Now that the regular season is more or less over other than the feces flinging between the Twins and White Sox, I thought this would be a good time to look back at my hilariously bad preseason predictions-
AL East-
Predicted:
1. Red Sox 97-65
2. Yankees 88-74
3. Rays 84-78
4. Blue Jays 82-80
5. Orioles 64-98
Actual:
1. Tampa BayRays 97-65
Okay, so I wasn't ready to stake the farm on them, but I had faith in this team. Nobody expected this though, but good for them.
2. Boston Red Sox 95-67
They more or less did what everyone thought they would do, and would have won the division but for the miracle Rays.
3. New York Yankees 89-73
I was only off by one game. This team is Old, and I think everyone but them (and Sports Illustrated) knew that.
4. Toronto Blue Jays 86-76
The injury prone rotation kept them short of the playoffs, as I predicted. Scott Rolen sucks.
5. Baltimore Orioles 68-93
Fuck Andy MacPhail.
I did a better job predicting this division than most, as you'll see with my AL Central and West Previews.
AL Central-
Predicted:
1. Detroit Tigers 95-67
2. Cleveland Indians 92-70
3. Chicago White Sox 77-85
4. Minnesota Twins 73-89
5. Kansas City Royals 71-91
Actual:
1A. Minnesota Twins 88-74
Oh come on, like you thought they'd be good.
1B. Chicago White Sox 88-74
I hate this division, I hate this team, I hate their manager, I hate their fan. I hate that they seem intent on dredging their way to a three game sweep at the hands of the Rays.
3. Cleveland Indians 81-81
I said Fausto Carmona wasn't a fluke. He was. I said Travis Hafner would rebound. He didn't. I said CC Sabathia would be great in his free agent year. He was. For Milwaukee. Fuck.
4. Kansas City Royals 75-87
They won 75 games, their best season since 2003. Wulf.
5. Detroit Tigers 74-88
I had them in the world series, and so did Sports Illustrated. Sadly, you'll see I whiffed worse on other teams.
AL West:
1. Seattle Mariners 89-73
2. California Angels 86-76
3. Oakland Athletics 76-86
4. Texas Rangers 72-90
Actual:
1. California Angels 100-62
I still don't know if they're as good as their record, but they sure told me to go fuck myself.
2. Texas Rangers 79-83
I was right, Josh Hamilton WAS a good pickup.
3. Oakland Athletics 75-86
Probably my most accurate prediction.
4. Seattle Mariners 61-101
This is what I get for doubting sabermetrics. Their pythagorean W-L in 2007 said they were worse than their 88-74 record, and I should have jumped ship when I saw that Jose Vidro was DHing. God. This is probably my worst call, but there's one more you'll laugh your ass off at.
NL East-
Predicted:
1. Philadelphia Phillies 92-70
2. New York Mets 89-73
3. Washington Nationals 83-79
4. Atlanta Braves 81-81
5. Florida Marlins 69-93
Actual:
1. Philadelphia Phillies 92-70
I got one! I got one!
2. New York Mets 89-73
On a roll baby!
3. Florida Marlins 84-78
This just proves that the Marlins are determined to screw with me at every possible opportunity.
4.Atlanta Braves 72-90
I overestimated my win total, but did say the following: "Glavine doesn't have much left in him in his second Atlanta go-round, Mike Hampton won't make it through the season, Tim Hudson has posted just one great season in his Atlanta tenure, and I don't think they even know who their fifth starter is. I see this team stumbling out of the gate and trading Teixera at the deadline" Eh? Pretty good prognostication, right? Remember that when we get to...
5. Washington Nationals 59-102
Seriously I'm not sure whether this is worse than my Mariners prediction or not. I thought that the new ballpark and a potentially talented lineup would get them a few wins. But seriously Austin Kearns, Wily Mo Pena, Ryan Zimmerman, and Paul Lo Duca all had below average seasons, and Dmitri Young and Nick Johnson both missed most of the season. Can I really be blamed for that much bad luck befalling Washington?
NL West-
Predicted:
1. Colorado Rockies 91-71
2. Arizona Diamondbacks 88-74
3. Los Angeles Dodgers 85-77
4. San Diego Padres 79-83
5. San Fransisco Giants 63-99
Actual:
1. Los Angeles Dodgers 84-78
So I was actually pretty close on their record, I just underestimated how thin this division really was.
2. Arizona Diamondbacks 81-81
Their offense, which was hit or miss last year, was more miss.
3. Colorado Rockies 74-88
Their pitching just absolutely fell apart. I guess their total badassitude in High Heat 2002 has always made me wish that the Rockies could have sustained success. Oh the follies of youth.
4. San Fransisco Giants 70-92
Well, they sucked, but not as much as thought..so that's...good for them? Tim Lincecum is the balls.Other than this team is still screwed offensively.
5. San Diego Padres 63-99
Speaking of sucking offensively, how has Kevin Towers managed to justify letting this offense degrade year after year? They were mediocre or less than from 2004-2007, and showed absolutely no power, and yet no remedy was even attempted. One mediocre showing from their pitching staff and they sank into oblivion. They finished last in the NL in runs, OBP, and steals, and were damn near the bottom in every other category. I've had to watch some horrible Cubs teams in my life, but most of those could be attributed to horrible pitching, the hardest ones to watch are the ones with no semblance of an offense. Adrian Gonzalez probably weeps everytime he looks at the lineup card.
NL Central-
Predicted:
1. Chicago Cubs 95-67
2. Milwaukee Brewers 84-78
3. Houston Astros 77-85
4. Cincinnati Reds 75-87
5. St. Louis Cardinals 72-90
6. Pittsburgh Pirates 70-92
Actual:
1. Chicago Cubs 97-64
I was criticized for suggesting they'd win 95 games, but this team's proven over and over again that it's just too much of a juggernaut to slow down. There were no injuries, no excuses, no prima donna superstarts collecting paychecks from a hot tub, Lou Piniella knew all season just what buttons to push and this team posted its best record since 1945. Hopefully they've got 11 more wins left in them.
2. Milwaukee Brewers 90-72
They nearly blew it again, but managed to go 5-1 against the vaunted Pirates and the Iowa Cubs to outlast the choking Mets. They think they have momentum, but I won't be surprised when that falls apart against the Phillies.
3. Houston Astros 86-75
They think Bud Selig killed their season, but perhaps a 44-51 first half and the fact that they surrendered more runs than they scored (pythagorean W-L 77-84) deserves its fair share of the blame. Their pitching was as miserable behind Oswalt as expected. They'll be worse next year.
4.St. Louis Cardinals 86-76
I've come to the conclusion that this team will never be as bad as it should be, let alone as bad as I Want it to be.The difference is that now I just don't care. They can't touch the Cubs this year, and really we've had the upperhand head to head ever since Dusty's days. They just chucked a ton of money at Kyle Lohse and that will hopefully bite them.
5. Cincinnati Reds 74-88
They were about as bad as I expected them to be. Some people in the national media seemed to think that the combination of young talent and Dusty's "leadership" would spur them to a better record, but anyone with experience with Dustbag (i.e., Cubs fans), knew he'd play the wrong players (Corey, Bako) and run the good ones into the ground (Harang, Cueto, Volquez). They need to wake up and fire him before he ruins their future.
6.Pittsburgh 67-95
I just...I know only one Pirates fan, and he's a bald history teacher who developed a brain tumor and had to have it removed recently. Coincidence? I think not.
So there you have it....some hits, some misses, some total what-the-fuck-was-he-thinking calls. Just don't listen to me. Don't do it.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Your SKO Random Cubs Third Baseman of the Day: Keith Moreland
Name: Bobby Keith Moreland
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Ht: 6'0'' Weight: 200 lb
Years as a Cub: 1982-1987
"Have Keith Moreland drop a Routine Fly.."
Keith Moreland is remembered fondly by most Cubs fans as the popular, if defensively challenged right fielder for the Cubs of the early 80s, specifically the 1984 Cubs. Many fans forget that he occasionally started at third those years, and became the full time third baseman his final year with the Cubs in 1987. Had Keith remembered to take his glove with him to third base, fans might remember him even more fondly.
Keith was acquired by the Cubs in a 1981 trade with the Phillies that sent current Giants broadcaster Mike Krukow east in exchange for Moreland and pitchers Dickie Noles and Dan Larson. Larson and Noles were mostly busts with the Cubs, as Larson was gone after 1982 and Noles was moved from the rotation to the pen and traded away early in 1984. Keith, however, appeared in over 138 games in each of his six seasons in Chicago and was a key part of the 1984 NL East champion team.
After averaging 15 homers and 81 RBIs a year to go along with a .279 average in his first 5 seasons with the Cubs, mostly in the outfield, Moreland was moved to third base when the Cubs signed free agent Andre Dawson before the 1987 season. A hole had opened up at third base when the Cubs had allowed the 38 year old Ron Cey, who had manned the position since 1983, to walk after the 1986 season. With Dawson in the outfield, and an infield of Moreland at third, promising second-year starter Shawon Dunston at short, Ryne Sandberg at second, Leon Durham at 1st, and Jody Davis catching, hopes were high for the 1987 Cubs to contend for the first time since their '84 division championship.
Alas it was not to be, as an injury to Sandberg, revolving doors in left and center field, poor play by Dunston, a below average season from Jody Davis, and the lack of a starting pitcher behind Rick Sutcliffe all conspired to land the Cubs in last place, despite leading the league in homer runs thanks mostly to an MVP season from newcomer Dawson. On the offensive side of the ball, Moreland contributed to the Cubs 209 home runs that year with a career high 27 of his own, and had a respectable .266/27/88/.309/.465 line in 153 games.
Where Moreland failed to be respectable in 1987, however, was in the field. Despite having 40 career starts at the hot corner going into 1987, Moreland played like a raw rookie in a 149 starts. With 28 errors, a below average .934 fielding %, and an average-at-best 2.66 range factor, Moreland proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was not the answer at that position, and the Cubs decided to go in a different direction.
Before the 1988 season, the Cubs signed Vance Law, a much better defensive player, to play third base and shipped Moreland to the Padres in exchange for Goose Gossage and Ray Hayward, and thus ended the Cubs career of one of the more popular players of the 80s.
Today Moreland is a baseball coach at St. Stephen's Episcopal School, where he shares a connection with your beloved author. Moreland's pitching coach at St. Stephen's is Scott Ruffcorn, a former first round pick of the White Sox and cousin to the author in question. We don't discuss his former team.
Keith Moreland: Should have stayed in the outfield.
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Ht: 6'0'' Weight: 200 lb
Years as a Cub: 1982-1987
"Have Keith Moreland drop a Routine Fly.."
Keith Moreland is remembered fondly by most Cubs fans as the popular, if defensively challenged right fielder for the Cubs of the early 80s, specifically the 1984 Cubs. Many fans forget that he occasionally started at third those years, and became the full time third baseman his final year with the Cubs in 1987. Had Keith remembered to take his glove with him to third base, fans might remember him even more fondly.
Keith was acquired by the Cubs in a 1981 trade with the Phillies that sent current Giants broadcaster Mike Krukow east in exchange for Moreland and pitchers Dickie Noles and Dan Larson. Larson and Noles were mostly busts with the Cubs, as Larson was gone after 1982 and Noles was moved from the rotation to the pen and traded away early in 1984. Keith, however, appeared in over 138 games in each of his six seasons in Chicago and was a key part of the 1984 NL East champion team.
After averaging 15 homers and 81 RBIs a year to go along with a .279 average in his first 5 seasons with the Cubs, mostly in the outfield, Moreland was moved to third base when the Cubs signed free agent Andre Dawson before the 1987 season. A hole had opened up at third base when the Cubs had allowed the 38 year old Ron Cey, who had manned the position since 1983, to walk after the 1986 season. With Dawson in the outfield, and an infield of Moreland at third, promising second-year starter Shawon Dunston at short, Ryne Sandberg at second, Leon Durham at 1st, and Jody Davis catching, hopes were high for the 1987 Cubs to contend for the first time since their '84 division championship.
Alas it was not to be, as an injury to Sandberg, revolving doors in left and center field, poor play by Dunston, a below average season from Jody Davis, and the lack of a starting pitcher behind Rick Sutcliffe all conspired to land the Cubs in last place, despite leading the league in homer runs thanks mostly to an MVP season from newcomer Dawson. On the offensive side of the ball, Moreland contributed to the Cubs 209 home runs that year with a career high 27 of his own, and had a respectable .266/27/88/.309/.465 line in 153 games.
Where Moreland failed to be respectable in 1987, however, was in the field. Despite having 40 career starts at the hot corner going into 1987, Moreland played like a raw rookie in a 149 starts. With 28 errors, a below average .934 fielding %, and an average-at-best 2.66 range factor, Moreland proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was not the answer at that position, and the Cubs decided to go in a different direction.
Before the 1988 season, the Cubs signed Vance Law, a much better defensive player, to play third base and shipped Moreland to the Padres in exchange for Goose Gossage and Ray Hayward, and thus ended the Cubs career of one of the more popular players of the 80s.
Today Moreland is a baseball coach at St. Stephen's Episcopal School, where he shares a connection with your beloved author. Moreland's pitching coach at St. Stephen's is Scott Ruffcorn, a former first round pick of the White Sox and cousin to the author in question. We don't discuss his former team.
Keith Moreland: Should have stayed in the outfield.
Cubs Clinch- An Hour by Hour/Inning by Inning Account
This Saturday, as anyone here should know, the Cubs clinched their 2nd consecutive NL Central Division Title. The girlfriend bought us tickets for my birthday so like good cornfield denizens of the Quad Cities, we drove to Aurora and hopped on a train to avoid driving in Chicago. The game was perfect as was the night, so here's a brief account of how it all went down
5:40 AM- Wake up. Girlfriend practically drags me out of bed. I am most hesitant to go. Eventually I stir myself.
7:00 AM- Drop the dogs off at the kennel, as my parents had friends with them for the weekend out at our family's camper, and neither of us would be home to take care of the pups. Hit the road with my dad's TomTom as our guide to the Aurora train station.
7:30 AM- Realized that I forgot to hit "start" on the TomTom, and have thus managed to get lost in Rock Island..a town I travel through every day.
7:40 AM- After turning the TomTom on, we hit the interstate for Aurora.
9:50 AM- Arrive in Aurora, buy tickets for the 10:20 to Union Station. We ask a man in a uniform if the train currently on the tracks is the right train. He responds in a thick Chicago accent "Yeah, of course it is. Fuck, ya never rode the train before? If you're heading to the game I hope ya bring them some fuckin luck. Fuck. That fuckin' Zambrano got fuckin torched yesterday. Hope they can at least fuckin clinch today. But yeah, thats the right train. Have fun. Fuckin go Cubs!" We board the train.
12:00 PM- Arrive in Union Station 18 minutes late due to "construction on the track". My heart goes out to the poor bastards who ride those things to work every day.
12:30 PM- After getting directions from Union Station to the Red Line from a hobo (who turned out to be wrong) we walk 8 blocks toward the wrong station before being directed by a kind, though loud mouthed, Cubs fan, who directs us underground to the right station. While waiting for the train, the kindly loud mouth comments that "this is where you go if you want to get to the Cubs game." I respond that if you want to go to the White Sox game, you hop down and lick the third rail. Laughs all around.
