Your Random Third Baseman of the Day: Wade Rowdon

Name: Wade Lee Rowdon
Ht: 6'2'' Wt: 180
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 1987

That unforgettable Wade Rowdon Swing.

Do you remember the Wade Rowdwon era? You don't? I don't see how you could forget his epic 11 game, 31 at-bat tenure with the Cubs on that 1987 team that made all Cub fans dare to dream...of a 76-85 finish. Teams that only play 161 games amuse me. That means that at some point in the season, you had a game that was postponed. Not only were you so far out that the game had no playoff implications for you, but you were apparently also playing a team that had no postseason implications. Meaning your team was bad enough to have as minimal an effect on the postseason picture as possible. Now who had the most minimal effect on that team? Wade Rowdon.

Wade Rowdon represents the bulk of the 83 guys (I finally counted them) who started at third for the Cubs between Santo and Ramirez. They were neither big ticket free agents who bombed, or star rookies who failed. They were just untalented, mediocre, cheap baseball players who the Cubs propped up there due to a lack of will to win. Some of them were cheap rookies, some of them were aging veteran castoffs, and many, like Wade, were no name players acquired in non-impact trades that no one will ever really note again. Wade Rowdon for Guy Hoffman wasn't exactly a block buster. It had less than marginal effects on either team, and it was quickly forgotten.

But enough of my waxing philosophical on the nature of the third base conundrum, back to the actual man himself. During his 11 game stint with the Cubs in September of '87, Rowdon started 7 games at third, Rowdon hit just .226/1 hr/4 RBI/.294 OBP/.419 slugging in that stint, but what was really notable was his defense. Or lack thereof. Rowdon contributed to the black hole of defense that was the Cubs hot corner that season. Primary starter Keith Moreland made 28 errors in 149 games started and posted a .934 fielding percentage. Backup Manny Trillo made 2 errors in just 5 games started and posted an even worse .926 fielding percentage. But Rowdon topped them all with 4 errors in just 7 games started with an .818 fielding percentage. Combined thats a .929 fielding percentage and 34 errors. All three also posted range factors that were below league average. Rookie groundball pitcher Greg Maddux went 6-14 with a 5.61 ERA that year. I'm willing to be every time a batter pulled one his pitches toward the third baseline Maddux swore and went to block the ball from getting into the dugout.

After the 1987 season the Cubs traded Rowdon to the Baltimore Orioles, who went 54-107 the next year after starting the season 0-21. Rowdon appeared in 9 of those 21 losses. Coincidence? I think not. He was sent down after April and spent most of the season in the minors before being released at the end of the year.

I couldn't find what Rowdon is doing now, though I've heard he's a minister. He apparently hosted a Christian baseball camp in Moldova though.

Wade Rowdon: So bad we sent him to Moldova.

Your SKO Random 3rd Baseman of the Day: Ron Coomer

Name: Ronald Brian Coomer
Ht: 5'11'' Wt: 195 (No one's buying that, Ron)
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 2001

The Strength.. The Skill.. The Coomer

During the 2000 season, as mentioned during the Bill Mueller article, the different third basemen the Cubs were forced to use combined to hit .224 with a .302 OBP and a tepid .712 OPS. The Cubs President and temporary General Manager, the brilliant Andy MacPhail (a favorite around these parts) "rectified" the situation by trading for Mueller and signing free agent Coomer from his former organization, the Twins. Coomer was expected to be the team's top bat off of the bench, Mueller's back up, and the right handed back up to left handed (and similarly burly) first baseman Matt Stairs, the Cubs prized free agent offensive pickup (who had posted a .221, .333, .411 line with Oakland the year before. Are you starting to figure out why this team so rarely works?) . Coomer had been a starter for the Twins from 1996-2000, and had posted decent power numbers as he averaged 13 hrs and 69 RBIs per year in his time in Minnesota. Coomer was not much of a patient hitter, however, and posted OBPs between .295 and .324 in his four full seasons as a starter, and never walked more than 36 times. The Twins made the decision to move in a different direction, and let the 34 year old sign with the Cubs.

During the first month of the 2001 season, Coomer remained on the bench where he belonged, and hit .267 with a .250 OBP in just 6 April games. Coomer was thrust into the starting job, however, after Mueller injured his knee in May, and would start end up starting over 70 games in Mueller's absence. For most of those starts, Coomer and Stairs paired together for perhaps the least athletic corner infield of all time. Coomer as a third baseman was one of those guys that always had his supporters, and they were always old guys who apparently were enamored of the fact that if he could make it as a major leaguer, so could they. They are the guys who'd throw out the same damn fact every time you'd deride him for his 7 errors and .954 fielding percentage, or the fact that his 1.89 range factor that year put him well below the league 2.17 average at third, or the fact that he could hardly ever get on base, as he posted a mediocre .316 OBP for the season.

The typical defense for Coomer was that he was "just supposed to be a backup" and "he has some pop". I've never understood the "he was just supposed to be a backup, therefore you can not boo him for sucking as a starter" argument. Bad players are bad players. Ron Coomer probably would have told you before 2001 he could start. He alone is responsible for not taking pitches, drawing walks, or having a slugging percentage above .400, therefore he deserves to be booed. As for Coomer having "some pop", that may have been true as a Twin, but it was long gone with the Cubs. Coomer's .261/8 hr/53 RBI/.316 OBP/.390 Slugging line for 2001 reaks of a lack of "pop". The only "pop" one could identify with Ron Coomer that season was this:

RC Cola- goes great with NASCAR.

The worst part about Coomer's offense is that the 2001 Cubs craved a second power hitting option behind Sammy Sosa. McGriff was busy wondering whether he wanted to leave the storied Devil Rays franchise for the upstart Cubs, Stairs was posting his lowest home run total since his rookie year, and Ricky Gutierrez was second on the team in RBIs. This dearth of power resulted in Coomer starting over 24 games each in the cleanup spot and the five spot. That mean's the guy protecting Sammy Sosa, he of the .328/64 HR/160 RBI/.437 OBP/.737 slugging was protected by a guy who failed to top double digits in home runs. Now, having a guy with less than 10 homers protect Sosa works alright when that guy is Mark Grace with his career line of .303/.383 OBP/.442 slugging. Despite what I can only imagine were similar tastes in beer, cigarettes, and women named Beth, Ron Coomer was no Mark Grace. Sosa ended 2001 with 116 walks, and 37 intentional walks. How many of those walks do you think came because the pitcher facing Sammy looked at the on deck circle and went "Holy shit, is that Ron Coomer? Nice." BALL FOUR!

After the 2001 season, the New York Yankees lured Coomer away from the Cubs. I'm not sure how you "lure" someone away by giving them a minor league contract, but I can imagine that some of the incentives in the contract included this package:





Coomer played in 55 games for the Yankees in 2002 and 69 games for the Dodgers in 2003 (posting OBPs of .290 and .299, respectively) before retiring, and is now a baseball analyst for FSN North, which carries most Twin games. And you thought it was bad that we had to deal with Dan Plesac.

Cubs-Phillies April 11, 2008

Cubs (6-3) @ Phillies (4-6)
6:05 PM CT. Comcast SportsNet Chicago

Pitchers: Cubs- Zambrano (1-0, 1.32 ERA). Phillies- Brett Myers (0-1, 6.31 ERA)

Lineups:
Cubs- LF Alfonso Soriano
CF Kosuke Fukudome (Finally! 2 hole!)
1B Derrek Lee
3B Aramis Ramirez
RF Daryle Ward (this is gonna be good)
C Geovany Soto
2B Mark Derosa
SS Ryan Theriot
P Carlos Zambrano

Phillies- CF Shane Victorino
3B Greg Dobbs
2B Chase Utley
1B Ryan Howard
LF Pat Burrell
RF Geoff Jenkins
C Carlos Ruiz
SS Eric Bruntlett
P Brett Myers

The Bear's Toughest Draft Day Decision

Draft pick of the day: ?

For as long as I can remember the Bears have used 1 draft pick, between their 2nd and 6th pick, to select a player who was spectacular in college in one way or another who for some reason fell down the draft board. Past recipients of this award have been (along with the reasons they slipped and my reaction when the Bears selected them):


2007: Garrett Wolfe, 3rd round, 93rd pick overall (Too small)
"What, the midget up the road?"
2006: Devin Hester, 2nd round, 57th overall (Didn't know what position he'd play)
"Fuckin Sweet."
2005: Kyle Orton, 4th round, 106th overall (Injury concern, bad senior year)
"NOOOOOOO!!!" (obviously I have grown to love Kyle)
2004: Craig Krenzel, 6th round, 148th overall (Bad quarterback)
"What the fuck is wrong with us?"
2003: Brock Forsey, 6th round, 206th overall (White)
"But he's white! Doesn't he know white guys can't play running back?"

So the biggest question for the Bears in this year's draft (besides why, oh God why, we wouldn't draft Rashard Mendenhall) is which successful college athlete who will slip down the draft board we will pick. Here are the best potential candidates:

QB, Brian Brohm:Louisville
QB, Chad Henne: Michigan
QB, Andre Woodson: Kentucky
RB, Ray Rice: Rutgers
RB, Jamaal Charles: Texas


My money's on Brohm in the second or Woodson in the fourth, but normally this pick surprises the hell out of me.

