NFL Prognostication Bukakke Week 3

Giants @ Panthers

Code Red: The Giants defense has looked like a sieve lately, but there’s zero evidence to show me that the Panthers defense is even remotely capable of slowing down the Giants. Giants win in yet another high-scoring affair.

Iggins!: The Giants haven’t looked very good so far, and they needed a pretty hefty comeback to beat the Bucs. I’ll go out on a limb and say the Panthers have figured some things out since the loss to Tampa. Panthers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Hell, I don't know. Giants.

Chiefs @ Saints

Iggins!: Probably should have seen this kind of start coming. The bad news is Matt Cassel sucks, the Chiefs don’t run the ball until they’re already behind by four scores, and the defense hasn’t gotten it together yet. The good news is they might actually be in position to draft Matt Barkley!... yay? Saints win.

Code Red: Oh no. The Chiefs have too much talent to get the #1 overall pick. Welcome to 6-10, possibly Landry Jones-ville. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: In the land of the blind, Drew Brees beats the Chiefs. Or something. Saints win.

Bengals @ Redskins

Code Red: I appreciate the Rams allowing RGIII to keep looking good while shutting up the RETURN TO GLOREE ‘Skins fans that had them penciled in for the Superbowl after week one. The Bengals offense should put up points on a Redskins defense that has no Orakpo or Carriker now for the entire season. Bengals win. Sorry RGIII.

Iggins!: I have the feeling the Bengals are this year’s Bucs. I’ll take the zone read and the Redskins to win.

Mrs. Code Red: Andy Dalton, I like you, but I don't think you can get outscore RGIII. Redskins win.

Lions @ Titans

Iggins!: The Lions are so mediocre. It’s a shame the Titan suck. Lions to win, unconvincingly.

Code Red: Matthew Stafford’s been hot dogshit for two games and yet Cutler’s the one being lobotomized as usual. Lions win, though.

Mrs. Code Red: Don't want it to be them, but I assume the Lions can handle this. Lions win.

49ers @ Vikings

Code Red: Wow. In three weeks the 49ers have already won the NFC North. 49ers win.

Iggins!: Yeah, not looking forward to that Thursday nighter in a few weeks. 49ers win.

Code Red: It’s a Monday Nighter. I don’t really buy into such trends, but I do know the Bears have played better on Mondays than Thursday. Still scared.

Mrs. Code Red: 49ers. If they can beat the Packers, they can beat the Vikings.

Jags @ Colts

Iggins!: I have a strict policy wherein I do not pick Blaine Gabbert to win things. Colts win.

Code Red: I love how Mike Mularkey was all “good news! Gabbert’s injury won’t keep him from starting,” and that one Jaguars fan who still goes to the games said “Shit.” Colts Win. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: Ohhhh...gosh. Colts I guess. 

 

Rams @ Bears

Code Red: We suffered the sin of pride and paid for it. There’s not enough room in this forum to discuss the stupidity surrounding the “We lost and Cutler played badly and therefore we must once again treat him like Hitler incarnate” crowd, but suffice it to say the Rams are exactly what this Bears team needs. They are talented enough to provide a challenge if the Bears don’t take them seriously, but the team should get a much needed win here to shut some people up. Bears 30-13.

Iggins!: If the Bears have realized that they have a dominant run game which they should use early and often to set up play-action, this will be a fairly easy win. If they do what they have done to start games the last two weeks they could get surprised here. I’ll take the Bears to win, 28-20, because I don’t think Tice has quite gotten it yet.

Code Red: WHY HASN’T HE GOTTEN IT? THAT IS WHAT YOU SAID ALL YEAR LONG YOU WERE GOING TO DO.

Mrs. Code Red: They have to be able to beat the Rams, right? Bears win.

Bills @ Browns

Iggins!: Icky. The Bills aren’t as good as they looked last week, and the Brandon Weeden pulled it together for a nice recovery last week. Screw it, I’ll take the Browns in an upset.

Code Red: I don’t feel even remotely confident in this pick. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Uhhhh... Bills. 

 

Buccaneers @ Cowboys

Code Red: With their loss to the Seahawks the Cowboys will tempt you to pick the Bucs, who have looked better than expected so far. But I know better. Cowboys win.

Iggins!: Flipping coin now… good Cowboys this week? Cowboys win.

Mrs. Code Red: Cowboys. 

 

Jets @ Dolphins

Iggins!: Yup, the Jets are still the Jets. Miami wins, and I LOL so goddamned hard.

Code Red: I can’t buy a rookie QB against a Rex Ryan defense. Jets win

Mrs. Code Red: Jets. 

 

Eagles @ Cardinals

Code Red: The Kurse of Kevin Kolb’s Revenge! Michael Vick will play horribly and the Eagles will pull it out again and you will be mad. Embrace these truths. Eagles win.

Iggins!: Oh shit, the battle of the two least-deserving 2-0 records in history. I’ll take the Eagles to win, and cry that they are 3-0.

Mrs. Code Red: Jets. Wait, what game was it again? I guess the Eagles. (she was dictating).

Falcons @ Chargers

Iggins!: Definitely going Falcons here. Should be relatively high-scoring, but Atlanta is the better team and they’ll pull it out late.

Code Red: Atlanta is a good team. Should win their division. But I still feel like they’re not that much better than they have been. I think they lose this one on the road. Chargers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Chargers. Gotta stick with 'em.

Steelers @ Raiders

Code Red: Really, Oakland? The fucking Dolphins? Steelers win in a blowout.

Iggins!: Yeah, not much to add here. Steelers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Steelers. 

 

Texans @ Broncos

Code Red: Damned if Peyton hasn’t made every game on the Broncos schedule so far must-see TV. This should be a good’n. I think the Texans just have more firepower. Texans win.

Iggins!: The Texans finally get an AQ opponent here after disposing of FCS Southeast last week. I’ll take the Texans to win, but this should be a damn fine game.

Mrs. Code Red: I don't know, is Peyton going to lose twice in a row? I guess I'll take the Texans. 

 

Pats @ Ravens

Iggins!: Isn’t there something where Belichick never loses two games in a row? I think that ends here. The Ravens had their random terrible game last week, and even though Flacco will always be Flacco, the Ravens should recover this week. Ravens win.

Code Red: I really don’t know. I hate to pick the Pats to go 1-2, but if you lose to the Cardinals at home you lose the benefit of the doubt momentarily. Ravens win. 

 

Mrs. Code Red: Pats. Tawmmy fackin Brady is nawt losing two in a row. Ray Lewis stabbed a guy. 

 

Packers @ Seahawks

Code Red: It would be so awesome for the Packers to lose this game on the road in a place where strange losses just seem to happen, but life is seldom so kind to us. Packers win. Also, why is this a prime time game? Did Holmgren have something to do with this?

Iggins!: I’m pretty sure Seattle will win this game, but that’s far too crazy to actually pick, so the Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Packers.