Killin' Time: People I Hate - Brian F*&king Griese

I'm an angry individual. People who read this site will not be surprised by this fact. On multiple occasions I've threatened all kinds of gruesome injuries upon everyone from Rick Morrissey to Todd McShay. Vitriol is what I have and I'm not afraid to use it in a meangingless blog post that will catch the eyes of maybe ten to twenty people on a good day. Hell, my most popular post, to this very day, is a a longwinded rant about Cade McNown that I penned four years ago. This is why people fear me. Some of you, however, may not understand why I hate so many people, or who I hate the most. Since it's the offseason, it's time I tie up some loose ends and explain, in detail, why the hell I hate certain people. Today I start off with public enemy number one, Brian F*&king Griese.

Why do I hate Brian F*&king Griese, let us count the reasons:

1. His stupid f*&king face:

Look at that vacant, droopy-eyed, neanderthalish gaze. That wild, untamed mess of chest hair worthy of a Greek olive merchant. A forehead so big that Shanahan used to diagram plays on it at halftime for the rest of the Broncos offense. The faint traces of unibrow that he hasn't bothered to pluck. This, folks, is one disgusting individual.

2. His total inability to push the ball down the field.
Brian Griese offered an alternative to Rex Grossman during his two years on the Bears bench, and everyone assumed, regardless of the actual information at hand, that he was some kind of Ortonian game manager who would make safe, efficient throws and allow the defense to win games. This was really just a myth that ignored Griese's own proclivity toward turning the ball over and tried to portray his lack of arm strength in a positive light. "He can't even Throw shitty pop flies like Rex can, so he's automatically better!" or something. I don't know. All I know is Brian Griese threw one deep ball in his entire Bears career, an 81 yarder to Devin Hester that required him to dip his shoulder all the way into the bowels of hell in order to get enough loft on it for it to find Devin. For the most part, however, Captain Checkdown was awesome at throwing interceptions to guys who were within his 5-15 yard comfort zone.

3. He couldn't solve the Detroit Lions. The Goddamn Detroit Lions.
The Detroit Lions are an awful waste of a franchise and managed to win just ten games in the two years that Brian Griese was a Chicago Bear. Two of those ten wins came against Griese, though. From 06-07 the Lions were 2-0 against teams with Brian Griese at starting QB and 8-21 against everyone else. Splendid. Let's look at Griese's first start as a Bear, on September 30th, 2007 in Detroit. Rex Grossman had been benched after a three interception game against the Cowboys, and dumbasses all over the world thought Griese would right the ship. Griese did the following:

34/52 (65.4%), 286 YDs, 2 TDs, 3 INTs, 5.5 YPA, 68.3 rating.

All three of Griese's interceptions came in the red zone as the Bears allowed a 13-3 fourth quarter lead to turn into a 37-27 loss. Start Kyle Orton was founded on that very evening.

But hey, it was his first start since the middle of 2005 and the guy was probably rusty. He managed to put up some decent, if misleading, statistics while going 2-1 against the Packers, Eagles, and Vikings. He even managed a nifty 90+ yard touchdown drive with no timeouts left in the final minute against Philadelphia. Kudos, Brian.

No, wait. That was all just a set up for the next nutpunch. Brian's "heroics" had gave the Bears a 3-4 record with the Lions coming into town on October 28th. Surely the Bears would notch a win and get themselves back to .500 and in the thick of the playoff race. Or....

Brian F*&king Griese would throw his fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh interceptions to the GODDAMN DETROIT LIONS. Yes, that's right, Brian followed up a 3 interception game in his first match with Detroit by throwing four more in round two at home in Soldier Field. For the season, Brian's numbers against Detroit resulted in a ghastly 3-7 TD:INT ratio, a measly 5.3 YPA, and an appalling 54.3 rating.

Maybe the Lions just had a great pass defense that year? Let's look:

2007 Lions Pass Defense: 422/602 (70.1%), 4387 yds, 32 TDs, 17 INTs, 7.1 YPA, 274.2 YPG, 96.8 rating.

If you take out Griese's 2 performances, the passer rating of Lions opponents that year goes all the way up to 102.0.

That's the Iron Curtain that stopped Brian F*&king Griese cold, folks.

3. His "Revenge":
The Bears sent Griese back to Tampa Bay after the 2007 season. Jon Gruden wanted him because he has an addiction to stockpiling mediocre quarterbacks in hopes that one of them will someday have a magical, Rich Gannon-like transformation into someone who doesn't suck. Griese had managed to overtake Jeff Garcia (no one knows how, or why) by week three when Tampa came to Soldier Field. The Bears absolutely pathetic pass rush allowed Griese to drop back 67 times without getting sacked. Griese completed barely half of those passed (38 of 67) for 407 yards, which sounds impressive until you do the math and realize that that's just 6 yards per attempt. He also threw more interceptions (3) than TDs (2) and yet the Buccaneers won the game after the Bears blew a 24-14 fourth quarter lead and gave up a field goal in OT after a Charles Tillman personal foul sustained Tampa's game winning drive. Griese then went on and talked about how much the win meant to him, like he did anything in the game that proved to the Bears that he wasn't a shitty quarterback or that they were wrong to get rid of him. Dan Orlovsky torched the Bears that year, Brian. Get over yourself.

4. He represented the end of the Bears superbowl hopes.
No, I'm not blaming Brian F*&king Griese alone for turning the 13-3, NFC Championship 2006 Bears into the 7-9, last place 2007 Chicago Bears (although they lost the tiebreaker for last place to the 7-9 Lions thanks to Brian F*&king Griese's two defeats at the hands of the Goddamn Detroit Lions), but Griese taking over for Rex Grossman meant the writing was on the wall for that team. The defense couldn't overcome the injuries it had taken, and the only hope for salvation was with a quarterback that could actually put up points consistently. Brian Griese would never be that guy.

Lots of people have asked me why I hate Brian F*&king Griese so much. He was, admittedly, nowhere near the worst QB they've had, at least according to statistics. He wasn't the total shithead or disaster that Cade McNown and Rick Mirer were. Brian F*&king Griese, however, is more than just a man. He's a symbol. He's the emblem of everything that is wrong with the "game manager" myth that's been perpetuated by morons like Trent Dilfer and every guy who loses his shit everytime Jay Cutler throws an interception. He forced me to accept that Rex Grossman had finally gone completely bust. Mostly, it was the fact that I knew from the second he took the field that I wasn't going to see a return to the Superbowl. All that matters, however, is that I hate Brian F*&king Griese, and I want you all to hate him too.

The Draft- It Didn't Suck

I wasn't able to catch much of the draft live, sadly. Only the last 10 picks or so of the 1st round and then about half of the 2nd/3rd rounds. It was interesting television, however. Especially if you watch NFL Network. If you watch ESPN, well, God have mercy on you. I left that place when we got NFLN about 4 years ago and I've never looked back. Some general observations:

- I, too, was surprised by the QB flurry at the beginning of the draft:

I think this year was one of the worst years Ever to have the top pick, and I'm disappointed in Ron Rivera that he apparently thought Cam Newton was the best there was for him to build his franchise around. I don't hate Cam for his personality or the scandal around him. Those that have read this blog for any length of time know I don't put an ounce of worth into personality. I have never, however, seen anything in Cam Newton that makes me think he's capable of running an NFL offense. Gus Malzahn's offense is as far from a pro scheme as you can possibly get. I love it as a college offense because of its ability to make the simple look incredibly complex, but the fact is it's a run-heavy spread offense based on a scheme that doesn't really have a playbook so much as a pamphlet of basic concepts. I don't think Cam will adjust to the NFL fast enough to justify a #1 pick, especially when they could have drafted someone at another position of need and used the year of low expectations to angle for a high pick again next year that might put them in position for Andrew Luck.

I don't really blame the Titans for liking Jake Locker more than Blaine Gabbert or Christian Ponder, but that still doesn't make him worth a top ten pick. I've heard excuse makers say things about the quality of his receivers but I watched Alot of Jake Locker over the last couple of years and outside of his upsets against the porous defense of Lane Kiffin's USC, he didn't put together any complete games that merit where he was taken. You can try to do little things to improve his accuracy, but I don't ever see him being the 60% passer that an NFL offense needs.

Gabbert was probably the most sensible pick of the four QBs taken, but I still don't like him much. He might make a serviceable starter someday, but I don't see why they'd spend a high pick on a guy who might put up numbers similar to the guy they already have.

Christian Ponder at #12? Really? The guy might end up being the next Chad Pennington. If that's what you want, well, low standards never hurt anybody, I guess.

-I thought Mark Ingram was a fucking steal for the Saints at 28.

-Why yes, I am already suffering from uncontrollable flop sweat at the thought of Nick Fairley and Ndamukong Suh facing off against whatever interior line combination the Bears can throw at them next year. Thanks for asking.

- I do find it odd that Detroit's next two picks were Mikel LeShoure and Titus Young. They must have forgotten that they have a god awful secondary. Then again, maybe no one will have time to throw against the Fairley/Suh duo of death.

-Character and mobility issues dropped ARMCOCK Mallett into the third round, but right into the arms of the Patriots, virtually ensuring that someday he'll be the jewel of this QB class.

And with that, onto the Bears

-Gabe Carimi was an absolutely fantastic pick. I'm beyond ecstatic that he was available at 29. Jerry Angelo apparently thought he'd be gone at 26 and nearly gave away a fourth round pick trade up and get him, but fortune intervened and he was saved from his own stupidity. Carimi will probably struggle early in pass protection, but he'll be an instant upgrade for the running game. Having seen the progress that Tice made with J'marcus Webb last year, I think he can straighten out Carimi's footwork and upgrade his pass protection before too long. This pick exceeded my wildest expectations for what is usually a draft slot full of slim pickings.

-Stephen Paea addressed the biggest need on the defense- Tommie Harris' replacement. Considering they've needed a replacement for Tommie since 2007, this was a great move. Paea benched like an animal at the combine and he was an All American and Pac 10 Defensive Player of the Year last year. I won't lie and say that I've seen Alot of him, but what I have seen is good. He can be a DT capable of drawing consistent double teams, which means good things for Peppers and Idonijie. At the very least a rotation of Paea, Melton and Anthony Adams will probably pack a greater punch than last year. Anything that can keep teams from taking away Julius Peppers is a great move.