Your SKO Random Third Baseman of the Day: Steve Buechele

Name: Steven Bernard Buechele
Ht: 6'2'' Wt: 190
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 1992-1995

Steve Buechele, left, changes the life of Mark Grace, right, forever by excitedly discussing the fat chick he nailed the night before.

The early 90s Cubs, sadly, are the first Cubs teams that I am able to remember. That means that the first Cubs third baseman that I remember is that man pictured above. Do you ever wonder how I manged to actually form a lifelong dedication to the Cubs? Me too.

Steve Buechele was acquired from Pittsburgh by the Cubs during the 1992 stretch run, though I don't know if a team thats 40-46 and 7 1/2 games back actually Has a stretch run. The Cubs needed a veteran at third base, as Luis Salazar was rotting away and Gary Scott was..Gary Scott. Buechele was hitting .249 with a .331 OBP for the Pirates after having spent most of his career as a Texas Ranger. In 65 games with the Cubs that year, Buechele hit .276 with an underwhelming .338 OBP, and a less impressive .351 slugging percentage.

Look, I can understand the Cubs acquiring Buechele. He was an improvement over Salazar and they thought for whatever reason they needed him. Whatever. Then they made him the starter, and he had a decent season, hitting .272, 15 hrs, 65 RBIs, .345 OBP, .436 slugging. So they understandably brought him back for 1994. Then he hit just .242, with a sub-par .325 OBP, with 14 hrs, 52 RBIs, and given that his 1993 numbers were far better than his career averages and he was 33, naturally they'd assume he was done and let him go, right? Right? Wrong. Buechele was back for 1995, and rewarded the Cubs absurd faith in him being able to "rebound" with a .189, 1 hr, 9 RBI, .265 OBP, .236 slugging line in 32 games with the Cubs before being traded back to his original team, Texas and then retiring.Do you know how you get a slugging percentage that much lower than your OBP? You hit 3 extra base hits in 32 games. 3. Why did this guy have to be my first Cubs third baseman? Sonofabitch. My dad remembers Santo. My older cousins remember Cey. I got Steve f*&king Buechele.

Aww C'mon, This is Too Easy

Tonight, while watching the Gamecast of the Cardinals game to root for a Giants win that would put the Cubs only a .5 game back, I watched as Chris Duncan came to the bat, with this as his studio picture:


Say it with me: Shoooort Bus!

Random Cubs Third Baseman of the Day: Dave Hansen

Name: Dave Andrew Hansen
Ht: 6'0'' Wt: 195
Bats: Left Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 1997

How many people have Pinch Hitter listed as their primary position?

The 1997 Cubs. They of the 0-14 start, and final record of 68-94. Possibly the most abysmal Cubs team of my young lifetime, or at least a close second to the 2006 Cubs. Yes, I know they technically had a better record than the 1999, 2000, and 2002 Cubs, but the 0-14 start just sticks in the craw. I mentioned in the Kevin Orie article the controversy surrounding Manager Jim Riggleman's decision to start the rookie. The reason Riggleman was forced to start Orie? He had two other options. One was Jose K Hernandez. The other was Dave Hansen. Now one might look at Hansen's .311, 3 hr, 21 RBI, .429 OBP, .450 slugging line and say, hey, that looks good, why wasn't he starting to give Orie another year of seasoning? Well, if you look closer, you'll see that of his 90 games for the Cubs that year, 40 of them consisted of pinch-hitting appearances. Dave Hansen was a National League DH. Like Ryan Braun, even though Ryan doesn't realize it yet.

Dave's career consisted of 1230 games. 341 of those games he started. 341 of 1230. Thats means that Dave came off of the bench for 73 % of his career appearances. Jesus, even Jose Macias started half of the games he played in. I guess the moral of the story here is that Dave Hansen never played for Dusty Baker. What a way to miss the boat Dave. Spent all that time with the Dodgers and never bothered to try heading to San Fransisco. You could have asked about playing with Hank Aaron and found yourself starting 130 games a year.

So why is it a guy with a career .260 average and a career .360 OBP never could stick as a starter? In 1992, the only year of his career in which he was a full timer, Dave hit just .214 with a .286 OBP and a .299 slugging percentage. I won't drag out the kickball analogies again, but that's not good. So the Dodgers, and simultaneously all of baseball, gave up on the idea of Dave Hansen, Starter. Thus began the career of Dave Hansen, 10th man. In 13 seasons after 1992, he never made more than 43 starts in one year. In that time he developed into one of the "best" pinch hitters in major league history, with a career average of .234 as a pinch hitter, with 138 pinch hits, and a .348 OBP. The 138 pinch hits of Dave's career rank him sixth all time. Is that impressive? Not really. Look at #1. Esteemed company, Dave.

Anywho, back to the 1997 season. Orie goes down to AAA Iowa for most of May. Who gets the starts at 3rd base? Dave Hansen, who makes 38 starts, and 51 appearances there. Dave, proving that his awful rookie season on offense wasn't the only thing keeping him from being a starter at his "natural" position, makes 6 errors in those appearances for a miserable .922 fielding percentage. That ain't good. Orie comes back up to start June, and the Dave Hansen experience was no more.

After leaving the Cubs, Hansen went back to the Dodgers, then bounced around with the Padres and Mariners before retiring in 2005. He is currently the minor league hitting instructor for the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Dave Hansen- Not as good as Lenny Harris or Kevin Orie. Ouch.

Jon Lieber Descends Down From Heavens, Saves Game For Cubs

It's ok to stare..it happens all the time

Pittsburgh- Chicago Cubs pitcher Jon Lieber, who earned his first win as a Cub since 2002 on Monday, was scene surrounded in an immaculate glow of heavenly light as he walked to the mound from the bullpen on Friday night. Proving that he may just be the team's third best starting pitcher, despite being the one not actually in the rotation, Lieber pitched 4 1/3 innings of shutout ball for the Cubs after relieving pants-wetting starting pitcher Rich Hill. After the Cubs scored 5 runs in the 6th inning to overcome a 3-2 deficit, Lieber was able to earn his second win of the season. With the 7-3 win the Cubs improve to 6-3 on the season.

Cubs-Pirates, April 10, 2008- The "you guys wanna try and wrap this one up in 9?" Edition

Cubs (5-3) @ Pirates (3-5)
6:05 PM on WGN
Starting Pitchers: Cubs- Rich Hill (0-0, 3.00 ERA). Pirates- Matt Morris (0-0, 5.40)

Lineups:

Cubs- LF Soriano
2B Fontenot
1B Derrek Lee
3B Aramis Ramirez
RF Kosuke Fukudome
C Geovany Soto
SS Ryan Theriot
CF Felix Pie
P Rich Hill

Pirates- CF Nate McClouth
2B Freddy Sanchez
LF Jason Bay
1B Adam LaRoche
RF Xavier Nady
C Ronny Paulino
3B Jose Bautista
SS Brian Bixler
P Matt Morris

Random Cubs Third Baseman of the Day: Bill Mueller

Name: William (Bill) Richard Mueller
Ht: 5'11'' Wt: 175
Bats: Switch Throws: Right
Years as a Cub: 2001-2002


Play a whole season for these bums? Yeah, right.

Bill Mueller, I must state, was not a "bad" third basemen. When one looks at his stats, you'll see a consistent hitter who posted solid batting averages and on-base percentages in most of his major league seasons. On defense no one would have nominated him for a Gold Glove, but no one would have considered him a liability, either. Of the 90 some chumps that filled the gap between Santo and Ramirez, Mueller was one of the better and more likeable players. So what was the reason he failed to stick in Chicago? Well, if you look, you'll see that in two seasons with the Cubs, Bill played in 173 games before being traded to the Giants for the last 23 games of the 2002 season. Now a major league season is 162 games long, counting out the 23 games he spent as a Giant in '02, that makes 301 games where he was on the Cubs roster in 2 seasons. Out of those 301 possible chances at playing, Bill played in just 57% of them. Now we like to make fun of Mark Prior for being an injury prone pussy. But let's say a "full season" for a starting pitcher is 30 starts. Now if Mark had made 30 starts all five years he was in a Cub uniform, that would be a 150 starts. He made a 106. That's still 70 %. Is that bad? Yes. But not Bill Mueller bad. Thank you Bill, for making MARK PRIOR look durable.

Bill was acquired from the San Fransisco Giants in a trade before the 2001 season in which the Cubs sent pitcher Tim Worrell the other way. Bill had hit at least .290 in four of the five previous seasons and during the 2000 season the different third basemen the Cubs had used combined to hit just .224 with a .302 OBP. Bill started the 2001 season hot, as did the rest of the Cubs, as the team that had gone 65-97 in 2000 managed to hold 1st place in the NL Central for most of April through August. Bill was hitting .317 with 5 homers, 16 RBIs, a .409 OBP, and a .508 slugging percentage through the team's first 35 games, as the Cubs surged out to a 21-14 start. In the Cubs 36th game of the season, however, disaster struck for Bill Mueller. While chasing a foul pop up at the world's largest toilet bowl (Busch Stadium) Mueller crashed his knee into metal plating on the wall of the seats near the third base line, and shattered his left knee cap. The injury would keep him out for 2 months. Mueller returned in August, but hit just .179 in his first month off the DL as the Cubs lost the grip on first place they had had since April and the team would miss the playoffs and finish the season in third place. Mueller's final line for 2001 was as follows:

70 games, .295 avg., 6 hrs, 23 RBIs, .403 OBP, .448 slugging percentage.