1:00 PM- Arrive at the Addison station after climbing from below ground to well above, which made the girlfriend beyond nervous. The huge camera around her neck and our complete and obvious lack of direction make our inexperience in the city as obvious as though we'd had signs around our necks saying "gullible tourists". As Wrigley comes into view the girlfriend (her first trip ever) smiles bright enough to power most of the North Side. Its a proud moment for the man who converted her from a Red Sox (not her fault, her father's from Boston) to a Cubs fan in February.
1:10 PM- Girlfriend asks why the statue of Harry Caray is so unnervingly creepy. I respond that the designer confused Harry's diet of beer with a diet of Souls.
1:25 PM- We enter Wrigley and climb up the stairs to watch batting practice. Upon her first view of the field, girlfriend marvels that "its so much smaller than it looks on TV". We move down to watch BP, but are unable to obtain autographs, though we snap a few good pictures of Z, Lou, and Geovany Soto as he warms up.
1:45 PM- After purchasing two Chicago Dogs, we devour them after moving to our seats. The girlfriend, who is normally Not a hot dog eater, marvels at the concept of grilled onions and tomatoes as condiments. Watching my girlfriend with the normally perfect table manners and very select eating habits wolf down a dog and smear mustard on her mouth nearly brings a tear to my eye.
2:30 PM- two couples sit down to my right. The man in the seat next to me reveals that he's from Toronto and is a Blue Jays fan. We discuss Lyle Overbay, AJ Burnett's fragility, his surprise at Ted's success with the Cubs, and our mutual love of Matt Stairs. True baseball fans are fun, no matter the franchise. He is clearly smitten with Wrigley Field.
2:40 PM- First pitch from a 104 year old hobbit. Crowd goes wild.
2:45 PM- First pitch from Vince Vaughn. Crowd less than impressed.
2:55 PM/ Top of the 1st-First pitch. Cesar Izturis leads off the game. The girlfriend, who only learned the principle of On Base Percentage in April (still ahead of Dusty Baker), has the following conversation with me-
GF- Why's someone with such a low average and OBP leading off?
Me- Because Tony LaRussa is a genius.
GF- Doesn't seem like it to me ( as she talks, Izturis pops out to Soto, GF cheers ecstatically for her "Little Geovany").
Ryan Ludwick bats, and doubles before retires Pujols and Lopez to end the inning.
Bottom of the 1st-Joel Piniero starts and the Cubs answer the Cardinals with a double wedged between three outs.
Top of the 2nd- I question the Cardinals fan sitting next to the Blue Jays fan as to why .267/24/90/.369/.477 Troy Glaus is batting 5th while .264/5/39/.328/.362 Felipe Lopez bats cleanup. Cards fan rolls his eyes and mutters something that sounds like "trucking LaRussa". curious. Cardinals go down quick, with only a soft single from Brian Barton.
Bottom of the 2nd-Cubs load the bases with two outs. Soriano singles to left to make it 3-0. Girlfriend goes for the hug while I moronically go for the high five. Awkwardness ensues. Eventually a high five and hug result.
Top of the 3rd- Ted mows them down and erases the only base runner with a double play.
Bottom of the 3rd- Cubs go down in order. The game is moving along quickly.
Top of the 4th-Ted continues to roll, setting the heart of the order,although with Felipe Lopez batting cleanup one can argue that its a heart with serious defects, down 1-2-3.
Bottom of the 4th- Cubs score two on a double by Mark DeRosa and a suicide squeeze by Lilly, possibly the most exciting play of the game.
Top of the 5th- Cardinals go down in order. Ted sets the cruise control.
Bottom of the 5th- Cubs go down quietly, with an Edmonds DP erasing an Aramis single.
Top of the 6th- Ted sparks fears of pants-shitting everywhere as a Lopez single and Glaus three run homer cut a 5-0 lead to 5-4. Girlfriend attempts to calm down my growing fears. Tension hovers in the air.
Bottom of the 6th- Hopes for a momentum swing are dashed as Fukudome refuses to swing on a hit and run call and gets Soto thrown out at second, then strikes out. I'm not sure if I'm more pissed at Fukudome for playing so meek, or if the Girlfriend is more pissed that he got Soto thrown out.
Top of the 7th- In a surprise move, Lou sends Ted to start the 7th. Ted reverts to form, striking out the first two batters and getting Cesar to ground out to end the inning. All in all 6 great innings out of 7 total for Ted.
Bottom of the 7th- Cubs go down in order, but not before the Girlfriend snaps a perfect picture of Mike Fontenot. Not sure why that matters.
Top of the 8th- Crowd on its feet as Marmol slices through Ludwick, Pujols, and Lopez. I rejoice that Pujols can't ruin it in the 9th. The crowd gets even more tense as they start to taste victory.
Bottom of the 8th- Lee, Ramirez, Edmonds all go down as everyone seems intent on finishing this thing quickly.
Top of the 9th- 41,597 on their feet as Wood comes in to close it out. After some grumbling over a walk to Glaus, Kerry grounds out Kennedy and strikes out Skip Schumaker. A soft fly ball off of the bat of Aaron Miles fittingly lands in the glove of Jim Edmonds. The crowd goes nuts as the Girlfriend (an opera major with some serious pipes) destroys a row of ear drums with an ear piercing scream of joy. Three rounds of "Go Cubs Go" follow, as well as "Someday We'll Go All the Way". I find myself disappointed at the low number of fans who've actually heard the song. After watching the Cubs celebrate on the mound, we wait for them to return from the dugout and watch them spray the stands with champagne. Finally we work our way out, still singing "Go Cubs Go" as we high five half of Wrigleyville.
After leaving the stadium we head into Wrigleyville Sports to work our way past the crowd of fans desperate for 2008 Central Champion shirts. The Girlfriend picks out a nice pinstriped t-shirt reminiscent of the late 80s/early 90s pullover Cubs jerseys. She demurs my suggestion that she buy the sansabelt pants to match. We walk a mile to reach Giordanos, determined to have some deep dish pizza. The pizza is delicious, and the ride back to Union Station on the red line from Belmont is full of rejoicing Cubs fans and somber Cardinals fans. At Union Station we board the 8:40 train to Aurora, arriving at 10:00. At 1:10 in the morning we arrive back at home, and fall asleep moments after hitting the bed.
In conclusion: It was a wonderful birthday gift and a great moment for Cubs fans, old and new.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Your SKO Random Third Baseman of the Day: Shane Andrews
Name: Shane Andrews
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Height: 6'1'' Weight:215 lbs (Lies!)
Years as a Cub: 2000
The moment his back shattered, recorded for posterity.
Take a look at this box score and you'll notice a few anomalies. 1) Eric Young is flirting with an .800 OPS. 2) Felix Heredia has a 1.29 ERA. 3) Kyle Farnsworth won as a starter and 4) Shane Andrews has a 1.148 OPS and a .286 average.
Andrews is the perfect example of the ineptitude of Ed Lynch as a General Manager. In order to understand the process that lead the Cubs to sign Shane to play third base, you have to go back to before the 1998 season. Before 1998 the team Lynch had put together was widely panned as a mottled collection of aging veterans and untested rookies. The New York Times sneered at a roster of "oddballs and castaways." After 1997's 0-14 start and 68-94 record the outlook was bleak. Then the season began and a combination of two freaks-of-nature (Wood, Sosa) and several surprise years by veterans Kevin Tapani, Steve Trachsel, Mickey Morandini, Lance Johnson, and late-season pick up Gary Gaetti, the Cubs managed a miraculous 90-73 record and a Wild Card championship. Then the playoffs began and the team regressed back to the mean, losing three straight and leaving as quickly as they arrived.
Despite the playoff result, Lynch was, understandably afraid to mess with the roster, and thus the Cubs ignored the warnings of age and injury and entered 1999 with largely the same team, with the huge exception of the injurd Kerry Wood. The results were terrible, as the veterans of the previous year played to their age and the team quickly plummeted to 67-95.
It was after this disaster that Lynch truly failed. Convinced that the core of 1998 team would result in a return to winning form under new manager Don Baylor, Lynch chased no big free agents and made only minor tweaks to his roster, replacing Lance Johnson with Damon Buford, Morandini for Eric Young, Jose Hernandez/Jeff Blauser for Ricky Gutierrez, and last but not least leaving Shane Andrews as the starter at third base for 2000. Andrews had been acquired late in the 1999 season after the Cubs had released Gaetti and the Expos had finally given up on Andrews, their former first round pick, and released him. The Cubs picked Andrews off waivers and played him in 19 September games and were impressed with the power he showed by posting 5 homers and a .537 slugging percentage with 14 runs batted in.
The Cubs had decided that this 19 game stretch was enough of a sample to ignore his terrible career .220/.298/.421 line and named him the starter going into the 2000 season, with Willie Greene, who hit .204 the previous year, as their only insurance in case Andrews faltered or his injury history plagued him again.
Thus our story brings us round to the 2000 season, Lynch's last hurrah. Lynch's status quo approach to team-building results in a 65-97 season surprising no one but Lynch. Andrews displayed the inconsistency and injury problems that had plagued his career with the Expos as a hot start that had him among the league leaders in homers in April faded to mediocrity and a back injury sidelined him for much of the summer. His final line for the 2000 season:
.229 avg., 14 homers, 39 rbis, .329 OBP, .474 Slug.
Lynch himself seemed to realize that his tenure as GM had dissolved into an abject failure and attempted to resign as early as May. His brilliant boss, Andy MacPhail told him to wait and see if the team would turnaround from their 20-33 start. After that regressed to a 35-51 mark at the all star break, MacPhail mercifully accepted Lynch's resignation, and Ed and Andrews were both gone by the end of the 2000 season.
Andrews disappeared from MLB after the 2000 season, with just one 7 game stint with the Red Sox in 2002 before his retirement.
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Height: 6'1'' Weight:215 lbs (Lies!)
Years as a Cub: 2000
The moment his back shattered, recorded for posterity.
Take a look at this box score and you'll notice a few anomalies. 1) Eric Young is flirting with an .800 OPS. 2) Felix Heredia has a 1.29 ERA. 3) Kyle Farnsworth won as a starter and 4) Shane Andrews has a 1.148 OPS and a .286 average.
Andrews is the perfect example of the ineptitude of Ed Lynch as a General Manager. In order to understand the process that lead the Cubs to sign Shane to play third base, you have to go back to before the 1998 season. Before 1998 the team Lynch had put together was widely panned as a mottled collection of aging veterans and untested rookies. The New York Times sneered at a roster of "oddballs and castaways." After 1997's 0-14 start and 68-94 record the outlook was bleak. Then the season began and a combination of two freaks-of-nature (Wood, Sosa) and several surprise years by veterans Kevin Tapani, Steve Trachsel, Mickey Morandini, Lance Johnson, and late-season pick up Gary Gaetti, the Cubs managed a miraculous 90-73 record and a Wild Card championship. Then the playoffs began and the team regressed back to the mean, losing three straight and leaving as quickly as they arrived.
Despite the playoff result, Lynch was, understandably afraid to mess with the roster, and thus the Cubs ignored the warnings of age and injury and entered 1999 with largely the same team, with the huge exception of the injurd Kerry Wood. The results were terrible, as the veterans of the previous year played to their age and the team quickly plummeted to 67-95.
It was after this disaster that Lynch truly failed. Convinced that the core of 1998 team would result in a return to winning form under new manager Don Baylor, Lynch chased no big free agents and made only minor tweaks to his roster, replacing Lance Johnson with Damon Buford, Morandini for Eric Young, Jose Hernandez/Jeff Blauser for Ricky Gutierrez, and last but not least leaving Shane Andrews as the starter at third base for 2000. Andrews had been acquired late in the 1999 season after the Cubs had released Gaetti and the Expos had finally given up on Andrews, their former first round pick, and released him. The Cubs picked Andrews off waivers and played him in 19 September games and were impressed with the power he showed by posting 5 homers and a .537 slugging percentage with 14 runs batted in.
The Cubs had decided that this 19 game stretch was enough of a sample to ignore his terrible career .220/.298/.421 line and named him the starter going into the 2000 season, with Willie Greene, who hit .204 the previous year, as their only insurance in case Andrews faltered or his injury history plagued him again.
Thus our story brings us round to the 2000 season, Lynch's last hurrah. Lynch's status quo approach to team-building results in a 65-97 season surprising no one but Lynch. Andrews displayed the inconsistency and injury problems that had plagued his career with the Expos as a hot start that had him among the league leaders in homers in April faded to mediocrity and a back injury sidelined him for much of the summer. His final line for the 2000 season:
.229 avg., 14 homers, 39 rbis, .329 OBP, .474 Slug.
Lynch himself seemed to realize that his tenure as GM had dissolved into an abject failure and attempted to resign as early as May. His brilliant boss, Andy MacPhail told him to wait and see if the team would turnaround from their 20-33 start. After that regressed to a 35-51 mark at the all star break, MacPhail mercifully accepted Lynch's resignation, and Ed and Andrews were both gone by the end of the 2000 season.
Andrews disappeared from MLB after the 2000 season, with just one 7 game stint with the Red Sox in 2002 before his retirement.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Your SKO Random Third Basemen of the Day: Carmen Fanzone
Name: Carmen Fanzone
Ht: 6'0 Wt:200
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 1971-1974
Is it bad that this is EXACTLY what I pictured a man named Carmen Fanzone looking like?
In 1971, Carmen Fanzone arrived fresh-faced in the city of Chicago after spending his rookie year in Boston. The Cubs had acquired the young Fanzone and his superb mustache in the previous off season for the purpose of spelling the aging Ron Santo at third base. And that was what Fanzone did his first three seasons in Chicago, as he played only sparingly (12 games) in 1971, with greater playing time (86 games in '72, 64 in '73) in Santo's last two seasons in Chicago. After Santo was traded to the White Sox, Fanzone spent the 1974 season backing up Bill Madlock, and retired after a miserable performance in 65 games that year.
While one could look at Fanzone's time in Chicago and write him off as another poor hitting (.223 avg., .313 OBP career), weak-fielding (career .896 fielding % at third) third sacker, we at Start Kyle Orton like to choose something to honor about each third baseman on this list, and I personally would like to nominate Fanzone for the Finest Mustache in Cubs History. I mean look at that thing. That mustache alone lead the Cubs to ignore his weak numbers for four seasons. Were you going to ask Whitey Lockman to look that superb nose-neighbor in the eye and tell him he had to leave? Its the perfect combination of hair and style. Its not bushy, yet its full to the brim with perfectly manicured lip locks. Its certainly not a porn star, handle bar, or math teacher mustache. That mustache meant business, and Carmen Fanzone rode it to the highest of heights, the position of back up third baseman for a second division team.
After retirement, Carmen took his name and his mustache to the only arena that made sense: Jazz music. The accomplished flugelhorn player now resides with wife Sue Raney, a four time Grammy-nominated jazz vocalist, in Los Angeles California, and he's apparently very important to Dr. David L. Fishman.
