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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 8

Dolphins (0-6) at Giants (4-2)

Code Red: God damn you, Miami. All you had to do was not give the Tebow morons one more week to smile and you'd have not only provided me with endless laughs at their expense but another victory in the Prog. Bukakke. You did neither, and you may go straight to hell. Giants win.

Iggins!: If I were to whine I might point out that USF had that game in the bag before that stupid last second Cincinnati drive. BUT I WON'T (wait a minute...) Anyway, Giants win.

Mrs. Code Red: Ha....Giants. The Dolphins blew their only chance at a win, possibly this entire year.

Jags (2-5) at Texans (4-3)


Mrs. Code Red: Matt Schaub is playing well, Owen Daniels is a consistent tight end, looks like they may have Andre Johnson back. Yep, those Texans are a great, well-rounded team on offense. Texans win. *Cough*Arian Foster can die*Cough*

Code Red: I'm staying out of this. Texans win.

Cardinals (1-4) at Ravens (4-2)

Code Red: Someone should have told Arizona that the team sucked and they'd have gotten better value by keeping their draft picks, shutdown corner, and cash than by trading for Kevin Kolb. Wait, that someone was me. Ravens win.

Iggins!: There's much more wrong with this team than their slightly above mediocre QB. Fitzy maybe should've gone somewhere else. Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: Well, the Ravens lost to the Jaguars, so it doesn't seem impossible they could fuck this up. But maybe they'll learn their lesson and run the ball with Ray Rice, and Code Red will stop spending every weekend crying in the fetal position about his fantasy team. Ravens win.

Vikings (1-6) at Panthers (2-5)

Iggins!: So this QB draft may actually turn out pretty damn good. Shocking! Except that I said Cam Newton would be great and I've been espousing the virtues of Christian Ponder since he was a Junior at FSU. Toots own horn. Cam wins here.

Code Red: I was actually pretty impressed with Ponder, and the Panthers run defense is absolutely turrible, so I'm taking AP and Ponder with the upset. Vikings win.

Mrs Code Red: This is the kinda game that Cam Newton Should win. Cam wins.

Saints (5-2) at Rams (0-6)

Code Red: The Rams suck, but the schedule makers really boned them hard for the first half of this season. Saints win.

Iggins!: It's pretty easy to pick against St. Louis at this point. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Why pick the Rams until they actually win? Note: We may never pick the Rams this year. Saints win.

Colts (0-7) at Titans (3-3)

Iggins!: I think we know who the Titans are now, and we also know that Indy is worse. Titans win.

Code Red: These two teams got beat by a combined 89 points last weekend. But the Colts are awful-er. Titans win.

Mrs. Code Red: I have nothing witty to say here. Poor Colts. Titans win.

Lions (5-2) at Broncos (2-4)

Code Red: The Lions are hurting, and I was enjoying their little fall back to earth (it shall continue after their bye), but there's no way they collapse against Tebow like the Dolphins did. Lions win.

Iggins!: It would make my day so hard if Tebow beats the Lions and they tailspin to finish 6-10. But alas, I can't go that far out on a limb so I'll just hope I'm wrong. Lions win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Lions might not be as good as many people thought they were, but they're better than Tebow. Lions win.

Redskins (3-3) at Bills (4-2)

Iggins!: So Beck is starting. Hightower and Moss are out for a long time. And they're playing Buffalo. Bills win.

Code Red: All of these things are true, but hopefully Buffalo's soft run defense will be good for Ryan Torain. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bills win, the Redskins have earned my ire for benching Sexy Rexy and giving him pneumonia. Dick move, Washington.

Bengals (4-2) at Seahawks (2-4)

Code Red: The AFC North gets to play both the NFC West and the AFC South. That's the jackpot, and it's resulted in absurdities like a soon to be a 5-2 Bengals team. Odd. Bengals win.

Iggins!: Andy Dalton and AJ Green would like Cam Newton to sit the fuck down so they might get some rookie of the year consideration. Bengals win.

Mrs. Code Red: I can't pick the Seahawks. Bengals win.

Patriots (5-1) at Steelers (5-2)

Iggins!: I'm not yet convinced the Steelers are really good. Pats win.

Code Red: The Steelers seem like they've straightened out their issues enough to slow down Brady a little bit, that, and New England's piss poor defense, should get Pitt the win at home. Steelers win.

Mrs. Code Red: As long as Tom Brady can keep the Steelers offense off the field (also, the Patriots terrible defense), the Patriots should win.

Browns (3-3) at 49ers (5-1)

Code Red: That soft AFC North schedule has also allowed a .500 Browns team to hide all of their many, many inadequacies. The 49ers are actually good. Strange. 49ers win.

Iggins!: We have to face facts that the thing that was most wrong with San Francisco was Mike Singletary. And that hurts me deeply. 49ers win.

Mrs. Code Red: 49ers. They're actually good. Bizarre.

Cowboys (3-3) at Eagles (2-4)

Code Red: Call me superstitious, I'd rather face an Eagles team coming off of a win over their divison rival than one coming off of a loss. Eagles win.

Iggins!: Yeah as bad as Philly has been the Cowboys are too spotty to pick on the road. Eagles win.

Mrs. Code Red: I don't trust Tony Romo. Eagles win.

Chargers (4-2) at Chiefs (3-3)

Iggins!: This may be totally ridiculous, but the Bolts have looked bad and the Chiefs seem to have remembered the formula. Have to pick the Chiefs here.

Code Red: The Chiefs have remembered the formula indeed. The formula being: Play the Vikings, the Colts, and a Raiders team starting Kyle Boller. Apparently the Chargers are none of those things. Chargers win.

Mrs. Code Red: If Philip Rivers can't make something of this game, I'm not sure what to think of the world anymore. Chargers better win.

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