But hope was strong going into the 2002 season for Mueller in the Cubs. The team had orchestrated a fantastic 19 game swing in their second season under Manager Don Baylor, they had signed All Star left fielder Moises Alou to bat behind Sammy Sosa,they could expect a full season from their "great" first baseman Fred McGriff, and the pitching staff featured a healthy Kerry Wood, Jon Lieber coming off of a 20 win season, and new starting young pitcher Matt Clement and closer Antonio Alfonseca. Hopes were high for a healthy Bill Mueller and the Cubs in 2002.

Alas, it was not to be. Complications with his knee injury forced Mueller to have surgery in March of 2002, Alou would also begin the season hurt, Lieber would blow out his arm during the course of the season, and Cubs fans realized that Antonio Alfonseca just sucks. Mueller missed the first 29 games of the 2002 season, during which the Cubs went 11-18. The season wouldn't improve from there, as the Cubs finished with 67-95, fired Baylor mid-season, and traded Mueller back to the Giants during the season's last month as the Cubs decided to go with the younger and cheaper Mark Bellhorn at third base for 2003. Mueller's line for the Cubs in 2002 was as follows:

103 games, .266 avg., 7 hrs, 37 RBIs, .355 OBP, .402 slugging.

And thus ended the Cubs career of Bill Mueller: an injury riddled debacle. Fear not for Mueller, though, he recovered well enough to win a batting title with the Boston Red Sox in 2003 while posting career highs in hits, batting average, home runs, RBIs, slugging percentage, and total bases. Mueller followed up his 2003 season with the Red Sox by winning a World Series championship with them in 2004. After the Red Sox acquired Mike Lowell in a trade with the Marlins in the 2005 offseason, Mueller was made expendable and he signed with the Dodgers for 2006. Believe it or not, a knee injury cut Mueller's season short at 32 games, and he was forced to retire. He now works for the Dodger organization, and even served as their hitting coach in 2007.

Here's to Bill Mueller, likely the most fragile third baseman to appear on this list.

Cubs-Pirates April 9, 2008

Chicago Cubs @ Pittsburgh Pirates
6:05 PM CT, Comcast Sportsnet Chicago

Starting Pitchers- Pittsburgh: Zach Duke (0-0, 3.18 ERA). Chicago: Ryan Dempster (1-0, 1.50 ERA)

Lineups-

Pittsburgh: CF Nate McLouth
2B Freddy Sanchez
LF Jason Bay
1B Adam LaRoche
RF Xavier Nady
C Ryan Doumit
3B Jose Bautista
SS Brian Bixler
P Zach Duke

Chicago: LF Alfonso Soriano
CF Scrappy Reed Johnson
1B Derrek Lee
3B Aramis Ramirez
RF Kosuke Fukudome
2B Mark DeRosa
C Geovany Soto
SS Ronny Cedeno
P Ryan Dempster

Your SKO Random Cubs Third Baseman of the Day: Kevin Orie

Hello friends. Today at Start Kyle Orton, I start a new feature which I will post daily (read: whenever I feel like doing it). Most Cubs fans have heard of the legendary "hole" at third base the Cubs had between the time they traded Ron Santo to the White Sox after the 1973 season and the when they acquired Aramis Ramirez in July of 2003. In those 30 intervening years the Cubs used nearly 100 different third basemen for varying stretches, in an attempt to find one to work. Santo had manned the position for the Cubs for 13 years, and Ramirez has manned it the past 5. In the meantime Cubs fans were subjected to some God-awful players at the hot corner. Every day I will talk about a different one of these third basemen. So here's the first in our Random Cubs Third Basemen of the Day series: Kevin Orie

Name: Kevin Leonard Orie
Height: 6'4'' Weight: 210
Bats: Right Throws: Right
Cubs Career: 1997-1998, 2002

The Intensity of Orie

The saga of Kevin Orie is one frequently told in baseball circles. I can't tell you how many times Iggins! or I have been begged to regale our non-Cubs fan friends with tales of the exploits of mighty, delicious, creamy centered Orie-O. My friend the Braves fan would frequently say "Man, Chipper Jones is alright, but I really wish Kevin Orie would come to Atlanta". Why do they crave Kevin? Well, my friends, its just because he was something special indeed.

The Cubs drafted Kevin in the 1st round of the 1993 amateur draft. The Cubs needed a young third baseman as their previous "third baseman of the future", Gary Scott, had proven to be a colossal bust (don't worry, he'll show up here soon enough). Kevin made a steady rise through the minors as he made it to AAA Iowa in just his second full pro season in 1996 (in 1993, his rookie year, he signed late and played only 65 games, and his 1994 season was limited to 6 games by injury). During that 1996 season, Kevin hit .299 with an impressive .394 OBP, leading the Cubs to give him a crack at the starting job for the big league club for the 1997 season.

During spring training Orie won the job over veteran Jose Hernandez and broke camp with the team. Many questioned Cubs manager Jim Riggleman's decision to start the young Orie, as he had at that point played only 14 games in AAA. Riggleman stuck with the decision however, and Orie was in the lineup on Opening Day. The Cubs lost that game, and the 13 games after that to set the National League record for consecutive losses to start a season. The 0-14 start would be the worst in major league history, but for those pitiful bastards, the 1988 Orioles, who started 0-21. Orie struggled during those 14 losses by hitting only .216 with no homers and 1 RBI. Orie finished his first month in the majors with a .239 average (with an impressive .354 OBP, however), and was sent down to AAA Iowa for most of the month of May. After Orie hit .378 with a .462 OBP, 3 hrs, 14 RBIs, and a .711 (!) slugging percentage in his 12 games in the minors, the Cubs called him back up on May 30. The fact that the Cubs were 20-32 at the time may have also led them to make the "why not bring him back, we're a minor league team anyways" decision.

After his call up Orie posted a .313 avg/.408 OBP/.531 slugging percentage in the month of June and cemented his position as the starter at third for the rest of the season. Orie ended up being one of the few highlights of the Cubs miserable 68-94 season, as he posted solid rookie numbers with a line of:

114 games, .275 avg, 8 hrs, 44 RBIs, .350 OBP, .431 slugging percentage.

By spring training of 1998, no one questioned Orie's position as the Cubs third sacker. By May of 1998, everyone questioned it. Orie's sophomore season with the Cubs was nothing short of abysmal, as he posted a line of :

64 games, .181 avg, 2 hrs, 21 RBIs, .253 OBP, and an absolutely anemic .279 slugging percentage.

If you want to know how bad a .279 slugging percentage is, picture the weakest kid in your PE class. Remember how when you played kickball he'd look fucking scared? Like he was gonna miss the ball? I mean its a big fucking ball that's bright red. He's terrified he won't be able to make contact. So you try to be nice to the kid even though he smells like ass and you can see the piss stains on his clothes every day, and you encourage him and tell him nobody ever actually whiffs on a kickball. Then he goes out there with his damn eyes closed and whiffs. Then everyone points and laughs at him and the teacher awards him first base out of pity because he's bawling and the piss stains are larger and darker. That's what a .279 slugging percentage feels like. Orie got awarded a single every now and then because he pissed himself. That's about it.

Normally the Cubs would probably have stuck with that much suck from a second year player who had showed so much promise in his rookie season, but the Cubs were, surprisingly, contending that year, and thus they acquired veteran third baseman Gary Gaetti, who dominated the second half of1998 before sucking up 1999 (he's coming too), and shipped Orie to the Marlins for Felix fucking Heredia (once nicknamed The Run Fairy by Yankees fans). Orie did improve with Florida, as he hit .262 in 48 August/September games with them with an OBP of .334 and a more respectable (though still not fantastic) .423 slugging percentage. That's more like the kid who bounced one off the wall of the gym and was so busy admiring it that he didn't realize it had bounced back far enough that the other team already had it, and got thrown out trying to stretch it into a double. I sucked at kickball. What is this article about? Oh right, Kevin Orie.

Orie played in only 77 games for the Marlins in 1999, hitting .254 with 6 hrs, 29 RBI, a .322 OBP, and a .396 slugging percentage. That's more like the kid who just kinda kicked it at whoever had the weakest arm in the infield and got a single every time because of their bad throw. Orie found himself back with the Marlins organization for the 2000 regular season, though all of it was spent with the Marlins AAA team. Orie then bounced from AAA to AAA team during the 2000 and 2001 seasons, racking up averages of .284 and .293 with OBPs of .363 and .386.

2002 found Orie back with the Cubs, as he signed a minor league contract before spring training. Orie failed to make the team as a utility outfielder, and spent most of the year at AAA Iowa, where he hit .299 with a career high 20 home runs, a then best 63 RBIs, a .352 OBP, and a .578 slugging percentage. Thats the dude who'd crush one up against the bottom of the bleachers so it rattled around and he'd get an inside the park home run. The Cubs called Orie back up to the majors for his first appearance in the big leagues since 1999 in September of 2002, and Orie hit .281 with 0 homers, 5 RBIs, a .306 OBP, and a .375 slugging percentage in 13 games. After this unimpressive showing, Orie was released by the Cubs during spring training of 2003. Orie was out of baseball during the 03 season, then bounced between five different organizations in the 2004, 2005, and 2006 seasons, posting great numbers at each stop but never making it back to the majors. He retired just one game in to the 2006 season.