- I don't know a damn thing about Chris Conte. God knows the draft can't go by without Lovie's requisite mid-round safety pick. The unfortunate thing about this pick isn't Conte himself. It's the fact that it probably means that Danieal Manning has made up his mind and won't sign at a price the Bears can afford. That sucks, because Danieal finally had a year worthy of his potential and the Manning-Harris-Wright rotation was pretty effective. If Danieal's gone, we've learned by now that the Bears need a never-ending supply of bodies at that position so Conte probably wasn't a bad pick. But I wish Danieal wasn't leaving.

- The fourth round pick that the Ravens wanted ended up going to the Redskins to allow the team to draft Paea, so that was probably worth it.

- Nate Enderle is a pretty decent QB to find in the 5th round. Why the hell the Bears needed a QB in the fifth round, I don't know. This was a draft thin on interiot linemen so I'm not necessarily mad that they missed out on a guard like a lot of people are, but I don't understand why Martz can't seem to sell himself on Hanie.

- I don't know a damn thing about JT Thomas either. But the Bears have had luck with later round OLB's before, so hopefully he'll add depth with Tinoisamoa, Urlacher, and Briggs all getting up there.

All in all, Carimi and Paea make this one of the better drafts the Bears have had in years. There are some people out there ranting that the Bears should have done something nonsensical and just offensive linemen, but there were just 23 offensive linemen taken total after the 3rd round. This was a top heavy draft and those would have been wasted picks. Carimi is a guy that will be ready to start (well, he'll start) right away, with Webb (who showed a lot of potential as last season went on) sliding to the left. Chris Williams is going to start somewhere, and he started to look like a pretty good run-blocker, at least, at left guard down the stretch. Omiyale will head to the bench (Thank you, Deityofyourchoice), leaving the declining skills of Kreutz and Garza as the biggest question marks, surprisingly. I'm not sure how free agency will eventually shake out, but I assume Angelo will find at least one interior lineman to throw into the competition next year. Either way, I have faith, for once, that next year's line will be better than the year before. If that line reaches the point where Cutler and Martz can actually open up the playbook this team will be a much more consistent contender. Paea upgrades the most important unit on the defense, which should keep them in the top ten range.

My "grade"? Probably an A for rounds 1 and 2, and a C for the rest. I think this draft actually improved the state of the Chicago Bears. Its sad that I have to say that, since that's the whole Point of the draft, but there have been many times in recent memory where I wouldn't have ventured out on that limb.

Go Bears.

The Offseason to End All Offseasons

After the season ended I started doing unit by unit reviews of the Bears and, knowing my proclivity toward inactivity during the offseason, figured I'd just do one every week or every other week and thus not overwork myself. I failed to manage even that. Frankly, there's something that felt absolutely pointless about writing about Kellen Davis' performance this year when there's a damn solid chance that there will be no NFL in 2011. Given the disgust I already felt over the treatment of Jay Cutler and a loss to Green Bay in the NFC title game, the enthusiasm quickly dipped well below zero. So I just gave up.

I realize this is the first time I've addressed the possibility of a lockout on here. Well, that's because I was scared shitless of the prospect. I think it's pretty obvious around here just how much time I waste on the NFL each year and I'm sure as hell not looking forward to it. It was best just to ignore the possibility as long as it could be ignored. Unfortunately, that doesn't appear to be an option anymore.

So where do we go from here? I'm really disheartened by the entire situation. There's a million meatball phrases out there that I've heard angry fans lobbying, from the whole "split da damn difference!" to "dose guyz 'r millionaires playin a KIDS GAME!" to "I don't care about millionaires vs. billionaires." Well, I suppose I'm in the last game. Both sides have valid points. Both sides have very stupid points. Fuck them.

The draft is coming up soon. Normally it would be a happy beacon of light for me in a dark offseason as it marks the halfway point to training camp. Now it just seems like a farce. I'm assuming the Bears will go for some combination of offensive and defensive linemen at the top. They need someone on the inside to compliment Peppers and they need anything that can keep Jay Cutler upright. We all know that.

I don't really have much to offer after that. I haven't been following the combines or workouts like I normally do, and even with as much college football as I watch I don't pay nearly enough attention to tell you who the best linemen are after the few big names at the top who aren't at all likely to be there at 29. My guess is Angelo will do what he did in 05 and trade down to pick up some more 2nd and 3rd round picks if at all possible. Quantity is definitely a necessity for an aging team.

That's about it for now. When the draft does come I'll be back with a full recap and everything I've managed to glean about the Bears' picks. Until then, go watch the Blackhawks. Or the Bulls. Hell, even the Cubs. Just go watch somebody who's actually playing.

In Review- The Wide Receivers

As part of my extremely prolonged and ongoing series reviewing each unit of the Bears and their performance in 2010 and my hopes for 2011, I now move onto the wide receivers.


#13 Johnny Knox-
Johnny's an extremely frustrating player. It's hard to say he's been a disappointment, as his production over the last two years has been outstanding for a guy from a small school whose mere existence on the roster came about as a throw-away in the Cutler trade. He had 960 yards receiving this year and averaged an absolutely outstanding and DeSean Jackson like 18.8 yards per catch. He's got 10 TDs in two years. He's a great return man when he gets chances.

Buuuuttt....

You know and I know, as much as I hate even debating the existence of "toughness", Johnny Knox doesn't have it. Maybe he's just not smart enough to run proper routes. Maybe he just doesn't see the ball on all of those jump balls that he never gets his head around on. Either way, I know I have to stifle the urge to strangle something cute and innocent every time I see Jay Cutler blamed for another "mindless interception" when we all know it was Johnny's fault for standing there and throwing his arms up for a flag while watching a DB wrestle the ball out of the air or cutting behind the defender on a slant. He led the league in most interceptions on passes thrown his way. Not all of that's his fault, but a good deal of it sure as hell is. Apparently it pisses off Marshall Faulk, too. Now, I'm not advocating giving up on Johnny Knox. He's a very talented and very cheap young player. Hopefully he learns from his mistakes and improves his route-running and effort. I'd be more happy, however, if the Bears found another legitimate target so Cutler doesn't find himself forcing the ball to Johnny as often.

#23 Devin Hester-
Devin is what he is. The whole "is he a #1 receiver?" debate of the last few years has been a mostly pointless exercise. He's shown great flashes of talent, but he's never really put it all together. Alot of that isn't his fault. He's not targeted very often, and his skills really are better suited to lining up in the slot in this offense. His skills as a returner are absolutely invaluable and he's a threat when he's at the line of scrimmage. I think the Bears have started to appreciate him for what he is and have shifted away from Relying on him on offense, and that's probably a good thing. He's a good piece to have to move around and cause match-up problems, but he's never going to be an every-down target. That's okay.

#80 Earl Bennett-
I love Earl Bennett. I make no secret of this fact. The Black Bobby Engram is an unstoppable third down threat and his effort is incredible. He throws great blocks and I will always remember him dragging the entire Lions' defense for 15-20 yards in the second Detroit game. That said, he's a complementary player. His speed isn't great enough to make him a consistent deep threat, and his size isn't going to cause many matchup problems in the red zone. There's just a missing piece and it sure as hell isn't

#19 Devin Aromashodu-
Someone out there is still pissed that this guy didn't get many targets this year and won't be back next year. That's fine. That guy is an idiot. Devin was a guy that benefitted from a Hester injury last year and had a couple great games that were almost entirely Jay Cutler's doing. I don't remember Devin making a single catch (outside of his snag against the Giants in the Preseason last year) where I was all that impressed. The hype was stupid and Mike Martz knew it. Even worse, Devin himself believed it and apparently acted like an entitled fuckwad when his reps got cut after his four drops in the opener. Nice thinking for a guy who had finally broken free of the practice squad. See ya.

#81 Rashied Davis-
Rashied is an excellent special teams player. He also earned his way onto the field as a receiver late in the season and responded with some pretty good play out of the slot. I'd never have him higher than #4 on the depth chart, but he's a pretty good value at this position.

So we know what the Bears are missing. I'm not trying to join the horde of idiots who spent the last two years hoping the Bears would throw away valuable picks in a go-for-broke attempt to get Anquan Boldin or be dumb enough to sign Terrell Owens. Chad Johnson may be worth a shot if the price is right (meaning a 5th round pick or lower), but somewhere in the draft or in free agency there's got to be somebody big enough to throw a damn Fade to. That's not that hard.

Chances are, if the Bears fix the offensive line, they could bring back this exact same corps and they'd do light years better next year and I'd feel silly for saying this, but sometimes the difference between a nice receiver and a great one comes down to a few missed plays in a game. I hate going with something so statistically unproveable, but watching the Superbowl I couldn't help but notice the drops by Jordy Nelson and James Jones, both of whom are talented receivers who could probably start for a lot of teams like the Bears and do pretty well. Then you saw Greg Jennings with his two touchdowns and a perfectly run seam route from Rodgers to Jennings for a huge 3rd down conversion on GB's last scoring drive and you realize that it really, really helps to have That guy. Hopefully the Bears will find him soon. Whoever he is, I don't think he's Andy Fantuz.

In Review- The Runningbacks

Earlier this week I took a look at how the quarterbacks on the Bears roster did in 2010, and what I expect for 2011. Today I tackle the runningback unit:

#22 Matt Forte- I've always been high on Matt Forte. I love the kid. Perhaps I overreacted to watching him have one really good game for Tulane against the eventual national champion LSU Tigers in 2007, or maybe my love for him is the exact inverse of my undying loathing of Cedric Benson. Maybe it's because he's a guy with an incredibly diverse skill set who causes match-up problems everywhere he goes when he's utilized properly. I think my favorite Forte play this year was in week two against Dallas when he motioned into the slot and then caught a fade for a TD. That's just not something a lot of backs can do in this league.

The problem early on this year was that Mike Martz viewed him as more of a receiver than a runner, and he's actually quite good at both. In the second half Matt exploded for 668 yards rushing on 133 attempts, good for a sparkling 5.0 YPC average. In the two playoff games he averaged 147 yards from scrimmage. For the year he finished with 1,069 YDs, a 4.5 YPC average, and 6 TDs on the ground to go with 51 catches, 547 yards, and 3 TDs through the air. In his Bears career now he's averaged almost 1600 yds from scrimmage and 8 total TDs a year. He's not exactly Marshall Faulk yet, but what he showed in the second half may mean he's a lot closer than people think. As I've said with Cutler, the Bears are a few key pieces on the offensive line away from having a very explosive offense, and Matt Forte is a lynchpin. He's got one year left on his deal, but I'd be shocked if he doesn't get an extension as soon as the labor situation stabilizes.