Ht: 6'0 Wt:200
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 1971-1974
Is it bad that this is EXACTLY what I pictured a man named Carmen Fanzone looking like?
In 1971, Carmen Fanzone arrived fresh-faced in the city of Chicago after spending his rookie year in Boston. The Cubs had acquired the young Fanzone and his superb mustache in the previous off season for the purpose of spelling the aging Ron Santo at third base. And that was what Fanzone did his first three seasons in Chicago, as he played only sparingly (12 games) in 1971, with greater playing time (86 games in '72, 64 in '73) in Santo's last two seasons in Chicago. After Santo was traded to the White Sox, Fanzone spent the 1974 season backing up Bill Madlock, and retired after a miserable performance in 65 games that year.
While one could look at Fanzone's time in Chicago and write him off as another poor hitting (.223 avg., .313 OBP career), weak-fielding (career .896 fielding % at third) third sacker, we at Start Kyle Orton like to choose something to honor about each third baseman on this list, and I personally would like to nominate Fanzone for the Finest Mustache in Cubs History. I mean look at that thing. That mustache alone lead the Cubs to ignore his weak numbers for four seasons. Were you going to ask Whitey Lockman to look that superb nose-neighbor in the eye and tell him he had to leave? Its the perfect combination of hair and style. Its not bushy, yet its full to the brim with perfectly manicured lip locks. Its certainly not a porn star, handle bar, or math teacher mustache. That mustache meant business, and Carmen Fanzone rode it to the highest of heights, the position of back up third baseman for a second division team.
After retirement, Carmen took his name and his mustache to the only arena that made sense: Jazz music. The accomplished flugelhorn player now resides with wife Sue Raney, a four time Grammy-nominated jazz vocalist, in Los Angeles California, and he's apparently very important to Dr. David L. Fishman.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Not Just About UFC and Video Games!
My recent absences from this site due mostly to work, girlfriend, busy schedule, etc. have resulted in far fewer discussions of the Best Team in Baseball and Iggins! subsequent return to this place has lead to the posting of articles about UFC, of all things. Now, I enjoy the brutal beating of a man as much as the next guy, if not more so. But really conjecture about a fighting league is both pointless and boring in my book. Nothing really matters until two guys step into the ring and box each other out. I really don't give a shit if some company maybe will possibly if everything potentially goes well soon start making T-Shirts for a motley assortment of Slavic and Latino cage fighters. With that said, at least the boy adds a different Perspective to this place. Anywho, on to baseball:
- God Fucking Damn the White Sox. Somehow a team that really is nothing more than a middle of the pack talent level team that's barely keeping a 1 1/2 game lead in the shittiest division in baseball wanders into Wrigley Field, trashes the Cub's stadium, players, and World Series drought (yeah, its a 100 years, but before 2005 you went 88 fucking years. Let's not point fucking fingers), gets its ass handed to it on a silver platter and still walks away unrepentant and lead by a gigantic douche.
-God Damn Joe Morgan. One more comment about Banks Boulevard and I will personally hunt you down and cast your body into a place that will soon be called "Bloody Joe's Ravine".
-God Damn the cliff jumpers who let the first three game losing streak of the season and a mild, two start injury to Carlos Zambrano make them utter such heresy as the phrases "cursed" or "Cubbie occurence." Get over it and check the standings people. Take a deep breath, then jump off anyways. I really could care less.
-Iggins! and I both work at a PGA Golf Course, and our pro tournament is July 7-13, so don't expect to hear much out of our overworked, irritable, miserable asses.
- God Fucking Damn the White Sox. Somehow a team that really is nothing more than a middle of the pack talent level team that's barely keeping a 1 1/2 game lead in the shittiest division in baseball wanders into Wrigley Field, trashes the Cub's stadium, players, and World Series drought (yeah, its a 100 years, but before 2005 you went 88 fucking years. Let's not point fucking fingers), gets its ass handed to it on a silver platter and still walks away unrepentant and lead by a gigantic douche.
-God Damn Joe Morgan. One more comment about Banks Boulevard and I will personally hunt you down and cast your body into a place that will soon be called "Bloody Joe's Ravine".
-God Damn the cliff jumpers who let the first three game losing streak of the season and a mild, two start injury to Carlos Zambrano make them utter such heresy as the phrases "cursed" or "Cubbie occurence." Get over it and check the standings people. Take a deep breath, then jump off anyways. I really could care less.
-Iggins! and I both work at a PGA Golf Course, and our pro tournament is July 7-13, so don't expect to hear much out of our overworked, irritable, miserable asses.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Madden Ratings!
The Madden 09 Ratings for the Chicago Bears are as follows:
So, essentially, we have a great defense, Devin Hester, and not much else.
Shockers:
-Matt Forte is rated an 80 which is above my expectations.
-Craig Steltz is rated a full 10 points under Brandon McGowan.
-Speaking of whom, Brandon McGowan is an 83?! That may be a bit... high.
-G-Reg is still rated below Dez... even if it IS only by one point.
-Who the fuck is our other guard...?
Also, the "big" UFC announcement fell through; it was supposed to be that MSG would host some UFC events, but the NY legislature didn't pass it.
QB:
Rex Grossman-79 overall-(95 throw power, 84 throw accuracy)
Kyle Orton-76 overall-
RB:
Matt Forte-80 overall- (92 speed, 90 strength, 90 agility, 90 trucking)
Adrian Peterson-78 overall-
WR:
Marty Booker-82 overall-
Devin Hester-81 overall-(100 speed, 99 acceleration)
Earl Bennett-79 overall-
Brandon Lloyd-73 overall-
C:
Olin Kreutz-93 overall-
G:
Roberto Garza-85 overall-
T:
John Tait-85 overall-
Chris Williams-79 overall-
TE:
Desmond Clark-86 overall-
Greg Olsen-85 overall-
MLB:
Brian Urlacher-98 overall-
OLB:
Lance Briggs-95 overall-
Hunter Hillenmeyer-79 overall-
DT:
Tommie Harris-96 overall-
Dusty Dvoracek-79 overall-
DE:
Adewale Ogunleye-89 overall-
Alex Brown-85 overall-
Mark Anderson-84 overall-
Dan Bazuin-76 overall-
CB:
Nathan Vasher-91 overall-
Charles Tillman-91 overall-
Danieal Manning-78 overall-
Ricky Manning Jr.-76 overall-
FS:
Mike Brown-87 overall-
SS:
Brandon McGowan-83 overall-
Craig Steltz-73 overall-
K:
Robbie Gould-93 overall- (92 kick power, 96 kick accuracy)
P:
Brad Maynard-82 overall-
So, essentially, we have a great defense, Devin Hester, and not much else.
Shockers:
-Matt Forte is rated an 80 which is above my expectations.
-Craig Steltz is rated a full 10 points under Brandon McGowan.
-Speaking of whom, Brandon McGowan is an 83?! That may be a bit... high.
-G-Reg is still rated below Dez... even if it IS only by one point.
-Who the fuck is our other guard...?
Also, the "big" UFC announcement fell through; it was supposed to be that MSG would host some UFC events, but the NY legislature didn't pass it.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
UFC Update, or UFCvania: [Insert Noun] of [Insert Adjective]
-Dana White has been a good man/owner of the most purely badass organization on the planet and debunked some of the rumors that have been swirling about his big announcement on Thursday. HE WILL NOT ANNOUNCE:
- That Floyd Mayweather Jr. will be joining the UFC
- That the UFC has partnered with the WWE
- That Fox or ABC have signed TV deals with the UFC
so, if we are keeping track, three of the four rumors I posted are still on the board. And whoever thought those first two things were a possibility is either under 7 years old or is a dumbass. REMEMBER, still a possibility:
- Anderson Silva to Light Heavyweight
- Affliction has been absorbed by the UFC, and with it Fedor Emelianenko.
- Nike/Adidas has signed on to make official UFC gear.
"Bitch, I've whipped up media frenzies in less time. Kiss the ring."
- That Floyd Mayweather Jr. will be joining the UFC
- That the UFC has partnered with the WWE
- That Fox or ABC have signed TV deals with the UFC
so, if we are keeping track, three of the four rumors I posted are still on the board. And whoever thought those first two things were a possibility is either under 7 years old or is a dumbass. REMEMBER, still a possibility:
- Anderson Silva to Light Heavyweight
- Affliction has been absorbed by the UFC, and with it Fedor Emelianenko.
- Nike/Adidas has signed on to make official UFC gear.
"Bitch, I've whipped up media frenzies in less time. Kiss the ring."
Monday, June 9, 2008
Happy Trails, until we meet again.
Two Chicago Bears are out of a job today, one because he's a piece of shit and one because he finally had it with his back and shitty quarterbacks.
Cedric Benson has been released! This means many things, 1) The Bears might have a good run game now, 2) ANOTHER Bear RB drafted in the first round has officially been a major bust, and 3) I can officially hate Cedric Benson full-on.
I remember when we drafted Benson with the fourth pick overall. We already had Thomas Jones, and we needed players at several other positions, namely linebacker and wide receiver, (We didn't know Lance Briggs was so good back then) but Angelo decided to pull the "best available player" pick instead. As I have always done with Jerry Angelo decisions I yelled "WHAT THE FUCK?" at the TV and bitched about it for the rest of the day. Oftentimes I come to regret ever doubting Mr. Angelo.
Not this time.
The first thing Benson did as a Bear was cry on national television. That did nothing to alleviate my blood-boiling rage. Then he decided to hold out of training camp for more money. In retrospect this seems like a good decision for Benson, because he obviously won't be able to play his way to more money. After his little holdout he was so woefully incompetent (and Thomas Jones looked so good) that he barely got any playing time. When he finally showed improvement he got injured. (Remind you of someone?)
Next season he was supposed to emerge as a standout running back. He had a full training camp under his belt. Then he got injured in practice. PRACTICE. We talkin bout PRACTICE. NOT A GAME. Practice. So TJ was once again the starter heading into the season.
For the majority of the glorious (sometimes) 2006 Super Bowl season Benson shared carries with Thomas Jones and the Bears made it all the way to the Super Bowl, and with Benson finally looking like he was becoming a good RB, he got injured again. IN THE FUCKING SUPER BOWL.
I don't need to tell you what happened in that game.
The next season Benson looked like shit, and his attitude didn't help him with the fans. His stupid glazed-over expression made it seem like he didn't care about football or the Bears, and it is very likely he didn't. He got injured AGAIN, and recently was arrested twice in a month for alcohol related offenses. He was cut today by the Bears, making room for Matt "The Juggernaut" Forte. Good riddance.
The better news (in a way) was that Marcus Robinson retired as a Bear today.
I remember very few players as fondly as I remember Marcus Robinson. He was the only good receiver on the team when the menage-a-trois of Shane Mathews, Jim Miller, and Cade McNown were busy fucking the team and not each-other. If you can remember a fantastic catch made between 1998 and 2002 it was probably Marcus, and if you doubt it was fantastic just remember that he managed to catch Cade McNown passes. Cade fucking McNown. Back problems would haunt him for much of the later parts of his career as he was bounced around NFC North teams and the Ravens, but I choose to remember him as the great wide receiver he was as a youngin'. Adios, Brah.
Cedric Benson has been released! This means many things, 1) The Bears might have a good run game now, 2) ANOTHER Bear RB drafted in the first round has officially been a major bust, and 3) I can officially hate Cedric Benson full-on.
I remember when we drafted Benson with the fourth pick overall. We already had Thomas Jones, and we needed players at several other positions, namely linebacker and wide receiver, (We didn't know Lance Briggs was so good back then) but Angelo decided to pull the "best available player" pick instead. As I have always done with Jerry Angelo decisions I yelled "WHAT THE FUCK?" at the TV and bitched about it for the rest of the day. Oftentimes I come to regret ever doubting Mr. Angelo.
Not this time.
The first thing Benson did as a Bear was cry on national television. That did nothing to alleviate my blood-boiling rage. Then he decided to hold out of training camp for more money. In retrospect this seems like a good decision for Benson, because he obviously won't be able to play his way to more money. After his little holdout he was so woefully incompetent (and Thomas Jones looked so good) that he barely got any playing time. When he finally showed improvement he got injured. (Remind you of someone?)
Next season he was supposed to emerge as a standout running back. He had a full training camp under his belt. Then he got injured in practice. PRACTICE. We talkin bout PRACTICE. NOT A GAME. Practice. So TJ was once again the starter heading into the season.
For the majority of the glorious (sometimes) 2006 Super Bowl season Benson shared carries with Thomas Jones and the Bears made it all the way to the Super Bowl, and with Benson finally looking like he was becoming a good RB, he got injured again. IN THE FUCKING SUPER BOWL.
I don't need to tell you what happened in that game.
The next season Benson looked like shit, and his attitude didn't help him with the fans. His stupid glazed-over expression made it seem like he didn't care about football or the Bears, and it is very likely he didn't. He got injured AGAIN, and recently was arrested twice in a month for alcohol related offenses. He was cut today by the Bears, making room for Matt "The Juggernaut" Forte. Good riddance.
The better news (in a way) was that Marcus Robinson retired as a Bear today.
I remember very few players as fondly as I remember Marcus Robinson. He was the only good receiver on the team when the menage-a-trois of Shane Mathews, Jim Miller, and Cade McNown were busy fucking the team and not each-other. If you can remember a fantastic catch made between 1998 and 2002 it was probably Marcus, and if you doubt it was fantastic just remember that he managed to catch Cade McNown passes. Cade fucking McNown. Back problems would haunt him for much of the later parts of his career as he was bounced around NFC North teams and the Ravens, but I choose to remember him as the great wide receiver he was as a youngin'. Adios, Brah.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
UFC: It's more interesting than you.
C
Ahhhhh, back again, and with much love and commentary on the UFC and the MMA world in general, my children. I could give you an essay on why MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) is a legitimate sport that belongs on network TV (something that, among others, Blog-hater Tony Kornheiser has questioned) but instead I will simply say this: if you like boxing and for some reason you have rationalized the idea that boxing is higher on the intellectual spectrum than the UFC: you are a moron. Tony's explanation was that "You can win a boxing match by being a better boxer, and in MMA you can't do that, you just have to beat the hell out of the other guy."
...
...
...
Okay Tony. So somehow you can prove you are a better boxer without throwing a punch? Or maybe you're saying that boxers can fight with their minds. Honestly, it sounds like Kornheiser isn't even aware that there are judges decisions in MMA. Or that the participants fight for substantially less time than boxers. Or that there have been more boxing related deaths than MMA related deaths. Or that just walking into the octagon with a strategy of "punch and kick opponent" will get you beaten like a naughty puppet. Honestly, Tony, watch a fucking match before you open your mouth.