Where is Kevin Orie now? He apparently sells real estate with Grubb & Ellis Professionals. Yes that's actually him. If you don't believe me compare that photograph with this one.

Kevin Orie: from the next Ron Santo to the guy that sold Jim and Donna their lovely three bedroom colonial (it's got a breakfast bar and a nook! a nook!). You were born to be a Cub, Kev.

Thoughts on a Weekend (and Monday) of Baseball

For those of you who may have missed the last couple Cubs games, here's the brief recap:

Friday: Astros 4, Cubs 3
Saturday: Cubs 9, Astros 7
Sunday: Cubs 3, Astros 2
Monday: Cubs 10, Pirates 8

- On Friday Rich Hill temporarily put on hold the worries about his rough spring training, as he threw 6 innings, struck out 4, and gave up just two runs.

-Mark DeRosa has made two pretty bad errors (on Friday and today)but nearly redeemed himself with a line drive homer in the 9th on Friday.

- Sadly (and this is a recurring theme so far) Reed Johnson just looks better than Pie this year.

Look into the face of Scrappiness

- This team has a very bad habit of tying games then immediately giving back the lead.

- The defense as a whole has been terrible. Including today's game, the team has given up 6 unearned runs on the season. That's bad.

-Ryan Theriot is taking a lot of pitches. He's hitting very few of them. And he's not walking. During yesterday's game Ron Santo ripped into Theriot for taking two straight strikes to begin an at bat. Frankly I think Theriot has tried so hard to fit into the leadoff hitter mode he's determined to take more pitches at the expense of not swinging at good hiter's pitches.

-Derrek Lee is back, and I mean 2005 Lee. He's ripped everything he's seen lately, with power. 3 homers in his first 7 games, which ties or surpasses his whole month totals of last April, May, and June each. If 2005 Derrek Lee (.335, 46 hr, 107 RBIs, .418 OBP, .662 slugging) really is back, then he could carry this team for months.

-Kosuke Fukudome is continuing to rape American pitching, after his 3 hits today he's hitting .458.

-I'm hoping his game winning sac fly today will put some fire back in Aramis, as this team could really use him getting hot to give the Cubs the NL's best 3-4-5 combo.

-Ditto for the 3 for 32 Alfonso Soriano.

- Ted Lilly is just not controlling his fastball right now. Judging from his lackluster fourth inning, and the fact that the shit hit the fan in the 5th inning of his first start, it looks like a lack of stamina. Hopefully he'll get stronger and regain last year's form.

- Carlos Marmol is still The Balls.

-Kerry Wood has gone 3 for 3 and looked absolutely dominant since that debacle on Opening Day. Off the ledge, Cubs fans.

- Bob Howry managed to come in and pitch effectively to stop the bleeding in the 5th today. That was huge for the Cubs and Bob.

- All in all, 4-3 in the first weeks worth of game's is not too bad, after they dropped to 1-3 Friday I know even those most practical of Cubs fans were concerned.

On a side note, on Saturday night while visiting the girlfriend at her school near Des Moines, Iowa, the two of us caught the Iowa Cubs game vs. the Round Rock Express. I was excited as the starter for Round Rock, Runelvys Hernandez, was a guy who'd had some success in the majors and I wanted to see how the I Cubs players, including five who've played with the Cubs in the majors (Eric Patterson, Jake Fox, JD Closser, Koyie Hill, and poor Matt Murton), did against major league (relatively) pitching.

After they chased Hernandez with five runs in less than 3 innings, the team took a 7-3 lead into the top of the 7th. What followed was a 31 minute long, 9 run inning by the Express in which the I Cubs used 4 pitchers and got hammered. Final score? 16-8, Round Rock. Ouch. Fortunately, of the 5 pitchers used in the game, and who all got hammered, only one is on the Cubs 40 man roster, the rehabbing Juan Mateo. Mateo looks like he's got a way to go, as he struggled with mid 80's velocity and control. We left after they gave up 3 more runs in the top of the 8th, as the temperature had plummeted and the girlfriend was freezing to death. She did enjoy the game though, helped me to console Matt Murton, noted the Eric Patterson has a lot of power for a little guy (he homered), and she especially enjoyed the infant that sat next to us and stuck his tongue out at me every 3 seconds.

Matt Murton looked solid that game, going 2-4. Somebody help that poor kid out.

Anywho, the Cubs have won 3 in a row. Enjoy it.

Cubs Notch First Win of Season, Ryan Dempster Lives for 4 More Days

Do you like to get freaky? I like to get freaky.

The Cubs got on the board today with a 6-3 win over the Brewers. There were a lot of positives, Soriano got a hit, the team looked incredibly patient at the plate and chipped away at Dave Bush, Ramirez managed to crank a home run into the wind, Kerry rebounded to lock down his first save, and above all else Ryan Dempster looked damn good after the first inning. His control was solid, his stuff was breaking quite well, and he did a fine job of shutting down the Brewers for 5 of his 6 innings. Hopefully we can expect that effort the next couple days from Rich Hill and Jason Marquis.

The win moves the Cubs to 1-2 with Houston coming in for three games at Wrigley starting at 1:20 tomorrow. Hopefully a few wins against the back of the Astros rotation will give us a solid beginning to the season, rather than the slow start of last year.

Go Cubs.

Cubs- Brewers 1:20 PM, April 2, 2008

Pitching Match-up: Ted Lilly (Cubs) (15-8, 3.83 ERA in 2007) vs. Jeff Suppan (Brewers) (12-12, 4.62 ERA in 2007)

Cubs Lineup
SS- Ryan Theriot
LF- Alfonso Soriano
1B- Derrek Lee
3B- Aramis Ramirez
RF- Kosuke Fukudome
2B- Mark Derosa
C- Geovany Soto
CF- Felix Pie
P- Ted Lilly

Brewers Lineup
2B- Rickie Weeks
CF- Gabe Kapler
1B- Prince Fielder
LF- Ryan Braun
3B- Bill Hall
RF- Corey Hart
SS- JJ Hardy
P- Jeff Suppan (god damn Ned Yost)
C- Jason Kendall

Doooood

Let us all rest now. Are you over what happened yesterday? Good. Now let's take a chill pill and review:

- Fukudome should bat 2 and Soriano should bat 5.

- The Reds have Dusty Baker AND Corey Patterson. Be merry.

- It's one game, and the Cubs are a great team.

- Fukudome is Japanese, so he didn't understand how good Ben Sheets was.

- Speaking of whom, Ben Sheets is a great pitcher and the weather was shit. Both teams struggled for this reason (replace 'Sheets' with 'Zambrano'), not because we lack some kind of plate discipline.

- As I recall, many Cubs walked, and even Pie had a 7+ pitch at bat. The only Cub with swinging problems was Soriano, but we should expect that. It's why we love him, folks.

- Tomorrow the weather will be clear, the opposing pitcher will be Suppan, and the true power of the Cub lineup will shine through. Remember folks, we've only gone through 1/162 of the season. Don't kill yourselves.

Brewers 4, Cubs 3 (10)

Couple thoughts on today's game:

-Our hitters approach is the same as it was last year: there is no approach, other than Kosuke.

-Loved leadoff hitter Ryan Theriot: 0-4 2ks.

-Kosuke Fukudome is Godlike. Too bad his day was ruined by his supporting cast.

- Rough start for closer Kerry and Bob Howry. We need you guys to come up big, don't shit the bed.

- Carlos looked great, still needs to master that cramping problem. Also, who didn't shit their pants when Derrek and Z almost collided?

-Seriously, I have to reiterate, I can't even get on Theriot and Pie for their lack of patience, nobody, but nobody, but Kosuke showed anything resembling plate discipline. It was like watching the Arizona series all over again.

- It'll be a long day off tomorrow ( I hate the automatic day off after Opening Day, you wait so long for the game, it happens, and then they blue ball you the day after) then our man Ted Lilly goes against Jeff Suppan. Here's hoping the Cubs are a little (read: a whole fucking lot) more patient with Suppan and score a bit off of a guy with a 4.62 ERA last year.

American League Preview

Yesterday I got the National League, so here's my predictions for the American League

AL East

1. Boston Red Sox (97-65)- There are some questions about the rotation, but Dice-K will take a step up this year and the offense and bullpen are both excellent. They'll make it back to the playoffs.

2. New York Yankees (88-74)- Their counting on two guys who are essentially rookies (Phil Hughes, Ian Kennedy) and two guys who are essentially dead (Andy Pettite, Mike Mussina) to key the rotation. I like Joe Girardi's ability to coax some success out of the youngsters, but this rotation and an aging lineup (Robinson Cano and Melky Cabrera are the only starters under 31) will keep them out of the playoffs for the first time since 1994.

3. Tampa Bay Rays (84-78)- I know, I'm batshit crazy, but I like Kazmir, Shields, and Garza in the rotation (assuming Kazmir gets back from his injury soon), and they have a solid lineup with Carlos Pena, Carl Crawford, Cliff Floyd, and BJ Upton.