#29 Chester Taylor- Every time I saw Chester Taylor get tackled in the backfield this year, I thought to myself "okay, that can't be his fault Every time, right?" But it's impossible to deny the fact that Matt Forte made Taylor look old and useless by gaining literally twice as many yards per carry over the second half as Taylor gained this season (2.4). In fact, Chester had the worst ypc average of any runningback with 100 or more carries since the NFL merger. That's bad. Not surprising, though, given that Taylor is past the dreaded Age 30 Wall that stops most runningbacks and he ranked dead last in the NFL last year in Pro Football Focus's elusive rankings, meaning, among other things, he had a ton of runs for no gain and he was terrible at gaining yards after contact. My hope, honestly, is that they cut Taylor this offseason. I'm aware that he signed a four year, 12 million dollar contract, but it was a front-loaded deal and he made seven million of it this year. I'm sure he'd "improve" next year, given that it would be hard to do much worse, but there's no way he'd improve enough to be better than a younger, cheaper replacement. If he comes back, well, I'll continue to swear every time he's on screen.

#25 Garrett Wolfe-
Garrett has managed to totally justify the 3rd round pick that Jerry Angelo spent on him in 2007 by racking up a whopping 411 yards from yards from scrimmage in four seasons. Guh. He is, however, a great special teams player, but I doubt that will be enough to justify keeping him as an RFA this season. The Bears can't afford to pay all of their special-teams players the veteran minimum, and I doubt Garrett will be a guy they deem worth the money, although I suppose Jerry has found away to keep this disappointment on the roster for four years as it is. But hey, it's not like the Bears could have used that pick on actually useful back up runningback or an outstanding left tackle, or anything.

#32 Kahlil Bell- Remember this guy? He had a 72 yard run against the Eagles last year. On his other 39 carries he gained just 148 yards, at a 3.8 ypc clip. This year he was inactive for all 16 games. I doubt we'll see him again.

This is one position where I hope we'll see a lot of turnover outside of Matt. I wouldn't be surprised to see three new guys behind Forte next year. Although I suppose it's more likely that Taylor's contract will bring him back again, I wouldn't expect much of anything from him. At the very least I hope the Bears can find a suitable third option that isn't Garrett Wolfe.

In Review- The Quarterbacks

Now that a week has passed in which I have largely managed to stifle my anger and have allowed cooler heads to prevail in the Cutler debate, it's time to look back at the 2010 Bears and wonder what the hell they might look like in 2011. Today I start with the most important position on the field, and I'll eventually work my way through the runningbacks, wideouts and tight ends, offensive line, defensive line, linebackers, secondary, special teams, and the coaches. Most of you won't read me again until you start to get bored come training camp time in July, so I'm just going to take as much time as I want on this.

#6 Jay Cutler- My opinion on Jay Cutler is well known and oft-stated, and I think I elaborated my points pretty well in my last piece as to just how good Jay did this year behind an extremely porous offensive line. In his last 19 starts as a Bear (including playoffs) Cutler is 13-6 with a completion % of 60, 33 TD passes, 220 ypg, and a 90 rating. Those aren't elite numbers, but they're very good, and damn near incredible considering the talent around him.

A large part of the negative impression people have of Cutler still stems from a 10 game stretch last year when the entire Bear organization nearly fell apart, not just Jay. Following the Bears 3-1 start in 2009, and before their 2-0 finish, they went 2-8 and Jay had an 11:20 TD:INT ratio and a passer rating of 64.5. During that time period the Bears allowed 45 points to the Bengals, 41 to the Cardinals, 36 to the Vikings, and 31 to the Ravens in several blowout losses, the team averaged just 87 rush yards per game, and Cutler was sacked 23 times. I think Cutler has borne the brunt of the blame for a shitty, shitty, God awful football team for far too long in that case.

If you look at Cutler's numbers in his other 58 games as a starter his numbers look like this:

62% Completions, 93 TDs, 59 INTs, 7.4 YPA, 88.1 rating.

I'm not excusing the terrible play during those 10 games, but when you separate that 10 game stretch from the rest of his career, he's a pretty good player. Why people choose to regard those 10 games as the norm, rather than the exception, well, we all know, and it's the kind of sheep mentality that chooses to a hate a guy based on his pouty face and a media misconception and it results in an overwhelming majority of idiots apparently finding a sulky guy to be less likeable than a guy accused of multiple rapes and a convicted dog-killer.

Is Jay Cutler perfect? God no. Not even close. He still throws too God damned many interceptions, especially in the red zone. His accuracy comes and goes depending on whether or not he can set his feet and get into a rhythm. He has a tendency to start slow.

The main thing about Jay Cutler is that I don't see anything negative about him that isn't fixable if he's given all of the things that most great quarterbacks have always had. He needs an offensive line that actually allows him to set his feet in the pocket. Everybody loves to jump on Jay for throwing off of his back foot, but he actually is pretty good at that. He'd do it less if he actually had Time to set his feet, though. He needs another year in the same system. He's had four different coordinators in five years in the NFL. He needs a wide receiver that can actually go up and fight for a jump ball once or twice. Get him those (or really just the first one) and I guarantee you'll see Jay in the playoffs more often than not.

#12 Caleb Hanie- I like Caleb. I always have. Including his work against the Packers, he finished the year 18/27 for 208 YDs, 1 TD, 2 INT, a 66 comp.% and a 71.2 rating. Not bad work for a guy getting scout team reps. Generally, when the Bears are scraping "prospects" at QB out of the undrafted FA pile, they get noodle-armed "winners" like Shane Matthews and Chris Leak. Caleb was actually a guy with a big arm, big body, good mobility, and a great completion% who went to a really shitty school and had a terrible winning %. Fortunately your won-loss record doesn't carry over into the NFL, regardless of what Cutler critics would have you believe, and Caleb has turned out to be a very good prospect. I think Jerry and Lovie has always had faith in him, and they were pretty confident both last year and this year going with him as the #2. That's to their credit.

What isn't to their credit is allowing Mike Martz and his precious need for a "system" guy to cloud them into thinking that Todd Collins knowledge of the playbook outweighed his total inability to complete a forward pass. Caleb is a restricted free agent, but I don't see anybody matching the Bears if they put a half-decent offer on the table. Given time, Caleb could turn out to be a Schaub-type guy that the Bears could parlay into draft picks. Most of all, though, he's a guy that could turn into a pretty good quarterback, and they need as many of those as they can get.

#10 Todd Collins- Good lord. If you look at Todd Collins career, it's pretty obvious that the best part was the nine year stretch where he didn't start a game. How unfortunate it is for all of us that the best 3 games of his life came in 2007 and extended his career another three seasons. You never should have left your clipboard, Todd.

Everything about the Todd Collins experience in 2010 was awful. His stupid stat-padding performance against the practice squad of the Cleveland Browns in the fourth preaseason game that apparently gave Martz all the ammo he needed to drop Caleb down to #3. The fact that Mike Martz refused to believe he didn't suck. The fact that the Giants knocked Todd out of the game after he replaced Jay but Didn't hurt him enough to keep him from starting the Panthers game. The whole 6-completions-to-the-Bears-4-completions-to-the-Panthers thing. He was absolutely the most wretchedly ineffective quarterback that I've seen since Jonathan Quinn. Actually, by the numbers, he was much worse. Try wrapping your head around that. In a year in which the Bears were SUPERBOWL CONTENDERS they had a guy that was worse than Jonathan Quinn first in line to take the snaps if Jay went down. Guh. Martz's love of Collins should be evidence why, despite his undeniable acumen as an offensive mind and a pretty good won-loss record, Mike Martz is no longer head coach of the Rams. Shocking that a roster that he once had so much control over averaged 12 losses a year in the last six years before now. Never let him make personnel decisions again. Ever.

So what's next for this unit? Obviously Cutler will be back, and I expect him to have a breakout year if the protection is finally adequate. I think they'll tender Hanie, and I don't expect anybody to try to top them or to risk even a low draft pick for him, so he should be back as well. Todd Collins should be shot on sight if he tries to re-enter Halas Hall. For the third QB next year I wouldn't really be shocked to see the team throw another 6th or 7th round drift pick at a halfway-intriguing prospect as a gift to Martz. Either way, I think we'll see Cutler and Hanie back at the top next year.

Who is Jay Cutler?

That's the question that gasbag Rick Reilly asked last week, and damned if it doesn't appear to have been one of the more successful hack jobs in a long line of them aimed at bringing down Jay Cutler. What I've seen in the last 24 hours has absolutely sickened me. That's the only way I can express it. I'm actually sickened by what I have seen with regard to this whole situation.

From the NFL players taking shots at Cutler on twitter (What's that, Maurice Jones Drew? Cutler should have played with a knee injury in a big game? Where the f&%k were you when the Jaguars had a playoff spot in the line in Week 16 and 17? How the f%&k do you know that Cutler's knee didn't start out right where yours ended up when you had to take a seat?), to the usual talking heads spouting off like always (Trent Dilfer of course, stated that when he had an MCL injury he couldn't stand. That was meant to point out that Jay must be faking, since he tried playing, but it really makes Jay Cutler look all that much tougher than Trent F*&king Dilfer, since we know now the injury was real), to the meatheads raging and acting like general disgraces to the human race. I'm addressing that last one to the troglodytes that posted videos and pictures of themselves as they burned Jay Cutler's jersey. Burning jerseys? Really? What's the next step? Book burning? Lynch mobs? Burning in effigy? Are we protesting Jay's Treaty? Have we really regressed this much as a species and as a civilization? I hope those people don't have children.

All of this revolves around the question that Rick Reilly asked, sadly. Who is Jay Cutler? How many people actually know him? Not many, obviously. I'd argue that his teammates know him, and they've all rallied around him and have vociferously defended him. The sad part is the people like Reilly who claim they want to know him, or that they want to give him a chance to defend himself. Fuck that. They want him to trip into the hole they dug for him and then castigate him for it. This is what happened last night. They've set up everything in a nice little row until an incident occurred that could be easily miscast by a public that already had the gavel floating, awaiting anything that would allow them to slam it down and yell "GUILTY!" Like a wrongfully executed man on death row, the evidence that has come after the fact won't fix the damage that's been done.

So Jay Cutler really was hurt. Sure, it may have been an MCL tear, one that normally takes 3-4 weeks to heal, but Player X once played with (insert completely unrelated injury), why can't Jay?

So Jay Cutler didn't pull himself, it was the coaches. Why didn't he launch into some sideline theater like the warrior Jim McMahon did when he fought his way back into a game in 1985 (McMahon, who made just 61 of 104 possible starts during his Bears career and missed parts or all of the 1984, 1986, 1987, and 1988 playoffs, is a great example I've heard tossed around)?