Disregarding logic and making money for it since 1948
ON TO MMA NEWS: Elite XC on CBS was awful. The first two fights looked like 12 year old school fights, the women's match looked like rock 'em sock 'em robots (They knew three moves each: Carano used a straight kick, a left hook, and a right jab, and her opponent used a high kick and two jabs), the best fighter (maybe the ONLY good fighter in Elite XC) Robbie Lawler seemed so frightened by the crowd and the TV viewers that he refused to take the fight to the ground and managed to almost get beaten before the first (and not last) very suspicious stoppage gave him the win, and Kimbo Slice looked absolutely heinous before the referee (with a fat stack of $100 bills in his pocket) stopped the fight. I hope the people who watched heard the announcers (and the rest of the media) saying how the UFC had much better fighters and fights, because this event left such a bad taste in my mouth I vomited like I was possessed by Satan.
That corn beef did not sit well with the Lord of Darkness
Matt Hughes is old and it showed yesterday at UFC 85. He also looked bored, like he didn't really have any interest in fighting Thiago, mainly because the only person he wants to beat up on the planet right now is Matt Serra. Not to take anything away from Thiago Alves, but Matt Hughes looked just like Chuck Liddell did versus Keith Jardine: he just didn't care.
Rumors are fun, and there is a big, juicy, prime rib rumor floating around on the internet, courtesy of Dana White, the outspoken(almost to a fault) president of the UFC. ZE QUOTE!:
“There’s something no one else has heard. You have no idea some of the stuff that we have planned. I’m going to make an announcement next week that is going to blow people’s minds. That deal is done, but my employees don’t even know yet. I’m renting out a place next Thursday and I’m going to tell them. Then we’ll make the announcement later that day. It’s an indicator of where this business is going over the next five years.”
if that doesn't generate excitement in a very Dana-like way then perhaps you need to lay off the weed, Snoop. In other places in the rumor he already said that Chuck Liddell (#3 Light Heavyweight in the world-MMAweekly.com) will fight Mauricio "Shogun" Rua (#2 Light Heavyweight in the world-MMAweekly.com) in Atlanta at UFC 88, and that multiple big announcements will be made. The most agreed upon rumors out there (however much you want to trust them) are:
1-- The UFC has signed a deal to air their events on either ABC/ESPN/Cthulucorp OR Fox. This would make sense if the thing he said about the announcement being -"an indicator of where this business is going over the next five years.”- is true.
2-- Anderson "The Spider" Silva is moving to the Light Heavyweight division. This has been almost confirmed, and considering the lack of talent in the middleweight division right now it wouldn't be any surprise. Of course, when you're the best fighter on the planet (and the fusion of Bruce Lee, Tony Jaa, a velociraptor, and a tornado) it's always gonna be hard to find good competition.
3-- Affliction's new promotion and with it, the #1 Heavyweight in the world and current holder of a 23 match win streak, Fedor "The Last Emperor" Emelianenko, has signed a deal to co-promote and share fighters with the UFC (which more than likely means Affliction will be consumed by the UFC and will become a major advertising partner. Think every fighter gets a shirt.) and that the UFC is bringing back weight class-tournaments. Personally, I've been clamoring for tournaments to make a comeback for years and I would love to see this happen. Also, as an owner of 13 Affliction shirts, I'd love to see 'em connected to the UFC once again.
4-- Nike/Adidas has signed on to make official UFC gear, including designing "jerseys" for UFC fighters. This is the least founded and mostfar-stretched rumor, especially if the above rumor is true, but it is a possibility.
As to the validity of these rumors, you can take 'em or leave 'em. If any of these things happen,I'll be happy. If more than two of these things happen I'll need a clean change of underwear. Stay tuned and check out UFC.com on June 12th to see what happens.
PREDICTIONS for what's next in the UFC:
- The winner of the UFC 86 fight between Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Forrest Griffin will fight the winner of a UFC 88 matchup between Chuck Liddell and Mauricio Rua. Too many good storylines here for it to be otherwise.
-Anderson Silva's first Light Heavyweight fight will be against either Wanderlei Silva or Lyoto Machida and if he wins that his next fight will be a title shot.
-Georges St. Pierre will win his next three matches over Jon Fitch, Josh Koscheck, and B.J. Penn in order.
-Brock Lesnar will show his determination by shocking a cocky Heath Herring at UFC 87.
Expect more from Myself and Red for a good long time. No school+hard labor=unwinding by ranting on the interwebs.
Ahhhhh, back again, and with much love and commentary on the UFC and the MMA world in general, my children. I could give you an essay on why MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) is a legitimate sport that belongs on network TV (something that, among others, Blog-hater Tony Kornheiser has questioned) but instead I will simply say this: if you like boxing and for some reason you have rationalized the idea that boxing is higher on the intellectual spectrum than the UFC: you are a moron. Tony's explanation was that "You can win a boxing match by being a better boxer, and in MMA you can't do that, you just have to beat the hell out of the other guy."
...
...
...
Okay Tony. So somehow you can prove you are a better boxer without throwing a punch? Or maybe you're saying that boxers can fight with their minds. Honestly, it sounds like Kornheiser isn't even aware that there are judges decisions in MMA. Or that the participants fight for substantially less time than boxers. Or that there have been more boxing related deaths than MMA related deaths. Or that just walking into the octagon with a strategy of "punch and kick opponent" will get you beaten like a naughty puppet. Honestly, Tony, watch a fucking match before you open your mouth.
Disregarding logic and making money for it since 1948
ON TO MMA NEWS: Elite XC on CBS was awful. The first two fights looked like 12 year old school fights, the women's match looked like rock 'em sock 'em robots (They knew three moves each: Carano used a straight kick, a left hook, and a right jab, and her opponent used a high kick and two jabs), the best fighter (maybe the ONLY good fighter in Elite XC) Robbie Lawler seemed so frightened by the crowd and the TV viewers that he refused to take the fight to the ground and managed to almost get beaten before the first (and not last) very suspicious stoppage gave him the win, and Kimbo Slice looked absolutely heinous before the referee (with a fat stack of $100 bills in his pocket) stopped the fight. I hope the people who watched heard the announcers (and the rest of the media) saying how the UFC had much better fighters and fights, because this event left such a bad taste in my mouth I vomited like I was possessed by Satan.
That corn beef did not sit well with the Lord of Darkness
Matt Hughes is old and it showed yesterday at UFC 85. He also looked bored, like he didn't really have any interest in fighting Thiago, mainly because the only person he wants to beat up on the planet right now is Matt Serra. Not to take anything away from Thiago Alves, but Matt Hughes looked just like Chuck Liddell did versus Keith Jardine: he just didn't care.
Rumors are fun, and there is a big, juicy, prime rib rumor floating around on the internet, courtesy of Dana White, the outspoken(almost to a fault) president of the UFC. ZE QUOTE!:
“There’s something no one else has heard. You have no idea some of the stuff that we have planned. I’m going to make an announcement next week that is going to blow people’s minds. That deal is done, but my employees don’t even know yet. I’m renting out a place next Thursday and I’m going to tell them. Then we’ll make the announcement later that day. It’s an indicator of where this business is going over the next five years.”
if that doesn't generate excitement in a very Dana-like way then perhaps you need to lay off the weed, Snoop. In other places in the rumor he already said that Chuck Liddell (#3 Light Heavyweight in the world-MMAweekly.com) will fight Mauricio "Shogun" Rua (#2 Light Heavyweight in the world-MMAweekly.com) in Atlanta at UFC 88, and that multiple big announcements will be made. The most agreed upon rumors out there (however much you want to trust them) are:
1-- The UFC has signed a deal to air their events on either ABC/ESPN/Cthulucorp OR Fox. This would make sense if the thing he said about the announcement being -"an indicator of where this business is going over the next five years.”- is true.
2-- Anderson "The Spider" Silva is moving to the Light Heavyweight division. This has been almost confirmed, and considering the lack of talent in the middleweight division right now it wouldn't be any surprise. Of course, when you're the best fighter on the planet (and the fusion of Bruce Lee, Tony Jaa, a velociraptor, and a tornado) it's always gonna be hard to find good competition.
3-- Affliction's new promotion and with it, the #1 Heavyweight in the world and current holder of a 23 match win streak, Fedor "The Last Emperor" Emelianenko, has signed a deal to co-promote and share fighters with the UFC (which more than likely means Affliction will be consumed by the UFC and will become a major advertising partner. Think every fighter gets a shirt.) and that the UFC is bringing back weight class-tournaments. Personally, I've been clamoring for tournaments to make a comeback for years and I would love to see this happen. Also, as an owner of 13 Affliction shirts, I'd love to see 'em connected to the UFC once again.
4-- Nike/Adidas has signed on to make official UFC gear, including designing "jerseys" for UFC fighters. This is the least founded and mostfar-stretched rumor, especially if the above rumor is true, but it is a possibility.
As to the validity of these rumors, you can take 'em or leave 'em. If any of these things happen,I'll be happy. If more than two of these things happen I'll need a clean change of underwear. Stay tuned and check out UFC.com on June 12th to see what happens.
PREDICTIONS for what's next in the UFC:
- The winner of the UFC 86 fight between Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Forrest Griffin will fight the winner of a UFC 88 matchup between Chuck Liddell and Mauricio Rua. Too many good storylines here for it to be otherwise.
-Anderson Silva's first Light Heavyweight fight will be against either Wanderlei Silva or Lyoto Machida and if he wins that his next fight will be a title shot.
-Georges St. Pierre will win his next three matches over Jon Fitch, Josh Koscheck, and B.J. Penn in order.
-Brock Lesnar will show his determination by shocking a cocky Heath Herring at UFC 87.
Expect more from Myself and Red for a good long time. No school+hard labor=unwinding by ranting on the interwebs.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Dusty Baker- Lover of Boys.
This just can't wait till Monday. I know very well that hilariously critiquing the stupid fluff pieces the media writes is more of a job for HJE, and they do it better than anyone in the business, but please, just please, let us take a look at this ESPN shlop about Our Man Dusty.
"Baker sold on Reds' youthful transition"
Already this looks promising. How many sentences till a Hank Aaron reference?
I'm just gonna hit this point by point if this bastard wants to give Dusty credit for all of this.
- Votto. Baker went with Hatteberg as the Opening Day starter and probably wanted nothing more than for Votto to flounder so he could go with veteran experience, Brah. Early in spring training Baker criticized Votto, who had a .385 career OBP in the minors to go along with a .861 OPS, for not swinging enough. I mean if you have a kid who actually shows plate discipline in the minors and in his 24 game call-up last year (.321/4/17/.360/.548), that's practically a ready-made major leaguer, you might as well fuck with his whole approach, right? That's just a sound educational practice.
-Volquez. I won't deny the kid's been lights out this year, but the criticism of Baker and young pitchers hasn't been his reluctance to play them, but his overuse of their arms, and in 9 of his 12 starts Volquez, whose young arm has never been subjected to more than 144 innings in a single season, has thrown at least 100 pitches or more, and recently Baker used the young righty for 39 pitches in relief during an extra inning game, less than two full days after his last start, in which he'd thrown 92 pitches. Tender, loving care from Headmaster Baker.
-Homer Bailey. You mean the Homer Bailey who was inexplicably left in the minors due to "seasoning" reasons, while similarly untested rookies Volquez and Johnny Cueto were handed rotation spots, and while veterans Fogg (9.85 ERA), Bronson Arroyo (5.61 ERA), and Matt Belisle (7.28 ERA) were all tried for two months before Bailey was called up? Nice job on the quality start though, Homer, we were all impressed by your 1:4 Strikeout to Walk Ratio.
-Brandon Phillips. I'm sorry, is Dusty Baker seriously being given credit for playing Brandon Phillips? The guy who made his major league debut in 2002? Who has been entrenched as the Reds starter at 2nd base since 2006? Who hit 30 homers last year? Even Dusty couldn't justify Not playing the guy. I didn't realize 27 year olds who've already been forsaken by two other organizations and now qualify as veterans on MLB's own arbitration schedule could be considered young players in need of Dusty's nurturing hand. In that case maybe we can shuck the responsibility for his mediocre.328 OBP on Dusty as well.
- Jay Bruce. The Crux of the matter. Yeah the kid's a stud, something Baseball America, Sports Illustrated, the entire Reds fan base, and everyone But Dusty Baker knew. Dusty was the one that played Korey Patterson in Bruce's place for two months while Bruce posted a 1.023 OPS in AAA. As a matter of fact Bruce's slugging percentage in the minors (.630) was higher than Korey's OPS in the majors (.573), but we're supposed to believe Dusty was Yearning to have Bruce on his team? Do you think that the GM or anybody in the Reds organization would have hesitated to bring Bruce up if Dusty had so much as hinted that he wanted that to happen? Or was Dusty leaving Korey in the lead off spot for 28 games to force the front office's hand? Does Anybody believe that?? Also, I really don't want to hear anymore news involving Bruce gushing alongside Griffey.
-Also, lets mention something this article of shining praise toward the Reds young talent glosses over. Remember the Unhittable Johnny Cueto? Why wasn't he mentioned? Could it be his 5.11 ERA? Are we supposed to hand Dusty credit for the Dead Ball Era statistics of Volquez and blame Cueto's struggles on himself? That, sir, shall not pass.
""It's surreal," Bruce said. "Like I've been telling people, there's only one Ken Griffey Jr. There's never going to be anyone who takes his place or steals spotlights from him. It's a pleasure and an honor to play on the same team with him and watch him approach history."
"Even the trade for which Krivsky was most vilified -- Austin Kearns and Felipe Lopez to Washington for bullpen help -- is looking much better in hindsight. Lefty Bill Bray has pitched well in relief, and starter Daryl Thompson, 5-2 with a 1.55 ERA in the minors, could be on the verge of joining Volquez, Johnny Cueto and Bailey as youthful sidekicks to Aaron Harang in the rotation.
"For those who suggest he's anti-youth, Baker points out that he has run a baseball school in California the past 25 years and has a 9-year-old son, Darren, scampering around the house. Though Baker's teams in San Francisco generally were veteran-oriented, he'd find a place for a Royce Clayton here and a Marvin Benard or Darren Lewis there if they were ready to contribute. He did the same in Chicago for Matt Murton and Ronny Cedeno."
What the hell does Darren Baker have to do with playing young players? Is Dusty gonna throw him out in center? Jesus Christ. Thats just... I can't even justify a response to that. Also, are you using Royce Clayton, Marvin Benard, and Darren Lewis in DEFENSE of Dusty? And yeah, we remember how he found a place for Matt Murton. Remember 2005 when our outfield was a total shit hole thanks to Corey's .212 average and the parade of suck in left that was Jason Dubois, Todd Hollandsworth, Jody Gerut, and Matt Lawton, while Murton was hitting .335? Remember how Dusty sent Murton down to Iowa? Apparently the place Dusty found for him was a hotel in Des Moines.
"Watch all the kids and how they gravitate toward me," Baker said. "The people I get along best with, honestly, are elderly people and young people. The people that don't like me most of the time are people my own age, because I don't think like them."
So Dusty gets along best with senile old people and kids? Because he thinks more like them? Why am I not surprised.
At 28-32, I'd say he's not making the sale.
I'll skip to the last paragraph of this article since the next three paragraphs of an article about the team's youth movement are inexplicably about re-signing Griffey or Adam Dunn.
