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Monday, October 8, 2007

Aw Shucks, I love Football.

(Favre throws 7 yard slant under coverage to Driver. 10 yard run after pass.)

Shucks. I love football. All night long, just me and my rocket arm throwin them slant routes. I must seriously be the best quarterback ever to play the game.

John Madden: Look at the way Brett Favre rockets in the pass. He throws that five yard slant route better than any quarterback in the history of the game.

(Fave throws 6 yard out route to James Jones, 5 yard run after catch)

I mean really, the Bears can't stop me. Golly, ain't no team in the NFL can stop this powerhouse train of quick slants and out routes underneath the coverage. Shoot, I'm so dang happy I didn't retire. I'm showin the world that Ol' Brett's still got it, and by it of course I mean the ability to throw 5 yard slants. But damnit, I sure throw em purty.

(Favre throws 6 yard slant pass under coverage. Pumps fist energetically)

John Madden: Now, now, Brett Favre, he throws that slant pass prettier than any others in the game. Did I mention that Brett, he, Loves the game? You gotta love a guy that loves the game. Because if you don't love football, than your just playing it. But Brett doesn't play football, he loves it, and that makes him a great lover of the game.

I mean golly, what a great game to play. What a great use of my abilities. My resurgence is instoppable. Unstoppable? Shucks, who the hell cares?

(Second half. Bears switch to Cover 2, move safety up to stop slant route underneath. Pressure comes, Favre rolls right, panics, throws ball straight to Brian Urlacher. Pass intercepted)

Madden: Well, Brett made that pass because he loves the game. He loves it so much that he made something out of nothing. Sometimes you have to gamble....and get picked off by a linebacker four yards away. Man, look at the love of the game.

Oh dad gummit. Why the hell did they do that? What's that safety doin there? Shit. Well now what the hell do we do. S'pose I'll ask Coach McCarthy.

Coach McCarthy: Brett, they took away the underneath passes. We're fucked. That's all we've run now for the year and a half I've been here. Hell, it's all I ran in San Fransisco. Just, christ, just uh, run the ball every down from now on. How and when we do pass, just, just keep trying to throw the slant. I mean, they took it away, but, well hell. What do we do now Brett?

Dangit coach, I dunno. Golly I shoulda retired.

Coach McCarthy: Just get back out there and hand the ball off. God we're fucked.

(Run, Run, Run, Punt)


(Next possession: Run, Run, Incomplete Slant, Punt)


(Bears score to go up 27-20)


(Next Green Bay possession. Bears play off the corners to prevent deep pass)


(Slant pass to Driver. 8 yard gain. Slant pass to Donald Lee. 8 yard gain. Slant pass to Donald Lee. 8 yard gain. Incomplete slant. Slant pass to James Jones. 8 yard gain. Dump off pass to Vernand Morency. 9 yard gain. Incomplete Slant.)

Coach McCarthy: Brett, we're gonna have to throw it deep. We've got one last play. God, we're fucked.

Dang it. No, wait. I'm Brett dog gone Favre. I'm the gunslinger. I used to live for this. I can make this pass. Screw them dang slants. I am the warrior!

John Madden: And this is what Brett Favre lives for. He's the gunslinger. This is his time to make a play.

All up to you now, Brett. Be the hero!

(Favre winds up. Chucks the ball long into the end zone. Intercepted.)


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