So Jay Cutler actually did try to lobby with the coaches, take a shot, and forced his way back into the game? Well why didn't he do more on the sidelines?

So his teammates and coaches all stand by him and think he did everything he could? Too bad, he quit on them according to the people at home.

And so on it goes. Nothing will change it, although I have been heartened by the people I have seen stepping in to defend him today. The fact of the matter is nothing will stop the Rick Reillys of the world. Cutler has been condemned in the court of public opinion. Hopefully he'll continue to shrug that off as he has his entire career.

So who do I think Jay Cutler is? I think he's a guy that's done as well as quarterback of the Chicago Bears as he can. If you think that's ridiculous, look at the guy who came before him. I mean that, too. You want to compare Jay Cutler to Kyle Orton? How about you compare them when they had the same level of talent around them? Compare Cutler's numbers in Denver to Kyle Orton's numbers in Denver. Jay has the same passer rating, a higher completion %, a higher touchdown %, a higher YPA. You want to look at Jay Cutler as a Bear vs. Kyle Orton as a Bear:

Orton: 55.3% Completion, 30 touchdowns, 27 INTS, 5.8 YPA, 161.2 YPG, 71.1 Rating
Cutler: 60.5% Completion, 50 touchdowns, 42 INTS, 7.0 YPA, 223.9 YPG, 80.9 Rating.

And that's including a terrible year by Cutler last year, one completely out of line with the numbers he's posted in 4 of his 5 years as a pro. Cutler's light years better.

Hell, in his last 19 games including the playoffs the guy is 13-6 with 33 touchdown passes. I'll take that. He took a team that nearly every prognosticator had buried at the bottom of the division all the way to the NFL's final four. Nothing is good enough, though. I guess Chicago is just too used to elite quarterback play to accept what Jay has done for them.

When I look at Jay Cutler I see a guy who lined up behind a left tackle that was a back up for the f*&king Panthers and had already failed at left guard and right tackle, a left guard that was a failed draft pick with a bad back who already busted out at his first position of left tackle and had to slide over midseason to play a position he hadn't played since his freshman year of college, a center that's been in the NFL for 13 years and has been in rapid decline for the last few years, a guard in Roberto Garza who is also old and required a midseason knee surgery just to stay in the lineup, and finally a 7th round draft pick rookie at left tackle who spent his college years at a Division II school because he wasn't smart enough to meet the rigorous academic standards at Texas.

At wide receiver Jay Cutler has thrown to a guy who is a converted DB and kick returner, a 5th round draft pick from Abilene Christian, a 3rd round pick from Vanderbilt who couldn't even get on the field his rookie year thanks to an inability to learn the playbook (I'm sure he had no trouble digesting the routes in Martz's scheme this year), and a cult hero in Devin Aromashodu who hasn't yet found a practice squad he couldn't make.

At tight end he's got a first round draft pick that can't even get on the field half of the time thanks to his oft-maligned blocking skills and his frequent drops.

Matt Forte had a great year this year but was injured last year and nearly lost his job to Chester Taylor, a guy who gave Cutler a lot of help by amassing the lowest YPC average of any runningback with 100 carries since the NFL merger in 1970.

Cutler's had two incredibly stubborn and erratic offensive coordinators in two years in Ron Turner and Mike Martz, and he's had to carry the load for both thanks to a run game that either didn't work (last year) or was largely ignored (the first half of this year).

So what's Jay Cutler done in that time? He's carried his team to an NFC Championship game, averaged 3500 yards and 25 touchdown passes (both firsts for a Bears QB over a two year period), posted the highest career passer rating in Bears history (despite posting his Lowest career passer rating last year), highest career completion %, and is top five in every other category you want to look at.

What's his reward? He gets his toughness and his leadership questioned in the middle of all the hell he's been through. The man has taken 87 sacks in two years, by far the most of any QB in that time period. Twice I've seen him bleeding from the chin in games following bone-jarring hits. He went back into both games. He took an NFL record for sacks in a half against the Giants and suffered a concussion that guys like Chris Collinsworth actually tried to blame him for. Never has he succumbed to the temptation to throw his linemen under the bus like a certain field general in Indianapolis and his "protection issues." Hell, he plays every game with type 1 diabetes, gets his blood sugar checked every time he goes to the sideline, and doesn't receive the lionization that the same condition rightfully earned Chicago legend Ron Santo. Brian Urlacher called him the toughest player on the Bears, and that guy doesn't throw a title like that around lightly.

I take that all into account, plus the news of the MRI results and the severity of the injury, and I'm even more sickened by what took place yesterday. For everyone out there still quoting Rick Reilly, I have an answer to the question of who Jay Cutler is: He's a damn good quarterback, and you're an idiot. Book it.

This Hurts

This is a tough loss. It's a damn painful loss. I don't remember ever seeing a game in which so much went so wrong for the Bears and yet they stayed so close till the bitter end. I have to congratulate the 2010 Chicago Bears. I really do. I had them at 11-5 before the year and would have been okay with the knowledge that they would bow out in the NFC title game. Of course, in this situation it's hard to see the positives. So many missed plays, missed opportunities. An absolutely piss poor gameplan.Why wait till Hanie is in to switch to the gun? Why try an end-around on 3rd and four with a hot Hanie? Why was Todd Collins Ever the #2 quarterback for a playoff contender?

Those are the things that will keep me up for awhile. I know already that I'll spend months defending Jay Cutler even more than usual. What I know about Jay Cutler is that I've seen him take 87 sacks in two years. I've seen him twice get hit in the chin so hard that it left him bleeding and he came back into both games with stitches. I've seen him refuse to slide multiple times. I've seen him do this:


So no. I don't think he lacks toughness, and as usual I find the brayings of a bunch of asses sitting at home on their couches to be absolutely ridiculous. If the Bears ever get Jay the protection up front that he deserves, well, he'll answer his critics resoundingly. But I fear that's a long way aways. The sad part is that I think Jay Cutler played a very poor first half this game. I really do. I think it would be fair for people to question his accuracy or decision making, but alas, take the lowest possible reason you can find to criticize someone and they'll do it every time. It's sad. Very sad.

As for the rest of the team? Well, there were some players out there who did some really great things today. Brian Urlacher shrugged off a few early series and some bad missed tackles to come back and have a monster game, although I just can't see how the hell he managed to get tackle by Aaron Rodgers on what should have been a pick six. I just can't. Matt Forte was the Bears only offense for most of the game. Caleb Hanie nearly pulled off the impossible and threw a damning wrench into my respect for Lovie Smith by forcing me to ask why the hell Todd Collins was still #2 on the depth chart after the way he played earlier this year.

Obviously there was plenty of bad. The offensive line got manhandled on the interior. I love Olin Kreutz. I really do, but the statement no one wanted to make all year is that many of the problems the Bears had on the line were his fault. Pressuring the QB consistently starts with a good push by your defensive tackles, and teams have done that against Kreutz all year long. He struggled mightily against BJ Raji and Cullen Jenkins. He had his moments, and he's certainly been in slow decline. I wouldn't even be opposed to bringing him back next year, so long as his replacement is on the roster. That goes for Roberto Garza as well. Chris Williams played well at guard as the year went on. Omiyale and Webb actually played well enough to at least compete to keep their jobs next year. But Garza and Kreutz are on thin ice. Greg Olsen also disappeared in this game, but I have to question whether that was his fault, Martz's fault, or just the lack of a QB to throw to him.

On the defense, well, Tommie Harris and the rest of the defensive tackles really disappeared early. The Packers actually ran the ball well early on and that allowed Rodgers his early success. Julius Peppers had a few pressures and played well in spots, but was also neutralized more than I would have hoped. It's hard to bitch when the Bears gave up just 14 offensive points to the Packers and really held Rodgers to some miserable numbers, but this was still a team loss.

I'd really like to throw the coaching staff under the bus, here. The Bears actually played outside of themselves on defense early on. They stacked the box and over-committed to stopping the run. That doesn't make a fucking load of sense. Green Bay hasn't run the ball well all year long. You line up in your usual defense, assume that you can make a few plays and you focus on stopping Aaron Rodgers. You don't overreact to a few early runs and allow it to shake you. They gave up the big play on those two TD drives and it hurt them big. That isn't their game.

As for Mike Martz, well...this one hurt. Martz appeared to attempt to run the exact same game plan against Green Bay this week that he ran in week 17. Apparently the fact that they scored just 3 points was lost on him. Why he refused to move Cutler out from under center really puzzles me. During the Jets game, Cutler took some shots early, threw a pick six, and was really out of rhythm. Rather than back away, Martz put Jay in the gun, threw early, got him going, kept him from those hits, and they crawled back into the game. Today Martz waited until Hanie was in the game before resorting to the gun. He also didn't attempt to roll Cutler out or do any of the things that had brought them success against defenses of this sort before. He didn't go away from the run, which was nice, but his approach to the passing game was erratic. And that end-around. They had to call a timeout for that? How about throwing the slant to Earl Bennett on that play, since he was uncovered at the line of scrimmage? Or how about running the ball with Forte, since they had struggled to stop him in the second half. A reverse is a low % play with a very, very big chance of ending up with negative yardage. That was the dumbest call of the year for Martz. Without a doubt.

The people who though the Bears would go 5-11 this year are already coming out of the woodwork, as though the Bears suddenly morphed into a bad team with a 7 point injury-plagued loss in the NFC Championship game. Oh well. I know this offseason is going to be long and miserable. I'm prepared for it. Hopefully the Bears will make the right moves they need to get an offense that can actually carry the defense some times and to get the depth they need for an aging defense. Hopefully they'll be right back here next year. But damn, September is a long ways away.

As for Green Bay, I naturally hope that Pittsburgh fucking destroys them, but I'm still impressed with what they've done. Congratulations, even if I say it through clenched teeth.

Go Bears, but damn, this hurts.

Packers 21, Bears 14

That's it for the 2010 Bears. You'll understand if I'm not ready yet to write the post-mortem. I have no idea what just happened there. Too much to process. I'll get to you all tomorrow.

Divisional Weekend Round Up

Steelers 31, Ravens 24
These two teams really are mirror images of each other. In fact, I'd even say that Baltimore's offensive line is much better. They play each other within one score nearly every single time they meet. So how does Pittsburgh keep winning? The fact that most of the games are In Pittsburgh helps, but frankly it seems like Baltimore just can't shake their perpetual little brother image, no matter how much they gloat and blather about hating Pittsburgh. Good luck next year, guys.

