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Sunday, October 10, 2010

Bears 23, Panthers 6 and A Lot of Ugly In Between

Well, most of that game played out the way I expected. It was excellent to see Matt Forte get going. I had begun to think that it was illegal for a runningback to bounce it outside, but apparently not. Anywho, onto the Good/Bad


Matt Forte: Just an absolutely fantastic performance from #22: 166 yards rushing, 22 yards receiving, and 2 TDs. Those are the kinds of numbers we've been expecting for awhile. Hopefully that can carry over against teams that are actually good (although, to be fair, Carolina had been allowing just 112 ypg and a 3.3 average on the ground before this game).

Julius Peppers: I've been a fan of the Peppers signing since day one. I thought it would be hard for a defensive end to justify 91 million dollars, but hey, it ain't my money. So far, however, he's been worth every fucking dime. He's some kind of man-beast.

UrlacherBriggsSamoa: The three headed monster was at it again, with Urlacher turning in an interception, Briggs and Tino each compiling a sack, and all three of them contributing to my raging erection. Please stay healthy, guys.

Izzie Idonijie: Izzie had the kind of production we should expect from the guy benefiting from the attention given to Julius Peppers as he tallied 3 sacks. Beautiful. I sure as hell don't miss Mark Anderson.

The Secondary: Yeah, Clausen is a not-good douche-bazooka, but this was still an impressive performance as they held the Panthers to just 96 yards passing and Tillman added an interception as well. Kudos, boys.

The Bad:

The offensive line (Sorta): They didn't exactly do a stellar job of opening up holes, but it's an accomplishment all by itself that they were able to jam up the middle and give Forte some cutback lanes, something they've sucked at all year. Brilliant move by the coaching staff to get J'Marcus Webb and Edwin Williams some playing time, as they both played pretty well. The pass blocking was still rather sketchy, although Collins should have thrown the ball on 1 of the sacks he took. Improved performance, but not quite there yet.

Jimmy Clausen: I just hate this surly-looking toehead. He reminds me of someone....I can't remember who... but that guy was also an entitled dickhead with little in the way of actual talent and I enjoyed watching both of them get pounded into the turf.

Todd Collins: This is a special moment, Todd. For you have joined: THE PANTHEON OF EPICALLY BAD CHICAGO BEARS QUARTERBACKS.

Roll Call: Concannon, Rakestraw, Carter, Douglass, Huff, Nix, Avellini, Phipps, Evans, Lisch, Tomczak, Willis, Furrer, Mirer, Stenstrom, McNown, Chandler, Burris, Stewart, Quinn, Krenzel, Hutchinson, Griese and....


Don't thank me, buddy. You earned it with your 6/16, 32 yd, 4 INT performance, and frankly, your 10/27, 68 YD, 0 TD, 5 INT performance in 7 quarters of work truly ranks among the, umm, rankest in the illustrious history of shitty Bears QBs. Your 5.9 (no, that is not a f*&king typo) QB rating will (assuming you never throw another pass as a Bear, and God help me if you do) place you as the LOWEST RATED STARTING QB IN BEARS HISTORY. Move over, Will Furrer (7.3 rating in 1992), you've been dethroned. Holy shit, Todd. Ho. Lee. Shit.

Well, that about does it for now. Good effort by every unit that didn't involve Todd Collins today. They beat up Carolina the way they should have. Let's pray for Cutler's speedy recovery and that Todd finds himself on the waiver wire reaaaaal soon. I'd rather try to steal Josh McCown from the UFL than see Todd in a Bear uniform again.

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