"As Griffey prepares to depart -- and Dunn ponders the possibility -- Baker can take solace in the presence of Bruce, Volquez and other talented young players who are ready to take their places. Cincinnati's bridge to nowhere has been replaced by a bridge to the future, and Uncle Dusty is perfectly at home in his role as project foreman."
Uncle Dusty? Isn't there some kind of taboo regarding calling African-Americans Uncle? I don't understand the premise of this paragraph? The bridge was always there. Krivsky built the fucking bridge. The bridge to the future is always a bridge to the future. Now that those players are ready for the majors that doesn't mean that the bridge just suddenly appeared. Dusty Baker had nothing to do with this!
"Baker sold on Reds' youthful transition"
Already this looks promising. How many sentences till a Hank Aaron reference?
"If we've learned anything new about Cincinnati manager Dusty Baker in April and May, it's that the man has a flair for child care.
For years, Baker has been characterized as no fan of young players -- a perception that would suggest he's intolerant of mistakes, impatient with growing pains and unwilling to endure the inevitable hiccups that the maturation process brings.
Jim Leyland craves nicotine. Tony La Russa is autocratic. Lou Piniella is a walking Vesuvius. And Dusty Baker, when he's not subjecting young pitchers to overly onerous workloads, is supposedly a "veteran's guy."
Haha. Jim Leyland is the manager who smokes! That must be why his team is losing! Tony La Russa is a Russian Czar? Oh that Lou Piniella, he's angry! Grr! Note the furrowed brow! Furrowed because he's angry!
Seriously, I know we all have fun with the Fiery Lou Piniella jokes, but has anyone noticed how jovial the man is this year? You know, because he's in first, something Leyland, LaRussa, and especially Dusty, can't relate to?
"Not true, claims Baker, who insists this bogus notion was concocted by a San Francisco radio critic -- the same guy who was fired for saying that former Giants manager Felipe Alou had Cream of Wheat for brains. Baker calls the rap against him "asinine," along with an eight-letter word that begins with "bull.""When I came up to the big leagues, I had Hank Aaron not only telling me what to do, but showing me what to do, and that was a blessing," Baker said. "I always yearned for a team full of young kids so I could teach them how to play."
The answer to the question above? Nine. Nine sentences. How often do you think Dusty Yearns for young kids? What would you teach them Dusty? The plate discipline you hammered into Korey's head? The composure you instilled into Mark Prior during Game 7? The importance of setting your feet and not rushing throws that you apparently skipped over in regards to teaching Ronny Cedeno? A complete and total ignorance of the importance of on-base percentage? How chewing a good toothpick can remove you from the responsibility of having to pay attention to your team's pathetic on-field performance?
As Ken Griffey Jr.'s 600-homer watch drags on ad infinitum and Cincinnati muddles along in fifth place in the National League Central, the team's warts are readily apparent. The Reds are tied for third in the league in homers but rank 10th in runs scored. They're also 14th in fielding percentage, 12th in starting pitchers' ERA, and 10-22 on the road."
What in Gods name does a roundabout and constantly evolving fashion mean?? The guy supposedly yearned for a team of young kids. Two months into the season, they're called up. What exactly do you mean by roundabout? Do you mean how Dusty Baker actually wanted nothing to do with the bevy of young talent this team had and left Bruce and Bailey to rot in the minors while he gave Korey (.193 avg.) two months in the lead off spot, kept Josh Fogg (9.85 ERA) in the rotation, and even when you decided to go the minors for outfield help the first time, called up Jerry Hairston? If by roundabout you mean "there's no way Dusty wanted this to happen, but after two months of suck from his guys was forced to accept them in a roundabout way" then yeah, I guess so. But then that negates the whole thesis there, doesn't it? Also, thanks for listing off all the ways that the Reds suck. That truly does give the impression of a class taught by Dusty Baker. Also, whats with the dig at Ken Griffey Jr.'s home run pace? He's got 6 homers, which ranks him tied for 23 out of 72 qualified outfielders. How dare a 39 year old guaranteed Hall of Famer with 599 career homers stretch his quest for 7 home runs on the season into the first week of June. That slothful son-of-a-bitch.
"Still, the fits and starts are easier to take because of the glimpses of the future that were on display during a four-game series in Philadelphia this week:
• Joey Votto, who staked a full-time claim to the first-base job when the Reds released Scott Hatteberg, broke up a Brett Myers no-hitter in the seventh inning and drove in two runs in Cincinnati's only victory in the series Wednesday. Votto's .875 OPS is second to Cubs catcher Geovany Soto's among major league rookies.
• Starter Edinson Volquez, acquired from Texas in a December trade for outfielder Josh Hamilton, looks like an All-Star Game lock with his 8-2 record and 1.32 ERA. Volquez is the first pitcher since Al Benton of the 1945 Detroit Tigers to allow two or fewer runs in his first 12 starts in a season.
• Former No. 1 draft pick Homer Bailey returned from the minors Thursday and threw a quality start in a 5-0 loss.
• Second baseman Brandon Phillips went 2-for-15 against the Phillies, but he stole two bases and is on pace for his second straight 30-homer, 30-steal season.
• Rookie sensation Jay Bruce is hitting .432 despite back-to-back oh-fers against Myers and Cole Hamels. Even as people anoint him as the second coming, Bruce gushes over the privilege of playing alongside Griffey."I'm just gonna hit this point by point if this bastard wants to give Dusty credit for all of this.
- Votto. Baker went with Hatteberg as the Opening Day starter and probably wanted nothing more than for Votto to flounder so he could go with veteran experience, Brah. Early in spring training Baker criticized Votto, who had a .385 career OBP in the minors to go along with a .861 OPS, for not swinging enough. I mean if you have a kid who actually shows plate discipline in the minors and in his 24 game call-up last year (.321/4/17/.360/.548), that's practically a ready-made major leaguer, you might as well fuck with his whole approach, right? That's just a sound educational practice.
-Volquez. I won't deny the kid's been lights out this year, but the criticism of Baker and young pitchers hasn't been his reluctance to play them, but his overuse of their arms, and in 9 of his 12 starts Volquez, whose young arm has never been subjected to more than 144 innings in a single season, has thrown at least 100 pitches or more, and recently Baker used the young righty for 39 pitches in relief during an extra inning game, less than two full days after his last start, in which he'd thrown 92 pitches. Tender, loving care from Headmaster Baker.
-Homer Bailey. You mean the Homer Bailey who was inexplicably left in the minors due to "seasoning" reasons, while similarly untested rookies Volquez and Johnny Cueto were handed rotation spots, and while veterans Fogg (9.85 ERA), Bronson Arroyo (5.61 ERA), and Matt Belisle (7.28 ERA) were all tried for two months before Bailey was called up? Nice job on the quality start though, Homer, we were all impressed by your 1:4 Strikeout to Walk Ratio.
-Brandon Phillips. I'm sorry, is Dusty Baker seriously being given credit for playing Brandon Phillips? The guy who made his major league debut in 2002? Who has been entrenched as the Reds starter at 2nd base since 2006? Who hit 30 homers last year? Even Dusty couldn't justify Not playing the guy. I didn't realize 27 year olds who've already been forsaken by two other organizations and now qualify as veterans on MLB's own arbitration schedule could be considered young players in need of Dusty's nurturing hand. In that case maybe we can shuck the responsibility for his mediocre.328 OBP on Dusty as well.
- Jay Bruce. The Crux of the matter. Yeah the kid's a stud, something Baseball America, Sports Illustrated, the entire Reds fan base, and everyone But Dusty Baker knew. Dusty was the one that played Korey Patterson in Bruce's place for two months while Bruce posted a 1.023 OPS in AAA. As a matter of fact Bruce's slugging percentage in the minors (.630) was higher than Korey's OPS in the majors (.573), but we're supposed to believe Dusty was Yearning to have Bruce on his team? Do you think that the GM or anybody in the Reds organization would have hesitated to bring Bruce up if Dusty had so much as hinted that he wanted that to happen? Or was Dusty leaving Korey in the lead off spot for 28 games to force the front office's hand? Does Anybody believe that?? Also, I really don't want to hear anymore news involving Bruce gushing alongside Griffey.
-Also, lets mention something this article of shining praise toward the Reds young talent glosses over. Remember the Unhittable Johnny Cueto? Why wasn't he mentioned? Could it be his 5.11 ERA? Are we supposed to hand Dusty credit for the Dead Ball Era statistics of Volquez and blame Cueto's struggles on himself? That, sir, shall not pass.
""It's surreal," Bruce said. "Like I've been telling people, there's only one Ken Griffey Jr. There's never going to be anyone who takes his place or steals spotlights from him. It's a pleasure and an honor to play on the same team with him and watch him approach history."
After seven straight losing seasons, the Reds are reaping the benefits of a farm system that has vaulted from 29th to third place in the Baseball America talent rankings. Former general manager Wayne Krivsky, who was fired in April and replaced by Walt Jocketty, did his part to ensure continuity with several astute moves.
True, Krivsky gave out some bad smaller contracts to the likes of Corey Patterson, Mike Stanton and Juan Castro. But he also picked up Phillips, shortstop Jeff Keppinger and reliever Jared Burton for next to nothing, and he acquired Hamilton in the Rule 5 draft and spun him into a deal for Volquez."
Ok. The farm system is solid. Wayne Krivsky did a fine job building it and was handsomely rewarded with his walking papers because the organization threw itself at Walt Jocketty's feet. But lets not blame him for the Corey signing. Patterson was a free agent all fucking winter with Zero suitors, and the Reds had no interest in him. Patterson was signed by the Reds midway through spring training once Dusty had decided he wasn't going to let the young Bruce start the season. So if we're justifying Krivsky's firing based on Dusty's stupidity, well, that too contradicts the point of this article. Then again, Krivsky hired Dusty, so he deserved it."Even the trade for which Krivsky was most vilified -- Austin Kearns and Felipe Lopez to Washington for bullpen help -- is looking much better in hindsight. Lefty Bill Bray has pitched well in relief, and starter Daryl Thompson, 5-2 with a 1.55 ERA in the minors, could be on the verge of joining Volquez, Johnny Cueto and Bailey as youthful sidekicks to Aaron Harang in the rotation.
If you think Baker was oblivious to the surplus of young talent when he signed a three-year deal in October, guess again.
"Heck yeah, that was one of the things that sold me," Baker said. "It was one of the things that sold me [with the Cubs]. Before I go someplace, I ask somebody to research for me what they got coming."
That's right, before Dusty Baker commits to something, he rolls up those arm bands, sets his nose to the grindstone and....has somebody else look stuff up for him. All that reading is hard, Dude. You think Hank Aaron got to the majors looking up stats and stuff?"For those who suggest he's anti-youth, Baker points out that he has run a baseball school in California the past 25 years and has a 9-year-old son, Darren, scampering around the house. Though Baker's teams in San Francisco generally were veteran-oriented, he'd find a place for a Royce Clayton here and a Marvin Benard or Darren Lewis there if they were ready to contribute. He did the same in Chicago for Matt Murton and Ronny Cedeno."
What the hell does Darren Baker have to do with playing young players? Is Dusty gonna throw him out in center? Jesus Christ. Thats just... I can't even justify a response to that. Also, are you using Royce Clayton, Marvin Benard, and Darren Lewis in DEFENSE of Dusty? And yeah, we remember how he found a place for Matt Murton. Remember 2005 when our outfield was a total shit hole thanks to Corey's .212 average and the parade of suck in left that was Jason Dubois, Todd Hollandsworth, Jody Gerut, and Matt Lawton, while Murton was hitting .335? Remember how Dusty sent Murton down to Iowa? Apparently the place Dusty found for him was a hotel in Des Moines.
"Watch all the kids and how they gravitate toward me," Baker said. "The people I get along best with, honestly, are elderly people and young people. The people that don't like me most of the time are people my own age, because I don't think like them."
So Dusty gets along best with senile old people and kids? Because he thinks more like them? Why am I not surprised.
Baker calls everybody "dude" by force of habit, wears wristbands to wipe the sweat off his forehead (not because he's still clinging to his playing days) and chews his trademark toothpick because it keeps him off tobacco. He's open to new ideas in his reading, well-versed in his music and eternally progressive at age 58.
"Dusty can be a military sergeant at times, but he's about as cool and as hip as you're ever going to find in a manager," said Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo. "This guy is out at the jazz clubs and he knows all the hot spots in town. In his mind he's still 21. He's fun because he can relate to the things that he knows guys want to do on and off the field."
I'll let you decide whether being called Hip by Bronson Arroyo is legitimate praise. Also, there is nothing surprising in Dusty spending his nights out clubbing. No wonder he never cracked down on Corey or Farnsworth for doing the same thing. We like our managers to spend the night like Lou does. With a bottle of scotch and a lineup card.
At 28-32, I'd say he's not making the sale.
I'll skip to the last paragraph of this article since the next three paragraphs of an article about the team's youth movement are inexplicably about re-signing Griffey or Adam Dunn.
"As Griffey prepares to depart -- and Dunn ponders the possibility -- Baker can take solace in the presence of Bruce, Volquez and other talented young players who are ready to take their places. Cincinnati's bridge to nowhere has been replaced by a bridge to the future, and Uncle Dusty is perfectly at home in his role as project foreman."
Uncle Dusty? Isn't there some kind of taboo regarding calling African-Americans Uncle? I don't understand the premise of this paragraph? The bridge was always there. Krivsky built the fucking bridge. The bridge to the future is always a bridge to the future. Now that those players are ready for the majors that doesn't mean that the bridge just suddenly appeared. Dusty Baker had nothing to do with this!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Your SKO Random Third Baseman of the Day: Len Randle
Before I begin with the Len Randle profile, a few comments-
-38-21 is fantastic, though if this team could just tack on 3 more wins to get this baby to 20 games over .500 in June, that would be tits.
-Idaho sucks, and it does not carry Cubs games, anywhere.
- If anyone in this bullpen not named Wood or Marmol were to step up and make an out, shirtless hugs could be picked up at the Start Kyle Orton Headquarters.
- Sweep Time, though it saddens me that if it is to occur, it must be at Mad Dog's expense.
Anywho, onto the only reason people come here during baseball season-
Name: Len Randle
Bats: Switch Throws: Right
Ht: 5'10'' Wt: 169
Years as a Cub: 1980
He made sure to sign on the side to leave as much of his glorious physique as visible as possible
Back in the early 1970s Len Randle was a promising young prospect for the Texas Rangers as a speedy lead-off hitter and second baseman, but was then traded to the Mets in 1977 after punching the Rangers manager during a fight in spring training. In 1980, after much of Randle's speed had disappeared and he had worn out his stays with the Mets, and Yankees Randle was signed by the Cubs to play third base, a position he had played at various stretches in his career, but did not play a single inning at in 1979.
Randle was claimed off waivers from the Seattle Mariners on April 1, 1980 to back up incumbent third baseman Steve Ontiveros, but when the latter struggled to a .208 average, Randle was made the starter and Ontiveros was eventually released. Randle eventually appeared in 130 games for the Cubs in 1980, and made 110 appearances at third base in that time. Randle spent the first two months of the season as the Cubs primary leadoff hitter, and spent 47 total games in the number one spot, where he posted a mediocre .269/3/17/.344/.378 line in the 1 spot. Overall in 1980 Randle hit .276 with 5 hrs, 39 RBIs, a .343 OBP, and a .370 Slug. %., and made 23 errors at third base, resulting in a below average .922 fielding percentage and his eventual benching in favor of Steve Dillard. The Cubs that season slumped their way to 68-94 record. The disappointing season led to the dismissal of manager Preston Gomez and an overhaul of the team that would eventually culminate in the 1984 NL East champion team.