Packers 48, Falcons 21
Let me begin by stating that the Green Bay Packers have an amazing football team, one that I knew going in would most likely be coming to Chicago for the NFC Championship game. Aaron Rodgers played like he's capable of playing and it's only fitting that the team to represent the NFC in the Superbowl will have to be the last man standing in the oldest rivalry in the sport. I'm not one for smack-talk before the game, so I'll merely leave it be, hope Sunday hurries the fuck up, and hope the Bears take care of business like they did the last time Green Bay came to Soldier Field.

That said, I'm going to devote a little bit of time to why Atlanta was embarrassed the way they were. All year long Atlanta reminded me of the 2003 Chiefs or, to a lesser extent, the 2001 Bears. Both were 13-3 teams with homefield advantage that bowed out in a big way in their first playoff games. Both benefited from favorable schedules, close wins, and an abundance of turnovers despite a defense that, yardage wise, was not particularly intimidating. The Falcons had the NFL's 16th ranked defense, yardage wise, but were 23rd against the pass, allowed 23 TD passes, and also allowed 4.6 yards per rush. They had a respectable 31 sacks, but outside of John Abraham's 13, no one else had more than 4.0. That's indicative of a team that relies on the blitz to create pressure, and those teams generally fail in the playoffs.

The main reason Atlanta's scoring defense was so respectable was due to their 31 turnovers, but with a defensive line that didn't generate that much pressure and a secondary that was less than outstanding, that would seem to be the product of an abundance of luck rather than any great talent on D. Those 2003 Chiefs had 37 turnovers, which allowed them to win games despite their 29th ranked defense. They also bowed out in their first playoff game against the Colts. The 2001 Bears also thrived on turnovers, as they were 15th in yardage, relied on the blitz, and had 37 turnovers. Philly destroyed them 33-19. Teams that rely on the blitz and a feast or famine defense with regard to turnovers generally can't stop a guy like Rodgers who can recognize and avoid the blitz and won't turn the ball over. Throw in the fact that, like I pointed out before, Matt Ryan averaged just 6.5 yards per attempt and isn't the kind of quarterback that's going to win a shootout, especially against that secondary. And that will close the book on the 2010 Atlanta Falcons.

Jets 28, Patriots 21
All it took was one game of Tom Brady playing like a mortal for the Patriots' porous defense to sabotage their championship hope. The Jets controlled the clock, kept Mark Sanchez out of trouble, and the Patriots were more than happy to throw in some stupid turnovers and mental errors to help out. Great win by the Jets. The field is wide open now, boys.

Bears 35, Seattle 24- Armageddon Cometh

The Bears absolutely dominated the Seattle Seahawks in all three phases today, as they racked up 35 points and a 440-276 edge yardage wise, with all three Seattle touchdowns coming late in the fourth quarter after Chicago had a 25 point lead well in hand. With the win, the Bears set up the most terrifying/exciting match up possible as they bring Green Bay to Soldier Field next weekend. I'll do my best not to worry about that till later. For now I'll just savor the most impressive playoff win (despite a few late game shenanigans that were irritating if irrelevant) in recent Bears memory, and get on with the breakdown:

THE GOOD:

So many candidates. Let's just go down the list-

Jay Cutler: This team will go as far in this tournament as he can take them, and if he plays like he did today, I'll get fitted for my Super Bowl ring quick. His accuracy was a bit off during the first-half blizzard, but he still finished 15/28 for 274 YDs, 2 TDs, 0 INTs and an absolutely bonerific passer rating of 111.3. He was also a huge factor on the ground, with 8 rushes for 43 yards and two fist-pumping touchdowns. I don't care if Rick Reilly thinks he's the most hated player in the NFL, I love him like no other.

Matt Forte: Nothing came easy for Matt on the ground today, as he ground out 80 yards on 25 carries at 3.2 a clip, but the Seahawks clearly geared their gameplan around stopping him and it opened up alot for the passing game. Matt also added 54 yards through the air, and while his halfback option interception was mindboggling and irritating on all fronts, I'll give him credit for doing a damn good job as a Runningback today.

Greg Olsen: Olsen set a career high with 113 yards receiving, including 58 yards and a TD on the Bears first pass of the game. Mike Martz sent a message today that teams will have to account for #82 on every down, and that's gotta scare the Packers.

The Offensive Line: They gave up three sacks, yes, but two of those were 3rd down coverage sacks where Jay was merely trying to extend the play. On every other dropback Jay had today, he had all the time he needed to look downfield and decide to throw it or run it. They're a 1,000 miles from where they were earlier this year, and Seattle has a good pass rush between Clemons and Brock. Great effort today, guys. This one can be put on your backs most of all. Keeping Cutler clean and paving the way for 176 yards rushing? Excellent.

The Secondary: I'm just going to ignore the last two Seattle touchdowns when the prevent was clearly on and the foot was sadly off the pedal. For most of the game the Bears held Matt Hasselbeck to absolutely nothing, and he still finished the game averaging just 5.6 YPA. Mike Williams finished with just 4 catches and 15 yards after wearing Tillman like a hat all day.

Tommie Harris: Tommie showed up and got two sacks while also being a big part of holding the Seahawks to just 34 yards on the ground (9 fewer yards than Jay Cutler gained).

Everybody else on defense: The Bears had held Seattle to under 150 yards well into the fourth quarter before the last two meaningless Seattle TD's. Marinelli and Urlacher both looked like they wanted to punch a pack of orphans after both of those TDs, so I doubt we can expect any further lapses in intensity.

Mike Martz: the HB pass by Forte was absolutely idiotic, but Martz can't be blamed for that entirely, since he bitched out Forte for not following the golden rule on those plays and throwing the ball away when his first read was covered. Outside of that he dialed up a number of looks that he hadn't showed all year, with some new plays for Olsen that clearly took Seattle off guard as well some wildcat plays that were pretty productive. Nice job, Mike.

The Bad:

Well, those two meaningless touchdowns kinda pissed me off, but only because my inner meathead wanted a shutout. I'm sure as hell not going to bitch on a day like today.

Now it's time to watch New England and try to ignore the pounding of my heart, which is unlikely to survive the next week win or lose.

Go Bears. Green Bay Sucks.

Not Surprisingly, The Playoffs Take a Back Seat to Hating Jay Cutler

The Bears' usual Wednesday presser sent the interwebs a buzzing with tweets by Zach Zaidman, Brad Biggs, SK Jensen and other Bears regulars complaining about national media members like Rick Reilly showing up and asking a ton of questions about Jay Cutler and his personality. A few takes on this can be found at the following:

David Haugh apparently enjoyed Reilly's prodding and blames Jay for not indulging the asshat.

The guys from FoxChicago interviewed Reilly afterward and he gave them a bunch of unfunny jokes ("he looks like he's wearing sandpaper underwear!") that he would re-use in his column.

Reilly pissed off Greg Olsen, who blamed the media for judging a guy most of them have never met.

Rick F*&king Morrissey of all people made the most sense, saying: "In the end, though, if it’s a choice between a nice quarterback who doesn’t win and a dour one who does win, we’ll take dour every time. What is it Al Davis says? Just win, baby. That’s all."

So today Reilly's column went up and it's a real doozy. While he defends Cutler to an extent by remarking how well he's played despite his poor offensive line and by noting his largely unheralded (because Cutler wants it that way since he thinks even good media coverage is pointless, and I don't blame him) charity work, the rest is filled with garbage:

"For a man from Santa Claus, Ind., Jay Cutler is one of the least jolly people you've ever met."

Har har.

"It's hard to say what interests Cutler, but it's definitely not you."

This is really what irks the media the most about Cutler. He doesn't give a shit what they think of him. Not in the slightest. For an industy filled with guys who'd love nothing more than for people to equate them in importance to the jocks they cover, the complete lack of power they have over Cutler is extremely frustrating.

"Once, during his rookie year in Denver, 45 minutes before a game, future Hall of Fame safety John Lynch was trying to explain something to Cutler about NFL pass coverage.

Except Cutler wasn't looking at Lynch. He was texting.

"Man, I'm trying to talk to you!" Lynch protested.

Didn't help. Cutler was all thumbs, head down. Finally, Lynch slapped the phone out of Cutler's hands, smashing it to the floor.

He listened after that."

Ahh, so the guy that broke Jay Cutler's phone isn't the asshole. Cutler is. For not listening to a guy who isn't his position coach, his offensive coordinator, or a coach of any sort. John Lynch is a defensive player. I understand logic would dictate he'd understand coverages, but he also doesn't know how to play quarterback. This may have been slightly dickish, but it was hardly any worse for Cutler not to listen than it was for Lynch to break the phone.

"One time, Broncos coach Mike Shanahan thought it would be helpful for Cutler and Broncos legend John Elway to have lunch. Let Cutler drink in some of Elway's experience.
The three of them sat down at a Denver steak joint. Elway, polite as ever, tried to impart some wisdom. Except Cutler wasn't looking at Elway. He wasn't looking at Shanahan, either. He was looking at the TV. The whole time. With his baseball cap on backward. All the way through dessert. Elway did not leave impressed."

I don't care what John Elway thinks of Cutler or any other quarterback. John Elway just got fooled and lost 15 million dollars in a Ponzi scheme. John Elway relied on his athleticism and posted mediocre numbers for the first decade and a half of his career before Shanahan arrived. I'm 98.9% positive he'll be a complete failure as an executive. Nothing about Elway merely playing quarterback means he really is qualified to really offer Cutler advice. I hate franchises that think they need to pander to former players.

Also, both of these stories, I'm sure, come straight from Elway and Lynch's mouths. Lynch may have been trying to paint the story of the time he broke Cutler's phone in a light that doesn't make him look like an asshole that just broke somebody's cell phone. Elway is now an executive for the organization that booted Cutler before setting themselves on fire. He has a very good motive for making Cutler look unappealing to his fanbase. Forgive me if I'm not buying.

"He's an arrogant little punk," former Broncos radio color man, Scott Hastings, once said on a national show. "He's a little bitch."

Imagine that, another Broncos employee. Where were these people Before Cutler got traded, by the way? They couldn't possibly only be saying this now because they look bad for getting rid of him, right?

There's plenty more where that trash came from. Go and read it yourselves if you like. Sad that this is the shit the media chooses to cover in the middle of the goddamn NFL playoffs.