4. Toronto Blue Jays (82-80)- They have some potential in the rotation, but they're injury prone. Scott Rolen sucks offensively these days and he's already hurt. They think David Eckstein will help because he's a "gamer". At least they have Matt Stairs.

5. Baltimore Orioles (64-98)- Fuck Andy MacFail. This team sucks. I won't even describe it for you. Just look at the roster.

AL Central

1.Detroit Tigers (95-67)- They have some shakiness in the bullpen without Joel Zumaya and Fernando Rodney, but the rotation is solid 1-5 and they'll score 1,000 runs. No exaggeration.

2. Cleveland Indians (92-70)- CC Sabathia could possibly be better in his free agent year than last year when he won the Cy. I don't think Fausto Carmona was a fluke, and I think Travis Hafner rebounds from a so-so year to lead their extremely good offense. If I could trade Felix Pie and my dreams for Grady Sizemore, I'd do it.

3. Chicago White Sox (77-85)- They're starting Joe Crede over Josh Fields, hoping someone will trade for Crede, they're secretly shopping Paul Konerko. This team has fire sale written all over it. They'll blow it up and start from scratch.

4. Minnesota Twins (73-89)- They sent Fransisco Liriano down to the minors to build up strength. There's really not much to be excited about here, but there never is with the Twins. They're a few years away from building back up to contention.

5. Kansas City Royals (71-91)- They have three middle of the rotation starters who will give them some quality innings (Meche, Bannister, Greinke), but you could wander through Kenya and find a place with more power than their lineup.

AL West

1. Seattle Mariners (89-73)-I think Felix Hernandez has a huge year in their rotation, but it's Erik Bedard who will make them contenders. They need a big rebound from Richie Sexson to score consistently, but I think they'll do just enough.

2. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California, 90210 (86-76)- They have potential for a good offense in Guerrero/Hunter/Anderson/Rivera/Kendrick, but John Lackey is out for at least a month and Kelvim Escobar's shoulder may require season ending surgery. I don't think there's enough pitching left after that.

3. Oakland Athletics (76-86)- Their rebuilding, and will probably deal Rich Harden, Joe Blanton, or both during the season. They have a potential star in Daric Barton. Other than that, not much too look forward to in Oakland (is there ever?).

4. Texas Rangers (72-90)- I expect them to shop Hank Blalock as soon as he proves he's healthy, their pitching rotation needs career years from Kevin Millwood and Vicente Padilla just to hope for .500. Josh Hamilton was a good pick-up, though.

Division Winners- Boston, Detroit, Seattle
Wild Card- Cleveland.
AL MVP- Miguel Cabrera, Tigers. Runner Up- David Ortiz, Red Sox
AL Cy Young- Justin Verlander, Tigers. Runner Up- CC Sabathia, Indians.
AL ROTY- Jacoby Ellsbury, Red Sox. Runner Up- Daric Barton, A's.

Division Series-
NL- Cubs over Mets AL- Red Sox over Indians
Phillies over Rockies Tigers over Mariners

NLCS- Cubs over Phillies ALCS- Tigers over Red Sox

World Series- Cubs over Tigers. Honestly, who the hell else did you think I was going to take?

Cubs Opening Day Roster Finalized

Alright, Lou finally did announce that Pignatiello has made the team over Marshall. This is really a smart move, as keeping Marshall stretched out and ready to start is important to this team in case Dempster or Marquis falter, or in case he becomes a bargaining chip for a trade. Pignatiello was a reliever in the minors and during his 4 appearances with the Cubs last year. So that means..

Roster Spot #24- P- Carmen Pignatiello #63
Ht: 6'0'' Wt: 205 Bats: Left Throws: Left

No major league photo available

Also, I'm pretty much tired of the previews now. So preview Pignatiello yourself. Here's his baseball reference page. Make him whatever you want to be. Is he a pony lover? Does he paint in his free time? Was it always his childhood dream to be a left handed middle relief pitcher? Can he be good enough that they just get rid of Scott Eyre? You decide.

Anywho, until Eyre gets back here's the official rankings of your Cubs 25 man roster for Opening Day 2008

25. Ronny Cedeno #5
24. Carmen Pignatiello #63
23. Reed Johnson #9
22. Mike Fontenot #17
21. Michael Wuertz #43
20. Jon Lieber #32
19. Hank White #24
18. Kevin Hart #22 (Eyre's Spot)
17. Felix Pie #20
16. Ryan Dempster #46
15. Jason Marquis #21
14. Ryan Theriot #2
13. Bob Howry #62
12. Daryle Ward #33
11. Carlos Marmol #49
10. Kerry Wood #34
9. Geovany Soto #18
8. Mark DeRosa #7
7. Rich Hill #53
6. Kosuke Fukudome #1
5. Ted Lilly #30
4. Aramis Ramirez #16
3. Alfonso Soriano #12
1B. Carlos Zambrano #38
1A. Derrek Lee #25

Tomorrow's game will be Cubs vs. Brewers at Wrigley Field. 1:20 pm central time.

Pitching Matchup: Carlos Zambrano (0-0) vs. Ben Sheets (0-0)

Lineups:
Cubs
SS Ryan Theriot
LF Alfonso Soriano
1B Derrek Lee
3B Aramis Ramirez
RF Kosuke Fukudome
2B Mark DeRosa
C Geovany Soto
CF Felix Pie
P Carlos Zambrano

Brewers
2B Ricky Weeks
CF Tony Gwynn, Jr.
1B Prince Fielder
LF Ryan Braun
RF Corey Hart
3B Bill Hall
SS JJ Hardy
P Ben Sheets
C Jason Kendall

That's right, the intrepid manager of the Brewers, Ned Yost, has decided that his lineup will be more productive with former Cub Jason Kendall batting in the 9 spot and PROTECTING the pitcher than with the traditional pitcher in the 9 hole lineup. Yikes.

But soon our national nightmare is over, Opening Day is coming!

Cubs Preview 3/30/08

Roster Spot 1A- 1B- Derrek Lee #25
Ht: 6'5'' Wt: 245 Bats: Right Throws: Right

Bow to me. Or not, I'm still gonna tower over you.

I know this is debatable. There are those of you out there mentioning how Soriano and Ramirez had more homers last year, and Ramirez had more RBIs. You'll mention Derrek's abysmal spring training stats. You'll show that I picked Aramis Ramirez to win National League MVP this year. You'll, hell, I don't know, and I don't care. Derrek Lee is the most valuable position player on this team. He is the only person who consistently blends hitting for average, hitting for power, near-perfect defense, and a high on-base %. When he went down in 2006, the whole team fell apart. He is the undisputed team leader, as noted by Lou Piniella, who frequently held conferences with Derrek during the tumultuous early months of last season. He plays the game with dignity and excellence, and seems in perfect control of his actions and emotions, though he knows when to fight and to fire up the team, like his brawl with the Padres Chris Young last year.

Last season Derrek lead the team in average, OBP, hits, was second in total bases, made the All Star team, and he won his third career Gold Glove award. He was the only one of the big three to show up in the playoffs, as he hit .333, where Soriano and Ramirez combined hit .068. Some were afraid, after he hit only 6 home runs in the first half, that his wrist injury of 2006 had forever robbed him of his power. Then he clubbed 16 second half home runs. Overall Derrek hit .317, 22 hrs, 82 RBIs, .400 OBP, and .513 slugging. That's a pretty good year. Not great, at least not by Derrek's standards. I expect that the wrist is now fully healed, given his second half power surge, and will put the number of home runs he hits this season at 35. But the true value of a Derrek Lee to a team isn't with the statistics, its in the clubhouse and the dugout, and in the way he sets an example for his teammates on the field.

After the Cubs let Mark Grace go after the 2000 season I viewed everyone of his replacements at first base with everything from scorn (Fred McGriff, Julio Zuletta, Hee Seop Choi) to bemusement (Randall Simon, Matt Stairs), but never did I really see any of them as the player the team needed at that key spot. From the moment the Cubs acquired the Derrek after the '03 season, he's been my favorite on this team. This season he'll continue to show us all why.

Cubs Preview 3/30/08

We reach the end of the roster preview (pending whether or not I have to do one for Carmen Pignatiello, I really wish Lou would just say whether he or Marshall got the lefty reliever spot), and rather than put one ahead of the other like I did with the previous 23, I'm going to label these two 1A and 1B, and let you , the reader, decide which one is more important to the team, as I can't imagine them winning without either.

Roster Spot 1B-P-Carlos Zambrano #38
Ht: 6'5'' Wt: 255 Bats: Switch Throws: Right

Don't lie, the Crazy turns you on just a little..

There are few characters in Cubs history like Carlos Zambrano. On one hand you have a guy who (if his Venezuelan records can be believed) is only 27 years old and has already won 82 games and pitched at least 200 innings a year since 2003. A guy with five pitches with unbelievable movement that can make him downright unhittable when he's on. A guy with competitive spirit unlike any other and breaks his bat over his knee when he strikes out, because unlike most pitchers he can hit, and wildly screams and gesticulates after getting needed outs.