As for Randle himself, he was granted free agency following the 1980 season and retired after the 1982 season. After retirement he played in both the Italian 1A league, where he lead the league with a .477 average, and in the Senior Professional Baseball Association in 1989 and 1990, before the league folded.
-38-21 is fantastic, though if this team could just tack on 3 more wins to get this baby to 20 games over .500 in June, that would be tits.
-Idaho sucks, and it does not carry Cubs games, anywhere.
- If anyone in this bullpen not named Wood or Marmol were to step up and make an out, shirtless hugs could be picked up at the Start Kyle Orton Headquarters.
- Sweep Time, though it saddens me that if it is to occur, it must be at Mad Dog's expense.
Anywho, onto the only reason people come here during baseball season-
Name: Len Randle
Bats: Switch Throws: Right
Ht: 5'10'' Wt: 169
Years as a Cub: 1980
He made sure to sign on the side to leave as much of his glorious physique as visible as possible
Back in the early 1970s Len Randle was a promising young prospect for the Texas Rangers as a speedy lead-off hitter and second baseman, but was then traded to the Mets in 1977 after punching the Rangers manager during a fight in spring training. In 1980, after much of Randle's speed had disappeared and he had worn out his stays with the Mets, and Yankees Randle was signed by the Cubs to play third base, a position he had played at various stretches in his career, but did not play a single inning at in 1979.
Randle was claimed off waivers from the Seattle Mariners on April 1, 1980 to back up incumbent third baseman Steve Ontiveros, but when the latter struggled to a .208 average, Randle was made the starter and Ontiveros was eventually released. Randle eventually appeared in 130 games for the Cubs in 1980, and made 110 appearances at third base in that time. Randle spent the first two months of the season as the Cubs primary leadoff hitter, and spent 47 total games in the number one spot, where he posted a mediocre .269/3/17/.344/.378 line in the 1 spot. Overall in 1980 Randle hit .276 with 5 hrs, 39 RBIs, a .343 OBP, and a .370 Slug. %., and made 23 errors at third base, resulting in a below average .922 fielding percentage and his eventual benching in favor of Steve Dillard. The Cubs that season slumped their way to 68-94 record. The disappointing season led to the dismissal of manager Preston Gomez and an overhaul of the team that would eventually culminate in the 1984 NL East champion team.
As for Randle himself, he was granted free agency following the 1980 season and retired after the 1982 season. After retirement he played in both the Italian 1A league, where he lead the league with a .477 average, and in the Senior Professional Baseball Association in 1989 and 1990, before the league folded.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Your SKO Random Third Baseman of the Day: Miguel Cairo
Name: Miguel Jesus Cairo
Ht:6'0'' Wt:160
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years As a Cub: 1997, 2001
He thought it was funny, too.
If you've forgotten that Miguel Cairo was ever a Chicago Cub, well, congratulations to you.
The no-stick, no-glove utility player actually made two stops on the North Side, once during the miserable 1997 season and again in a much larger role during the 2001 season, a season which ultimately brought pain to Cubs fans after a hope-filled season that saw the Cubs in first place from April through July before an August slump led to a third place finish. Despite a .328/64 hr/160 RBI season from Sammy Sosa, that season will forever be indelibly linked with the Miguel Cairo Era for most Cubs fans.
Cairo was picked up by the Cubs before the 2001 season in a trade with the Oakland A's in which the Cubs gave up prospect Eric Hinske. Hinske, a third baseman as well, would go on to win the 2002 Rookie of the Year Award and has posted exactly one good half season in his 7 major league years, making him a productive player for exactly one more half season than Miguel Cairo has ever been.
Most people don't really know where my loathing of Miguel Cairo comes from. The fact that the majority of his career has been spent in Yankee, Cardinal, or Met uniforms is a likely reason, or the fact that his existence on the bench in 2001 forced Cubs fans to pray every day that Don Baylor would start Ron Coomer instead, and I am profoundly against anything that makes me pine for Ron Fucking Coomer. In all actuality Miguel posted an above career average season as a Cub offensively ( .285/2 hr/9 RBI/.364 OBP/.374 SLUG) all of which were above his career norms. Defensively, at least in his 40 games at third, he was miserable, with 5 errors and a terrible .900 fielding %, but that also is not my true reason for praying for his death via flesh-eating bacteria.
My true reason for hating Miguel Cairo is that for some reason his release by the Cubs, and subsequent pick-up by the Cardinals, made him the f*&king catalyst for the Cubs fall from 1st place and the Cardinals rise past the Cubs to the NL Wild Card. On August 10, the day Cairo was claimed off of waivers from the Cubs by the Cardinals, Chicago was in 1st place at 66-48, while the 59-55 Cardinals were 7.0 games back and lost in the middle of the playoff picture. After the Cards took Cairo (who hit .333 with St. Louis), the Cubs went 22-26 to finish 88-74 and out of the playoffs. The Cardinals got blisteringly hot, and went on a 34-14 run to finish 93-69, tied with Houston for the Central Division lead, and earned a Wild Card berth.
How Miguel Cairo of all people managed to so drastically change the fates of two teams, two epic rivals, I don't know. All I know is I hate that blasted troll with every fiber of my being.
Cairo went on to play with the Cardinals, Mets, and Yankees, and is currently a member of the Seattle Mariners, where his .208 average is the talk of the American League.
Seriously, Miguel Cairo? How the f*&k did that happen?
Ht:6'0'' Wt:160
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years As a Cub: 1997, 2001
He thought it was funny, too.
If you've forgotten that Miguel Cairo was ever a Chicago Cub, well, congratulations to you.
The no-stick, no-glove utility player actually made two stops on the North Side, once during the miserable 1997 season and again in a much larger role during the 2001 season, a season which ultimately brought pain to Cubs fans after a hope-filled season that saw the Cubs in first place from April through July before an August slump led to a third place finish. Despite a .328/64 hr/160 RBI season from Sammy Sosa, that season will forever be indelibly linked with the Miguel Cairo Era for most Cubs fans.
Cairo was picked up by the Cubs before the 2001 season in a trade with the Oakland A's in which the Cubs gave up prospect Eric Hinske. Hinske, a third baseman as well, would go on to win the 2002 Rookie of the Year Award and has posted exactly one good half season in his 7 major league years, making him a productive player for exactly one more half season than Miguel Cairo has ever been.
Most people don't really know where my loathing of Miguel Cairo comes from. The fact that the majority of his career has been spent in Yankee, Cardinal, or Met uniforms is a likely reason, or the fact that his existence on the bench in 2001 forced Cubs fans to pray every day that Don Baylor would start Ron Coomer instead, and I am profoundly against anything that makes me pine for Ron Fucking Coomer. In all actuality Miguel posted an above career average season as a Cub offensively ( .285/2 hr/9 RBI/.364 OBP/.374 SLUG) all of which were above his career norms. Defensively, at least in his 40 games at third, he was miserable, with 5 errors and a terrible .900 fielding %, but that also is not my true reason for praying for his death via flesh-eating bacteria.
My true reason for hating Miguel Cairo is that for some reason his release by the Cubs, and subsequent pick-up by the Cardinals, made him the f*&king catalyst for the Cubs fall from 1st place and the Cardinals rise past the Cubs to the NL Wild Card. On August 10, the day Cairo was claimed off of waivers from the Cubs by the Cardinals, Chicago was in 1st place at 66-48, while the 59-55 Cardinals were 7.0 games back and lost in the middle of the playoff picture. After the Cards took Cairo (who hit .333 with St. Louis), the Cubs went 22-26 to finish 88-74 and out of the playoffs. The Cardinals got blisteringly hot, and went on a 34-14 run to finish 93-69, tied with Houston for the Central Division lead, and earned a Wild Card berth.
How Miguel Cairo of all people managed to so drastically change the fates of two teams, two epic rivals, I don't know. All I know is I hate that blasted troll with every fiber of my being.
Cairo went on to play with the Cardinals, Mets, and Yankees, and is currently a member of the Seattle Mariners, where his .208 average is the talk of the American League.
Seriously, Miguel Cairo? How the f*&k did that happen?
Monday, May 12, 2008
Your SKO Random Third Baseman of the Day: Chris Stynes
Name: Christopher Desmond Stynes
Ht:5'9'' Wt:170
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 2002
Chris Stynes appears bemused by your suggestion that he get a hit.
I'll say one good thing about Chris Stynes. The sonofabitch didn't strike out a lot. The guy struck out more than 56 times just Once in his major league career, and in his 195 Cub at-bats he K'd just 29 times. Outside of that, Chris Stynes was a miserable baseball player. The man was an absolute butcher in the field, had pathetic power for a corner infielder, and really is a perfectly viable example of why the 2002 Cubs were so bad. When you're fielding Hundley at catcher, McStiff at first, Bobby Hill at 2nd, Alex Gonalez at short, Stynes at third, Rosie Brown in left, and Korey in center it's not much of a stretch to figure out how they won just 67 games.
After a 2001 season in which he became a beloved "scrappy" hitter for the Boston Red Sox, earning one of their beloved "Dirt Dog" labels, Stynes was signed by the Cubs in January of 2002 to back-up starter Bill Mueller. Now, as I've mentioned before, signing a back-up for Bill Mueller basically implies that the guys gonna start for at least one month during the season. Sure enough, Mueller wasn't ready for the start of the season and Stynes started 16 games at 3rd during the opening month, as well as 46 total for the year. In all Stynes appeared in 95 games with 40 of those appearances at 3rd base. Stynes had a downright idiotically wide open batting stance that earned him a paltry .241/5hr/26 RBI/.314 OBP/.374 slug. line that season, and made me pine for Ron Coomer. In the field Stynes was even more of a disaster, as he made 5 errors in his 40 games at third and had a .919 fielding percentage, leading then-Pirate Aramis Ramirez to comment on how Stynes "really is a liability at the hot corner". Stynes' range in the field pretty much consisted of his left shoulder to his right, as his range factor of 1.43 was well below the league average of 2.25.
After Mueller returned from the DL and Mark Bellhorn proved he could hit lefties, Stynes fell to third on the depth chart at both third and second base and saw his playing time rapidly decrease. Cub fans were thrilled by the development, as hopes soared that a Bellhorn-Gonzalez-Mueller left side infield would be the key to a 70 win season. As always, those hopes proved fruitless.
Stynes was released by the Cubs in December of '02, spent the 2003 and 2004 seasons with the Rockies and Pirates, respectively, and retired in 2005 after shattering his fibia on a foul ball during a spring training stint with the Orioles. Don't worry Chris, you were better off Not making the team, broken leg and all.
Ht:5'9'' Wt:170
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 2002
Chris Stynes appears bemused by your suggestion that he get a hit.
I'll say one good thing about Chris Stynes. The sonofabitch didn't strike out a lot. The guy struck out more than 56 times just Once in his major league career, and in his 195 Cub at-bats he K'd just 29 times. Outside of that, Chris Stynes was a miserable baseball player. The man was an absolute butcher in the field, had pathetic power for a corner infielder, and really is a perfectly viable example of why the 2002 Cubs were so bad. When you're fielding Hundley at catcher, McStiff at first, Bobby Hill at 2nd, Alex Gonalez at short, Stynes at third, Rosie Brown in left, and Korey in center it's not much of a stretch to figure out how they won just 67 games.
After a 2001 season in which he became a beloved "scrappy" hitter for the Boston Red Sox, earning one of their beloved "Dirt Dog" labels, Stynes was signed by the Cubs in January of 2002 to back-up starter Bill Mueller. Now, as I've mentioned before, signing a back-up for Bill Mueller basically implies that the guys gonna start for at least one month during the season. Sure enough, Mueller wasn't ready for the start of the season and Stynes started 16 games at 3rd during the opening month, as well as 46 total for the year. In all Stynes appeared in 95 games with 40 of those appearances at 3rd base. Stynes had a downright idiotically wide open batting stance that earned him a paltry .241/5hr/26 RBI/.314 OBP/.374 slug. line that season, and made me pine for Ron Coomer. In the field Stynes was even more of a disaster, as he made 5 errors in his 40 games at third and had a .919 fielding percentage, leading then-Pirate Aramis Ramirez to comment on how Stynes "really is a liability at the hot corner". Stynes' range in the field pretty much consisted of his left shoulder to his right, as his range factor of 1.43 was well below the league average of 2.25.
After Mueller returned from the DL and Mark Bellhorn proved he could hit lefties, Stynes fell to third on the depth chart at both third and second base and saw his playing time rapidly decrease. Cub fans were thrilled by the development, as hopes soared that a Bellhorn-Gonzalez-Mueller left side infield would be the key to a 70 win season. As always, those hopes proved fruitless.
Stynes was released by the Cubs in December of '02, spent the 2003 and 2004 seasons with the Rockies and Pirates, respectively, and retired in 2005 after shattering his fibia on a foul ball during a spring training stint with the Orioles. Don't worry Chris, you were better off Not making the team, broken leg and all.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Congratulations Greg Maddux!
After his 350th career win Start Kyle Orton would like to extend our most sincere congratulations to the best pitcher of this era and a true class act. You're far too humble to ever admit it, Greg, but we'll say it: you were too good for us.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Your SKO Random Third Baseman of the Day (Yes, I Still Do This): Leo Gomez
Name: Leonardo Velez Gomez
Ht:6'0'' Wt: 208
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 1996
This picture is as low quality as Gomez himself.
Leonardo Gomez is an enigma. On the one hand, you'd look at his numbers and think he was a terrible baseball player. On the other hand, those that watched Gomez play remember him.....as a terrible baseball player. What's an enigma again?
After the Todd Zeile trade failed miserably during the 1995 season, the Cubs went searching for an answer at the position for 1996. Gomez, once considered the Orioles third baseman of the future, had underperformed greatly for most of his 6 season tenure, and lost his starting job in '95 to Jeff Mantos after a combination of injuries and ineffectiveness limited him to just 53 games. I don't know who Jeff Mantos is, and neither do you, but its a safe bet that if he ever takes your job, you should just give up. Gomez did the closest thing to giving up, and signed with the Cubs.
The 1996 Cubs were coming off a season in which they had surprised the world by finishing a whopping 2 games over .500. While expectations were high, they f*&king Soared when the news broke that Leo Gomez was in the fold. At the time I was but a mere 8 years old, but even I could see the writing on the wall that with Leo Gomez on the roster a pennant was Nigh.