Bears vs. Seahawks, the Statbook

Record
Bears: 11-5
Seahawks: 7-9

Offense:
Points Scored
Bears: 334 (20.9 PPG)
Seahawks: 310 (19.4 PPG)

Total Offense:
Bears: 289.4 YPG (30th in the NFL)
Seahawks: 297.8 YPG (28th in the NFL)

Pass Offense:
Bears: 188.4 YPG (28th in the NFL)
Seahawks: 208.8 YPG(19th in the NFL)

Rush Offense:
Bears: 101 YPG (22nd in the NFL)
Seahawks: 89 YPG (31st in the NFL)

Passing TDs:
Bears: 23 (20th in the NFL)
Seahawks: 14 (28th in the NFL)

Rushing TDs:
Bears: 10 (21st in the NFL)
Seahawks: 13 (12th in the NFL)

Defense:
Points Allowed:
Bears: 286 (17.9 PPG)
Seahawks: 407 (25.4 PPG)

Total Defense:
Bears: 314.3 (9th in the NFL)
Seahawks: 368.6 (27th in the NFL)

Pass Defense:
Bears: 224.3 YPG (20th in the NFL)
Seahawks: 249.6 YPG (27th in the NFL)

Rush Defense
Bears: 90.1 YPG (2nd in the NFL)
Seahawks: 118.9 YPG (21st in the NFL)

Passing TDs Allowed:
Bears: 14 (2nd in the NFL)
Seahawks: 31 (29th in the NFL)

Interceptions:
Bears: 21 (5th in the NFL)
Seahawks: 12 (25th in the NFL)

Turnover Differential:
Bears: +4 (11th in the NFL, 31 Turnovers, 35 Takeaways)
Seahawks: -9 (27th in the NFL, 31 Turnovers, 22 Takeaways)

Individual Leaders:
Passing:
Chicago: Jay Cutler- 261/432 (60.4%), 3274 yds, 23 TDs, 16 INTs, 86.3 Rating, 7.6 YPA, 218.3 YPG
Seattle: Matt Hasselbeck- 266/444 (59.9%), 3001 yds, 12 TDs, 17 INTs, 73.2 Rating, 6.8 YPA, 214.4 YPG

Rushing:
Chicago: Matt Forte- 237 attempts, 1069 yds, 6 TDs, 4.5 YPA, 66.8 YPG
Seattle: Marshawn Lynch- 165 attempts, 573 yds, 6 TDs, 3.5 YPA, 47.8 YPG

Receiving:
Chicago: Johnny Knox- 51 catches, 960 yds, 5 TDs, 18.8 YPC, 64.0 YPG
Seattle: Mike Williams-65 catches, 751 yds, 2 TDs, 11.6 YPC, 57.8 YPG

So there you have it. The Bears have a significant edge in nearly every statistical category. Obviously that adds up to nothing in the playoffs (ask the Saints), but it should tell you each team's general strengths and weaknesses and what to look for. If I may make excuses for the Bears, I'd like to mention how their numbers on offense are dragged down by A) Using five different offensive line combinations before the bye and B) Six full quarters of Todd Collins in which the Bears managed 0 passing touchdowns, five interceptions, and only 110 and 247 uards offense. Since the bye week, the Bears offense has been much more respectable, averaging 23 PPG (28 PPG in their seven wins since that time). I'd add that their starting position, thanks to Dave Toub's awesome special teams and a plethora of takeaways, is the best in the NFL and thus their yardage numbers are hurt somewhat in a good way. Their turnover differential, minus Todd Collins, is +9, which would put them at 5th in the NFL.

My prediction? I think Seattle will have a very difficult time running the ball and I don't think the Bears will be susceptible to the big plays that doomed the Saints. I'd expect Seattle to regress to the mean and the Bears to win the turnover battle. I'm aware the Seahawks won in Chicago earlier this year, but we can all agree that Bears team barely resembles this one and was also missing Lance Briggs, a key component of the Cover 2. Also, Seattle went just 1-6 in their other seven road games, with a win over the lowly Cardinals. I think Seattle is vulnerable against the run, something the Saints failed to exploit due to their devastated depth at runningback and having to play from behind in the second half. I'd say 27-14 Bears, with Matt Forte's performance being the key on offense.

Bring on...the Seahawks?

What an interesting weekend of football this was. If you saw a Bears-Seahawks rematch coming, you're a ballsier man than I. Let's see what happened:

Seahawks 41, Saints 36
The Saints' defense had had it's ups and downs all year, but it was hard to see this coming. Their secondary just fell apart. I haven't seen so many blown coverages since Thomas Smith was still wearing a Bears uniform. They're going to have to work hard this year to upgrade a very old defense and get some kind of pass rush going. If they're going to play the 4-3 they can't constantly rely on the blitz for all of their pressure. As for the Seahawks? Well, I'd have to believe the Bears are a much better and smarter team than the one that lost 23-20 earlier this year while Mike Martz continued to ignore the very existence of Matt Forte. The Seahawks defense played terribly as well, so that ought to give even more hope to Bears fans. This is probably the best possible matchup they could have gotten for this round, but damned if I don't hate the fact that it came at the cost of a Green Bay win.

Jets 17, Colts 16
I'm torn in two by this. On the one hand I'm glad to see Manning fail in the playoffs again, but I'm also sad because I feel the Colts would have had a better chance at upsetting the Patriots. I don't expect another 45-3 massacre, but I have a hard time seeing how the Jets can top the Patriots in Foxborough.

Ravens 30, Chiefs 7
Sigh. Another Chiefs playoff appearance undermined by the overrated caretaker they have under center. Whether it's Steve Bono, Elvis Grbac, Steve DeBerg, or Matt Cassel, the Chiefs are the best in the NFL at getting to the playoffs and not having a quarterback who is even remotely a threat against a top-flight NFL defense. The Ravens took away the Chiefs' running game quickly (made even easier by Todd Haley's continued refusal to ride Jamaal Charles as far as he can go) and dared Cassel to beat them with his arm. The result? 70 yards, 3 ints. Our reward is yet another entertaining Steelers-Ravens matchup.

Packers 21, Eagles 16
Two of my favorite excuse-making fanbases met up, and the Packers walked away. A lot of Bears fans are happy about this because it brings Seattle to Chicago, but I still think the best thing for everyone is for Green Bay to exit these playoffs as quickly as possible. Either way, the Bears won't make it to the Superbowl unless they're capable of beating the best, so I suppose it doesn't matter. But dammit, I loathe Green Bay. That said, I was a little shocked that the Packers played so conservatively against a rather spongy Eagles defense. James Starks was a surprise, but I still think the Packers offense' biggest weakness is a lack of balance. We'll see if it costs them in Atlanta for a second time this year or if, (assuming the Bears take care of business) we'll see the first postseason game between the Packers and Bears since 1941.

That's it for now. Sorry I've been rather quiet during this bye week, but I'm always antsy during the long wait. Y'all stop in next weekend as I plan on SKOscasting all four divisional matchups.

Go Bears.

Around the NFL, Week 17

Patriots 38, Dolphins 7
I admire the New England Patriots. I really do. We can all say they're evil and that they cheat and that they run up the score but in the end every single bit of it comes down to jealousy. I would cut off appendages just to have the Bears run exactly the same way. The ruthless efficiency with which they destroy teams even in meaningless games is both appalling and beautiful in its own way.

Lions 20, Vikings 13
The Lions end their season at 6-10 following their first four game winning streak since 1999. That was of course the year that Cade F*&king McNown helped to drown their playoff hopes by exploding for 300 yards and four touchdowns. That there should tell you how long it really has been since Detroit was even really mediocre. Congratulations to them, though, on picking up some momentum and possibly rounding the corner, assuming they can ever get a healthy year out of Matt Stafford.

Falcons 31, Panthers 10
You're on the clock, Carolina.

Raiders 31, Chiefs 10
The Raiders destroy the Chiefs to finish 6-0 against the AFC West. They went 2-8 against everyone else and ended up 8-8. The Chiefs were 2-4 against the AFC West and and 8-2 and against everoyne else. These numbers mean nothing, but I find them interesting.

Steelers 41, Browns 9
Damn. That mid-season stretch of not-awful play by the Browns had me feeling lukewarm about their potential to not lose 10 games next year. Now I'm not so sure. Later, Mangini.

Jets 38, Bills 7
This is what happens when you hire Chan Gailey, you get destroyed by 31 points by a Jets team starting Mark Brunell and Joe McKnight. Bills fans, you have nothing but my sympathy, but you're f*&ked until Ralph Wilson dies.

Buccaneers 23, Saints 13
Tampa, I'm really sorry. I wanted the Bears to get you into the playoffs. You're a good story, you're much less douchey than Green Bay, and you're really a fun young team to watch. Alas, it was not to be. If you're a Bucs fan you have to be excited for next year, though. I've always liked Josh Freeman, but damned if I ever thought he'd be this good this fast.

Ravens 13, Bengals 7
The Bengals are a god damned mess. Their owner is a moron who thinks he's a general manager, they're not at all sure which way to go with Carson Palmer, and they'll say good bye to Marvin Lewis, a guy who managed to turn them around for a few fleeting moments before the darkness that is that franchise enshrouded him.

Giants 17, Redskins
Sure. Now you fucking win. Thanks alot, assholes. Enjoy another year of Tom Coughlin.

Texans 34, Jaguars 17
This was apparently enough to save Gary Kubiak's job. Standards in Houston are just a tad low these days.

Cowboys 14, Eagles 13
It's not fun to be Kevin Kolb.

Colts 23, Titans 20
The Colts get the Jets while the Chiefs get the Ravens, most likely setting up an Indy-New England divisional round matchup. 'Cuz those are always f*&king fun.

Chargers 32, Broncos 28
I think the fact that Tebow played just well enough to merit a shot at starting next year is a good thing. His colossal failure will be that much more epic (and if you think his erratic three game stint this year (50.0% completions) is enough to put the egg in my face or any of his doubters, think again. I'm filled with hate. I can keep it coming for YEARS).

49ers 38, Cardinals 7
Sorry, TEC. Perhaps hidden in this year's draft is the next Jake Plummer.

Seahawks 16, Rams 6.
Well. It happened. Now if Breesus tore something and the Seahawks and Packers advanced to bring Seattle back to Chicago for a divisional round rematch, well, I wouldn't be upset.

That's all for this regular season. I'll give my take on the playoffs as we go.

Packers 10, Bears 3. I've Seen This Movie Before

Hopefully another season ending in an ugly loss to Green Bay leads to a Superbowl berth. I'm not really sure what the Bears hoped to accomplish yesterday. They obviously straightened some stuff out on defense, and yet the offensive game plan seemed almost vanilla. The Bears didn't make any of their usual adjustments, they never used Cutler out of the shotgun outside of third and long, and it appeared as though they didn't want to show their hand for the playoffs. My question then, of course, is why even bother playing their starters the whole game? A Bears offensive line attempting to block Green Bay's front seven in a straight a man-to-man approach is a terrible idea, and the six sacks of Cutler prove that. Either way, my biggest complaint about yesterday is undoubtedly the game plan. Why not put Cutler and the offense into a hurry up Before the two minute drill? Even then nobody seemed to be in That much of a rush. The Bears really needed to decide before the game if it mattered to them, because their approach in that department was inconsistent at best.