On the other hand, however, you have a guy who walks way too many batters (0ver 100 in '06 and '07) and frequently erupts because his personality is his own worst enemy. When Carlos has a bad day, everything goes to shit. In his 18 wins last year, Carlos had a 1.43 ERA, in his 13 losses? 7.75. In 123 innings in those wins, he walked 43 batters. In his 76 losing innings he walked the same number. Sometimes his gestures and emotion can broil him in conflict with his teammates (see Barrett, Michael) and anger his manager. Frankly, even Cubs fans should admit that they'd probably hate the crazy Venezuelan if he weren't on our team.

But Carlos IS on our team. And we love him. After years of losing Cubs teams, too many of whom gave the appearance that they didn't Mind losing, we embrace his antics, knowing that more often than not, he'll shove it down the other team's throat. Critics will point to his rising walk total and how his ERA has increased by small increments the last few years. I'll wager on Carlos anyways. The guy is a champion, and anyone who watches him sees that the stamina and the stuff have always been there. He hasn't lost anything, if anything his stuff sometimes gets so much movement and velocity that it surprises him. Maybe losing Prior and Wood and Maddux and having to be the ace put pressure on him and he needed time to cope, especially last year during one of the craziest, most up and down seasons in Cubs history. But Carlos was there when we needed him most. He keyed the June/July turnaround for the Cubs by going 9-3, and he nailed it down in September and August with a 4-2 stretch. In game 1 of the NLDS, he pitched fantastically only to be let down by the bullpen.

This spring training Carlos has steered clear of his usual predictions and bold statements. He's gone out, taken the ball, and quietly dominated. Two weeks ago he declared himself ready for Opening Day. Tomorrow, and all this season, he will prove it.

OPENING DAY IS TOMORROW (well, tonight kinda)

That's right, besides tonights Braves-Nationals one game "look at our ballpark" game, Opening Day starts in earnest tomorrow. Tomorrow starts the first of 162 wonderful Cubs games to keep you from having to deal with the reality of your own life. Girlfriend left ya? Well Derrek Lee hasn't so sit your ass down and turn on WGN. Dying of a terminal illness? So you suffer for a few painful months preoccupied with your own demise. Welcome to life as a Cubs fan! Grab an Old Style and shut up! Wondering what that massive lump on your neck is? It can wait till after the massive lump that is Daryle Ward hits a pinch hit home run to win the game!


Seriously, though, ask any kid,even those that have played both football and baseball on a team, what sport they wished they could play professionally. Jeff Samardzija chose baseball over football. When Michael Jordan had reached the highest of heights in basketball, he went back and he tried baseball. Bo Jackson had it in him to be one of the greatest runningbacks of all time, and he risked it by playing baseball and football. The skeptic will tell you its because there's less chance of getting hurt in baseball, its not a contact sport, it requires less physical exertion. True, all of that may be the reason. But I'm willing to wager that any kid, whoever got that first glove, oiled it, slept with under his mattress with it wrapped around a ball wouldn't tell you its because its easier. Baseball captivates and holds people for life in a way no other sport can. In football its the aesthetic thrill of watching the crack and the thunder of the collisions, of watching the ball fly in the air, and the dazzling catches. Then the game is over, the people head home, and you wait another week. In baseball you see a walk off home run, a complete game shutout saved by a diving catch into the wall by the centerfielder, and you go back, you watch the replay on Sportscenter, and the next day its waiting for you again.

I, like most kids, can still remember that first glove, and how Dad taught me how to use it. How you learn not to be afraid of the ball by having it hit you in the mouth one time and realizing you'll survive. How you sit there and stare the time you hit your first home run, not to show off like Manny Ramirez or Barry Bonds, but just out of sheer amazement that you had the ability to do that. 99.9% will never play Major League Baseball. Hell, I never played high school baseball. But every Opening Day I raced home from school, made excuses to get out of whatever afternoon commitments I had, and got in just in time to catch the last 6 or 7 innings. Baseball's seen a lot in the way of scandals the last decade, from strikes to steroids to Selig. But if you were never watching for the home runs or the excitement, if the reason you sit down in front of a TV to watch the game is just to know that its still there, just like it was when you were four years old and your grandfather talked your ear off while going on about Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, and how much he feared having to see the Cubs pitch to Willie Stargell, you never left. Sure, the Cubs could go 66-96 just three years after being 5 outs away from the World Series, and you could curse and swear and Vow not to be pulled into it again. Then someone tells you they signed Alfonso Soriano and you find yourself checking spring training box scores. It's just the game. Just the game.

Baseball Season Preview

Tomorrow night the true regular season begins, because I'm not counting that weird little Japan thing the Red Sox and the A's did. But tomorrow the Braves and the Nationals will play a season opener at the brand new Nationals Park (if you haven't seen pictures of it yet, look it up, it's nice) in the United States of America, followed by the normal full fledged Opening Day slate on Monday, including the Cubs vs. Brewers at Wrigley. So since you clearly have no idea what to expect this season, and look to me as your spiritual and mental leader in all things baseball, here are my team by team, division by division, league by league, previews and prognostications for the 2008 season.

Starting with the National League, where men are men, pitchers bat, and nobody has a Steinbrenner.

NL East (in predicted order of finish)

1. Philadelphia Phillies (92-70)- They have a great lineup including the last two MVPs and a guy who hit 22 homers and 103 RBIs last year despite missing well over a month with a leg injury. Rollins, Howard, and Utley plus Brett Myers back in the rotation and the continued ascendance of Cole Hamels will have the Phils back in the playoffs this year.

2. New York Mets (89-73)- Johan Santana is a god, and no one will deny that, but relying on guys like Moises Alou (already hurt), Orlando Hernandez (already hurt), Pedro Martinez (hurt every year), and Ryan Church (not actually good) for key contributions just ain't gonna cut it. This team is aging and injury prone and will fall far short of their expectations. Fuck David Wright.

3. Washington Nationals (83-79)- Yeah, these guys are my surprise team for 2008. Remember in 2005 when in their first year as the Nationals they surprised everyone by playing .500 for the season? This team is talented, and despite some serious questions in the rotation (read: God-Awful Rotation), I like the outfield of Wily Mo Pena/Elijah Dukes in right, Lastings Milledge in center, and Austin Kearns in right, as well as their two first basemen (Dmitri Young and Nick Johnson), and think that Ryan Zimmerman is just an outstanding young ballplayer. They'll surprise people.

4. Atlanta Braves (81-81)- Smoltz is already suffering some injury problems, Glavine doesn't have much left in him in his second Atlanta go-round, Mike Hampton won't make it through the season, Tim Hudson has posted just one great season in his Atlanta tenure, and I don't think they even know who their fifth starter is. I see this team stumbling out of the gate, trading Teixera at the deadline, losing Chipper Jones to his yearly injury, and causing Bobby Cox to retire in fury.

5. Florida Marlins (69-93)- Mark Hendrickson, Rick VandenHurk, Andrew Miller, Scott Olsen, and Ricky Nolasco. Thats their starting rotation. Miller has bonafide talent, Olsen has a bonafide douchebag attitude, and the other three are bonafide hacks. I don't care what Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla do, they aren't overcoming that rotation.

NL Central

1. Chicago Cubs (95-67)- The pitching is solid, the offense can be great (though it'll probably be just enough), and who else did you think I would pick?

2. Milwaukee Brewers (84-78)- Ben Sheets has pitched one full season in his career, Yovani Gallardo is already hurt, Jeff Suppan has never really been great, Capuano needs another surgery and had a terrible year last year, and Villanueva, Parra, Bush, and whoever else may wind up in that rotation are all just mediocre to bad. The offense will be great again, but I don't understand Brewers fans who can't see that Rickie Weeks is their version of Corey Patterson.

3. Houston Astros (77-85)- I like their lineup, and Carlos Lee always scares the shit outta me, but there is Nobody in that rotation after Oswalt

4. Cincinnatti Reds (75-87)- Everyone and their mother thinks this team will surprise and finish second. Dusty Baker is doing everything he can to keep their true talent off of the team, and he'll run Harang and Arroyo into the ground.

5. St. Louis Cardinals (72-90)- Pujols is hurt, Ankiel will struggle after his HGH debacle as he's not exactly mentally tough, Troy Glaus isn't the force he used to be, they have Cesar at shortstop, and their rotation until Mulder, Carpenter, Matt Clement, and Joel Piniero (laugh at those last two, go ahead) is Adam Wainwright (good), Braden Looper (mediocre), Kyle Lohse (hahaha), Todd Wellemeyer (you're killing me), and Brad Thompson (hoooo boy). This team is gonna be bad, and only Cardinals fans are naive enough to assume that the Carpenter/Mulder/Clement trio is actually going to just come off the DL and be great from day one. Jesus. They'll lose 90 some games.

6. Pittsburgh Pirates (70-92)- The rotation is actually the best in the division behind the Cubs, but the offense is just putrid after Freddy Sanchez, Jason Bay, and Adam LaRoche, none of whom are superstars as it is.

NL West

1. Colorado Rockies (91-71) I don't trust having three unproven starters in the rotation, but that offense is the best 1-8 in the National League.

