Rams (ARGH! I'M GON BANG MY HEAD INTO A WALL!! OUCH!!!)
30) New Orleans Saints (Catch a pass? Why the fuck would we do that?)
Really, genuinely awful, but at least they got ONE win:
29) Atlanta Falcons
28) New York Jets
27) Kansas City Chiefs
26) Buffalo Bills
25) Minnesota Vikings
24) Cincinnati Bengals (Cincinnati is the most racist town in America. Chad Johnson has never done anything but blame himself for his team's losses, which he did last week, yet now he's a "cancer"? Ocho Cinco has never hurt his team, not once, but apparently he's a cancer because he's 1) Black 2) A wide receiver who talks and 3) Yelling at his invalid quarterback. Fuck Cincinnati (the town))
Overrated! clap clap clapclapclap:
23) Denver Broncos
22) San Francisco 49ers
21) Philadelphia Eagles
20) Baltimore Ravens
Mediocrity is still just as tasty:
19) Cleveland Browns (Can't drop em too far, it was the Pats)
18) Carolina Panthers (And now they get Carr for the rest of the year? They're on the way down...)
17) Detroit Lions (And God said BACK TO EARTH WITH YE, and so they went)
This is so strange it's hard to type...
16) Oakland Raiders (all alone at the top of the West!)
15) Arizona Cardinals
14) Houston Texans
On the upswing (order is restored?)
13) Chicago Bears (much more on this later)
12) San Diego Chargers
Steadily getting better:
11) Tampa Bay Buccaneers
10) Jacksonville Jaguars
9) Washington Redskins
8) New York Giants
These guys will drop further next week...
7) Seattle Seahawks
6) Green Bay Packers
5) Pittsburgh Steelers
4) Tennessee Titans (Yes he threw 3 picks. But he won. He's a winner and so are the Titans.)
3) Indianapolis Colts
2) Dallas Cowboys
1) New England Patriots