I'm not trying to take anything away from the Green Bay Packers, however. That was an excellent slugfest on defense and unfortunately they won. I'm not particularly panicked about a seven point loss at Lambeau, considering they split the season series and an unlikely rematch would take place at Soldier Field. They've got a tough game against the Eagles next week and they'd have to follow that up with a win in the dome against Atlanta in order to make it to the NFC title game and while they're certainly a talented enough team to pull that off, I don't think they'll make it.

As for the Bears? Well, I'd try not to lose much sleep over this. There's a reason you play for homefield advantage. You avoid having to go into hostile environments to face tough teams in their element like the Packers. Of the teams the Bears have lost to this year, the Packers, the Redskins, the Giants, the Seahawks, and the Patriots, the Bears can't run into the Skins or Giants again. As for the he Seahawks game, well, the Bears are a much better team than they were then, and rematches with the Patriots and Packers would be deep into the playoffs and problems I'd be willing to worry about then. The important thing is that Cutler and the Bears have every opportunity to wipe out the bad taste of this ultimately meaningless loss by making some noise in the postseason. Let's hope they take advantage.

The Good:

The front seven- Green Bay could muster little in the way of the run game, and the defense made some huge stops in short yardage situations. GB struggled on third down, and the first goal line stand was a thing of beauty. Morons are bitching about the secondary again, but if you hold the Packers to 10 points you're doing something right. This can't be pinned on the defense.

Tommie Harris: Good to see Tommie get his first sack.

Matt Forte: He went over a 1,000 yards on the season and 500 yards receiving, the first Bears RB to pull that off. His 1,547 yards from scrimmage and 9 total touchdowns are damn good numbers.

The Bad:

Lovie and Martz: Was this game important or not, guys? I'm extremely disappointed with everything I listed above, along with not giving Webb any help against Clay Matthews and allowing Cutler to take a beating by waiting until the fourth quarter to switch to the short game.

Jay Cutler: This was the worst game he's played all year, and I mean that. He was off target all day. Of his two picks, one was a terrible decision in the end zone and the other was just a really bad throw. He made the right read in Hester but didn't step into the throw and the ball sailed high and ended the Bears hopes. He, more than anyone else, needs to do something great in the postseason to get the monkey off his back.

The Offensive Line: You guys suck.

That's all for now. See you all in the playoffs.

Around the NFL, Week 17

Steelers 27, Panthers 3
Well, I'm not exactly sure what the schedule-makers were expecting from a prime-time game featuring a Panthers team that only Peter King thought would be any good, but I doubt it was this. Jimmy Clausen is Cade McNown. Every time I watch him play I'm reminded of Cade's prancing footwork, his weak arm, his dead-duck of a deepball, and his cocky attitude and "pro-ready" pedigree. Get bent, Clausen.

Cardinals 27, Cowboys 26
Even in a season chock-full of it, Cowboys fail is amusing. The Cardinals are an interesting team to watch this offseason. Do they attempt to rebuild with either Skelton or a young QB snatched up in the draft, perhaps inviting another season reminiscent of the Young Jake Plummer Era? Or do they go after McNabb or a certain other quarterback who may be available and can CLEARLY lead a team back to glory?

Chiefs 34, Titans 14
Congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs on making their first playoff appearance since 2006. In a division that features Norv Turner, the Oakland Raiders, and had Josh McDaniels for most of the year, the Chiefs were certainly the least hateable team. Oh, and someone should fire Jeff Fisher like two months ago.

Ravens 20, Browns 10
I feel bad for Eric Mangini, actually. I can't stand the guy, but Holmgren set him up with a no-win situation this year in hopes of jettisoning him in favor of a hand-picked head coach in the offseason and Mangini for most of the year got pretty good effort out of his team, especially froma surprisingly good defense that should get the Browns into the picture next year. I mean how else can you explain signing Jake Delhomme if Holmgren wasn't trying to sabotage the guy?

Patriots 34, Bills 3
Well, yeah.

Rams 25, 49ers 17
Down goes Singletary. I've ranted against Singletary as a coach before and I'm tempted to do it again. As a hall of fame linebacker his credentials as a player are beyond debate, but as a coach he's every bad cliche of what makes a "good" football coach rolled into one. He frequently redasses players on the field, something that may make the frothing meatheads at home crush their Budweisers on their forehead in adulation but really undermines the effort and respect of the team, he jerks around quarterbacks at the first sign of trouble (something that plagued his mentor Ditka as well) and prevents any sort of offensive consistency, and he preaches accountability and personal responsibility while clearly shuffling blame onto the players every time he picks one out to go after on the sidelines or at the podium after the game. For every jackass that I heard arguing for throwing Lovie overboard last year and "getting a guy who "gets it"" like Singletary, I hope you've learned something from this. For every Ditka who comes along and wins with Buddy Ryan's defense and screams his way to one Superbowl, or for every Bill Cowher scowling on the sidelines, there's petulant assholes like Josh McDaniels and screaming lunatics like Singletary who preach about teamwork and discipline while practicing little of either for themselves.

Oh, and who else is pumped as hell for the Sunday night play-in game between the Rams and the Seahawks? I mean, I think the Rams are the better team and should win that division, but aren't we all, at least deep down, hoping for a Seahawks victory and a 7-9 playoff team?

Lions 34, Dolphins 27
The Lions are on a nice little run. The Dolphins probably shouldn't fire Sparano yet, as his mistake was winning 11 games his first year and masking a lot of the organizational issues that still plague a team that was largely harvested of any kind of young and promising talent during the Wannstedt/Saban/Cameron years of 2001-2007. The results he's achieved the last couple years are more indicative of where this team's talent is. Sparano should get one more year but that should be contingent on him recognizing a lost cause and throwing Chad Henne overboard. Chad Henne is who he was at Michigan, a talented pocket passer who often makes poor decisions and isn't consistently accurate. Two years as a starter used to be a small window, but nowadays that's all you're going to get, and the fact that Henne right now is exactly where he was a year ago is a bad sign.

Redskins 20, Jaguars 17
While Rex naturally followed up his four TD outburst against Dallas with a game in which he failed to complete 50% of his passes and had a passer rating of 60.0, he may still be in position to secure at least a temporary starting job for the Redskins in 2011. And you all know you want that. Also, congratulations to the Jacksonville Jaguars on being the Jacksonville Jaguars. There was a brief window this season where you weren't the Jaguars, but it's good to see you return to your roots and fail to truly even threaten the Indianapolis Colts.

Broncos 24, Texans 23
Tebow played well. That is naturally contingent of course on the fact that the Texans have, statistically, the worst pass defense in the history of the NFL and are nearing the end of an epic collapse, but oh well. Credit where it's due, I suppose. I look forward to the Chargers stomping him out in the last game and seeing what the next Broncos coach chooses to do with a player who is still a very big project.

Colts 31, Raiders 26
Thank you, Indy. For the seventh straight year, the Raiders will not accomplish a winning season.

Bengals 34, Chargers 20
The Chargers really learned the hard way this year that taking the first two months off every year may eventually come back to bite you on the ass. But hey, at least their owner says Norv Turner is safe. That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it, Chargers Fan?

Buccaneers 38, Seahawks 15
Good win by the Bucs, who I really wish hadn't lost to the Lions last week. If they'd pulled that off they'd have Green Bay backed up against the wall big time. Alas, they must upset the Saints in New Orleans this weekend and have the Bears beat Green Bay in order to keep the Pack out of the playoffs. Make it so. Oh, and here is your reminder that the Seahawks can make the playoffs despite being outscored by their opponents by 104 points this year.

Packers 45, Giants 17
Man, the Giants have just quit. Aaron Rodgers was absolutely outstanding, but the six turnovers were just inexplicable. If the Giants can pull it together to beat the Redskins they still have a shot as they have the tiebreaker with the Buccaneers in the event of a Bucs win over the Saints, but they obviously lose the tiebreaker to the Packers.

Saints 17, Falcons 14
I love Drew Brees and I'm beating a dead horse but if Jay Cutler had thrown that ridiculous underhanded pick six that Brees "threw" to give the Falcons a fourth quarter lead in a huge late-season divisional game, he'd be absolutely freaking crucified. I don't care if he threw four touchdown passes in the rest of the game, that interception would be plastered all over the Earth. But what do they say about Drew Brees? It's good because he can shake off his interceptions. Jesus.

Vikings 24, Eagles 14
I watched the entire second half of this game, and I still have no idea how it happened. The Eagles shitty defense failed them once again and Michael Vick was unable to single-handedly save them. Why people haven't brought up the Eagles' glaring deficiency on that side of the ball, I don't know, but I'm curious as to why, in a season where the Bears offensive woes (which have been mostly cured since the bye) have them marked as a Fraud by all of the Les Carpenters of the world, the Eagles defense isn't also singled out as a unit that could cripple a playoff run. They're allowing over 24 ppg on defense and have allowed teams like the Lions, Titans, Redskins, Cowboys, and Joe Webb-led Vikings to put up 32, 39, 28, 27, and 24 points respectively. Thank you, Joe Webb, for giving the Bears a first round bye the easy way. I still hope the Bears take care of business and keep the Packers out of the postseason, but I appreciate the room for error.

Les Carpenter, I Will Hunt You Down and Paint the Walls With Your Blood

I can't even begin to process this shit. You know the deal. He's in italics.

Bears need charitable foes on playoff schedule

Right. Because the Bears only win because opponents give them the game. Their 0-15 streak in the Deserved to Win Standings still holds strong!

The ball spiraled down through the frosty air and Devin Hester(notes) pumped his fist. Nobody much kicks to the Chicago Bears returner anymore. Not the way he darts around blocks, between tacklers and down the sideline.

Nobody kicks to him anymore? How is it that he's had returns in 14 of 15 games this season then? If the Matt Dodge/DeSean Jackson controversy taught us anything, it's that it's really hard Not to kick it to somebody every time.

Kick to Hester and you might as well prepare to lose.
And so, as he saw the ball coming his way, he couldn’t help but to smile.

Yes. The Bears only win on Hester returns. The fact that their offense is averaging 27 ppg in the second half has NOTHING to do with it.