2. Arizona Diamondbacks (88-74)- Their one two of Webb and Haren is the best in the NL, but I just can't believe in a full season of Randy Johnson at this point, I wish Doug Davis the best with his cancer treatment but there's no telling how long that will keep him out, and Micah Owings has to prove he's a better pitcher than hitter, and the offense has yet to prove itself. Except in three games against the Cubs in the playoffs. Sigh.

3. Los Angeles Dodgers (85-77)- Brad Penny, Derek Lowe, and Chad Billingsley are a solid 1-2-3 combo, and Hideki Kuroda has drawn great reviews from critics. Esteban Loaiza is holding down the 5th spot until Jason Schmidt is ready, but I don't expect much from either. Outside of the rotation, they need to keep playing Andre Ethier over Juan Pierre and play Andy LaRoche over Nomar, but I see Andruw Jones slump from last year continuing, Jeff Kent continuing to decline, and this team failing to be a scoring threat on any kind of a consistent basis.

4. San Diego Padres (79-83)- Yet another great rotation in this division, which contains 3 of the NL's top 4, as the Padres have Jake Peavy, Derrek Lee's punching bag Chris Young, Greg Maddux should still do just enough to win 10-14 ball games, and Randy Wolf is a decent #4. Some guy named Joe Germano is #5, so, good luck with that. The offense is anemic after Adrian Gonzalez. Khalil Greene has yet to put two good offensive seasons together, Brian Giles is nearly dead, their other two outfield spots are practically empty, and they have the great platoon of Michael Barrett and Josh Bard behind the plate. Rough year for Padres fans.

5. San Francisco Giants (63-99)- Oh God will this team be bad. Barry Zito has looked awful lately and will be traded if he puts up good enough numbers to have anybody want him, Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum are great young talents who will lose games they shouldn't thanks to their shitty offense, Kevin Correia and Noah Lowry need to rebound big time. Their offense is just, well, sad. They've got the rotting corpses of Omar Vizquel, Rich Aurilia, Dave Roberts, Randy Winn, and Ray Durham either starting or taking up space on the bench, their rookie stars (Daniel Ortmeier and Eugenio Velez) haven't looked all that impresive, and they have Bengie Molina batting cleanup. They'll be the worst team in the majors this year.

Division Winners- Phils, Cubs, Rockies
Wild Card- Mets

NL MVP- Ryan Howard, Phillies. Runner Up- Aramis Ramirez, Cubs.
NL Cy Young- Carlos Zambrano, Cubs. Runner Up- Johan Santana, Mets.
NL ROTY- Kosuke Fukudome, Cubs. Runner Up- Geovany Soto, Cubs. (the girlfriend has him winning it, which she swears is due to his talent and potential, not his name).

Cubs Preview 3/29/08

Roster Spot #3- LF- Alfonso Soriano #12
Ht: 6'1'' Wt: 180 Bats: Right Throws: Right

Smoked

Few things offer as much excitement for Cubs fans as an Alfonso Soriano at-bat. Though he frequently strikes out and seems to be a walking contradiction to our belief in the power of On Base Percentage, no one, bar none, has as many eyes on him when he comes to the plate as Alfonso. Because everyone knows when he gets one, he hits faster and harder than just about anyone else in the league. Last night's spring training game against the Mariners is a prime example. In Fonzie's second at bat he hammered the first pitch he saw nearly 500 feet down the left field line. Foul. On the second pitch he hammered the next pitch 400 feet to right. Fair. How one human being has so much power in a relatively slight frame no one knows. But he downright punishes the ball.

Soriano started out in Japan, then was signed as second baseman by the Yankees, played with them from 1999-2003, though his first full year was 2001. Before the 2004 season he was traded to the Texas Rangers as the centerpiece of the A-Rod deal. After spending 2004 and 2005 with the Rangers Soriano was traded to the Washington Nationals, who wanted to move him from second base to left field, as Soriano was a less than adequate defensive second baseman. Soriano at first refused the move to left field and said he wouldn't play. When Nationals manager Frank Robinson reminded him that if he didn't play he wouldn't be eligible for free agency after the year, Soriano relented and took the field. In his two seasons as a left fielder Soriano hasn't been spectacular other than with his power arm, as he leads all major league outfielders in assists over that period with 31.

But Soriano is an offensive player and his offense vonsists of the long ball. He's hit 241 of them in his career and averages 36 a season. In his season in Washington he hit an amazing 46 over the deep walls of RFK stadium, which lead to him being the most sought after free agent of the 2006 offseason. Surprisingly the Cubs actually went after the most sought after free agent and gave him the biggest deal in Cubs history for 8 years and $136 million.

In his first season with the Cubs Soriano stayed true to his exciting-if-inconsistent history, if one looks at his month by month totals:

April: .270, 0 hrs, 1 RBI, .308 OBP, .392 slugging
May: .302, 4 hrs, 11 RBIs, .362 OBP, .500 slugging
June: .336, 11 hrs, 18 RBIs, .379 OBP, .697 slugging
July; .265, 3 hrs, 12 RBIs, .276 OBP, .425 slugging
Aug.: .250, 1hr, 1 RBI, .294 OBP, .375 slugging.
Sept/Oct: .320, 14 hrs, 27 RBIs, .354 OBP, .754 (Jesus Christ!) slugging

Soriano's April/May and August numbers especially were hurt by two stints on the DL with leg injuries which also cut his stolen base numbers from 41 in 2006 to 19 last year, but you can see that in general when he was hot, as he was in June when he won National League Player of the Month, and in September when he set a Cub record for home runs in the final month of the season, he was an unholy power-hitting force. When he was cold, he was mostly a mediocre guy who struck out a lot and had a very hard time getting on based. In the end, however, Soriano finished with 33 homers and 70 RBIs despite missing over a month total with the injuries and was the spark plug for the Cubs, as their two really great runs of the season corresponded with Soriano's two really good months, and their August slump began as soon as he went down with his quad injuries.

As Soriano goes, so go to the Cubs, so pray he goes all season long in 2008.

Cubs Preview 3/28/08

Roster Spot #4- 3B- Aramis Ramirez #16
Ht: 6'1'' Wt: 215 Bats: Right Throws: Right

Boom Bitch.

July 23, 2003. Most Cubs remember the day, if not the exact date, when the Cubs acquired Aramis Ramirez from the Pittsburgh Pirates, along with Kenny Lofton, in exchange for Jose Hernandez (hehehe), and two minor leaguers: pitcher Matt Bruback and "can't miss" 2nd base prospect Bobby Hill, in what should easily go down as the greatest trade in Cubs history.

In his 4 1/2 season's with the Cubs Ramirez has hit 146 HRs and has 454 RBIs, and averages 33 homers and 103 RBIs per season as a Cub. The other player that the Cubs received in the deal, Kenny Lofton, was the spark plug of the 2003 Cubs offense throughout the second half and playoffs before moving on to a different team each of the last 4 years.

The players the Pirates got? Well, Hernandez hit .223 the rest of '03 in a Pittsburgh uniform and finished the year leading the majors in strikeouts for the third straight year. He's currently unemployed after spending the last four seasons with four different teams (Dodgers '04, Indians '05, Pittsburgh again and Philadelphia '06). Bruback sucked in the minors for the Pirates, was released, claimed by the Padres, then wandered around for a few years before disappearing from baseball after 2006. Bobby Hill never lived up to his potential in the slightest and was out of baseball after bouncing back and forth between the minors and Pittsburgh in '04 and '05 and spending the the 2006 season with the Padres AAA team.

But besides being an absolute frigg'n steal, even after the Cubs signed him to a new 5 year, 73 million dollar deal in November of '06. For those who don't think thats a bargain, see Cabrera, Miguel, Aramis has been the best consistent power hitter for the Cubs over the years, despite his penchant for taking a month off each year with various aches and pains. Though his home runs dipped to 26 last year, that can be attributed to the slow start that all three of the Cubs power guys (Lee, Soriano, and Ramirez) got off to last year, and I expect a return to 35-40 homers this year as the likelihood of all three repeating their off-seasons of last year is extremely remote. Ramirez did rebound from his slow home run start to hit the epic 2 run, game-winning shot off Brewers closer Francisco Cordero on July 29th in a game considered to be the 2007 season's turning point. Ramirez certainly hasn't shown any signs of a slow start this year as he has a .333 average and .451 OBP in spring training, though I'm hoping, given the cases of Fukudome and Lee, that spring training numbers don't mean shit.

Aramis' defense has also greatly improved since joining the Cubs. After committing 25, 19, and 33 errors as a Pirate in 2001-03, Ramirez has posted career lows in each of his years with the Cubs, and last year had only 10 errors and a career high .972 fielding percentage last year, by the way, in a sign that the media clearly DOES NOT have an East Coast bias, New York Mets 3rd baseman and 2007 Gold Glove winner David Wright had far better defensive numbers with only 21 errors and a much higher .954 fielding percentage. Wait, what? How the f*&k did Wright win the Gold Glove? Probably because Wright was on a playoff team and Ramirez was not. Wait, Ramirez was on the playoff team, and Wright had no homers and only 3 RBIs in his teams 1-7 slide at the end of the season that will go down as one of the greatest choke jobs in history. But there is no East Coast bias. This is yet another example of the underrated nature of Aramis' play, as for his first few years in a Cub uniform he was overshadowed by the last good years of Scott Rolen's career, and then had his best 3rd baseman in the NL title wrongfully passed over to Wright.

