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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Lovie Smith Vows to Get Greg Olsen and Devin Hester More Involved, Ten Year Old Bears Fan Comments "No Shit, That Mighta Been Useful Four Weeks Ago."

In Halas Hall today, Coach Lovie Smith, citing the offense's complete inability to do anything competently, remarked today that he would make it a point of emphasis to get 1st round draft pick TE Greg Olsen and return man extraordinare Devin Hester more involved in the offense. Lovie obviously has thought this through, as it took him FOUR WEEKS TO DECIDE TO USE A 6'6 TIGHT END THAT RUNS A 4.5 40 AND A GUY WHO'S SCORED MORE TDS THAN THE ENTIRE OFFENSE!!! 4th Grader Alex Hanson of Lincoln Elementary School, who admittedly is in the top of his class and got the smiley face sticker award in last week's spelling bee, had the following to say : "Well, it was a move I thought we should have made in week one, but at least Lovie's finally making the smart call." When asked for his take on the matter, recently benched Bears quarterback Rex Grossman replied: "Do you assholes get it now? Fuck you all. Fuck you, fuck you. He threw three fucking interceptions. TO DETROIT! Newsflash, even I didn't give one up to those mother fuckers! Christ!" We would have reminded him of our original question involving Greg Olsen and Devin Hester, but man, he just looked angry.

I mean seriously, fuck you Chicago.

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