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Sunday, December 15, 2013

Bears 38, Browns 31- Something for Everyone

Do you hate Jay Cutler? I bet you enjoyed those two interceptions then, my frent. Josh McGowen wuddena made dose trows. Good ting da Bears defense bailed 'em out with dat pick six.

Do you love Jay Cutler? Hard not to when the guy completes 71% for 264 yards, 3 TDs, and a 102 rating in leading his team to a comeback win.

Do you love Marc Trestman? Well the guy showed some tremendous balls, stuck with his QB through a firestorm and came out of it on the right side of the victory column. His vaunted offense looked like total shit for large parts of three quarters and still sleepwalked their way to 440 yards and 31 offensive points against the #7 defense in the NFL, and they get a matchup next week against a defense that just allowed 48 points to Matt f*&king Cassel.

Do you love the Bears? Well, the best offense in franchise history managed to overcome it's own issues to keep the team in playoff contention. It was a banner day for everyone. Except Chris Conte. F&%k that guy.

The Good:

Jay Cutler: yeah, yeah, meatball. Eat it. When you complete 71% at 8.5 YPA and have 100+ passer rating, you wind up in the good column. I don't care how good Josh was, the offense is more fun to watch with Jay at the helm, even if it's not always for the right reasons.

Run-blocking: Matt Forte rushed for 127 yards, including *gasp* an easy 3rd and 1 conversion to keep a scoring drive alive. Michael Bush picked up yards, amazingly enough. They iced the game late and kept the chains moving most of the day.

Alshon Jeffery: Holy shit, kid. What did we ever do to deserve you?

Brandon Marshall: 6 catches for 95 yards and a TD, the TD and a beautiful 41 yard jump ball both coming on plays where Brandon flat-out schooled one of the best corners in the NFL in Joe Haden.

Zack Bowman: they were both gift-wrapped, horrid lobs by Jason Campbell, but with this defense you take what you're given.

Chud and Norv: thanks guys. We might have been in trouble there if you had tried running at all against the worst run defense in the NFL. Good thing you didn't.

The Bad:

Turnovers: Oh God, those picks. Neither was a particularly bad read, especially by Cutler standards, but one was underthrown and the other was way too high. Hopefully that was just the proverbial "rust". Then the Marty B fumble that was just depressing because I really never want to be mad at that handsome sonofabitch.

Chris Conte: WHAT PURPOSE DO YOU SERVE?! You can't tackle. You got beat deep for a Josh Gordon TD on a play where getting beat was utterly inexcusable. You let an interception on a game-tying drive bounce right off your chest. I hate you.

The Ugly:

My state of mind: Jesus Christ, me. Take a chill pill. Jay had plenty of time to right the ship and he did, you lack-of-faith having me. I hate me.

That's all for now. Let's root like hell for Baltimore tomorrow night. Go Bears.

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