Half a field later, as he was finally corralled in front of the Jets bench, he wagged a finger at the team so stupid to kick his way. No, no. Don’t you do it again.

He might as well have been waving to the rest of the NFL. Because what are the Bears in the looming postseason if they don’t get a team as dumb as the Jets?

I don't know. What makes the Jets any dumber than the rest of the NFL? The Packers kicked to Hester. The Eagles kicked to Hester. The Giants kicked to Hester. Every playoff contender the Bears have faced have kicked the ball to Hester. I don't think the Giants are particularly stupid. There's a reason why Hester has accumulated the stats he's accumulated long after it was painfully obvious how good he was. It's hard to avoid the returner. A guy like Hester can range sideline to sideline and a punter damn near has to shank it simply to make it Impossible for him to return it.

They are 11-4 with a step toward a bye the first week of the playoffs, and yet, if a team isn’t crazy enough to kick or punt the ball Hester’s way or let him turn a defensive back in circles the way he did Jets cornerback Dwight Lowery(notes) on a third-quarter touchdown, then how good are they really?

I don't know. Good enough that that's now the ninth game they've won this year without a Hester return TD. Hell, let's play this game with every other contender.

If you take away Drew Brees, how good are the Saints really?
If you cover Roddy White, who the hell will Matt Ryan throw to?
If DeSean Jackson doesn't touch the ball, how good are the Eagles?

I love how it's always pundits like this who get out their erection for "fundamental, hard-nosed football" and say shit like "special teams is a third of the game" and then scoff laughingly at a team that gets big contributions from their special teams like its some kind of fluke. For four years now the Bears have proven that their special teams is a really dangerous unit that sets up their offense with great field position and must be accounted for. That's not a fluke or something easily dismissed. That's just another sign of a good football team.

Chicago is supposed to be built on defense, growling about its ability to dislodge the ball from runners, recovering fumbles and snatching opposing quarterbacks’ passes from the air. Yet on Sunday, the Bears gave up 34 points to a quarterback (Mark Sanchez(notes)) with a throwing shoulder (right) supposedly so sore he could barely throw in practice this week.

Oh no! The Bears defense had a bad game against a team that has one of the best offensive lines in football! They neutralized Julius Peppers and the defense struggled. The Bears, as good teams will do, compensated on offense and still won the game. Sensible people would see this as the mark of a good football team. Idiots will continue to push an agenda that the Bears arent' very good because Calvin Johnson had a TD taken away or something.

Against the Jets, the Bears scored plenty points of their own. Twenty-one of them came in a 7:14 time period in the third quarter when New York and the new clown prince of football, Rex Ryan, essentially handed Chicago the game. This was after Ryan thought a fake punt on his own 40-yard line at the start of the second half would be a fine idea. And right after Ryan’s assistants apparently let punter Steve Weatherford(notes) boot the ball to Hester who set up a touchdown with a 38-yard return, which was right before the kickoff went Hester’s way and he pumped his fist.

No. Fuck you. That did not "hand the Bears the game." You do not score 38 fucking points against one of the top-scoring defenses in football because of one ill-advised decision. It was fucking 24-17 at that point. The Jets were not in fucking control of the game. Hell, their entire second half was mostly terrible outside of one blown coverage on Santonio Holmes that led to a Jets TD. Here are the Jets drives in the second half minus the Holmes TD:

4 Plays, 7 yds, Turnover on Downs
3Plays, 0 yds, Punt
12 Plays, 51 yds, FG
12 Plays, 40 yds, Punt
3 Plays, 5 yds, Punt
1 Play, O yds, INT.

The Bears outscored the Jets 31-17 in the 1st, 3rd, and 4th quarters. The Jets had a great second quarter. Using Carpenter's logic, outside of one chunk of time in the 2nd quarter, the Jets were never even in this game. The Bears scored 38 points. 7 of them came after the turnover, and hell, the Bears went 40 yards in one play on that drive. The Jets didn't "hand the Bears the game," the Bears fucking took it by beating the Jets vaunted CBs in man coverage. That's not luck. That's one football team beating another.

Without that 7:14 of Rex Ryan being Rex Ryan, Chicago likely loses this game and with it, much hope of getting that first-round bye. And that should worry many about these Bears.

Without that time period in which they scored a lot of points and took over the game, this team would probably have lost!

This is just shitty fucking journalism at it's worst. I can't even be funny about this. This is pathetic, agenda-pushing drivel. What kind of logic is this? You can't take away shit that happens on a football field. One play, sure. Go ahead and make that pointless argument. But three straight scoring drives spread out over most of an entire quarter? No. Fuck you.

They just don’t feel like a team that will go deep into January.

I'm glad you aren't even trying to use logic here.

Chicago has not built its 11 wins on the carcasses of gifted teams. It withstood a furious rally from Philadelphia to win a game in late November, beat a mercurial Green Bay team and should probably have lost on Sunday were it not for the bumbling Jets who absorbed their defeat by shouting loudly in their locker room after learning that Jacksonville’s overtime loss had put them into the playoffs. Otherwise, the Bears’ résumé includes losses to the Redskins and Seahawks. In their two marquee games, they lost 17-3 to the Giants and 36-7 to the Patriots.

The Bears have beaten the Packers, Jets, and Eagles. That's three teams that have at least 9 wins. That's the same number the Packers have beaten (except the Bears beat Green Bay), the same number the Eagles have beaten (except the Bears beat the Eagles), one more than the Saints have beaten, and just one less than the Falcons have beaten. Also, what makes the Giants game and the Patriots games their "marquee games." The Bears have played prime-time games against the Packers, Giants, Dolphins, and Vikings. They've won 3 of those 4. If those aren't their marquee games, then they've played playoff contenders in the Packers, Giants, Eagles, Patriots, and Jets. They've won 3 of those 5. The only reason this schmuck lists the Giants and Pats as their "marquee games" are because they're the ones that fit his narrative. Hell, why the fuck would the Giants be a marquee game? They're not even currently set to make the playoffs. They got beat by the Packers and Eagles, both of whom Chicago has beaten. This is just shit.

Such nights do not make a champion.

Wait, they can't win the Superbowl in October games against non-division opponents?

Usually teams on the verge of big playoff runs seem good at something. And Chicago did come into the game with the league’s eighth-ranked defense. But it was also a defense that gave up nearly 400 yards and let the Jets run free across the field, just as it allowed 475 yards to New England and 398 to Philadelphia.

And won two of those three games. What does it say when a team can beat two of three playoff bound opponents in games in which their defense didn't play particularly well (although they did against the Eagles, but some people will never grasp the concept of a prevent defense)? Apparently that means they suck ass and will lose to those same playoff teams that they beat. Or something.

Offensively Cutler looked alternately brilliant and awful on Sunday, which is sort of the way he’s been all season Only six times this year has he been the top passer in a game the Bears have played. There’s no sense counting on the quarterback, who has been derided in Chicago and previously in Denver as immature, to win games on his own. Certainly not behind the Bears offensive line which isn’t dominant enough to wait out his long looks downfield that have allowed him to be sacked 46 times this year and intercepted 14 others.

Who the fuck cares if he's been the top passer in the games the Bears have played? It's not like they're playing against the same defenses. He's won the games and his statistics are actually really good, regardless of how this guy tries to spin them in order to find the one or two that make him look bad. His 14 interceptions place him well behind guys like both Manning brothers (combined 41 picks for those two) and Drew Brees (19). I don't suppose those guys are "immature and unable to win games on their own." And he's only been derided by idiots like you. That doesn't count for shit.

Sunday might have exposed the Bears, told the country that even after beating another top AFC team, Chicago is not destined to march far into the winter.

It's been 15 games. The Bears have won 11 of them. I don't care if they've been "exposed." If they're so bad, why doesn't somebody just fucking beat them?

Eat a dick, Les Carpenter. You have a stupid name, anyway.

Bears 38, Jets 34- A Christmas Miracle

Not exactly. Christmas is a time of giving, and the Bears defense and Jay Cutler were particularly kind to the Jets in the 2nd quarter. Fortunately Cutler rebounded to take over the game in the second half and the defense did what it had to do in order to secure the Bears an impressive comeback win in an unexpectedly high-scoring contest. Onto the recap:

The Good

Matt Forte: Matt continued his terrific second half with 113 yards and a TD on 19 carries to go along with 4 catches and 56 yards through the air. Those people that scoffed at him fulfilling the Marshall Faulk role in the Martz offense before the year should probably look at his 1465 yards from scrimmage this year and reconsider.

Johnny Knox: He had some drops early on, but rebounded to kill the Jets in the third quarter and he finished with 4 catches, 92 yards, and 2 TDs.

Devin Hester: The Bears got Hester the ball on offense, kick returns, and punt returns, and it worked out well as he set them up with good field position all day and then had a huge TD grab on offense.

Chris Harris: He was one of the few defensive players to perform fairly well throughout, and his game-ending pick of Mark Sanchez was a masterful work of duping a quarterback into a turnover. It also gave him a career high five picks on the year. Great job of re-acquiring this guy.

The Bad:

The defensive line: They haven't been on this list much, but the Jets vaunted offensive front blew Peppers and Co. off of the ball all day long. This allowed Rico Mirerez enough time to throw for 269 yards and to compile an 84.3 rating, which is extremely distressing as I hate that overrated twerp.

Tim Jennings: He's played very well mostly since taking over for Zack Bowman, but he dropped at least one interception today and he bit badly on a playfake leaving Santonio Holmes wide open for the TD that tied the game at 31.

The second quarter: Cutler threw one mind-bogglingly stupid interception for a touchdown, the defense allowed a 10-0 lead to dissipate into a 21-10 deficit, and everything seemed lost. Fortunately Martz switched to the shotgun and allowed Cutler to get into a rhythm on the drive that made it 21-17 and the Bears showed up in the third quarter.

Somewhere in Between:
Jay Cutler: It's hard to say he had a bad game in a game where he threw 3 TDs and guided the offense to 38 points, but Cutler was mostly inaccurate and had trouble sustaining drives outside of the third quarter. His pick-six was abominably stupid and he double clutched before going down at the two-yard line on a play that should have been given up on well before the Jets ever got to him. I've been extremely pleased with Jay's performance during the second half, but he just can't make those mistakes. Oh well, his three TD passes were the god damn balls and everyone of you knows it. You rock, Jay. Congrats on being the first passer in Bears history with back to back 3000 yard seasons and back to back 20+ TD seasons.

That's all for now. Time to go to Green Bay, knock their asses out of the playoffs, and secure the bye. Go Bears.