But alas, it was not to be. The 1996 Cubs, were, much like the 1995 Cubs, utterly mediocre. Well, actually slightly less than. The team scored 772 runs and allowed 771. Their Pythagorean W-L was 81-81, the definition of mediocrity. They finished just below that at 76-86. In this entirely unremarkable season Leo Gomez was, entirely unremarkable. A respectable first half (.261/13 hr/36 RBIs/.363 OBP/.491 Slug.) gave way to a miserable second half (.199/4/20/.315/.331) for an overall .236/17/56/.344/.431 line in 136 games. In the field Gomez played above-average defense on the balls he could get to (.972 fielding %, just 7 errors) but had well below average range at his position, as he apparently agreed that just letting the ball roll through the outfield grass to the powerful arm of Luis Gonzalez was a better idea than trying to, you know, Field it.
After the 1996 season the Cubs released Gomez, leading to the debut of rookie Kevin Orie. Thanks for that one, Gomer. Gomez went on to play baseball in Japan and according to his Wikipedia page he's a churchgoer. How nice.
Ht:6'0'' Wt: 208
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 1996
This picture is as low quality as Gomez himself.
Leonardo Gomez is an enigma. On the one hand, you'd look at his numbers and think he was a terrible baseball player. On the other hand, those that watched Gomez play remember him.....as a terrible baseball player. What's an enigma again?
After the Todd Zeile trade failed miserably during the 1995 season, the Cubs went searching for an answer at the position for 1996. Gomez, once considered the Orioles third baseman of the future, had underperformed greatly for most of his 6 season tenure, and lost his starting job in '95 to Jeff Mantos after a combination of injuries and ineffectiveness limited him to just 53 games. I don't know who Jeff Mantos is, and neither do you, but its a safe bet that if he ever takes your job, you should just give up. Gomez did the closest thing to giving up, and signed with the Cubs.
The 1996 Cubs were coming off a season in which they had surprised the world by finishing a whopping 2 games over .500. While expectations were high, they f*&king Soared when the news broke that Leo Gomez was in the fold. At the time I was but a mere 8 years old, but even I could see the writing on the wall that with Leo Gomez on the roster a pennant was Nigh.
But alas, it was not to be. The 1996 Cubs, were, much like the 1995 Cubs, utterly mediocre. Well, actually slightly less than. The team scored 772 runs and allowed 771. Their Pythagorean W-L was 81-81, the definition of mediocrity. They finished just below that at 76-86. In this entirely unremarkable season Leo Gomez was, entirely unremarkable. A respectable first half (.261/13 hr/36 RBIs/.363 OBP/.491 Slug.) gave way to a miserable second half (.199/4/20/.315/.331) for an overall .236/17/56/.344/.431 line in 136 games. In the field Gomez played above-average defense on the balls he could get to (.972 fielding %, just 7 errors) but had well below average range at his position, as he apparently agreed that just letting the ball roll through the outfield grass to the powerful arm of Luis Gonzalez was a better idea than trying to, you know, Field it.
After the 1996 season the Cubs released Gomez, leading to the debut of rookie Kevin Orie. Thanks for that one, Gomer. Gomez went on to play baseball in Japan and according to his Wikipedia page he's a churchgoer. How nice.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
The Roster of Broken Dreams- The Pitchers
Several days ago we covered the position players on this journey through years of busts, today we get to the hurlers. Nobody gets a team's fan base more fired up than the Can't Miss Ace. We all want the next Roger Clemens (sans the steroids and asshole personality) or Jake Peavy to come up through our ranks. The Cubs have been fortunate enough to turn out a few successes in the pitching category in Carlos Zambrano, Carlos Marmol, the relative success that is Kerry Wood, and the brief superstar that Mark Prior was, as well as several others of varying success that they've turned out over the last decade or more. Despite the greater level of success in producing pitchers than in producing position players, the Cubs have still turned out some atrocious disasters on the mound. The most notable 12 (5 starters, 7 relief) are presented here.
Note: The pitcher's statistics are a bit tricky. For the starters, I took each pitcher's career numbers as a starter and averaged those numbers out to a full starter's season, IE, 30-35 starts, while I took each reliever's career numbers as a reliever and averaged those out to a 60 game season, thus giving the reader an idea of what they could expect out of a full season from each pitcher. Granted, win-loss records will not add up to 162 games, and they are not intended to. This is merely to give an idea of what a full season from each individual would be according to their career averages. At the end I will add up the runs they would surrender and use the runs the offense would score to compile a very flawed and inaccurate Pythagorean Win-Loss record that is by no means scientific but gives a rough estimate of this team's "capabilities".
SP- Angel Guzman 0-16, 7.75 ERA, 135 earned runs
What is there to say about Angel Guzman? After signing with the Cubs as an 18 year old free agent in 1999, Guzman made his professional debut with the low-A Boise Hawks in 2001 and blew away the competition with by going 9-1 with a 2.22 ERA, a 1.13 WHIP and 63 K's in 77 innings, and turned heads with his mid 90s fastball and hard breaking curve. Guzman followed that up with an 11-4, 2.19 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, and 123 K's in 153 innings in 24 games for low A Lansing and high A Daytona. In 2003, the quick rising Guzman started the season with AA West Tennessee and was 3-3, 2.80 ERA, 1.21 WHIP, and 87 K's in 90 innings and 15 starts and made the Futures team. Guzman did not pitch in that game, however, as he suffered a shoulder injury and was shut down for the season. In 2004, the rehabbing Guzman was just 3-4, 4.69 ERA, 1.06 WHIP, and 53 K's in 48 innings in just 11 starts for Daytona and West Tennessee. In 2005 Guzman Continued to rehab his shoulder and made just 6 starts, going 0-1, 2.45 ERA, 1.15 WHIP, 24 K's in 18.1 innings. In 2006 Guzman finally made it to AAA, three seasons after making it to AA. In 15 games at Iowa in '06, Guzman was 4-4, 4.04 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, 77 K's in 75.2 innings. Guzman also made his major league debut with the Cubs in 2006, and a whopper that was. In 15 games (10 starts) with the Cubs, Guzman was 0-6 with a 7.39 ERA. Wulf. In 2007 Guzman began the season in the bullpen with the Cubs, and made 4 appearances in April with a 2.45 ERA. Guzman may well have stayed in the 'pen had Wade Miller not been horrendously bad resulting in Angel being sent down, stretched out, and brought back up to start. Guzman came back up and made three starts in May, and pitched decently (0-0, 3.52 ERA), but was seemingly incapable of going past 5 innings due to a variety of cramps and pulls. Guzman went back to the bullpen for five more games after his three starts, but had to be shut down due to elbow pain. Following Tommy John surgery, Guzman is out until at least the middle of this season. To recap: in 8 professional seasons, Guzman has been healthy enough to finish 3 of them. In his major league career he is 0-7 with a 6.05 ERA and a 1.69 WHIP. The Cubs have already stated that he will be a full-time relief pitcher when he returns. The one-time future ace is now a shriveled, injury racked shadow of his former self (why does that sound familiar?).
SP-Juan Cruz 9-16, 4.17 ERA, 84 earned runs
There was a time back in the late 1990s when Cubs fans eagerly anticipated the arrival of the Cubs two top prospects: Corey Patterson and Juan Cruz. Patterson has already been covered, and may just be the most damning failure in Cubs development history. But fear not, Cruz managed to join his fellow blue-chipper in the sea of disappointment. With his slight frame and hard fastball, Cruz drew comparisons to Pedro Martinez and only added to the hype by going 3-1, 3.22 in 8 starts during his rookie debut in 2001. In 2002 Cruz started the season in the rotation and went 1-7 in 9 starts. Many have defended Cruz's turn in the rotation in 2002 by arguing that he lacked runs support and had a respectable 3.74 ERA as a starter. However, Cruz walked 31 batters in his 45.2 innings as a starter and had a high 1.65 WHIP. For comparison, Rich Hill has a 1.58 WHIP this year. That ought to give you an idea of the control problems Cruz had. After finishing the season 3-11, 3.98 ERA in 45 games, Cruz went 2-7 with a 6.05 ERA in 25 games (6 starts) for the Cubs in 2003 and was traded to Atlanta before the 2004 season, where he's since become a bullpen ace/swing man for the Braves, A's, and Diamondbacks.
SP-Ruben Quevedo 7-16, 6.15 ERA, 122 earned runs
Someone once told me that Ruben Quevedo wasn't a highly enough considered prospect to make this team, but the man was so utterly incompetent that I'd say his amount of failure hurt more than most of our first round busts. After being acquired from the Braves along with Micah Bowie (its a two for one of suck!) in 1999, Quevedo made his big league debut with the Cubs in 2000 and was a fine contributor to a 65-97 team. In his 21 games (15 starts) the portly right hander went 3-10 with a 7.47 ERA and 21 homers surrendered in 88 innings. The major league record for home runs surrendered by a pitcher in one season is 50, by Bert Blyleven in 1986. Bert pitched 271.7 innings that year. If Quevedo had pitched that many innings and gave up homers at his 2000 pace, he'd have given up 65 homers. Quevedo was turfed to the Brewers after the 2000 season and was out of the majors after 2003.
SP-G(J)eremi Gonzalez 11-14, 4.78 ERA, 112 earned runs
How unassertive do you have to be that you don't even inform the teams you play for of the proper spelling of your name until you've been in professional baseball for 15 years? Geremi Gonzalez, who signed with the Cubs in 1991 as Jeremi Gonzalez, made his major league debut in 1997 and along with Kevin Orie was one of the few bright spots of that nightmarish season. Yes, I just said that. The 22 year old Gonzalez went 11-9, 4.25 ERA in 23 starts for the Cubs that year and finished 9th in Rookie of the Year voting. Heading into the 1998 season, Cubs fans assumed that fireballer Kerry Wood would pair with Gonzalez to give the Cubs a solid 1-5 rotation behind veterans Kevin Tapani, Steve Trachsel, and Mark Clark. Gonzalez, however, struggled in 20 starts in 98, going 7-7 with a 5.32 ERA before blowing out his elbow. Gonzalez would never appear with the Cubs again, and was released in 2001. He reappeared in 2003 with the Devil Rays, and has also played with the Red Sox, the Mets, and the Brewers. When he arrived in Milwaukee in 2006, Gonzalez informed the team of the proper spelling of his name, correcting the mistake.While Jeremi Gonzalez has flamed out of the majors, Geremi Gonzalez is now playing in Japan.
SP- Sergio Mitre 7-13, 5.19 ERA, 109 earned runs
Sinkerballer Sergio Mitre was supposed to have great success with the lush infield grass of Wrigley Field, but frequently struggled to throw strikes and not get hammered by the opposition. Mitre was given repeated chances with the big league club thanks to continued injuries to Mark Prior in 2003, 2004, and 2005. Mitre responded by going 0-1 with an 8.31 ERA in 2003, 2-4 with a 6.62 ERA in 2004, and 2-5 with a 5.37 ERA in 2005. Mitre was then sent to the Marlins in the Juan Pierre deal before the 2006 season and I for one was happy to be rid of his disturbing child-molester like visage.
LRP-Jon Leicester 5-4, 5.13 ERA, 30 earned runs
A decent rookie campaign in 2004 (5-1, 3.89 ERA) had some Cubs fans discussing "Ice Man" Jon Leicester as a possible closer candidate. Leicester's 2005 (0-2, 9.00 ERA) put a rest to that talk as Leicester was designated for assignment by the Cubs in November of 2005 and now finds himself in the Orioles minor leagues, the wastebasket of failed Cubs.
MRP-Shawn Boskie 9-5, 3.65 ERA, 42 earned runs
A 1st round pick by the Cubs in 1986, Boskie followed up a promising first year (5-6, 3.69 ERA in 15 starts) by going 4-9 and 5-11 in his next two years as a starter and wound up in the bullpen. After a solid season in middle relief in 1993 (5-3, 3.43 ERA), Boskie pitched just two games for the Cubs in 1994 before being traded to the Phillies.
MRP-Will Ohman 2-2, 4.19 ERA, 22 earned runs
The bullpen's token lefty, the injury prone and sandwich loving Ohman went made his debut with the Cubs in 2000, going 1-0 with an 8.10 ERA, followed that up by going 0-1 with a 7.71 ERA in 2001 and then spent the 2002, 2003, and 2004 campaigns sidelined by injuries. Ohman made his return to the majors and had his best season in 2005 going 2-2 with a 2.91 ERA in 60 games. After a rocky 1-1, 4.13 ERA 2006, Ohman struggled early for the 2007 Cubs, found himself on Lou's shit list, was sent down to Iowa, and finished the season with a 2-4, 4.95 ERA in 56 games, mostly in mop-up duty. Ohman also had a tendency to run his mouth, and after wearing out Lou's patience was traded to the Atlanta Braves.
MRP-Todd Wellemeyer 4-4, 4.82 ERA, 63 earned runs
Yet another failed "Closer of the Future", highly touted hard-thrower Wellemeyer had three disastrous seasons with the Cubs from 2003-2005 and went just 5-3 with a 6.19 ERA in 57 games with the Cubs before being released. After failing with the Marlins and the Royals in 2006 and 2007, Wellemeyer found himself with the Cardinals and has since been an effective spot starter and bullpen pitcher for St. Louis, earning him even more of my wrath.
SU-Francis Beltran 3-2, 5.86 ERA, 47 earned runs
With a high 90s fastball, devastating splitter, and solid sideburns Francis Beltran was supposed to be the 2002-2004 Cubs what Carlos Marmol has been to the 2007 and 2008 Cubs. He wasn't, as he was 0-0, 7.50 ERA in 2002 and 2-2, 4.63 ERA in 2004, with 38 walks in 47 innings as a Cub before being traded to the Expos in the Nomar deal. After spending the 2005-2007 seasons in the minors, Beltran was called up to the Tigers this year and posted a 5.73 ERA in 5 games before being sent back down.
SU-Terry Adams 4-5, 4.03 ERA, 31 earned runs
Terry Adams was like a horrifying nightmare you keep having night after night after night. Adams, a 4th round pick in 1991, was with the Cubs for five seasons from 1995-1999 despite having just one good year (1996, when he pitched an absurd 101 innings, all in relief). Twice during that stretch the Cubs were forced to make him their closer, in 1997 after Mel Rojas proved to be the worst God damn thing to ever walk from the pen to the mound, and in 1999 after Rod Beck's arm fell off. In 1997 Adams was just 18 of 33 (yes I know some of those blown saves were as a set-up man, either way it sucks) in save situations, and in 1999 he was just 13-21. It was in middle relief and set-up situations that the Cubs used Adams the most, however, and that is the role he plays on this team. In his 5 Cubs seasons Adams posted thoroughly mediocre ERAs of 6.50, 2.94, 4.62, 4.33, and 4.02 to go along with records of 1-1, 3-6, 2-9, 7-7, and 6-3 (overall 18-26), before leaving for the Dodgers in 2000.
