Look, I realize that anyone outside of Iowa/Minnesota doesn't understand this thing. In fact, you probably don't even know what it is. Well, let me tell you. This is Floyd of Fucking Rosedale. Actually, I added the fucking for emphasis but really, it should be there permanently. He started out as a real pig. Just a simple bet between Governors of states thatb hated eachother. You people have your buckets of nails, your jeweled shilelaighs (or however the fuck you spell she-lay-lee). We have this pig. This pig is the most treasured thing in all of Iowa. And right now it's in Minnesota. Fuck Minnesota. The best thing they ever did was this:
and while Atmosphere is the best thing rapping right now, it still doesn't make up for a whole state. Their football team is 1-8. They've lost to North Dakota State two years in a row. And they have our pig. I have booed my own student section when we charged the field after beating Illinois. I have booed them harder after doing the same against Michigan State (I don't care if it was 12 fuckin overtimes), but I will not when we do after this game. I will be the first damn person on the field. America won't understand.
"Why?" they'll say, " why are those Iowans charging the field after beating a 1-8 team?"
And America will think us foolish. America will think us insane. But we know. And when I run onto that field I'll run straight at Floyd, and I'll touch that hog's back, and I'll say just two words:
"You're home."
No comments:
Post a Comment