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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

People I Hate: Media Edition

Oftentimes, in the sports world, there are people who just make you want to kill an infant out of pure bloodlust. Every Wednesday I'll be giving you one more person who should be choked to death by Reggie Nelson's member.

This week? The Media.

No picture needed. They're everywhere.

Why? Three Reasons:

1) They assume we care about what they care about. Case and Point: Roger Clemens. I could not possibly care any less about this. Why? Because it has no bearing on sports (*cough cough* ESPN *cough cough*) and as such has no bearing on anything. So Roger took some drugs that made him heal faster and stay at his peak longer in exchange for a shorter lifespan and smaller testicles. I've seen this type of activity GLORIFIED many more times than I've seen it damned (disclaimer: for a pitcher, i'm fine with this. For a position player, I hope they die.). Just shut up about it, I don't care, we don't care, and I'd be willing to venture a guess that even your precious East Coast doesn't care. Which leads me to...

They are biased regionally. Normally this isn't so bad because even the worst bias won't cover bad teams. But now that Boston, home of filthy troglodite chowder-drooling fat-asses, has A TRIAD of great sports teams, ESPN coverage has become 70% Boston, and I can't tolerate that. Are they stupid enough not to realize that they over-cover Boston? Or did the tab devoted solely to the Patriots on ESPNNEWS seem reasonable?

3) I wish to work for this pulsating creature that borders on borg-like some day, which should frighten all of you. Yes, I could get into a one-sided argument about whther or not the blogosphere IS part of the media now, but I'd rather not. We'll save that for a rainy day.

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