CP-Kyle Farnsworth 2-4, 4.12 ERA, 27 earned runs
Kyle F*&king Farnsworth. No Cub in my lifetime has, for whatever reason, infuriated me more than Farnsworth. For six seasons Farnsworth trotted his dumb ass out to the mound and more often than not crapped on it. The spoiled frat boy with the million dollar arm and thirty cent brain wasted every ounce of talent that he was blessed with. Despite his 100 MPH fastball, Farnsworth never came close to becoming the Cubs closer. Rumors swirled around Farnsworth's party boy activities and every single member of the Cub organization and every fan who wasn't a God damn chick obsessed with his looks questioned his desire to even play baseball. The idiot wound up on the disabled list for breaking his toe by trying to punt a baseball and for kicking a metal fan in the clubhouse. After moving back and forth between the bullpen and the rotation in 1999 and 2000, Farnsworth moved to the bullpen permanently in 2001. The move seemed to work as the Farns posted a 2.74 ERA 76 games that year. But in 2002 Kyle's wild inconsistency returned and he finished with a 7.33 ERA in 45 games. A rebound year in 2003 that saw Kyle post a 3.30 ERA in 77 games was followed by a 4.73 ERA in 2004 that ended when Kyle returned from the DL after his fan kicking incident in time to post a 6.84 second half ERA as the Cubs choked away a playoff spot. In his Cub career Farnsworth was 22-37 and is just 26-54 in save opportunities in his career. After the 2004 season Kyle was traded to Detroit, who traded him to Atlanta in time for Kyle to blow a 6-1 Braves lead in a game during the Division Series against Houston. Kyle signed with the Yankees before the 2006 seasons and is now in his third year of hilariously preventing save opportunities from finding their way to Mariano Rivera.
So there you have the entire 25 man Roster of Broken Dreams. Any suggestions on players I've missed or you would have as reserves on the 40 man roster are welcome. With some very imprecise calculations, the Pythagorean Win-Loss record of this team comes out to a very dire 58-104. Before finding yourself overcome with despair over the state of the Cubs farm system, quickly look at this link and remind yourself that a turnaround is near and that this current Cubs team is coming off of a playoff appearance and has played great baseball for most of this season. As finals week is approaching this has taken far longer to get up than I expected and future posts may be sporadic for a while. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoyed this little segment.
Note: The pitcher's statistics are a bit tricky. For the starters, I took each pitcher's career numbers as a starter and averaged those numbers out to a full starter's season, IE, 30-35 starts, while I took each reliever's career numbers as a reliever and averaged those out to a 60 game season, thus giving the reader an idea of what they could expect out of a full season from each pitcher. Granted, win-loss records will not add up to 162 games, and they are not intended to. This is merely to give an idea of what a full season from each individual would be according to their career averages. At the end I will add up the runs they would surrender and use the runs the offense would score to compile a very flawed and inaccurate Pythagorean Win-Loss record that is by no means scientific but gives a rough estimate of this team's "capabilities".
SP- Angel Guzman 0-16, 7.75 ERA, 135 earned runs
What is there to say about Angel Guzman? After signing with the Cubs as an 18 year old free agent in 1999, Guzman made his professional debut with the low-A Boise Hawks in 2001 and blew away the competition with by going 9-1 with a 2.22 ERA, a 1.13 WHIP and 63 K's in 77 innings, and turned heads with his mid 90s fastball and hard breaking curve. Guzman followed that up with an 11-4, 2.19 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, and 123 K's in 153 innings in 24 games for low A Lansing and high A Daytona. In 2003, the quick rising Guzman started the season with AA West Tennessee and was 3-3, 2.80 ERA, 1.21 WHIP, and 87 K's in 90 innings and 15 starts and made the Futures team. Guzman did not pitch in that game, however, as he suffered a shoulder injury and was shut down for the season. In 2004, the rehabbing Guzman was just 3-4, 4.69 ERA, 1.06 WHIP, and 53 K's in 48 innings in just 11 starts for Daytona and West Tennessee. In 2005 Guzman Continued to rehab his shoulder and made just 6 starts, going 0-1, 2.45 ERA, 1.15 WHIP, 24 K's in 18.1 innings. In 2006 Guzman finally made it to AAA, three seasons after making it to AA. In 15 games at Iowa in '06, Guzman was 4-4, 4.04 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, 77 K's in 75.2 innings. Guzman also made his major league debut with the Cubs in 2006, and a whopper that was. In 15 games (10 starts) with the Cubs, Guzman was 0-6 with a 7.39 ERA. Wulf. In 2007 Guzman began the season in the bullpen with the Cubs, and made 4 appearances in April with a 2.45 ERA. Guzman may well have stayed in the 'pen had Wade Miller not been horrendously bad resulting in Angel being sent down, stretched out, and brought back up to start. Guzman came back up and made three starts in May, and pitched decently (0-0, 3.52 ERA), but was seemingly incapable of going past 5 innings due to a variety of cramps and pulls. Guzman went back to the bullpen for five more games after his three starts, but had to be shut down due to elbow pain. Following Tommy John surgery, Guzman is out until at least the middle of this season. To recap: in 8 professional seasons, Guzman has been healthy enough to finish 3 of them. In his major league career he is 0-7 with a 6.05 ERA and a 1.69 WHIP. The Cubs have already stated that he will be a full-time relief pitcher when he returns. The one-time future ace is now a shriveled, injury racked shadow of his former self (why does that sound familiar?).
SP-Juan Cruz 9-16, 4.17 ERA, 84 earned runs
There was a time back in the late 1990s when Cubs fans eagerly anticipated the arrival of the Cubs two top prospects: Corey Patterson and Juan Cruz. Patterson has already been covered, and may just be the most damning failure in Cubs development history. But fear not, Cruz managed to join his fellow blue-chipper in the sea of disappointment. With his slight frame and hard fastball, Cruz drew comparisons to Pedro Martinez and only added to the hype by going 3-1, 3.22 in 8 starts during his rookie debut in 2001. In 2002 Cruz started the season in the rotation and went 1-7 in 9 starts. Many have defended Cruz's turn in the rotation in 2002 by arguing that he lacked runs support and had a respectable 3.74 ERA as a starter. However, Cruz walked 31 batters in his 45.2 innings as a starter and had a high 1.65 WHIP. For comparison, Rich Hill has a 1.58 WHIP this year. That ought to give you an idea of the control problems Cruz had. After finishing the season 3-11, 3.98 ERA in 45 games, Cruz went 2-7 with a 6.05 ERA in 25 games (6 starts) for the Cubs in 2003 and was traded to Atlanta before the 2004 season, where he's since become a bullpen ace/swing man for the Braves, A's, and Diamondbacks.
SP-Ruben Quevedo 7-16, 6.15 ERA, 122 earned runs
Someone once told me that Ruben Quevedo wasn't a highly enough considered prospect to make this team, but the man was so utterly incompetent that I'd say his amount of failure hurt more than most of our first round busts. After being acquired from the Braves along with Micah Bowie (its a two for one of suck!) in 1999, Quevedo made his big league debut with the Cubs in 2000 and was a fine contributor to a 65-97 team. In his 21 games (15 starts) the portly right hander went 3-10 with a 7.47 ERA and 21 homers surrendered in 88 innings. The major league record for home runs surrendered by a pitcher in one season is 50, by Bert Blyleven in 1986. Bert pitched 271.7 innings that year. If Quevedo had pitched that many innings and gave up homers at his 2000 pace, he'd have given up 65 homers. Quevedo was turfed to the Brewers after the 2000 season and was out of the majors after 2003.
SP-G(J)eremi Gonzalez 11-14, 4.78 ERA, 112 earned runs
How unassertive do you have to be that you don't even inform the teams you play for of the proper spelling of your name until you've been in professional baseball for 15 years? Geremi Gonzalez, who signed with the Cubs in 1991 as Jeremi Gonzalez, made his major league debut in 1997 and along with Kevin Orie was one of the few bright spots of that nightmarish season. Yes, I just said that. The 22 year old Gonzalez went 11-9, 4.25 ERA in 23 starts for the Cubs that year and finished 9th in Rookie of the Year voting. Heading into the 1998 season, Cubs fans assumed that fireballer Kerry Wood would pair with Gonzalez to give the Cubs a solid 1-5 rotation behind veterans Kevin Tapani, Steve Trachsel, and Mark Clark. Gonzalez, however, struggled in 20 starts in 98, going 7-7 with a 5.32 ERA before blowing out his elbow. Gonzalez would never appear with the Cubs again, and was released in 2001. He reappeared in 2003 with the Devil Rays, and has also played with the Red Sox, the Mets, and the Brewers. When he arrived in Milwaukee in 2006, Gonzalez informed the team of the proper spelling of his name, correcting the mistake.While Jeremi Gonzalez has flamed out of the majors, Geremi Gonzalez is now playing in Japan.
SP- Sergio Mitre 7-13, 5.19 ERA, 109 earned runs
Sinkerballer Sergio Mitre was supposed to have great success with the lush infield grass of Wrigley Field, but frequently struggled to throw strikes and not get hammered by the opposition. Mitre was given repeated chances with the big league club thanks to continued injuries to Mark Prior in 2003, 2004, and 2005. Mitre responded by going 0-1 with an 8.31 ERA in 2003, 2-4 with a 6.62 ERA in 2004, and 2-5 with a 5.37 ERA in 2005. Mitre was then sent to the Marlins in the Juan Pierre deal before the 2006 season and I for one was happy to be rid of his disturbing child-molester like visage.
LRP-Jon Leicester 5-4, 5.13 ERA, 30 earned runs
A decent rookie campaign in 2004 (5-1, 3.89 ERA) had some Cubs fans discussing "Ice Man" Jon Leicester as a possible closer candidate. Leicester's 2005 (0-2, 9.00 ERA) put a rest to that talk as Leicester was designated for assignment by the Cubs in November of 2005 and now finds himself in the Orioles minor leagues, the wastebasket of failed Cubs.
MRP-Shawn Boskie 9-5, 3.65 ERA, 42 earned runs
A 1st round pick by the Cubs in 1986, Boskie followed up a promising first year (5-6, 3.69 ERA in 15 starts) by going 4-9 and 5-11 in his next two years as a starter and wound up in the bullpen. After a solid season in middle relief in 1993 (5-3, 3.43 ERA), Boskie pitched just two games for the Cubs in 1994 before being traded to the Phillies.
MRP-Will Ohman 2-2, 4.19 ERA, 22 earned runs
The bullpen's token lefty, the injury prone and sandwich loving Ohman went made his debut with the Cubs in 2000, going 1-0 with an 8.10 ERA, followed that up by going 0-1 with a 7.71 ERA in 2001 and then spent the 2002, 2003, and 2004 campaigns sidelined by injuries. Ohman made his return to the majors and had his best season in 2005 going 2-2 with a 2.91 ERA in 60 games. After a rocky 1-1, 4.13 ERA 2006, Ohman struggled early for the 2007 Cubs, found himself on Lou's shit list, was sent down to Iowa, and finished the season with a 2-4, 4.95 ERA in 56 games, mostly in mop-up duty. Ohman also had a tendency to run his mouth, and after wearing out Lou's patience was traded to the Atlanta Braves.
MRP-Todd Wellemeyer 4-4, 4.82 ERA, 63 earned runs
Yet another failed "Closer of the Future", highly touted hard-thrower Wellemeyer had three disastrous seasons with the Cubs from 2003-2005 and went just 5-3 with a 6.19 ERA in 57 games with the Cubs before being released. After failing with the Marlins and the Royals in 2006 and 2007, Wellemeyer found himself with the Cardinals and has since been an effective spot starter and bullpen pitcher for St. Louis, earning him even more of my wrath.
SU-Francis Beltran 3-2, 5.86 ERA, 47 earned runs
With a high 90s fastball, devastating splitter, and solid sideburns Francis Beltran was supposed to be the 2002-2004 Cubs what Carlos Marmol has been to the 2007 and 2008 Cubs. He wasn't, as he was 0-0, 7.50 ERA in 2002 and 2-2, 4.63 ERA in 2004, with 38 walks in 47 innings as a Cub before being traded to the Expos in the Nomar deal. After spending the 2005-2007 seasons in the minors, Beltran was called up to the Tigers this year and posted a 5.73 ERA in 5 games before being sent back down.
SU-Terry Adams 4-5, 4.03 ERA, 31 earned runs
Terry Adams was like a horrifying nightmare you keep having night after night after night. Adams, a 4th round pick in 1991, was with the Cubs for five seasons from 1995-1999 despite having just one good year (1996, when he pitched an absurd 101 innings, all in relief). Twice during that stretch the Cubs were forced to make him their closer, in 1997 after Mel Rojas proved to be the worst God damn thing to ever walk from the pen to the mound, and in 1999 after Rod Beck's arm fell off. In 1997 Adams was just 18 of 33 (yes I know some of those blown saves were as a set-up man, either way it sucks) in save situations, and in 1999 he was just 13-21. It was in middle relief and set-up situations that the Cubs used Adams the most, however, and that is the role he plays on this team. In his 5 Cubs seasons Adams posted thoroughly mediocre ERAs of 6.50, 2.94, 4.62, 4.33, and 4.02 to go along with records of 1-1, 3-6, 2-9, 7-7, and 6-3 (overall 18-26), before leaving for the Dodgers in 2000.
CP-Kyle Farnsworth 2-4, 4.12 ERA, 27 earned runs
Kyle F*&king Farnsworth. No Cub in my lifetime has, for whatever reason, infuriated me more than Farnsworth. For six seasons Farnsworth trotted his dumb ass out to the mound and more often than not crapped on it. The spoiled frat boy with the million dollar arm and thirty cent brain wasted every ounce of talent that he was blessed with. Despite his 100 MPH fastball, Farnsworth never came close to becoming the Cubs closer. Rumors swirled around Farnsworth's party boy activities and every single member of the Cub organization and every fan who wasn't a God damn chick obsessed with his looks questioned his desire to even play baseball. The idiot wound up on the disabled list for breaking his toe by trying to punt a baseball and for kicking a metal fan in the clubhouse. After moving back and forth between the bullpen and the rotation in 1999 and 2000, Farnsworth moved to the bullpen permanently in 2001. The move seemed to work as the Farns posted a 2.74 ERA 76 games that year. But in 2002 Kyle's wild inconsistency returned and he finished with a 7.33 ERA in 45 games. A rebound year in 2003 that saw Kyle post a 3.30 ERA in 77 games was followed by a 4.73 ERA in 2004 that ended when Kyle returned from the DL after his fan kicking incident in time to post a 6.84 second half ERA as the Cubs choked away a playoff spot. In his Cub career Farnsworth was 22-37 and is just 26-54 in save opportunities in his career. After the 2004 season Kyle was traded to Detroit, who traded him to Atlanta in time for Kyle to blow a 6-1 Braves lead in a game during the Division Series against Houston. Kyle signed with the Yankees before the 2006 seasons and is now in his third year of hilariously preventing save opportunities from finding their way to Mariano Rivera.
So there you have the entire 25 man Roster of Broken Dreams. Any suggestions on players I've missed or you would have as reserves on the 40 man roster are welcome. With some very imprecise calculations, the Pythagorean Win-Loss record of this team comes out to a very dire 58-104. Before finding yourself overcome with despair over the state of the Cubs farm system, quickly look at this link and remind yourself that a turnaround is near and that this current Cubs team is coming off of a playoff appearance and has played great baseball for most of this season. As finals week is approaching this has taken far longer to get up than I expected and future posts may be sporadic for a while. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoyed this little segment.
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