Top 25 Roundup and Code Red Rankings

It was a blessed, beautiful week of college football, so without further ado, here's the roundup/rankings..

LSU 58, Louisiana Tech 10
LSU whomps on their degenerate cousin from Bizarro world (1-AA), regains their rightful number one spot in the rankings. Other than that, this game is basically just what you'd expect from an opponent like Louisiana Tech.

Oklahoma 52, Baylor 21
Look, I realize there's still a decent chance they wind up in the national title game. Yes, they're record is impressive. I'm still not buying it. I've just run out of logical reasons why not.

Kansas 43, Oklahoma St. 21
On the other hand, Kansas is slowly beginning to make a believer out of me and I don't know why..

OH GOD! THE HORROR! PLEASE JUST TAKE THE BIG 12! NO ONE WILL SAY ANYTHING!

West Virginia 38, Louisville 31
West Virginia continues to claw their way back to the top, and hopefully a BCS slot. Really, if you don't want Pat White and Steve Slaton on national tv, you hate America.

Missouri 41, Texas A&M 26
Missouri also wins, setting up an epic battle next week for the Big 12 North Title, a slot in the Big 12 title game, and a chance at the BCS. I want to root for Missouri in this game, but I feel compelled to root for Kansas because...

OH GOD! HE'S TOUCHING HIM! RUN REF! RUN!!!!!!!!

Maryland 42, Boston College 35
Well, Matt Ryan had the Heisman for like, 3 days there, didn't he? God I hate the ACC.

Arizona State 24, UCLA 20

Karl Dorrell heads closer toward firing. Our national nightmare is soon to end.

Georgia 45, Auburn 20
Georgia continues to give the appearance of being for real, and the possibility of certain people's suggestion for SEC Champion (Florida, Iggins!), seems dimmer and dimmer. Whereas my prediction of LSU still goin strong.

Virginia Tech 40, Florida State 21
ACC.

USC 24, Cal 17
Who'd have thunk before the season that this game would have meant nothing in relation to the PAC 10 championship or the National Championship. Not I, but I'm sure pleased as hell about it.

Wisconsin 37, Michigan 21
Now that Ohio State has been removed from national title convention, all that is needed is for the Buckeyes to win The Big Game next weekend in Ann Arbor, thus enacting the best possible, but still sucks, scenario of a national title game sans Ohio State, but no Michigan Big 10 title either.

Hawaii 37, Fresno State 30
The Colt Brennans advance one step closer to an at large BCS bid, but don't expact the Boise State heroics of last year should they make it, this team has only one viable weapon, their quarterback, and he has a tendency to melt down when on the national tv stage.

Texas 59, Texas Tech 43
I didn't see this game, but Mike Leach was fined 12,000 dollars for saying the game was rigged in favor of Texas. I trust Mike Leach, our dashing pirate captain, and hate Texas, so I agree with him. Fuck Texas. Yar!

Cincinnati 27, UConn 3
Wow, this game should not have featured a ranked team. Let alone the fact that the team that as ranked lost by 24. Cincinnati and UConn? Fuck.

Florida 51, South Carolina 31
Look, we've endorsed a few candidates lukewarmly for Heisman on this website (Colt Brennan, Andre Woodson, Rashard Mendenhall (oh, I've never said that out loud? Well I am now)), but really, there's only one person in this country who deserves the Heisman, regardless of the fact that he's a sophomore. No disrespect intended toward Dennis Dixon, but Tebow has 23 passing touchdowns and 19 rushing. Thats 41 fucking touchdowns. Against SEC defenses. He's completing 68 percent of his passes and is Florida's leading passer, rusher, and scorer. He's by far the most impressive physical specimen I've seen at quarterback that I can remember. Chuck Norris watched the Tebow last week and was heard to say "Wow, that is a MAN". Just give him the fucking trophy.

Boise State 52, Utah St. 0
Well, thats impressive.

Clemson 44, Wake Forest 10
ACC.

Mississippi St 17, Alabama 12
Nick Saban doesn't have time for this shit. He also doesn't really have that good of a football team. Way to go Mississippi State for becoming bowl eligible. Tip of the cap, sir.

Tennessee 34, Arkansas 13
Phil Fulmer vs. Houston Nutt- Two coaches universally reviled by their own fan base and college football fandom in general. Two halfwits collide, only one survives. And NO ONE CARES.

Virginia 48, Miami 0
ACC.

Kentucky 27, Vanderbilt 20
I picked Kentucky for 10 wins this year, and if they beat Georgia and Tennessee, then win a potential bowl game, they can do just that. Please do just that.

ILLINOIS 28, Ohio State 21
I've touched on this already, but in case you're wondering, no, the euphoria hasn't subsided. Yes, I will bask in this win for years. Unfortunately current bowl projections have Illinois matched up against Florida, so this wonderful season will eventually end with the permanently scarring vision of TEBOW running mercilessly through our defense, leaving [Redacted] in tears and all Illinois fans wondering whether it was worth it. In my opinion, it so, so will be.

The Top 25
1. LSU
2. Oregon
3. Kansas
4. Oklahoma
5. West Virginia
6. Missouri
7. Georgia
8. Arizona State
9. Ohio State
10. Virginia Tech
11. Florida
12. Hawaii
13. USC
14. Texas
15. Illinois
16. Clemson
17. Virginia
18. Boise State
19. Boston College
20. Kentucky
21. Tennessee
22. Wisconsin
23. Eugh. There's no one else. Just don't even look.