Now that I've angried up the blood talking about how Ramirez got jobbed of a Gold Glove that he so desperately wants to shed his "disinterested, horrible fielder" reputation, I'll go on the record as saying that this is the year I believe he vaults his way into legendary status and puts up numbers that even the national (New York/Boston) media can't ignore. Here's to Aramis Ramirez. Fuck David Wright, and fuck Andy MacFail (unrelated, but I get some kind of High from saying it).

Cubs Preview 3/26/08

Roster Spot #5- P- Theodore Roosevelt "Ted" Lilly #30
Ht: 6'1'' Wt: 190 Bats:Left Throws: Right

Call me Steve Trachsel Again, Bitch.

I'm not sure how many people anticipated Ted's success last year. Andy Dolan of Desipio did, somehow, but few others. Many of us winced when Jim Hendry signed Ted to a 4 year, 40 million contract. While I didn't disagree with the prediction that Ted's ERA would drop once he left the AL, his career inconsistency made me a little nervous, as did the fact that he had never topped 200 innings pitched in a season. But Ted did indeed prove worth at least the first year of his contract and posted the following line:

34 GS, 207.0 Innings, 15-8, 3.83 ERA, 174 K's, 55 walks, 1.140 WHIP.

All of which either tied or set career highs. The Desipio theory is that Ted is a lot like Jamie Moyer, Randy Johnson, or David Wells, three lefties who posted far better numbers in their 30s than twenties. I can hope, and Ted's first season has given plenty of reason to hope, that he will follow the career path of those three.

In 2007, Ted was the most consistently good starter on the Cubs. While Zambrano and Hill both have better stuff, neither was as reliable every time as Ted, who led the team with 20 quality starts. (6 or more innings pitched, 3 or less runs surrendered). Ted was also the team's stopper in 2007, as he went 9-1 in games he pitched after a Cubs loss. The only time Ted wasn't clutch for the Cubs was his start in the playoffs, when he struggled against the Diamondbacks, gave up 6 runs in 3 innings and famously slammed his glove to the mound after giving up a home run to Chris Young. Given that the whole team skipped the playoffs, I'll let him off the hook.

Ted's personality has always been one of his more aspects, from his bulldog personality on the mound to his notorious clubhouse wrestling match with manager John Gibbons when he was a Blue Jay in '06. Given that the Cubs like their starting pitchers to be well versed in hand-to-hand combat, he fits in well.

Some wonder if Ted Lilly can repeat his success of 2007 this year, but given that he's won 15 games in back-to-back years and now seems to have a grip on the control problems that have plagued him in the past, I am not among them. My bold prediction for Ted this year? 17 wins.

Yet another Change to the Roster Preview

Alright, Lou Piniella has announced that for unexplainable reasons both Cedeno and Fontenot have made the big league club, leaving Matt Murton off the roster and about to be sent to Iowa, or more likely traded (for Matt's sake I really hope he is). So adjust your scorecard so the countdown now looks like this

25. Ronny Cedeno (originally Fontenot/Fuld)
24. Marshall (originally Marshall/Hart)
23. Reed Johnson (originally Cedeno)
22. Mike Fontenot (originally Wuertz)
21. Michael Wuertz (originally Lieber)
20. Jon Lieber (originally Hank White)
19. Hank White (originally Eyre)
18. Kevin Hart (Eyre on DL)
17. Felix Pie (originally Dempster)
16. Ryan Dempster (originally Marquis)
15. Jason Marquis (originally Murton)
14. Ryan Theriot (same)
13. Bob Howry (same)
12. Daryle Ward (same)
11. Carlos Marmol (same)
10. Kerry Wood (same)
9. Geovany Soto (same)
8. Mark DeRosa (same)
7. Rich Hill (same)
6. Kosuke Fukudome (same)
5. ??
4.??
3??
2.??
1.??

So there, that should keep things straight until the next bizarre Cubs roster decision.


F*&k Andy MacFail

God Damn, Do I hate Andy MacPhail

My God I'm a contemptible douche bag..

Alright Andy, you've made official what's been sadly obvious for months. The Brian Roberts deal is off. So really, thank you. You have officially proven that you will continue to fuck over the Cubs regardless of which major league team you are currently working (read: giving the owner a rim job) for. All sources say that the Cubs and Orioles couldn't "match up" on players. Match up? What the F*&k don't the Cubs have that doesn't match up with the Orioles? Ronny Cedeno is actually BETTER than your starting shortstop option, Luis Hernandez (if you don't see the disparity given the small number of major league at bats for Hernandez, check out the minor league stuff). Sean Gallagher would literally be your fifth starter by default. Jose Ascanio, Cerda, Donald Veal, who ever the hell else the Cubs offered would easily have been worth the trade. You already shucked off Miguel Tejada and Erik Bedard, and Roberts was your last bargaining chip, unless you really think you're gonna get something for Kevin Millar.YOU NEARLY WOUND UP WITH FREDDY BYNUM AS YOUR STARTING SHORTSTOP. FREDDY BYNUM! God Damnit MacFail, learn to trade a player. Did you fail to notice that the Cubs were the Only bidder for Roberts? The ONLY one. Chances are no team at the July 31st deadline will offer you 4 prospects for Roberts, especially if he should get off to a slow start. This ranks among the greatest baseball executive blunders of all time. When the team you built, er, rebuilt, is busy working its way to its 11th straight losing season this year, Daniel Cabrera has finally managed to flame his way out of your organization (which he would have in a successful franchise 3 years ago) Jay Payton is still rotting on your bench, and Roberts has managed to score only 40 runs on one of the worst offensive team in the majors, look around at the Cubs minor leagues and wonder how many of those players would have had a chance of rescuing you sooner from your team's quagmire of despair. Christ, even Tampa Bay is supposed to have a chance this year and you're wondering whether four prospects , two of whom are considered in the Cubs top 10 prospects and one of those two being in Baseball America's Top 100 Prospects, are worth a career .281 hitter who won't be in an O's uniform past July 31st anyways? No wonder we managed to get two fucking playoff appearances out of your 15 years as Cubs President. Go to hell, where you'll probably find all of the cellar dwelling teams you've built waiting for you.

Cubs Preview 3/26/08

Roster Spot #6- RF- Kosuke Fukudome #1 (Kohs-kay Foo-koo-dough-may)
Ht: 6'0'' Wt: 190 Bats: Left Throws: Right

Insert obligatory samurai/zen-like concentration caption.

Enter the Fukudome. Since signing with the Cubs in November Fukudome has become the big story of the 2008 season. That and that whole century thing. You know the thing where its been 100 years since the Cubs won the World Series? Oh, you hadn't heard that? Me neither. Fukudome has proven popular with Cubs fans already, as many fans can be seen at spring training games wearing his #1 shirt with his last name written in Japanese Kanji script. Fukudome has also become quite popular with his teammates, who have pulled a variety of pranks on him ranging from Zambrano putting on his #1 jersey and telling Kosuke that he is #1 around the Cubs to Scott Eyre leaving a cheeseburger (?) next to his locker. What can you say, he's Scott Eyre. Cheeseburgers are apparently the only things he understands. Fukudome's name has also led to much fun for the Cubs blogosphere, as he's earned such nicknames as Fukakke (Desipio), K-Fuk (Hire Jim Essian!), and Fukker (Iggins!).

So we've established that Fukudome is now a pop culture icon for Chicago fans? But what about the player himself. Well, last year he hit .297 with 13 hrs and 48 RBIs and a .443 (!) OBP for the Chunichi Dragons of the Japanese Central League. Due to bone chips in his elbow requiring surgery, Fukudome put up those numbers in only 81 games last year. For those of you unable to do the math to figure that into a full 162 game schedule, that amounts to 26 homers and 96 RBIs (get it, you multiply by two). That followed a 2006 season where Fukudome was Cental League MVP after hitting .351 with 31 hrs and 104 RBIs with a .438 OBP in 130 games. For his career Fukudome has a lifetime .397 OBP, and has posted OBPs of .400 or better in 4 of the last 5 seasons. He is also a Gold Glove outfielder in Japan with a cannon for an arm. Exhibit A:
In the words of Iggins!, "commence the pants-shitting".

But what can Cubs fans expect in this first season out of Fukudome in the United States? Japanese hitters play in smaller ballparks and Japanese imports Hideki Matsui, Kaz Matsui, and Hideki Okajima all saw declines in their power numbers once they came to America. Personally I do not believe the power drop will be all that drastic for Fukudome playing at Wrigley Field, and see him putting up 20-25 home runs. But even if he falls below the 20 mark, if his average and OBP remain at his Japan levels he will still be extremely valuable to the Cubs lineup. Even as his spring training average has hovered around .230 Kosuke has still put up a very impressive .406 OBP in 19 games, so Cubs fans can still look forward to seeing Fukudome on base even as he adjusts his hitting style to the Majors.

Fukudome was the Cubs most important free agent acquisition in what was a rather quiet off-season for them, and he will be a huge factor in deciding what the team does in 2008. If he follows the Hideki, and not Kaz, Matsui route, the $48 million deal he signed with the Cubs will look like a bargain. If he fails, then he'll be the latest goat in 100 years of frustration. (I know, I said goat. guh.)